Rescue My Heart (33 page)

Derek opened his mouth but paused when a gale of wind battered at the windows. He glanced at them uneasily. “I’ve never seen wind like this.”

“Yes, well, welcome to winter in the Bitterroots.”

He eyed the open-beamed ceiling above them as if
worried the entire thing was about to come down on them. “Are we safe here?”

“If I say no, will you leave?”

He made a sound of regret. “I’m sorry, Holly. So damn sorry.” Born and raised in Texas before he’d remade himself into New York suave, he let the drawl drip into his voice now. “I was such an ass. Please say you’ll come back to me. Say you’ll be mine again.”

“I haven’t been yours in years.” She shook her head. “And this doesn’t make any sense to me, your sudden play at the doting husband. What’s really going on here?”

“We were good together.” He moved toward her, turning on the bedroom eyes. “Don’t you remember?”

“I do remember,” she agreed. “I remember being very happy with you, all the way up until the day your cute little fall-semester TA came to the door, sobbing that you’d broken her heart the night before when you’d left her for your brand-new cute little spring-semester TA.”

He sighed. “Well, if you’re going to hold a grudge.”

Another gust of wind rattled the windows, and Holly shook her head. “You’re on the sixty-second countdown, Derek. Get to your point.”

“Okay,” he said, dropping the good-old-boy act as he came toe-to-toe with her, holding his hands out as if entreating her to really hear him. “I screwed up. I did. But I can make it right.”

“No, you can’t,” she said, backing up into the counter. He was too close, making her feel claustrophobic in the dark kitchen, with only the flickering candles for light.

“Don’t,” he said softly, not giving her the space she needed. “Don’t push me away. We can work all this out, babe. I know I let you down, but I can be the right man. I can be whatever you need. Did you like the flowers I’ve sent?”

She went still. “They were from you?”

“Well, of course. Who did you think?”

Holly let out a low laugh, shaking her head at her own stupidity as she rubbed her temples.

He pulled her hands from her face. “We can do this, Holly. We can make this work. Just come back with me.”

Yanking her hands free, she pushed him. “What’s with this sudden need to have me back in New York? What aren’t you telling me?”

Something shifted in his eyes. Something that looked suspiciously like guilt.

“Dammit, Derek. Just tell me. Tell me why after years of not giving a shit, you’re suddenly sending flowers, spending money to appeal the divorce, flying across the country to see me.”

He looked at her for a long moment, then let out a long breath. “Okay, fine. Apparently some word of my…indiscretions has leaked out.”

She crossed her arms. “And?”

“And it’s distinctly frowned on for a professor to sleep with his TA.”

“Imagine that.”

“Hey,” he said stiffly. “It’s not like I’m sleeping with my actual students. They’re TAs. And they come on to me.”

“Uh-huh. And now your reputation’s on the line.”

He opened his mouth but was interrupted by a knock at the door. She made a move to go get it, but Derek stepped into her, blocking her between him and the counter. “Let it go,” he said. “We’re not done.”

“Oh, we’re done.” Holly tried to shove past him, but he held her trapped.

“I need you, Holly.”

“No, you need someone to put the illusion back together so you can fix your precious reputation. That’s not going to be me, Derek. Surely you know that.”

“It has to be you.” He tightened his grip on her. “I told the review board that we were reconciling.”

This momentarily shocked her into immobility. “Oh my God. You have a
case
? You’re in
that
much trouble?”

“You have to fix this for me,” he said, the façade dropped, replaced with sheer desperation.

The knock came again. Again, she moved to go but Derek pushed her against the countertop, which bit into her back. “Holly—”

“Get your hands off me,” she said tightly. “Now.”

Instead, he dipped his head, nuzzling at her neck. “We can make this work if we want it enough.”

This was true—anything could work if it was wanted enough. Look at her dad and Deanna. Or Kate, going after her own happiness. Even Adam knew how to make things work for him, and she’d been wrong to push for more just because that was what
she
wanted. “You’re right Derek, but I don’t want it, not with you.”

“Holly—”

“No, Derek. I don’t love you. You can’t make someone love you the way you want to be loved, no matter how badly you want it to be so. Trust me, I know.”

He stared at her. “There’s someone else. You love someone else.”

“Yes, I love someone else. And to be honest, I always have.” Again, she shoved at him, but he couldn’t be budged. His fingers were digging into her arms hard enough to leave bruises and the counter was hurting her, and for the first time, she began to get scared. “Let me go, Derek.”

“No. You’re mine.”

Wrong. So wrong. Furious at him, at the situation, she simply reacted—with her knee to his crotch, dropping him to the ground like a sack of wet concrete. Holly whirled to run out of the kitchen and gasped.

Adam stood in the doorway, soaked to the skin, eyes hard and cold, body tense. Milo was at his side, alert, his fur standing straight up at his neck, eyes on Derek.

But it was what was in Adam’s hands that caught Holly’s attention—a bouquet of wildflowers. They were dripping water like he was, a wonderfully brilliant rainbow of colors that were so beautiful it only further infuriated her because it mocked romance. It mocked her divorce. It mocked everything she was feeling in that moment, which explained her juvenile reaction. She snatched the bouquet from Adam’s hands and whirled on Derek. “Are you kidding me? More stupid flowers? What is this, a bad romantic comedy?” She threw the bouquet at Derek’s feet and stomped on them.

“I…didn’t send those,” Derek said through clenched teeth, still cupping his family jewels.

Oh God. Holly turned back to Adam.

“You okay?” he asked, voice low and calm enough to get past the adrenaline rushing her system.

Was she okay? Her answer depended entirely on how long he’d been standing there and what he’d heard. Her mind raced backward, trying to remember exactly what she’d said.
You can’t make someone love you the way you want to be loved…Trust me, I know…I love someone else. And to be honest, I always have…

Oh God. She had to figure by the light of barely banked anger in Adam’s eyes that he’d heard it all, every bit of her dirty little secret. Embarrassed, horrified, she kept moving, grabbing her purse, leaving both men in the kitchen as she made for the door.

She ran out into the night, into the rain. It didn’t seem so bad now. Or maybe that was just compared to the storm brewing inside the kitchen. She thought she heard Adam call her name, but she kept going. She jumped into her Jeep, slamming and locking the door as she pulled out of the driveway. She was on the street before it occurred to her that leaving Derek and Adam alone might not be such a smart idea.

She didn’t care. She turned her concentration to the road because the night was pitch-black. No city lights, no streetlights, nothing but the slick roads.

And the wind beating at her Jeep.

The rain seemed to amp up now, viciously slashing at the windshield, and she began to doubt her sanity for leaving the relative safety of her house. She debated turning around, but at this point Kate’s place was just as close. If she was home…Since the last thing Holly wanted to do was be the stupid chick who drove off the road trying to get to her phone, she pulled over to fumble through her purse. When her fingers closed around it, she made a sound of relief that was short-lived.

Low battery.

Damn stupid smartphone, with only enough battery to get her three-quarters through a normal day. What the hell was wrong with technology? “Please work,” she said, and hit Kate’s number, sagging with relief when she answered. “Hey, you’re home.”

“Yeah, got a sick brother acting like a baby.”

“How does an ice-cream pity party sound?”

“Perfect,” Kate said. “On a night like this, we need something hot to go with it. I’ll heat the fudge. Be care—”

The phone died. Holly tossed it aside and carefully pulled back onto the road. The
isolated
road, with no other cars in sight.

Driving straight into a storm.

Seemed she was the stupid chick, after all.

The road was slick, the water flowing across it in sheets now, past the rails on her right, down the embankment to the river rushing below. She slowed down, way down, not wanting to be a statistic. It happened out here all the time. The people of Sunshine were a hardy bunch, but they also thought they were invincible.

She did
not
think she was invincible. She had a healthy sense of preservation and a will to live for that ice-cream
pity party with Kate, so she slowed down even more. She crossed the bridge—the one that washed out every few years at flood time—and gulped in relief when she got over it. Another gust of wind hit and she fought the steering wheel as she headed into the next hairpin turn. In spite of her low speed, the Jeep slid, and both right tires rolled off the edge of the asphalt. She jerked on the wheel but her tires didn’t respond. Adam’s words flashed in her head.

Steer into the slide…

She could hear him plain as day in that low, authoritative voice. But before she could do that, there was a loud POP—her tire, she thought—and her Jeep hit the railing. The railing broke. She screamed as she went airborne off the ice-slicked surface and over the embankment.

A
dam heard the front door slam signifying Holly’s departure, and it galvanized him into action. He strode across the kitchen floor and squatted before the man curled in a ball on the tile floor, still clutching his gonads. “Derek?”

The guy wheezed and nodded.

“You all right?” Adam asked.

Derek let out a shuddery breath. “I think so.”

“That’s too bad.”

Derek’s eyes flew to Adam’s face. “Who the fuck are you?”

Adam was tempted to say “your worst fucking nightmare,” but he didn’t want to sound like a bad movie line. “You touch her?”

“She’s my wife.”

Adam grabbed Derek by the front of his shirt and pulled him up, possibly banging the back of his head on the cabinet just a little bit.

“Hey, man, watch it.”

Adam did it again, harder.

“Ow, Jesus! What’s your problem?”

“You,” Adam said. “You’re my problem. You’re still worked up over the divorce?”

“Yes.”

“Wrong answer.”

“You threatening me?” Derek asked.

Adam got a little closer, and this time when Derek’s head banged into the cabinet, it was his own doing as he tried to move back.

“You’re the guy,” Derek said slowly. “The one she loves.”

Against all odds and disbelief, yeah. He was. He’d never been worthy of that love, but he was going to work on that.

“Did you know she was coming off a long-term relationship when you took up with her?” Derek asked.

Adam purposely took his hands off Derek so he wouldn’t be tempted to strangle him. “You want to talk? Let’s talk about what a college professor was doing hooking up with a vulnerable nineteen-year-old.”

Derek swallowed but didn’t look away.

“Drop the appeal,” Adam said. He rose and headed for the door.

The storm had intensified, but he was already drenched, anyway. He started toward his truck.

Holly was long gone already. Not surprising. He’d seen her expression when she’d turned to him. Embarrassment, and hurt, which killed him. He pulled out his cell and called her, but he went right to voice mail.

He had no idea where to look for her. He called Dell. “Where would a really pissed-off woman go?”

“You’re asking me?”

“You’re with Jade, and I figure you piss her off daily, so yeah, I’m asking you.”

Dell let out a breath. “Jade wouldn’t go anywhere—she’d stay and kick my ass.”

“Not helping.”

“Holly, right?”

“No, the Tooth Fairy.”

Dell laughed softly. “Okay, so you pissed her off and she stormed out. Give her some space. Then grovel. She’s a hell of a good woman, and she’s worth a little time on your knees.”

Adam hung up. Fuck space. He’d given her enough space over the years. He was done with space.

But most of all, he was done holding back how he felt about her. He’d long ago learned to shelve his emotions, long before he met her, in fact. No amount of training could have prepared him for her, and no one could have told him that he would be brought to his knees by a woman.

But that’s what she’d done, brought him straight to his knees.

He’d always told himself that there was a better man for her, and that man wasn’t him. Even though deep down inside he’d wanted to believe that he was the only man for her.

She’d believed it all along, and he finally believed it, too.

All he had to do was find her and tell her he’d caught up. He told himself this, knowing it wasn’t going to be that simple, nothing with her ever was. He drove out into the storm, figuring he’d take the only road into town and wing it once he got there.