Rescue Me (a quirky romance novel about secrets, forgiveness and falling in love) (26 page)

"I can't stop worrying about either of you," she said.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What happened between you and the baby's father?"

She swallowed a lump in her throat, the one that blocked her windpipe every time she thought of that time.

He pulled her hand, tugging her away from the water. She slipped her hand from his and sat in the sand, digging feet and fingers into its grainy depth.

"Gerald and I were very different. He wasn't a bad guy. He was just the wrong guy--and I can't really tell you why. In some ways, you remind me of him." She met his gaze, searching his face for a reaction.

He responded with an encouraging smile as he sat next to her.

"Anyway, we were dating on and off for about six months when I found out I was pregnant. At first, I panicked. A baby wasn't in the agenda, you know? I couldn't stomach the thought of putting my business on the back burner, yet a part of me yearned for a simpler life. I liked the idea of sharing my life with someone."

She raked her fingers through the sand as memories sifted through her mind. Images of Gerald, arguments and anger sent waves of fear through her. "God, this is so hard!"

"You're doing fine. Thank you." He leaned closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving them a squeeze. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

"I haven't talked about this with anyone."

"That only makes it more special. What happened, then? Between you and Gerald?"

"We didn't work because I didn't let us work. I undermined his every effort to make things good between us. Not on purpose. I don't know how to describe it. I was scared."

"I understand."

"In the end, I despised seeing him come home every day, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but with me. After months of my ill treatment, he hated me. I watched him wake every morning beside me, knowing he wished another woman lay next to him. I don't blame him, though. It was my fault. I made him detest me."

"I can't imagine you doing that to anyone."

She rolled her eyes. "Don’t you see the pattern here? First Heidi--my sister, the person I was closest to for years--and then Gerald. I can't stop myself."

"I don't believe that, either. I think if someone gives you the space you need, you'll cherish them. Nurture, even."

"I've never considered myself the nurturing kind of person."

"You rescue animals for a living. It's in you."

She toyed with a stick, then stood and started walking down the beach. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm not good at this deep stuff."

He followed her. "You do fine sometimes."

"Not face-to-face. And not when there are other people involved."

"Other people? Are you dating someone now?"

"No."

"Then, what other people are you referring to?"

"My sister, for one."

"She's decided she doesn't need my friendship, not that I believe her."

"Don't you think it'll hurt her to see us together?"

"I honestly don't think so. At one time I might have."

"I wonder if she was honest with you."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she stopped walking, relaxing into him. "I love Heidi. Like a sister. But I smothered her. She needs some time to herself. She's struggling with a lot of things."

"Exactly. Like cancer." Hailey pulled free from his hold. "Which is why you should be there for her."

"No. I've learned my lesson. I won't force friendship--or help--on anyone again."

She spun around. "Did you really learn that, or are you saying it because you think that's what I want to hear?"

"No. I mean it. I'm through forcing myself on my friends."

"I don't know." She stepped away. "I still think you're making a mistake with Heidi."

"I may be, but this was her decision. I can't worry about it, and I can't change her mind. She's an adult. She should have the freedom to make her own decisions and live with the consequences."

"True, but she's not thinking straight. She's sick."

"Believe me, I know that."

"So what are we going to do?" she asked, dropping onto a log at the water's edge.

"We?"

"You--" She ran her hand over her hair. "No, we," she corrected herself. "She's my sister. I want to help."

"Even if it means moving back to Michigan?" When she didn't answer, he said, "You want to know what I think?"

"Probably not, but go ahead."

"I think you need to learn to trust people."

"No big revelation there."

"I think you trust me. As long as you continue to trust me, you won't hurt me."

"Could it be that simple?"

"Why not? Why must it be complicated?"

"I don't know. Because important, life-changing things should be complicated?"

"I'd like to change your life."

"You already have."

Their gazes met again, and unspoken understanding hovered between them. Trust. Such a basic concept, yet so elusive. It could be that.

She trusted Rainer.

She loved Rainer.

A weight lifted from her heart, and she felt as though it might jump from her chest. She loved Rainer! "You are my best friend. Isn't that crazy?"

"You're mine, too. I don't think it's so crazy. We fit together."

She smiled, feeling understood and appreciated, not for what she had done, but for who she was. He'd listened. He'd encouraged her to talk about her feelings. He hadn't chastised her or judged her. He loved her.

This man--this relationship--was a treasure. She couldn't let it go. At that moment, she made a promise to herself. She would do her best to make him happy, not because he asked her. But because she wanted to. He deserved it.

He pulled her to stand, then dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Should we go to the house?"

They walked, hand in hand, silent and reflective. She ached to show him how much she appreciated him. As soon as she shut the door and flipped on a light, she slid her arms around Rainer's neck and kissed him. It wasn't a rushed, urgent kiss, but a slow, seductive kiss that left her feeling drunk. Her head spinning, she stepped back, slipped her top over her head and watched Rainer's gaze caress her body.

Her bra, a thin sheath between his fingertips and the sensitive skin beneath, felt like a body cast. With a deft snap, Rainer opened the back clasp and slowly slid the straps off her shoulders.

She basked in the feeling of utter exposure, another surprise. She'd always preferred hiding in the dark when making love. But with Rainer, her embarrassment evaporated.

He worshipped her body with his eyes, hands and mouth, treating every inch as though it deserved his undivided attention. He began at her neck, trailing licks and nips on the sensitized flesh, then wandered to the juncture between her shoulder and neck. Even the tender, ticklish skin on her back and the sides of her breasts were explored.

All the while, she grew more desperate. She wanted to feel his weight resting overtop her. More so, she wanted him inside her, their bodies joined as their souls were. They belonged together. She had no doubt.

Somehow, they moved to the couch. He lowered her, his face flushed and eyes heavy lidded. She reached up, gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

He was the most amazing creature she'd ever seen. A work of art. His chest was tight and muscular, sprinkled with coarse dark hair. A line of hair ran down the center of his stomach, beckoning a fingertip. It meandered slowly toward the waistband of his pants.

Before she reached her target, he gently forced her back onto the couch, then unsnapped her jeans and slid them down. Her center tingled in anticipation when her panties followed her jeans. She lay nude and brazenly exposed, making her heart pound loudly. Her bottom rested on the edge of the couch, her knees closed, but aching to open. When he rested his hands on them, they parted.

Her willingness was rewarded with a look of utter awe. His gaze traveled up and down her form. "You're absolutely stunning."

She couldn't speak. His gaze held hers. Breathless, speechless, mindless. All she cared about was watching him, touching him.

"I want to bury myself in that sweet body so bad."

She thought she'd lose her mind if he didn't. "Please."

"Not yet."

Oh, God.

He leaned down, and the first touch of his tongue sent a spear of heat up her spine. She sucked in a deep breath.

"You are so sweet, love."

His tongue, lips and teeth worked magic, sweeping her away until the pinnacle lay no more than a breath away. She fought to stay in control.

She needed him. Now. She gently pushed his head away. "Make love to me."

He shook his head, but she couldn't accept his refusal. She sat up and unbuttoned his jeans, then teased him through his snug, black boxers.

"Make love to me, Rainer. I need you."

He stood up and she forced his jeans to his ankles, then tugged his shorts down. He stood as exposed to her as she to him, and she worshipped his body with the same care he'd given hers. When her mouth closed around his arousal, he moaned and pushed her onto the couch. "Enough," he said.

She opened to him, and he finally filled her. She sighed as their bodies fell into rhythm, clinging to each other as he thrust again and again, bringing her closer and closer to that place she'd only experienced once before. In his bed.

And then the first pulse of her climax gripped her body. Her eyes closed. Every muscle tensed, her heart hammering as a sweet cadence shot through her body. He cried out and quickened his pace, riding upon their shared crest.

Once their energy was spent, he rested upon her, his chest heaving with each breath, his skin slick with sweat. She kissed his neck, salty, and smiled. This was what lovemaking was supposed to be.

She'd had no idea it could be like this.

"I love you," he said, the words sending joy through her whole being.

It had been a long time since she'd heard those words from someone she loved in return.

"I love you," she said, then closed her eyes. Sleep called her as Rainer's warmth and love seeped into her body and soul.

Rainer's arm tingled, Hailey's head cutting off the blood flow. He gently pulled his heavy arm free, but as her head lowered onto the cushion, her eyes opened.

"Hi," he said, losing himself in their emerald depth.

"Hi." She shifted onto her side and reached for a loose cushion.

"Don't. Don't hide your body from me. You're beautiful. You're such a giving lover, so open. Don't clam up now."

Her face flushed instantly. "Sorry." She looked so awkward, a soft blush showing in the dim light coming through the window. He turned away.

Someday, he vowed to himself, she'd stand proud before him. Like she did when they made love. "Well, as much as I'd love to laze around, I think we have some things to talk about."

"Oh?" She sat up.

"But, I'd like to shower first. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Absolutely," she said exuberantly.

"You joining me?"

"I think I'll wait. I need something to drink." When he lifted a brow, she added, "Tea, of course."

"Of course." He followed her to the bathroom, thanked her for the towels she handed him, and enjoyed the time alone. He sternly reminded himself he wasn't going to fall into old habits. Either she truly wanted this or not. He wouldn't try to change her mind. He would try to force her into any decisions. She was a capable, independent woman, and he would respect that.

After toweling off and donning the bathrobe he found on the back of the bathroom door, he returned to the living room. It was empty, but he heard clanking pots and pans in the kitchen. He followed the sound, and the smell of coffee.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, standing at the stove and stirring something in a fry pan. "I'm not that great a cook, but I can heat up a mean scrambled egg."

"That's fine. Can I help?"

"No. Please, sit. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Coffee's fine." He sat at the tiny round table snuggled into a bay window nook and glanced outside, not surprised to see the ocean in the distance, the morning sun hanging low in the horizon.

"Pretty, isn't it? I love this house. Every window on this side has a great view."

He still sensed strain in her voice. "Should we talk about what happened?"

"Do we have to?" She didn't face him.

"If it means you're going to continue avoiding looking at me, yes."

She turned around and smiled. "I'm sorry. This is a little scary."

"Why scary?"

She returned to her task, but stood in profile rather than cutting him off completely. "I'm not sorry for what we did, and I meant what I said, but--"