Restore Me (Book 2.5 Kin Series) (23 page)

“I know you won’t understand this, but I slept with him because I wanted the closure. I did it because I knew that there was something happening with us. Sleeping with Shayne had nothing to do with love. It was about saying goodbye to something that I’d held onto for too long.”
It still didn’t help hearing that she’d given herself to Shayne again. I hadn’t made it clear back then, but she belonged to me. I didn’t want to share her with anyone, especially him.

I wasn’t too convinced that fucking someone goodbye was the way to end things
. “Are goodbye fucks somethin’ that normal couples do?”

She
shrugged. “It was a mistake.”

I grabbed a towel and put it between her legs, to clean off the mess we’d made
. It satisfied me to no end that she’d let me fuck her without protection. I’d never done that, never having felt enough for my partner to be that intimate. “You’re here now.”

She reached up and touched my lips with her fingers. I kissed them while keeping my eyes on hers.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you. If I would have known how you really felt, I never would have touched him again. I swear I wouldn’t.”

“Lacey, Shayne still wants you, that’s no secret. If you gave him another chance…”

She pressed her hand over my mouth to prevent me from continuing. “Shh, it’s never going to happen.”

We got more comfortable, laying on our sides and facing each other. “I’m goin’ to fuck up at some point, because I’ve got no idea how to be in a relationship.”

“You’re doing great.” She was starting to slur her words as she fell asleep.

I didn’t know if she could even hear me as he
r breathing had already changed like she was sleeping.

“I’m so in love with you,”
I whispered against her ear.

Chapter 26

It took me a long time to fall asleep. Just having her there in my arms still didn’t feel like it was really happening. Perhaps the newness of committing myself was getting to me. I wanted to make her happy, so that I could wake up to her every day. It was hard figuring out how to not mess things up.

I kept her tight in my arms, smelling her hair as I played with it between my fingers. I wondered what she’d had to do to find me and knew she must have gone to my mother. That also meant that she’d known mine and Shayne’s Lacey was one in the same. Knowing she was in my bed led me to believe that she hadn’t said anything harsh to her. I think my mother was probably just happy that I’d finally stopped being a selfish prick about women. She’d always warned me about getting my heart broken, but as I got older she’d wanted the best for me.

I think I was happy for so long because I didn’t know what I was missing. My assumptions of love being some form of punishment that always ended badly. I never understood that when you fall, nothing else matters but being with that person for as long as you can. I certainly never saw myself wanting one woman, but Lacey had changed that opinion. She’d made me see that the right person could make all the difference.

Then I thought about Gia, and how I’d almost slept with her. My stomach knotted up imagining getting myself fired because of something so stupid. I was desperate to forget about my feelings for Lacey, even if it would have been temporary. Her being in my arms showed me how much harder it would have been to be intimate with someone else. No matter how attractive they were, they’d never be her. They’d never smell like her, or touch me the way she did.

When I finally fell asleep, after nearly an hour of deep thought, I knew I wasn’t ever going to let Lacey go. No matter what I had to change, she was worth it.

I woke up before Lacey and played with her hair. She opened her eyes and smiled back at me.

I kissed her on the cheek.
“How long can you stay?”

She sat up on her elbow and looked over at me
. I loved seeing her with bed head and reminding myself how it had gotten so messed up.

“I didn’t think that
far ahead,” She admitted.

“Well, now that you’re here, how long can you stay with me?”
I wanted an immediate answer, because thinking about her leaving was already making me crazy. I knew I couldn’t expect her to never go home, but I wanted her to stay for as long as possible.

“Not long. My parents will flip when they find out that I ditched school to leave the country.”
I was shocked that she hadn’t told them. Obviously, she’d come to find me spur of the moment.

“Lace, what if you stayed here with me? We could travel on my off days and not worry about anyone tryin’ to come between us.”
She was an adult. Surely, she’d want to see the country before going home.

“I came
here to get you to come home. Everyone misses you. We can be together now.”

The smile on my face faded. She wanted to be with me, but only if I came home with her.

“It’s not that simple. This job wasn’t just about me runnin’ away. Sure, if I would have known that you’d be with me, I wouldn’t have accepted the offer, but the truth is, I applied for this position last year. When a spot opened, I knew it was an opportunity of a lifetime. Walkin’ away from this could end my career. Do you know how many chefs get this kind of break?”

Lacey immediately started to cry. I don’t know what she expected from me, but I couldn’t just hop on a plane and give up something I’d worked so hard for.
“I don’t understand. You said you wanted to be with me.”

“I do.”
Didn’t she understand how much?

“I can’t live here, Joey. I can’t leave my whole life and drop out of school.”

I stood up and looked down at the bed. Lacey was just sitting there sniffling, waiting for me to answer her. I didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to live with me in Italy and I didn’t want to go home.

Then she began to sob.

“I can’t leave, Lacey. I’m sorry. I know you must hate me, but this is what I’ve wanted my whole life. I’m not askin’ you to live here forever. It’s just for six months to a year.” I reached for her hands and kneeled in front of her. “Just consider it. Things would be so much easier if you were here with me. I’m so fuckin’ lonely and the thought of you goin’ home will drive me nuts.”

“It’s not that simple. I have to finish school. My parents don’t even know I’m here. They won’t understand, because I never told them about you. I’m so sorry.”

I looked down at the sheets. “I understand. It sucks, but I understand.” It fucking hurt knowing this wasn’t going to work.

Lacey grabbed my hands and I looked right at her.
“If I could, I’d stay here with you, in this bed for as long as possible. You and I both know we have obligations. We can’t drop our lives and not regret it at some point.”

“I know. What do we do now? Do we spend the next couple days fallin’ deeper for each other and then act like everythin’s okay when you have to go home?”
I was wondering if I should take back wanting to be in love. It was already showing it’s ugly side.

“We can have a long-distance relationship.”

I shook my head, knowing damn well I wasn’t okay with her being in another country. “I don’t even know what that is, Lace. You’re askin’ me to pour my heart out to you every night, when I can’t be with you physically? What kind of relationship is that?”

“People do it all the time, “
she argued.

I ran my hands through my
hair and thought of what to say without pissing her off. “It’s stupid. It’s worse than not bein’ together at all. I don’t want to worry about you bein’ so far away. I don’t want to hear your voice on the phone and miss you like crazy.” I threw my arms up. “I don’t want to feel like this!”

Lacey sobbed, so terribly that I couldn’t help but want to comfort her. I sat down beside her and placed my hand on her leg.
“Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it. I want this with you. No other man has ever made me feel the way that you do. You’re acting like you’d rather walk away from this, than try to make things work. My heart is breaking. I came all this way for you, because I loved you so much that I was willing to cross the ocean to bring you home to me. Now, you tell me that can’t happen. How am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to look you in the eyes when I know that we have to say goodbye to each other? I’m sorry, Joey. I’m not like you. I can’t do it without hurting.”

I climbed back under the covers next to Lacey, pulled her close to me and then covered my face with my hands. Reality was a bitch when it was pulling us apart before we had the opportunity to build our relationship.

For a little while, neither of us said anything to each other. It was difficult to be in the same room, so close to each other, with nothing reassuring to say.

Lacey finally got up and went to get a shower. Maybe I should have followed her and told her I’d do whatever it took to make things work. I know I’d said that I couldn’t do long distance, but I sure as hell wasn’t willing to give her up without trying.

My job wasn’t permanent. I’d be home eventually. If we could make it work until then, we’d be golden.

I was in love with Lacey and watching her give up on me was never going to be an option.

Since I had to be to work in the next several hours, I knew I had to reassure Lacey. When she climbed back into my bed, I didn’t know what to say. She was still crying and the only thing I could do was hold her.

After a while, I knew I had to get up and shower. Lacey never joined me and I didn’t think anything of it since she’d already gotten one. While I stood there, letting the hot water fall over my body, I thought of every option I could to make things work between us.

I planned everything out in my head. After work, I’d give Lacey the best night of her life. We’d talk about everything and smooth things out, so that when she did have to go, she’d know that I wasn’t going to give up. If she wanted the long distance thing, I’d give it to her. I’d talk to her every single day, as many times as she wanted, provided that it helped us stay connected while being thousands of miles apart.

To reassure that we were on the same page, I sat down on the couch next to Lacey after dressing for work. She’d calmed down a little and I felt like we were on the same page without having to explain it.

“I’ll be back in time to take you out for dinner. Promise me, you’ll still be here.”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

When I walked out of my apartment I felt confidant that things were going to fall into place.
I could play out our future in my head and it made me happy. Lacey would show me how to be the man she needed and I was prepared to change for her and for us.

Chapter 27

It was nice to walk into work and not see Gia. My boss was there arguing with someone on the phone in both English and Italian. He waved when he saw me
, but I kept on walking trying to ignore his personal business.

Every shift had a to-d
o list, so I walked over and took notes of what needed to be done and got right to work. Like every day, he only stuck around for a few hours before leaving. I appreciated that he trusted me to run things, but also hated knowing that Gia would be in to oversee what was going on.

She came in an hour after he’d left and I could tell that she wanted to know all about the blonde that had taken her chance away. While getting some dough out of the walk-in, she came in and let the door shut behind us. “Joey, why did you send me away last night? I thought you wanted to be with me?”

I attempted to walk by her, she blocked me. “I need to get these in the oven.”

Gia shook her head, grabbed the tray out of my hand and sat it on the shelf. She pressed me hard against the other side wall. “I don’t like it when you pretend that you don’t want me.”

She didn’t understand that I wasn’t pretending. Her hand grabbed my cock, which was a bit sore from fucking Lacey so many times the night before. I grabbed her hand and removed it from my pants. “I’m not pretendin’. Last night was a mistake. It’s never goin’ to happen.”

She pressed her body against mine and brought her knee up to brush it between my legs. I felt it making contact with my dick and it was beginning to piss me off. “Tell me that you don’t want me.” She reached her hand down her pants and started rubbing herself. “You make me so horny. I want you to fuck me, right now.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and thought about Lacey being at my place waiting for me. Gia was gorgeous and I knew I could give her what she wanted without anyone finding out. After considering it for a second, I used force and pushed her out of the way. “I don’t want you and if you don’t back the fuck off of me, I’m tellin’ your husband what you do to his employees when he ain’t around.”

I grabbed the tray and got the hell out of there.

When she came out she looked pissed. Obviously, Gia wasn’t used to people rejecting her. I knew she was finished trying to get to me, so I acted like I wasn’t feeling well and left early.

I was so excited to get back to Lacey and talk about our future. On the way, I stopped and got her some flowers that I knew would cheer her up. After all, it was the little things that she really enjoyed.