Resistance (33 page)

I make myself as small as I can and slowly slide my
leg out from under Flint’s. Next, I work on maneuvering myself out
from under his arm. After a few moments of small shifts and sliding
I feel ridiculous, and I’m half convinced he’s feigning sleep and
enjoying my struggle. I slide the last few inches away from his
body and his arm drops with a small thump to the mattress. He
doesn’t move or make a sound and I sigh, then slowly ease the rest
of the way out of my bed. Part of me would like to bolt into the
hallway in the camisole and boxer shorts I slept in, just to be
sure I don’t wake the man still asleep in my bed. However the
rational part of my brain makes me cross to my dresser and pull a
random tee shirt out of a drawer.

I have the shirt halfway over my head when I hear
Flint’s sleep roughened voice. “You do realize the sun hasn’t even
had its morning coffee at this hour, right?” I can’t help but jump
in surprise.

“I’m sorry! Go back to sleep if you like. I didn’t
mean to wake you. I’m always up early.” I stop before I can start
to really ramble and take a step towards the door. So close to
escaping…

“Oh, there will be no sleep now, love.” He grins and
stretches; sighing before sitting up. “I’m up, I need caffeine.”
The fine reddish-blond hair on his bare chest catches the sunlight
coming in through the window and holds my attention for a beat too
long. I tear my gaze away and meet warm, amber eyes filled with
humor and affection, and I feel myself grinning despite my
embarrassment at being caught ogling him.

I have never wanted to return to my bed so
desperately before but I mentally shake myself and say “Well then
you should follow me, coffee is this way…” while backing away from
my bed and towards the door.

He grins at me. “I’ll meet you out there in a
minute.”

I nod and head to the kitchen to get the coffee
started. I’m leaning against the counter with what I’m certain is a
sappy grin on my face when I hear Flint approaching and turn to
him. “How are you so happy this early?” he asks me.

“I’m not always,” I say with a laugh. “I actually
feel rested today, though. I haven’t slept that well in months.” I
smile at him. “Thank you for last night.”

“Don’t mention it. It was my pleasure,” he says;
rubbing his eyes and taking a seat at the kitchen table. He looks
like he might say something else but yawns instead.

I don’t talk about my dreams with anyone, but I know
Flint won’t think I’m weak and find myself opening up. “I have bad
dreams most nights. Normally there’s no going back to sleep for me,
and I just get up and go for my run.” I pour the coffee and hand
him his mug. “I’m sorry I woke you last night.”

He frowns at my words before nodding his thanks for
the coffee. “You can always come talk to me if you have to.
Whatever time of the morning.”

I smile at his kindness and look towards the window
before I do something ridiculous like tell him I love him. The sky
outside is a beautiful shade of blue, and there isn’t a cloud to be
found. I look back and see him gulping the scalding coffee as if
his life depends on it and I grin. “Would you like to sit outside
with me for a while?”

“That sounds nice.” He follows me out the back door
and waits to sit until I settle myself on one of the patio chairs.
He’s studying my face and looking concerned, and I quirk an eyebrow
at him in question. “You have these dreams every single night?”

I consider his question and I’m stunned to realize I
didn’t start having nightmares on a regular basis until my parents
left the city. I meet his eyes and answer, “Yes, since my parents
left, I have them every night.” I’ve been so busy trying to get
through each day as it comes, that I haven’t even realized the
effect all the stress and worry have had on me.

Not surprisingly, a look of understanding passes over
Flint’s face and he squeezes my shoulder. “Like I said...if you
ever need to talk, just come find me.”

I surprise myself by saying, “Maybe I will.”

A few minutes later, Flint and I are sitting in
companionable silence when I hear rustling and look over to see
Sean sneaking around the side of the house. I grit my teeth to hold
in an angry shout, and my good mood evaporates with his appearance.
He looks up and sees us sitting on the patio and his face goes
blank. I open my mouth to speak, but Flint beats me to it. “It’s
too early to deal with you right now.”

“I thought I was pretty clear with you last night
that I didn’t want to see you here anymore, Sean,” I say, trying to
keep calm. I can see him trying to gauge what emotion to portray to
get the result he wants from me, and I feel my temper spike as I
wonder how long he’s been playing me.

“I wanted to apologize to Eirnin and to you,” he
tries, going for sheepish and repentant. I start shaking my head
before he even finishes his sentence.

“That isn’t going to work, Sean. How about you try
the truth for once?” I say, tired of playing this game with him. He
tries to look confused for a moment and then settles with scowling.
“I told you I don’t want you here. So let’s try again. Why are you
here?” I say.

“Of course you don't. You don't care what happens to
any of us anymore. Your only concern lately is for yourself!" he
says; glaring at me openly.

Flint looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him. “Sean,
I’m only going to warn you one time — Go. Home. Now.”

Sean’s face is purple with anger and his fists are
clenched at his sides as he snipes back, "Who the hell do you think
you are? I don't take orders from the likes of you! You don't even
belong here!"

“You are such a piece of shit,” says Flint, glaring
up into Sean’s face. “If anyone doesn’t belong here it’s you, with
your constant disrespect and idiotic behavior.”

Sean takes a step towards Flint but stops, possibly
remembering Flint’s affinity for fire. "I don't owe you any kind of
respect, faery. She might not know where her loyalties lie, but I
do. And she won't always be here to protect you by sending me
away."

“I didn’t ask you to respect me, you lout. I was
referring to taking Fianna, your leader, seriously every once in a
damn while.” He stands up, visibly sick of leaning back to look up
at Sean. “But while we’re on the topic, where do your loyalties
lie? Because it’s pretty obvious they’re not with her.” I get up to
put a hand on Flint’s arm and step between the two men.

Looking at Sean’s angry face, I realize I am done
with being patient and making excuses for his prejudice. I don’t
honestly care if I ever see him again. Keeping my voice steady and
calm, I say, “You need to go now, and I'm not kidding when I tell
you that I don't ever want you around this house again. If you
weren't my blood I would exile you now and not regret it. You won’t
get another warning. Get out of here now.”

“Stupid bitch,” Sean mutters. “You will regret this.”
And then he disappears back the way he came.

“I thought he’d never leave,” Flint says, but there
is no smirk, just a lot of anger in his voice. I look up at him and
decide it might be time to go back indoors now.

“I want to check on the kids,” I say without
thinking, and see Flint grin at my choice of words.

“You do realize Lumi is centuries old, even though
she only appears to be fifteen?”

“I do know,” I say, blushing. “I can’t help thinking
of her that way, though.”

Smirk firmly in place now, Flint propels me toward
the back door with his hand on the small of my back saying, “Now
you, of all people, should know better than that, love.”

Once we get back in the house, Flint goes to get
changed while I prepare breakfast for everyone. He comes back into
the kitchen in time to see me struggling with a tray laden with
bacon, eggs, coffee, juice and more of Ruth’s muffins and takes it
from me effortlessly asking, "What — are we feeding the entire city
this morning?"

“It’s for Eir and Lumi…and us. Have you seen my
brother eat before?” I ask him with a grin.

“I’ve only seen him pick at a muffin.” He chuckles.
“But being that tall, I should have figured he didn’t eat like a
bird.”

“No, he certainly does not,” I say, still grinning.
“Could you take that up to Lumi’s room for me? I need to clean up
and get changed.”

“I think you look fine the way you are, love, but
I’ll bring it up for you,” he says, and winks at me. I grin at him,
feeling a blush spread across my face, and head into my
bedroom.

When I reach Lumi’s room there is already a breakfast
picnic underway on the bed, and I lean in the doorway, grinning for
a moment just taking in the scene. Eir and Lumi are sitting side by
side up by the headboard with their shoulders touching, eating off
each other’s plates and laughing. I cannot ever remember seeing my
brother so happy before. This Winter princess is definitely
something special.

Flint is lying on his side across the foot of the
bed, eating and watching the duo opposite him with a bemused
expression on his face. I look on fondly without them noticing and
realize that when I think of family, these are the people who
spring to my mind now. And then Flint surprises me by tilting his
head back, catching my eyes with his and saying, “Don’t lurk in the
doorway, love. Get in here and eat before your brother devours all
the food.”

I laugh and go to join them on the bed; situating
myself by Flint’s feet. I pick a piece of bacon up off the tray in
the middle of the bed and chew as I listen to their easy banter and
try not to stare at Flint. My eyes seem to be linked to him by some
sort of magnetic force, and I watch as he teases Lumi
good-naturedly and laughs with Eir. I am powerless to deny what I’m
feeling for him. How did I miss this for so long? Could I really be
that oblivious to my own feelings? I shake myself a little to break
the spell and prepare to ruin this perfect morning for my
brother.

“I had a thought,” I start when there is a lull in
the conversation. Flint seems to note the shift in my tone and
looks more alert, but Eir is in a happy daze and only nods, so I
continue. “I’m worried Sean is going to try something.” I pause and
look up to gauge their reactions and find Lumi looking scared and
pale, but Eir doesn’t look surprised. “You aren’t going to like
this, Eir, but from now on when you leave the house, you’re going
to have two guards, just to be safe. And I’m putting another on the
house all the time and someone else to stand guard inside, to be
sure Lumi is protected as well. And Aodhan will be back later on,
of course. I hope you understand I just want you guys to be safe.”
I meet both their eyes, and see Lumi swallow and nod to let me know
she understands.

“I get it, Fi,” Eir says. “I won’t give you any
trouble. On one condition, that is…” I look at him and nod,
surprised. “You have to take a guard with you too. Everywhere — no
exceptions. Flint told us what Sean said earlier, and I think he’s
gunning for you. You didn’t fall in line like he was hoping. No
more morning runs with just your daggers for protection. I know you
can protect yourself, but I’d prefer it if you had backup anyway,”
he says. How can I argue, with the added restrictions I’ve just
placed on him?

“Okay,” I say, nodding. “That sounds fair to me. I
promise I won’t go off alone anymore if you won’t.”

“It’s a deal,” Eir says and holds my gaze, and I feel
a weight lift from my shoulders. Something tells me this new
accepting attitude might have something to do with the porcelain
featured girl with the midnight blue eyes sitting at his side, and
I hide a grin in my coffee cup. I am surprised all over again at
how natural it feels to be sitting here with these two faeries and
my brother, like this is how it’s meant to be. Before I start
getting verbally sentimental with them all, I make myself stand up
from the bed with the much lighter tray.

“I’m going to get this mess taken care of. Flint,
would you mind sitting with these two until Aodhan shows up
later?”

He studies my face for a moment and nods. “Of
course.” I smile, murmur my thanks and flee the room before I make
a fool of myself.

After cleaning the kitchen and the dishes from
breakfast, I realize I have a rare day with nothing planned ahead
of me. I wonder if maybe I should do the laundry that’s piling up
in the house, or do some baking so Ruth doesn’t feel like she has
to keep tabs on us. Sitting at the table with my fourth cup of
coffee of the day, I examine and discard both options. I feel like
I should be doing something — anything, really — to find the
answers we need to free humanity from faery rule. And to be
completely honest, I’m not the best baker in the world. There is no
reason to subject anyone to my baking if they aren’t being punished
for something. I decide my best course of action is to head to the
library and keep looking for Gran’s journals. According to Lumi’s
information, they may just hold the key to freedom for
humanity.

I also need a distraction from the information Lumi
imparted last evening. I’m nowhere near ready to let myself ponder
that yet. The knowledge that I was on the estate where my father is
being held and left him there to rot in a hole is killing me. I
seem to find new and more horrible ways to let him down all the
time. Guilt oozes through me when I realize I didn’t even think to
ask Lumi about my mother. Surely if my father was there she had to
be as well….right? I make myself stop before I can start
hyperventilating thinking of all the possibilities, and head up the
stairs to the library where I can be calm and forget about
everything else for a little while.

I don’t know how many hours I spend rifling through
boxes in the library closet, but all I find are a handful of my
father’s journals and old photo albums that I set aside to bring
back to my room. My shoulders and hips ache from sitting on the
floor, I’m dusty, sweaty and exhausted, and there are still at
least twenty boxes in the closet to go through. Looking out one of
the windows I see the moon is high in the sky, and it might have
actually cooled down a bit from this morning. Suddenly all I want
is to be outdoors running. I could use the clarity that comes with
pushing my body to its physical limits.