Renegade Reject (25 page)

“If you did, we’ll give you a week or two to get your shit straight.  You go into this after a bender, your ass won’t make it out alive.  Use your time wisely.”

They should just take me now.  It’s what I deserve.  Hell, it can’t hurt any worse than this.  Knowing the woman I love is hurting because of me is the worst kind of pain.

Kidd takes a step closer, the sneer gone from his face. “I’ll do my best to make sure you keep your cut though.  I don’t want you to be eighty-sixed.  If you are, you’ll never see your kid.  You may be a fuck up, but you’ve been a damn good brother.”

I can do nothing but nod, thankful that I have a chance at watching my child grow up. 

“I need to go to her,” I say, trying to walk past him.

“Sorry, man.  I can’t let you.  I promised her you wouldn’t follow her.”

“I don’t give a shit what you promised.  I’m going after her.”

“Daisy needs some time, man. You gotta let her go for now.  She’ll contact you when she’s ready.”

“Would you have done that with Ice?” I ask him.

“Yeah, I fuckin’ did.  If I remember correctly, and I know I do, you’re the one that told me to let her have her space.  For six damned years, I watched her fuckin’ around with my brothers.  It tore me apart, watching her with them.” He shakes his head, lost in the past.  “But you were right.  I couldn’t go after her right away.  She needed time.  She needed space.  I know if I had pushed it, I would have lost her forever.  Sometimes, I think back to all things we missed during those six years and get mad as fuck, but she needed that time.”

“I’m not you, Kidd. Daisy is mine, and I’m gonna make her fuckin’ see that.”

“I’m gonna tell you the same thing you told me six years ago.  You need to back the fuck off, brother.  Daisy needs space, and if you don’t give it to her, you’re gonna lose her forever.” He lays a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tight.  “Before you go after her, you gotta be sure you didn’t take a hand to her. Until you find out, that shit’s just gonna keep eating at you.  Take the time to let her deal with her shit, and use it to look for the answers you need.”

Fuck!  Kidd’s right. I swipe a hand over my face.  I don’t want him to be right.  I don’t want to live one more day without her.  “I got to find out the truth, I need to fix this shit, man.”

“Yeah, you do.  We’ll find out the truth.  Then you can go after her.  I’m telling you now, you need to be prepared.  This shit’s not gonna be easy for you.  You’ve hurt her for years.” He shakes his head.  “And just now, what the fuck were you thinking’?  You were so fuckin’ drunk you didn’t even know a club whore was on top of you?”

I hang my head. “I don’t fuckin’ know.  I swear I couldn’t even tell you my name twenty minutes ago, but as soon as I saw the little bump of Daisy’s stomach, I sobered up right away.”

“You’re lucky that Skittles keeps all these bitches up to date on STD tests and all the boys wear condoms, or you’d be the one going in for testing.  I doubt you even know where your dick has been the last few years,” he says, sounding disgusted at me, but I don’t blame him.  I’m disgusted in myself.

“I’ve never been so drunk that I forgot to wrap my shit up.”  It’s the truth.  Only once in my life, I went bare.  That was the last night I was with Daisy.  I wasn’t drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing and why. I wanted to mark her, make her mine.  Having my cum on her, in her, seemed like the best option.

He smirks at me.  “But, Daisy still got pregnant.”

That’s a good point, considering that the one time I didn’t suit up, she was already pregnant.  I guess sometimes a fuckin’ condom don’t work, which proves they might not have worked when I was fuckin’ around with all the whores.  I need to get checked before I touch Daisy again.  I haven’t touched anyone since I was with her the last time, but I’ve touched plenty of others before. “I’ll go get tested.”

“That’s probably a good idea.  You may also want to think about getting sober too.  It’s not my place to tell you how to live, but you need to take a good look around.  There are two kinds of brothers - the ones that contribute to the club, and the ones that don’t.”

“I’ve never let the club down.”

He shakes his head.  “No, you haven’t, but how much help are you going to be when you’re lost in the bottom of the bottle all the damn time.  Plus, I really doubt Daisy’s gonna want to be with a man that drinks himself to death.  She lived her whole life watching her dad do that shit.  She ain’t gonna put up with it from you.  You keep on, and she’ll be done with you for good.” 

“Daisy can’t be done with me.  I know I’ve fucked shit up, but I also know she loves me.  Now she’s carrying my kid, I’m not letting her go.” I say, with a shake of my head.  “I’m gonna find out the truth.  No matter what it is, and then I’m gonna fix this shit.”

With those words, I turn and walk down the hall.  As soon as I step inside my room, I rub my hands over my face and sink to the floor.  I love my family, the Renegade Sons, but Daisy is my life.  Without her, I have nothing.  If I don’t straighten the hell up, I’m gonna lose her forever.  Now, I just have to figure out how the hell to do that.  Guess the first thing will be getting my ass sober.

Chapter Nineteen

Ice pulls into my parents’ driveway, parking behind my mom’s car.  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay at the apartments tonight, or maybe a hotel?  You know your mom has heard about what went down at the clubhouse by now.  She’s gonna be even bitchier than normal.”

She’s right.  Mom will know.  She probably knew about what went down before I even walked out of there.  She has her moles in the clubhouse; probably one of the brothers she’s been screwing on the side.  “I gotta face her sooner or later, so I may as well get it done now.”

I start to climb out of the car, but Ice grabs my hand, keeping me inside.  “You don’t want to live at the apartment complex with the other girls, and I know it’s more than just your Dad needing you.”

She’s right.  I don’t like the idea of leaving my dad to fend for himself, but I know I could drop by and check on him from time to time.  The real reason I haven’t moved to the apartments is that I don’t think I’d enjoy living with all the club whores.  I love most of the girls, but there are a few that I can’t stand.  “I just don’t feel comfortable there.  I know you handpicked most the girls, but some of them are real bitches.  At least with Mom, I know what to expect.”

“I know what you mean.  Those are my girls, but I don’t want to share my space with them,” she says with a nod.  “Did you know there’s a little apartment above the diner?  It’s not much, just one bedroom and a combined living area.  It’s got a little kitchen, like you see in some of those extended stay motels; no stove, just a microwave and mini fridge.”

I shake my head, heart beating with excitement of the possibility of getting away from my mom.  “Are you planning on renting it out?”

“No, Kidd doesn’t like idea of a stranger living on club property.”

Shit!  Why did she bring it up, just to say no? 

A smile spreads across her face. “But, you’re not a stranger.  Also, I’m thinking it could be a perk of being the assistant manager.”

I’m just about to respond when Chipper’s truck pulls into the driveway.  A second later, my dad climbs out of the passenger side and stumbles toward the house.  Damn, he’s so drunk he can barely stay on his feet.

Forgetting my conversation with Ice, I get of the car and go straight to him.  Wrapping my arm around his middle, he leans on me.  “How’s my Little Flower doing?”

“I’m good, Daddy.”

I start to lead him to the house, but stop when Chipper steps up beside us.  “You need my help with him?”

I shake my head.  “Nah, I’m used to it.”

Chipper looks toward dad, repulsion obvious on his face.  When he looks back to me, his eyes soften when they land on my stomach. “Yeah, I know you are.  I’m not sure you need to be taking care of him anymore though.  You need to start thinking about yourself.”

Of course, he knows about the baby.  “I’m just going to take him inside, then go to my apartment and lay down.”

“I can help get Maker settled,” Ice says, climbing out of her car. 

I love Ice and Chipper, but the last thing I want is for them to go inside.  I know Mom is just waiting to lay into me, and I don’t want anyone around to see it.  “No, we’ll be fine.”

We take a second to say our goodbyes, then I help Dad get through the front door.  When we get inside, I’m surprised that’s Mom’s not waiting for us.  She’s nowhere to be seen.  After getting Dad into bed, I head to the garage.  I may call it an apartment to everyone else, but I know it’s nothing more than an old garage. 

As soon as I step inside, I see my Mom sitting on the couch. “So, the little whore is home.  I heard about the show you and Preach put on tonight,” she says, her eyes narrowed.

I ignore her as I put my coat away, hoping she’ll take the hint and leave.  Of course, she doesn’t.

“So it’s true. You’re pregnant,” she says with disgust. “Here you were, always looking down your nose at me, and yet you’re no better.  You’re just a little whore.”

With that, I lose it.  Turning around to face her, I start to scream, “I’m nothing like you!”

She lets out an evil laugh.  “Oh, really?  I may have been a little younger than you when I got pregnant, but other than that, I don’t see much of a difference.”

“How many men did you have to test for paternity before finding out it was Daddy?  Huh?”

She stands up and walks closer to me.  “Don’t talk to me like that.  I’m your mother, and you will show me respect.”

I shake my head, too angry to back down.  “If you want to be respected, then do something to earn it. You are not my mother. You are nothing more than a womb that carried me.”

“Daisy, you better watch your mouth,” she whispers a warning, but I don’t listen.

“Grams told me about you. She told me that you spread for everyone since you were just a kid.  She said you were born a whore.” I step toward her, only inches from her face.  “Just look at you now. You’re married, and yet you still sleep around with anyone that will have you.  At least with me, I’ve only ever been with one man, a man I love.  I never whored myself out, and that alone proves I’m better than you. You’re a whore, but I’m just a woman that fell in love with the wrong man.”

I know my grandma was a whore back in the day.  Some people still think she is, sharing her time between Grandpa and Uncle Holt, but Grams wasn’t like my mom.  She was part of the Renegade Sons.  She was and is the person many of the club members come to when they need to talk.  As far as I’m concerned, Grams was never a whore.  She’s an old lady to every member of the club.

Mom smirks at me before answering. “You can think what you want, but I know the truth.  Before you know it, you’ll be begging that cunt, Ice, to let you work the clubhouse.  You’ll need the money, because you and I both know Preach will never step up.” 

I can hardly hold back my tears at her words.  I know she’s right, at least about Preach.  He won’t step up. He might try to help at first.  He’ll play the role of Daddy until he gets bored.  “I don’t need Preach.  Unlike you, I don’t have to have a man to take care of me.”

“You really think you can earn enough working at that diner to support yourself?” She looks toward my stomach and smiles.  “Taking care of a baby is gonna cost you out the ass.  Soon the bastard you got growing will send you back to slinging drinks and stripping.”

“Don’t talk about my child like that,” I shout, anger making its way into my voice.

She laughs.  “Or what?”

“If I ever hear you call my baby a bastard again, I’ll go to Kidd and let him know that you’ve been selling Dad’s pain pills.  We’ll just see where that gets your bitch ass.”

The words just leave my mouth before her hand smashes into my face.  The force of the hit sends me sprawling on the floor.  Instinctively, I wrap my hands around my stomach and curl into a ball.  She kicks me a time or two before stepping back. 

“Never threaten me again, little girl!” she yells.  “If you do, I’ll ruin Preach’s life.  You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

I look up to her and see the evil smile that I’ve learned to fear.  “What are you talking about?”

“He didn’t tell you, did he?”

Without waiting for a response, she answers her own question. “Of course not.  He wanted to protect you.  How sweet.”

“Just tell me what it is you’re talking about.”

“I saw you the night of the party, saw Preach stumble into you.  When you fell down, I didn’t figure you were hurt too bad.  If you were, I really didn’t care.” She shrugs before going on. “When I saw the bruises on your face the next morning, I knew I finally had something that could really hurt you.  It was simple.  I just told Dad that Preach hit you.  He and Holt took care of the rest.  Now, it’s either you or the club.”

She laughs, and the sound sends chills down my spine.  “You know the best part?  I think he would have chosen you, but he was so drunk that he doesn’t even remember what happened.  I think he’s staying away just to protect you, afraid he really did hurt you on purpose.”

When her words finally sink in, I swear my heart rips in two.  All this time I’ve hated him, despising him, and he was trying to protect me.  That doesn’t make everything he’s done okay, but it sure softens the blow. “Why? Why in the hell would you do this to me?”

“Don’t you know by now?  I hate you,” she says with a smile before turning around and walking out of the garage. 

As soon as I hear the door shut, I start to sob.  It’s all just too much.  I don’t know how long I stay on the floor crying for before two strong arms pull me up.  “Shhh, Little Flower.  Don’t waste your tears on that cunt.”

I look up and see Timber staring down at me, his face full of anger as he takes in the marks Mom left on me.  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“You weren’t supposed to,” he says as he holds up a wallet.  “Your dad left this at the clubhouse.  I was headed this way, so I figured I’d drop it off.  When I pulled up, I heard the shouting.  I wanted to hear what she had to say, but I swear if I’d known that the bitch had been hitting on you, I would’ve stepped in.”