Revelry (Taint #1) (38 page)

I give him a sad smile. “Last time I checked, polygamy wasn’t working out so well for all of those bunnies.”

“Well yeah, because there’s a hundred of them,” he mumbles.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, my throat constricting. “No matter what we do here, this ends badly for one or all of us.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Levi says, resting up on his elbow in order to see my face. “Why can’t we just be without putting limits on it, especially a time limit?”

“Because it does have a time limit.” I take a deep, shaking breath. “What, are we going to do this forever? Settle down in the suburbs with a dog and a white picket fence, the perfect little household of three?”

“I don’t know. Why can’t we just be with one another and see where it all leads? We don’t need a label; we’ll make our own fucking labels.”

“We’re already in too deep.” Coop whispers, pushing the hair back from my face. He kisses the tip of my nose, and when he pulls away, I think his gaze must be a mirror of my own. There’s a war raging inside him.
Pain, lust, anger, sadness
. All fighting to the surface. Demanding to be felt. I know because I feel it too. “You can’t save any of us right now.”

He runs his fingertips over my face and down my neck, my arm, and across to my breast, circling my nipple. I shrink back because it tickles, and Coop gives me his trademark smirk. Levi gently grasps my shoulder and rolls me over so I’m lying on my back. They both run their hands over me in lazy arcs, sweeping fingertips over my breasts, belly and upper thigh. In all my time with Brad, he’d never comforted me like this. How is it that two men, whom I’ve known for all of a few weeks, have shown me more love, companionship and more affection than one man who I’d given my heart to for five years?

We lie there, each of us silent, weighed down by our thoughts, buried beneath the weight of all the things we’re not supposed to feel. All the things we promised ourselves we wouldn’t feel.

Despite the ache in my chest I smile as their stroking becomes lighter, until they’re no longer moving and have instead both settled into sleep with their hands on my body, each laying claim to it the way they have my heart.

I
sit at the window and stare out on the dark landscape around us as I quietly play a new riff over and over on my acoustic. My band mates are asleep, but Ali-Cat isn’t. She climbs out of her bunk and pads softly down the aisle in a Taint T-shirt and a pair of cotton panties. She closes the curtain, shutting us in our little kitchenette, and quietly makes us both a coffee, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and pouring a decent helping into each cup. She slides the coffee across the table to me as she slips into the booth. I smirk—because I know she loves that shit—and I continue to play, watching her as she brings her cup to her lips and swallows down a mouthful. Her throat bobs as she swallows, and I try not to imagine her swallowing back my come as I lead into the familiar licks of “All I Want is You”, her favourite.

“Sing it to me.”

I shake my head. “I’ll wake everyone up.”

“If you don’t, I’ll scream and throw the kind of tantrum worthy of one of your spoilt fangirls.”

“And here I thought you were one of my spoilt fangirls?”

“I’m hardly spoiled,” she teases.

“You don’t call multiple orgasms spoiled?”

She grins. “Okay maybe, I am spoiled, but I’m definitely not a fangirl.”

“Jeez, tough crowd.”

She laughs. “Shut up and sing, loser.”

I do. She closes her eyes as I quietly sing the lyrics to one of the saddest and most beautiful songs ever written.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I say, and her eyes snap open as she frowns.

“I don’t remember those being the lyrics, Coop,” Ali complains. She grins though, and I know my words have affected her. I don’t know much about Ali’s past, but I know that even if that douchebag ex of hers told her every second of every day that she was beautiful, it wasn’t enough. I hate that his cheating so obviously made her doubt how fucking incredible she is. “Now you have to start all over again.”

“How come you don’t like my songs the way you do other bands’?”

“Um, I don’t know, Coop.” She rolls her eyes, “Maybe because all your songs are about your ex?”

“You need me to write you a song, Ali?”

“No. I don’t need anything but your mouth on mine.”

“And my cock in your tight hot cunt,” I say.

“And that,” she agrees. I set the guitar aside and pull her closer, so she’s leaning into my side.

“I could easily lose my mind with you, Ali.”

“I think I already have lost mine.” I know she’s referring to the shit that still hasn’t died down over our video. The record company has hired a team of lawyers, hell bent on having every last trace of it removed from the Internet, but they get one taken down and it pops up on another site. That Gainy fucker is suing Levi, so once we’re done with these next three shows we’re hopping a flight back to Nashville for a court hearing.

“I think I lost mine the second I met you, Ali-Cat.”

“Really? I kinda hated you the second I met you.” She pulls back so she can look at my face.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Oh, yes I did. You were this close to getting junk punched, mister.”

“Nice.” I sip my coffee, relishing the warmth and the smooth burn of whiskey as it slides down my throat.

“Well, I couldn’t exactly punch your pretty face. Not the lead singer of Taint. Imagine the field day the press would have had with that.”

I run my hand down her arm, over her hipbone and across her upper thigh, tracing my fingertips over her pubic bone, applying slightly more pressure as I stroke her clit through the soft cotton.

“I remember these panties,” I say quietly, and lean over to get a better look at her arse. They’re the ones that she’d worn that night we’d kidnapped her and taken her to the bar, the ones that Levi had written
Rock Stars Only
on as she was hoisted up on Zed’s shoulder and her arse was on display.

I remember how much I’d wanted to fuck her then, how I’d stared at her and wanted inside, even in front of the other guys. I’d wanted to throw her down on the asphalt and show them who she belonged to, and let them know that I was the only rock star getting inside those panties. I hadn’t done anything about it then, but I sure as hell would now.

“I couldn’t bring myself to throw them out.”

“Do you know how hard I was that night?”

“I’m guessing about as hard as you are now.” She leans in, softly kissing my lips. “You mean I could have been fucking your brains out since July?”

“Ali-Cat, if it were up to me, I’d have fucked you senseless in front of everyone that first day at Harbour Records.”

“I think I would have liked to have seen that. It would have made for some awesome angry sex.”

“You want angry sex?” I say, looking down at her face. She tilts her head up and stares at the ceiling, as if she’s really contemplating it.

“No. Not with you.”

“Not with me? With who, then? Levi?”

She nods, and chews on her bottom lip.

“Why not with me?” I ask, trying to keep the anger from my voice and failing.

“Because it’s more with you.”

“More? What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” She shakes her head and tries to sit up, but I pull her back down on top of me, so she’s wedged between the table and my chest. Her heart beats rapidly against my chest, and her breath is hurried. My lips tip up in the corners. “Do not smirk at me, mister.”

“Where are you running to, Ali-Cat?”

I tilt her chin up towards me and I lean down as though I’m about to kiss her cheek, but I whisper in her ear instead, “What did you mean by more?”

She lets out a deep sigh. “I meant that it’s different with you … with
just
you.”

“Yeah, probably because there’s not another cock in the room.”

“It feels different when the two of us are together. Different from when I’m with Levi, when we’re with Levi.”

“Have you fucked him on your own?” I try to keep my voice even, but I can’t because the words taste bitter on my tongue.

“Um, are you forgetting Vegas?”

I flinch, tense my jaw and take a deep breath. I have to get over that shit, but the thought of the two of them alone eats me up inside.

“No. I could live to a hundred and twenty and I’ll never forget Vegas.” I trace a finger over her face, across her brow, and down the length of her cute little upturned nose. “Have you fucked since? Alone?”

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t know, Coop.” She takes a deep breath.

“Are you in love with him?”

She rolls her eyes and sits up. “Why do you have to go there?”

“I think it’s a valid question.”

“In my own way,” she says impatiently. “Yes, I do.”

I frown, wanting to tear my hair out because I need a straight answer from her, and she’s talking in circles. “In your own way, what does that mean?”

“I care about him, but it’s—”

“Do you love me?” I ask, before I can stop the words from spilling out of my mouth. She glares at me.

Ali gets up and takes our empty coffee cups across to the sink. I climb out of the booth, hell-bent on getting a straight answer on this, even if it’s going to cut me in two. She leans over the kitchen sink, her hands braced against the veneer and her head hung low. I’m about to ask her again when she turns to face me.

“Yes,” she says, and there’s no hesitation in it. There’s no bullshit or fear, just brutal honesty, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever fucking heard. I slide my fingers in her hair and yank her forward, smashing my mouth down on hers. She opens for me and I lift her in my arms, walking us the half a step back until we hit the table, and then I lay her out on it and cover my body with hers. She bunches her fists in the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head and tossing it to the floor. I grip her panties and slide them off, and then I unzip my fly, but she reaches out and grasps my forearm.

“Skin,” she whispers, pleadingly. “I want your skin on mine, not clothing. I want it slow, and I want to feel every inch of you.”

I smirk. I can’t help it. The fact that she wants me, that she loves me, without pause or hesitation, it makes me harder than fucking diamonds.