#Rev (GearShark #2) (15 page)

“Don’t you?” He pressed gently.

I sighed. “Have I thought about it? Hell yeah, but not because I think you’re ashamed. I think the unknown of people’s reactions is a heavy burden for you to bear. In some ways, it would be easier if we could walk into a room and not worry about how we looked at each other.”

“People are gonna see regardless,” he mused.

I smiled. “Yeah, probably. But I can back off, stay in the background of your career.”

“No.” His voice was hard and finite. “You’ve spent almost all the time I’ve known you in the background, T. You don’t belong there, and I’ll be damned if that’s where I put you.”

“What are you saying?” I asked, trying not to be totally won over by his burst of resolve.

“I want to live like I drive. Full throttle. I don’t want to back down. I don’t want to put my career above our relationship. I don’t want a line drawn between my life with you on one side and everything else on the other.”

“Tell me what you need, Drew. You’ll have it.” I kind of felt like I was walking a tight rope. Walking that line Drew mentioned he didn’t want to have. It was unsteady, and I was scared, but I had to keep my balance. I had to make it across.

“As determined as I am…” His voice faded away and his face turned down so I couldn’t look at him.

“You’re scared.” If he couldn’t say, I could. I knew what it was like to be scared. I knew what it was like when you weren’t supposed to be scared. My joke about Drew being a girl aside, we were both men, strong ones, ones who would never want to show weakness.

The truth was everyone in life was sometimes afraid. It was how one reacted to that fear that defined a person.

He nodded but didn’t look up.

The need to make the bubble Drew and I lived in a little bit bigger, a little more secure, grew tenfold. The distance between us was minimal. I grabbed him, not really caring if he was ready or not. Sometimes I liked to move slow with him, cautious so as not to scare him away.

But now wasn’t the time for that shit.

Now was the time for action. I knew what it was like to be scared and to fall into a black hole of not knowing how people would react to the way you felt inside. I didn’t want him to feel that. I knew it was likely inevitable—it was a natural almost automatic response to falling in love with your best friend—but he wasn’t alone.

He didn’t have to be alone.

His big body collided with mine, and I wound both arms around him to hold him close. My heart ached a little when his forehead hit my shoulder, like it was a relief I was offering to hold him up.

“You aren’t alone,” I whispered.

“Do you ever get scared?” he whispered back.

All the fucking time.
“Not when you’re beside me.”

“Liar,” he muttered.

I tried to suppress my laughter, but my body quaked with it, so I know he felt it, too.

“I’m coming to the meeting. I’m gonna be there at your parents’ house,” I told him.

His body, which was pliable in my arms, went rigid.

“Don’t bother,” I said, lazy, tightening my grip. “It’s not up for discussion. I don’t have to talk, but I will be there. I just said you aren’t alone, and I meant it.”

“What if he throws me out?” Although the words weren’t whispered, they were low, and they ripped from the deepest part of him. A part so deep I had no idea it even existed.

He gave me something else with those painful words. Something I didn’t even know was missing.

He was mine entirely now.

He might have given me his heart before, but it wasn’t just his heart I wanted.

I wanted the place I thought only I had inside me. That place that hid behind the heart. As tender as the heart was, this place was more so. A place so fragile only the heart could protect it.

He showed it to me.

Now it wasn’t just his heart that would protect it.

I would, too.

For all the fierceness that rose up inside me, I couldn’t lie. “I don’t know,” I replied and hugged him a little tighter.

The sharp grip of his fingertips pushed into my lower back, and I let him cling. It reminded me of all the times I tied a knot in the straw paper he always blew across the table at me.

Sometimes in life you had to tie a knot and hold on. I would be his knot.

Of all the obstacles Drew and I faced as men who’d fallen in love, the biggest hurdle for Drew was his father. I didn’t know what it was like to want to please someone so badly, because my dad had never been around.

It seemed like a lot of pressure to not only be who you were, but who everyone else wanted you to be.

Oh.

Maybe I did understand that better than I realized.

Drew shifted, but he didn’t pull away. His head turned to the side and his cheek rested against my shoulder. It wasn’t often I got to hold him. It wasn’t often he seemed to need this kind of reassurance.

Even though it was for reasons that were difficult, I relished in it. A light, almost giddy feeling somersaulted around inside me. It was still new between us, or maybe the chemistry was just so raw it would always be this way. A million butterflies knocked around inside my stomach, bouncing off the walls and making everything feel like an earthquake.

“You smell like leather,” I murmured, tucking in just a little closer. I had to get my feels in while I could get ‘em.

“You smell like home.”

Aanndd
holding him wasn’t enough anymore.

I wrenched away, his fingers dragged over my sides as I yanked and practically tossed his ass on the edge of the open engine. The hood was propped up just enough to allow his head room, and I lunged forward between his open knees to attack.

My fist twisted in the front of his T-shirt, bunching the fabric the way he bunched up my heart. My chest rumbled like a souped-up engine as my lips latched onto his.

He tasted like salt and French fries, his lips full and warm.

I licked deep, so deep his body swayed backward, but he wasn’t about to get away. I slammed my hand down on top of the engine to brace my weight while both his hands clamped around my shoulders.

If he were a snow drift, I’d be the plow. I wasn’t gentle, but really, I didn’t have to be. I kissed him like I always wanted to but never actually did.

I lost count of time, of the sound of the rain. Everything around me distorted down until the only thing in focus was the burning need to satiate the way he made me feel.

But kissing Drew was like drinking water from the sea. The more I drank, the thirstier I became.

So I kissed him endlessly; I devoured his mouth with relentless appetite.

There was no way a woman could withstand the potency of passion between us. We were like two forces of nature crashing together at unmatched speed. But Drew could. Speed was practically his specialty, and his strength matched my own.

I released the grip on his shirt, palmed his hip, and pulled him right up against me. Our centers met. His dick was stiff beneath his sweats, and the friction of it rubbing against my jeans made me shudder.

I wrenched my mouth away and pressed my lips together. My balls were drawn so tight up against my body I wanted to shove my hand down the front of my pants and massage them.

So careful. I’d always been painstakingly careful with Drew. Until now.

“I think I might be high,” Drew said, breathless, his body swaying a little.

I hid a smile. I was feeling a little high myself. “Too much?” I asked.

“More.” He scoffed. “I want more.”

I rubbed my thumb across his lower lip. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Just as I was about to suggest we take this inside, a sound snapped me back to reality, and reality brought an unwelcome guest.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

My head whipped up as Lorhaven stepped into view.

Drew

Panic hit me first.

It wasn’t my finest moment and I wasn’t proud. But I didn’t have control over my immediate reaction to a surprise.

It was so incredibly easy to feel secure with Trent. I didn’t even have to try.

So when Lorhaven stepped into view and no doubt saw how Trent and I were wrapped up in one another, I felt like a volcano I didn’t even know was active erupted inside me.

The panic was hot. It burned beneath my flesh; like lava, it wanted to cling to everything it touched, and I knew if I let it, then it would cool into cement and I’d never fully shake it free.

Fuck that.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Trent said. There wasn’t a trace of panic in his voice, only anger and annoyance.

He didn’t even indicate he wondered what Lorhaven saw. But I knew he was thinking about it, trying to read me without looking back. His body turned in the direction of our visitor, effectively blocking me from sight.

As much as I wanted to declare I didn’t need even just a second to recover, I did. I was grateful for a moment’s reprieve.

“After today, I thought I had an invite to drop by anytime I wanted. Maybe I should have called first?” Lorhaven quipped.

I straightened from the car. T was so close our bodies brushed together.

“After today?” Trent echoed.

I stepped around him, up to his side.

Lorhaven barely glanced at me before giving Trent all his attention once more. “What the fuck happened to your face?”

Trent crossed his arms over his chest. The acknowledgement of his battered appearance made me wonder about his ribs. I hadn’t even asked about them yet.

Trent ignored him entirely and swung to me. “What happened today?”

“I did some driving with Arrow,” I replied.

“And you thought that gave you an engraved invitation to our house?” Trent asked Lorhaven. I don’t think he even realized what he said, how he called this place
our
house.

But Lorhaven noticed. He smirked. “Where I come from, if I let you into my place, then your door is open as well.”

“Arrow took me where they keep their cars.” I explained a little further.

“You guys have your own garage?” Trent asked, curiosity winning over the anger. He didn’t like my rival, but information was always handy to have.

Lorhaven grunted. “It’s an airstrip. We have several hangars.”

“But you don’t
live
there.” Trent pointed out.

“Arrow does.”

And that explained the bed I saw in the back of the hangar. Damn. I’d been right.
That kid must be hella lonely.
I felt bad for leaving now.

“Your brother lives at an abandoned airstrip?” Trent scoffed.

“It’s not abandoned,” I answered, thinking of the security and the planes. I folded my arms over my chest. “Why does he live there?”

If their father had all the money I knew he did, why was his son living at a garage?

“What happened to his face?” Lorhaven ignored my question to ask his own.

“I decked him,” I lied.

Lorhaven looked between me and T. His stare was divided between scrutiny and interest. “Didn’t look like you were fighting when I got here. At least not the kind with fists.”

“You son of a bitch,” Trent growled and lunged forward. Within seconds, he had Lorhaven pinned against the wall, his forearm pressed right at his throat.

To my surprise, Lorhaven didn’t fight back. He let himself be restrained. Correction, he didn’t try to get out. Maybe he knew it would be a waste of energy. The power Trent was clearly pulsing with was no bluff. It was real, and he was pissed.

I had no doubt in any part of me that when T was finally pushed to the edge of that careful control he always imposed on himself, whoever was on the receiving end wouldn’t stand a chance.

Even so, Lorhaven didn’t know Trent like I did. He didn’t know the private fight he’d been battling since I met him. Lorhaven couldn’t possibly know just how dangerous Trent would be if pushed to protect the one thing he valued most.

Us.

Yet he still put up no fight.

Why?

“I don’t know what you think you saw…” Trent warned.

“I think we both know what I saw.” Lorhaven’s voice was strained, like the pressure on his windpipe was starting to wear him down.

“Trent…” I stepped forward.

“If you—” He began, not listening to me at all.

Lorhaven tried to smile, I think, but it was more of a grimace. His body shifted. The black leather jacket he wore scuffed against the wall. “I don’t care.”

Adrenaline was already pooling into my limbs, tingling my fingertips and readying my body in case I had to pry T off, but those words tripled my heart rate.

Did he mean what I thought he meant, or was it just wishful thinking? Was it me being so freaked that someone found out about us before we were ready to tell?

“Don’t you fuck with me,” Trent growled.

Lorhaven held out his hands like he was surrendering.

“T…” I recovered just enough to speak. “He’s not fighting you, frat boy. Step back and find out why.”

A funny feeling was starting to climb up the back of my neck. I wasn’t sure if it was intuition or just a rush from standing here at the ready.

Trent backed off with a huff, but he didn’t retreat very far.

“I underestimated your guard dog, Forrester,” Lorhaven said after he straightened off the wall. “I wish my brother were that lucky.”

Snap.

Just like that I understood.

I stared into Lorhaven’s eyes. “He does. Isn’t that why you’re here?”

“I thought he was wrong about you.” His head shook a little.

“Are you two speaking Japanese?” Trent cut in.

“Arrow’s gay, T,” I said, blunt.

Trent reacted physically, drawing back, surprise widening his hazel eyes. “No shit?”

Lorhaven nodded.

“He was hitting on me,” I whispered to myself. The questions, the offer to help me fix my car, bringing me back to his place… He was trying to feel me out.

“What!” Trent gasped.

“Down, boy,” Lorhaven pushed away from the wall and stepped back into the conversation, not threatened in the least Trent might lose his shit again. He gave T a look. “Your boy here is slow on the uptake just like you.”

I scowled. “I’ve never been hit on by a guy before.”

“So I’m assuming this is your first, uh, relationship with a man?” Lorhaven asked, glancing between me and Trent.

“How is that your business?” Trent snapped.

“We’re making it his business,” I said mildly. “Isn’t this what we were just talking about? Coming out?”

By the way? What the fuck kind of term is
coming out
?

Coming out from where? Hiding? The closet? La-La Land?

I never had to “come out” when I was dating a girl. I wasn’t hiding my relationship with Trent… Okay, fine. Maybe I was. But it was a defense mechanism.

Kinda pissed me off I had to be defensive for falling for my best friend.

I looked back at Lorhaven and nodded. Seemed like starting right here, right now and telling him what was between me and T was as good a place as any. Besides, Lorhaven was an asshole. Maybe his reaction would give me some practice for the rest of the world.

“Makes sense. That’s probably why I never pegged you as gay.”

“I’m not gay,” I said insufferably.

“You know what I mean,” he rebutted and rolled his eyes.

Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t be great practice because it really seemed he didn’t give two shits.

“So the Biebs is gay.” Trent mulled it over.

“Watch it,” Lorhaven growled.

“Like you don’t agree he totally looks like Justin Bieber.” Trent scoffed. “And you’re here because he’s into Drew.”

The black boots on Lorhaven’s feet planted a little more firmly into the concrete, his weight settling into an almost alert stance and his fingers flexing. This guy was a lot of things, but clearly, he was loyal to his brother.

And this was why his brother was loyal to him.

“He’s never brought anyone back to our place before,” he said, his voice a little vulnerable compared to his body language. I understood that paradox far better than he likely realized.

It was the way a man acted when he felt vulnerable but, even so, would fight to death to protect himself and anyone else he cared about.

Trent looked like that a lot.

Looking between the two now… Trent and Lorhaven had a lot in common.

“He’s young, he’s trying to figure shit out, and for some reason, he likes you.” He looked at me straight on.

“And you’re afraid I’m going to hurt him,” I surmised.

“It hasn’t always been easy for my brother. I came to warn you off.”

Trent made a sound. “You mean scare him off.”

Lorhaven shrugged like there was no difference between the two.

“And now?” Trent asked.

Lorhaven lifted an eyebrow.

“Now that you know about me and Drew?” He elaborated.

Lorhaven’s dark, intense gaze came back to me. “He said you gave him some pointers today. Worked with him on his driving.”

I shrugged. “A little. He’s a good driver. Seems like he really wants to learn.”

“I’ve always been into cars,” Lorhaven said. “It’s more recent for Arrow. Racing is an outlet for him. A place to channel his energy. It’s become a passion. I think it’s good for him.”

I understood that. There was nothing quite like the freedom of flying down an empty stretch of road.

“And Drew gives him a hard-on,” Trent said.

You know, if we were a bunch of women standing around, everyone would be all offended by that. Good thing we weren’t women.

“Pretty much.” Lorhaven shrugged. “He told me you left kind of abruptly today. He didn’t seem to think too much of it, but he always wants to believe in people.” He shook his head like the idea made him sad.

“You thought I figured out he was hitting on me and couldn’t get away fast enough.”

“Pretty much. There’s a lot of bigoted assholes out there.”

That’s what I was afraid of.

“Now you know you don’t have to worry about me or Trent making it hard on him. We get it,” I said.

His stance changed. It was like this invisible weight lifted off him. He looked between me and T again, studying us. “I’m guessing the bruises on your face and the reason your favoring your one side is because you’ve met some of those bigoted assholes.”

“Yeah,” Trent replied.

“Look, I know we have the whole rivalry thing going on…” Lorhaven motioned between me and him. “And you and I…” Lorhaven turned back to T. “Well, we kinda hate each other.”

“Why the hell do you hate each other?” I wondered out loud.

They both shrugged.

Unbelievable…

“That shit doesn’t have anything to do with this. This isn’t something I would use against you. There are some lines a man just doesn’t cross. You don’t have to worry about me. You have my support.”

“You support me and Drew,” Trent reiterated like he wanted to be sure.

Lorhaven nodded. “You gotta let people be who they are.”

“Your brother is lucky,” I said.

“No. He struggled for a while before I realized what was going on. I was caught up in my own life, my cars, women… but I know now, and I’m trying to make up for it.”

“You can’t make up for it,” Trent said nakedly. “But being there now counts.”

“It’s hard,” Lorhaven whispered. It was like Trent’s truth allowed him to speak his own.

“I know,” Trent replied.

Are they getting along? Bonding?

Was that a little bit of jealousy stirring in the depth of my belly?

“I’d like to maybe hang out with Arrow again,” I said. “If that’s okay with you?”