Renegade (59 page)

I took a deep breath, fighting back the rising nerves as we drew closer and closer to the flames.
I can do this.

I concentrated on the hot center inside me, on the flame that always burned. And then I told it to go out. I pictured me as a child, all blond and innocent, before a cake lit with birthday candles, both my parents and grandparents beside me with joyful smiles on their faces. I felt my lungs fill with air as they told me to make a wish. And then I whispered what I truly wanted and I released the breath and blew toward the candles.

The heat of the fire was closing in on me. I knew were close, oh so close to the flames, yet I held on to that image—to that little girl who’d been filled with hope as she blew out the mountain of candles on her cake. With a great gust, all the flames went out and I was smiling at the curling smoke and the pink frosting beneath the candles.

I opened my eyes.

We flew through the gates of hell, not one flame in sight. The souls darted up alongside the dragon, flanking us, and emotion so strong welled up inside me that my chest felt overly full.

I looked over my shoulder and the flames sprang back to life, burning brilliantly like they hadn’t just been silenced.

I did it.

I found the control buried deep within me and now the souls would finally know peace.

We flew into the white, the blank canvas that was the InBetween, and in the absence of everything we all grew still. I waited, praying Airis wouldn’t turn her back on us, that she would arrive and welcome them all as they should be welcomed.

I was beginning to get nervous she wasn’t going to show when she finally appeared.

Her white dress, blond hair, and perfect skin were flawless, as they’d always been. I couldn’t even imagine the way I looked, but I knew it didn’t matter. There were far more important things than looks.

“Airis,” I said, not waiting for her to ask me to speak. “I’ve freed the souls that were trapped in hell. Please allow them passage into heaven.”

She looked at me and then out over the golden glow of the souls all crowded around me.

“You strayed from your path more than once,” Airis said, her gaze returning to me. “You made choices that—”

“Please,” I said, “don’t punish them for my actions.”

She continued on like I hadn’t even spoken. “Yet you still prevailed. The good in you, Heven, runs deep, and while I may not agree with the way you fulfilled your destiny, my opinion is not the most important.”

Did Airis just admit she was wrong? Figures she would disguise it in her garbled way of speaking.

“God has been watching. He has seen all. Your mistakes have been forgiven and your triumphs are rejoiced.” She arched her hand out in front of her, pulling back the veil, opening a curtain of white and revealing to me a sight so stunning tears ran down my face.

“Welcome, souls. Where you once were wayward, you now are found.” Airis smiled.

The souls around me rushed forward, zipping past the curtain, racing to their peace, to their eternity.

I cried for them. Fat, silent tears of joy because I could feel their love, gratitude, and relief. And when they disappeared completely, my eyes took in everything they could from the other side, memorizing, committing it all to my photographic memory so I could call upon this moment for the rest of my life.

And then someone appeared.

Someone on the other side. He stepped forward through the light, a smile so bright on his face that I cried out.

It was Logan.

He waved at me.

Every broken and sad piece of him was gone. He was whole, healthy, and he was happy. I waved back and then he ran off laughing, in chase of something I couldn’t see.

I wiped my eyes, trying to clear my vision, wanting a clear shot of this gift I was given.

Airis cleared her throat and I noticed there was still one soul that hadn’t crossed. It was hovering nearby like it waited for something.

“Mom?” I asked, knowing it was her.

She rushed at me, all golden glow and happiness. She wrapped her soul around me, in the warmest hug I would ever receive and she held herself there, squeezing me tight.

My eyes closed, more tears finding their way down my cheeks, and I was filled with her image, her smiling face no longer laced with suspicion and doubt. Her eyes were clear and they looked at me with nothing but love.

I am so proud of you, daughter. You never gave up, not when the world was cruel and even I, your own mother, didn’t believe in you. I’m so sorry for not being strong enough. For not being able to protect you. My weaknesses aren’t yours to bear. You are far stronger than I ever was. I do love you. I never stopped. Please forgive me.

“I forgive you,” I whispered. “I love you.”

Her soul squeezed me once more and then she was gone, floating through the curtain and into heaven where she belonged.

I blinked against the onslaught of tears and as the veil was closed, I saw her and my father join hands and walk into a brilliant golden light.

Together.

“It’s time for you to go,” Airis said gently as I sat there and cried.

I nodded. “What about the Devourer?”

Airis smiled and looked at the dragon fondly. “He’s home now.”

I climbed off the Devourer’s back and he swung his head around to look at me. “You’re the best dog a girl could ever have,” I told him.

He blew out a breath and ruffled my hair. I laughed.

“Thank you,” I told him, placing my hand on his snout.

He blinked and then he faded away until he, too, was nothing but a soul that Airis guided into heaven.

Airis turned to me and smiled. “I have a feeling we will meet again, but not for many, many years.”

I would have said thank you, but she sent me home before I could utter the words. One moment I was in the vast empty InBetween and the next I was standing right beside the fountain in Portland.

“Heven!” Sam called, running around the edge to sweep me into his arms. “There you are. I was starting to worry.” He pulled me back to look at him, staring down at my tearstained face. “What happened?”

“I saw Logan,” I said, new tears brewing. “He’s so happy, Sam.”

“You saw…” His voice trailed away and he crushed me against him once more. “Thank God.”

We stood there a long time, wrapped up in each other’s arms, and for the first time in so long, breathing felt easy.

I pulled back. “Beelzebub?”

He smiled. “He won’t be a problem for us, ever again.” He laced his fingers through mine. “Come on, I’ll buy you a Bubble Tea on the way home.”

We started walking away when I saw Riley standing beside the fountain, watching us.

“Riley?” I said. “Come on.”

Slowly, he shook his head. I glanced at Sam and pulled my hand from his. “Give me a minute.”

I went to stand before Riley, looking up into his very deep, blue eyes. “You’re not coming with us are you?”

“No.”

“Where will you go?”

He shrugged.

I understood we weren’t the only ones that had been through a lot and who had lost. Riley lost too. And for all his jokes and snide comments, I knew Riley felt his losses very deep. He needed to grieve for Ana. He needed to grieve for himself. He needed to figure out who he was going to be now that he wasn’t shadowed by Beelzebub’s curse.

I took his hand in mine. “You’ll always be my family, Riley,” I told him softly. “When you’re ready, come home. We’ll be waiting for you.”

“You might be sorry you said that,” he said, his lips pulling up at the corners.

“Never. I’ll be sorry if you don’t come back.”

“I’ll be back,” he said, “and I’ll probably be hungry.”

I laughed and threw my arms around him, hugging him hard. “I love you, Riley Stone.”

He stilled, his arms hanging stiffly at his sides, but I didn’t care. I continued to hug him until slowly his arms folded around me and he was hugging me back. “Careful,” he whispered. “Sam might get jealous.”

I laughed and pulled back. “Come home, Riley. Sooner rather than later.”

He nodded and then turned and walked away.

I knew I would see him again, because in the end, people always come home.

Even if it was only because they were hungry.

Epilogue

Heven

“I present to you the newest graduates of Windham High School!” the principal announced into her microphone. Everyone around us stood up and cheered, throwing their square caps with tassels into the air.

I was a high school graduate.

High school had been nothing like I imagined it would be, but looking back, I really couldn’t picture it any different.

I looked at all the grinning, laughing faces around me and smiled. Turns out whatever Beelzebub did to the student body and some of its teachers, it went away the minute he lost his power. The doctors and news stations were still exclaiming over the strange virus and the miraculous recovery of everyone in the town.

The werebats disappeared, Sam regained the iron-clad control he had over the hound inside him, and everything pretty much went back to normal—whatever that was.

Alexis ran up to me, her cheeks pink from excitement. “So is it true?” she asked boldly.

“What?” I replied, smiling.

“Did Kimber really run off to Italy with some guy she met there last summer during our trip?”

My stomach tightened at the mention of Kimber, but I forced myself to keep smiling. “You know Kimber. She loves adventure!”

Alexis smiled like she finally had the answer to one of life’s unsolved mysteries. “Thanks!” she said and ran off. “Hey, guys, I told you it was true!” I heard her yell.

The truth was I didn’t know if Kimber got out of hell or if she was still there. What I did know was that Kimber could take care of herself and if she was still down there, it was probably because she wanted to be. Maybe it was a copout. Maybe I should try and find her. Maybe someday I would.