Revealing Kia (8 page)

I pulled her into my arms
, guilt a heavy wave rushing over me. Her soft weeping cut into me and I felt like the lowest form of slime imaginable.

I shut my eyes and prayed to whatever holy being was out there that I would do whatever they asked if they could just tell me what to do. I was completely lost.

When
I opened my eyes, I wasn’t nearly as surprised as I should have been to find Adam standing a few feet away, two coats clutched in his hands. His blue eyes met mine over Nessie’s shoulder and I felt my heart break all over again, but this time for me and what I would never have because I could never pick him.

He must have realized the same because something
I couldn’t put a name to flickered behind his eyes. His mouth opened, determination and anger etched into the hard slash of his jaw. I knew what he would say even before it could reach his tongue. I gave an almost imperceptible shake of my head, telling him without words that it would be futile.

My heart and soul may have wanted him,
but my loyalties went to the person who needed me most.

Adam

I love my sister. I love my sister.

It had become a mantra, a broken record inside my head, repeating itself until it was burned into my brain. But I didn’t lik
e her very much at that moment no matter how hard I tried.

She sat on the floor of the sitting room with the TV on to some stupid reality show while she painted her toenails.
Kia sat beside her with her arms around her knees, her head tipped towards the screen. There were pink Styrofoam things stuffed between her small toes, separating them. Van had helped paint each nail a soft, baby pink that normally did nothing for me, but seemed especially endearing on Kia. Vanessa’s nails were painted a disturbing, radioactive green. It must have been because she’d been all excited about how it glowed in the dark.

Neither mentioned the incident that morning and no one pushed for an explanation.
Kia and Van had returned, finished breakfast, helped clean and then parked themselves in front of the TV to do their nails. I was pretty sure I was the only one who felt like something in the air had changed irrevocable, not just between me and Kia, but also between me and Van, although she wouldn’t know it. I doubted she would care if she had. I was sure she’d probably even be happy that I was miserable.

I tried to tell myself that I didn’t blame her, that I deserved it after the incident with Taylor. I had no right to ask anything of Van, especially when it came to her friends, but this wasn’t that. Kia wasn’t a mistake.
I hadn’t set out to deliberately fall for her best friend. I hadn’t even known until it was too late. Not that Van would see it that way. No amount of explaining would change her mind. She was annoyingly stubborn like that. Dad didn’t know it, but she got that from him. They’d both probably hit me if I ever mentioned such a thing, both so adamant to butt heads. Neither would ever admit that the real victims here were Mom and me. True, Van believed it to be her, so unfairly treated by her family, when in reality she had no idea how lucky she was. She never had to wake up at four, head to swimming, then school for eight, then hockey straight after until seven, only to go home and study until late into the night to maintain that grade point average. And that was only day one. No. Van woke up barely in time to catch the bus, breezed her way through classes, if she ever bothered to show up, then went up and did nothing all day. Yeah she got scolded and reprimanded, but she wasn’t pushed and drilled into the ground to always win, to be the best. She had no idea how much I hated it. How much I would give anything to trade places with her for just one day. Now she had Kia, the one person who made me feel normal, the one person who didn’t expect me to be good at everything. She wanted me for me and I wasn’t even allowed that. It was like some freaking curse.

“Dude.”
Kenny elbowed me. “You listening?”

I pushed myself higher on the sofa, a little
embarrassed to realize I’d been sliding down it for the last little while and was practically on the floor.

“What?”

Kenny followed my line of vision and squinted. “Are you watching
The Bachelorette?
”

I frowned, glance dart
ed to the TV. “The what?” I had no idea what was happening on screen. Some blonde was standing in a room full of men with a rose in her hand. “No!” I said sharply, looking away, as though by watching I was committing some kind of man crime.

Kenny
snorted, but wisely kept his thoughts to himself. “So are you going to tell me what the matter is?”

I scoffed at him, adjusting my weight uncomfortably in my seat. “
What makes you think something’s the matter?”

The look he gave me was one of the
driest I’d ever seen in my life. It practically oozed sardonic amusement. “Seriously? Okay.” He hefted himself higher and leaned his lanky body in my direction, resting an elbow on the cushion between us. “Aside from the fact that you’ve been chewing the crap out of your nails, you’ve been sitting glaring at space like it stole your favorite underpants.”

“I don’t have favorite underpants,” I muttered.

Kenny raised a brow. “Really? I have several. I even named them.”

I snorted, feeling my lips twitch. “You’re such a loser.”

He grinned. “So are you going to tell me? Or are you going to make me guess?”

“
It’s Van,” I said, unable to suppress the grudge in my tone.

Kenny
’s eyebrow lifted. “Yeah? What she do?”

I told him.
Kenny was the only person who knew about Halloween, about the masquerade party and Kia. He was the only person I trusted. Plus, he was my best friend. He hadn’t been much help on the matter, but it had been nice venting to someone about the mystery girl haunting my every waking and dreaming hour. His solution had been to throw myself at the mercy of Kia and let her fill the gaping hole Marie had left behind. That was before the mystery had been solved.

The whole situation
was total and utter bullshit. The moment I’d laid eyes on her standing behind the register at
Taco-Taco
, her cheeks flushed to the tips of her ears and her nose bunched in a grimace, I’d been captivated. How was I to know she would literally keep tripping into my life after that? And every time she did, I was pulled a little deeper in her web, a web she had no idea she was weaving around me. Agreeing to attend Claudia’s party had been the result of too much
Red Bull,
homework and not enough sleep. There was never anything to suggest that by going I would twist my world upside down.

“Your sister has some serious
sharing issues,” Kenny remarked when I finished.

“Yeah well, I can’t blame her for that. Not really
, not after what I did.”

Kenny
shrugged his skinny shoulders. “But still. I mean, you apologized, right?”

“I did everything short of
slitting my own throat, although I’m sure that would make her feel better.”

He slapped my shoulder sympathetically. “
Sorry, man. I can’t let you do that. You know how hard it is to get people to like me.”

I laughed and punched his shoulder. “That’s true.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“I don’t have one.”

“We could always knock your sister out and hide her in a remote location. I’d even help watch her.”

I raised an eyebrow. “
Yeah that doesn’t up your creeper level.”

“What?” He splayed his long fingers. “I’m being a good friend.
Besides, knocking out and kidnapping girls is the only way I get action half the time.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “
You’re such a dumbass.”

“And you’re such an emo brat.”

I shoved him. “I’m not emo!”

“Oh poor me, the girl I love
wants my sister.” He paused, seemed to consider something. “That’s kinda hot.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Kenny shrugged. “Hey, she’s not my sister. There’s nothing weird about me picturing her naked.”

“Picturing who naked?” Van turned her head over her shoulder to glance at us.

Kia glanced back as well, but her gaze was on me. It was a task not shifting in guilt over all the times I’d imagined her naked. I knew it wasn’t a crime, but I didn’t want her to think I was a total pervert either.

“You,”
Kenny answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“That’s nasty!” Van cried. “
Why would you do that?” Her accusing eyes were on me now.

“Whoa, no, no, that was all him.” I pointed to
Kenny, who shrugged.

“It’s true.
I’m a pig.”

Shaking her head, Van turned back to the TV. Kia continued to watch me a moment
, her expression giving nothing away before facing forward as well.

“
Seriously though, bro. You should just talk to her and let her know what’s up. No way she’d say no if she knew Kia felt the same. They’re friends after all.”

It wasn’t the best idea, but
it was a start somewhere.

Kia

“There’s only three days before Christmas.” Mrs. Chaves marched into the room, a woman on a mission in her slacks and cheerful, plum-colored sweater. She was fiddling with the clasp on the gold watch around her wrist. “Does anyone have any last minute shopping they need to get done? We’re going to put up the decorations tomorrow and I don’t want to rush around the day before.”

“I do.” Adam rose instantly to his feet, tossing the book he’d been reading down on the coffee table.

Kenny leapt up as well. “I’m always up for a car ride.”

Mrs. Chaves looked momentarily surprised to find him still there.
I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t seen much of Mr. and Mrs. Chaves in the last couple of days and maybe they thought Kenny would have left already.

“Won’t your parents be expecting you,
Kenny?” she asked him.

Kenny
shrugged. “My parents think I’m at bible camp. They won’t even know I’m gone.”

Mrs. Chaves blinked. “Oh, all right. You’re of
course welcome to stay.” She turned blue eyes on me. “Kia? Would you like to go for a drive?”

A drive? With Adam? I started to say no.

“We’re going!” Nessie hobbled to her feet, staying on the heels of her feet to keep from smudging her nail polish.
“I just need to get dressed.”

Mrs. Chaves frowned. “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”

Nessie laughed as she penguin-walked her way past her mother. “You’re funny. Coming, Kia?”

I glanced back at the mess we’d left behind. “I’m going to clean up,” I said.

“Leave it!” Nessie shouted over her shoulder. “We have to hurry.”

“Vanessa
Rachel Chaves!” her mother shouted. “You get back over there and clean up your mess!”

At the bottom of the stairs, Nessie stopped and turned. “Why? We’re coming back anyway.
I’ll do it then.”

Mrs. Chaves opened her mouth, but Nessie was already up the stairs, moving much faster than someone with wet toenails should.
I had a suspicion she was trying to avoid her mother’s wrath.

“I’ll do it,” I said. “I’m already dressed
and I think my nails are dry.”

Mrs. Chaves sighed. “That girl drives me insane. I don’t know what to do with her.”

I said nothing as I bent down and began gathering wads of tissue. I screwed the caps back on the bottles and tossed everything into the plastic container Nessie kept her nail things in.

Adam was in the kitchen, pulling a water bottle from the fridge
when I straightened. Kenny and Mrs. Chaves were in deep discussion by the front door. No one noticed when I started for the stairs, except Adam, who glanced up at me, then at his mom, before motioning me over with rapid hand movements.

I considered ignoring him. But I cast Mrs. Chaves and
Kenny a quick glance before hurrying over.

“Adam, I can’t—”

“Just hear me out,” he said in a low whisper. “I’m going to talk to Van about us.”

My heart had begun to gallop wildly at his words. I couldn’t dare bring myself to hope.
“What?”

He spared his mom another glance before lowering his voice even more. “
I like you, Kia.” His gaze was sharp, intense as he searched my eyes. “I’m not ready to let you go. I might never be. I don’t know. I only know that when I look at you.” He brushed the back of his fingertips over my cheek, sending tendrils of fire racing beneath my skin. “This is where I want to be. With you.”

I wanted to hit him. I wanted to kick him and punch him and
… I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to feel his arms around me.

“Damn it, Adam…” My fingers
curled into fists at my sides. “Don’t do this.”

He caught my hands, splayed open my fingers and threaded his through mine.
“Tell me you want me.”

My heart cracked dangerously in my chest. “Adam…”

“Do you want me?” he repeated.

“Yes! But—”

He pulled me deeper into the kitchen, away from prying eyes and kissed me fast and hard. “Then trust me. I’ll fix this.”

I had no choice but to accept.
He was already moving away, stepping around me and starting towards the front door. His dad glanced up when he approached and asked him something. Adam shook his head. It amazed me how he could be so collected when I felt like some rookie spy on her first undercover mission. The only difference was that I didn’t have training. I had no idea what I was supposed to do to act neutral. At the same time, I couldn’t help wondering when all the secret-keeping business would end. I’d been so sure it was behind me the afternoon I walked away from Adam at the school.

Whistler
Village was like walking into some picturesque town from a postcard. Between the crisp carpet of snow and the glittering lights strung everywhere, I felt like a little kid walking through a painting. Everything was soft and golden, and everyone was smiling. Even the air smelled magical, like cinnamon and cold. I’d been to Whistler on a few occasions, but it had never felt so dreamlike. But then, it might have had a lot to do with the fact that Adam was walking beside me, our shoulders occasionally bumping. It was romantic in a way I never thought I’d care about. I had to bottle the urge to thread my fingers through his.

On my other side, Nessie had her head bent over her phone. Her thumbs were moving quickly over the screen. I couldn’t see much, but I could make out just enough to know she was
texting someone. I figured it was Gary because she’d been texting for nearly an hour without break.

“
I think we need to stay together,” Mrs. Chaves said, adjusting the strap of her purse over her arm. “It’s crowded and I don’t want anyone getting lost.”

“But how do you expect us to shop for anything if we’re all together?” Nessie
pulled herself away long enough from texting to ask. “I think we should break into teams of two.” Her arm threaded through mine and I was dragged into her side.

Mrs. Chaves
opened her mouth to respond, but Adam cut her off.

“Van’
s right,” he said, giving a definitive nod.

Nessie blinked. “I am?”

Offering her a lopsided grin, Adam replied, “Shocking, isn’t it?” Ignoring her glare, he went on. “I think we should break into two groups. Kia and I will make one team. Kenny and Van can—”

“Hey, wait! Why do I have to go with
Kenny?” Nessie interrupted sharply.

“Easy
, freckles, or you might hurt my feelings,” Kenny muttered with a dry smirk. Nessie ignored him.

The phone in her hand dinged and she looked down at it. The illuminated screen lit up her face, emphasizing the slow inch of her brows folding together as she frowned.
Her blue eyes lifted and settled on me. There was doubt in them and suspicion, but more than that, there was betrayal.

“Ness?” I murmured, hating the anxious churning my stomach had started to do.

I have nothing to be guilty about. I have nothing to be guilty about
. I told myself again and again. And I didn’t. I had rebuffed all of Adam’s advances. I had pushed him away. So why did I feel like she knew something was up?

“What do you want to do?” she asked slowly, her voice barely a whisper. “Do you want to go with him?”

I did. I was ashamed of it, but I did. I also wanted to go with Nessie.

“We could all go together,” I offered, forcing a smile.

The look in her eyes only intensified. “But if you had to, Kia, who would pick? Me or Adam?”

I didn’t like the sound of that. I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t want to answer. I wanted to go home and crawl into bed.

“What kind of question is that?” Adam muttered. “I’m not asking her to elope with me. I even promise not to break her. I just thought that since you’re always complaining I never get you anything you want … Kia could help.”

If he had been trying to appease her, I didn’t think it worked. She continued to watch me, seemingly willing me to confess everything to her, but I didn’t know what.

“Fine,” she said at last, turning her gaze away. “Go with him.”

But I suddenly didn’t want to go with him. There was a catch in her voice, a finality I didn’t understand, like by going with Adam, I
would somehow disappoint her.

“Nessie, I—”

Adam draped an arm around my shoulders, ignoring me when I stiffened as he yanked me into his side. “I promise to bring her back in nearly the same condition.”

Nessie said nothing. Her eyes bore
d into her brother’s. Had it been possible, I was sure Adam would be dead if she could kill him with just the power of her mind.

I slipped out from beneath his arm and took a safe step away.
Yet, had I thought it would somehow make the situation better, Nessie’s nostrils flared. The muscles in her jaw bunched. She took one step forward and punched Adam in the chest with a force that made me wince. It barely seemed to affect Adam. But he did rub the spot, his expression baffled.

“What the hell?”

“I hate you!” she seethed.

“Vanessa!” She ignored her mother’s outraged cry.

“I will never forgive you. I swear it!” Her voice wavered. She spun on her heels and marched away before anyone could stop her.

“
Nessie!”

“We got her.” Mrs. Chaves put a hand on my arm when I started after Nessie. “I think we need to have a talk with her anyway.”

“But I—”

She squeezed my elbow. “Go enjoy the village. We’ll meet you guys back here in about three hours. Okay?”

With a last glance at Adam, she let me go and hurried after her daughter. Mr. Chaves followed, muttering about an all girls’ boarding school in Switzerland. I watched them go, feeling like I needed to be there with them for Nessie’s sake. But I knew I should let her parents handle it.

“So that was interesting,”
Kenny remarked once we were alone. “Your sister has a mean right hook. I almost saw you flinch.”

Adam glowered at him dryly. “
Shut up, Kenny.”

Kenny
slipped his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the cold fingers of snow sweeping around us with the wind. “So what was that about anyway?”

Adam shrugged. “
Who knows with her.”

“Well, something’s
clearly bothering her,” I said. “She was very upset. I’ve never seen her like that.”

Adam laughed. “That’s because you’ve only known her a month. I’ve known her for seventeen years. Trust me, this is normal.”

Three months, I wanted to say. Almost four. And true, I didn’t know everything about her, but I liked to think I knew enough.

“Well, you must have done something, because she punched you, mate,”
Kenny said.

Adam snorted. “The world could end
in a zombie apocalypse and she would blame me, okay? That’s what Vanessa does, she blames me. I know I’m not the greatest brother in the world, but seriously, I don’t have that kind of power.”

“Whatever it is, I think it’s safe to assume you are getting a giant lump of shit for Christmas.”
Kenny tugged harder on the zipper of his jacket and pulled the flaps up around his ears. “Can we go somewhere not here? I’m kind of freezing my buns off.”

“I think I’d like to find Nessie,” I said, peering in the direction she’d taken.
“I want to know if she’s all right.”

“Wherever she is, she’s with her parents getting a verbal beating and will probably not appreciate you being there to witness it,”
Kenny replied. “Trust me, it’s brutal once her dad gets into her.”

That only convinced me further that I needed to be there.

“He’s not that bad,” Adam defended shortly. “He’s just trying to do the right thing. It’s not like she’s some misunderstood kitten. She goes out of her way to piss them off.”

“That’s not true!” I protested.

Adam looked at me, one eyebrow raised. “Seriously?”