Renegade (13 page)

“No, it wasn’t! Don’t blame yourself, Jenny.”

“I’m not blaming myself unduly, Matt. And I truly do understand because I reacted much the same way with someone close to you.”

Incredulous, Matt went still. No, not Tucker!

“I didn’t know you had a twin, Matt. I didn’t suspect for a moment that Tucker wasn’t you.”

It was true.

“He looked like you, and his voice was just like yours.”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I do! I was totally taken in by him, except he said things to me that you had never said. He kissed me like you had never kissed me, and then…then…”

“Tucker took advantage of you.”

“No, he didn’t. I gave myself to him.”

Matt’s anger escalated to rage. Jenny had confided in him when distraught and had been a confidante
who never betrayed him. She told him things she never told anyone else. She alternately listened to his advice and advised him, and he had heard her voice over the sounds of a world that called to him in a way he only now understood. She had been a stabilizing facet of his life when it had seemed filled with unknown turmoil.

She was the loving sister he had never had.

The sister.

He implored, “Jenny, you don’t have to say anything else. I understand what happened. Tucker tried the same thing with Samantha.”

“But she was too smart for him. He told me about approaching her and that she ran him off, Matt—but I didn’t.”

“You sympathized with him. You thought he was me.”

“No…not really.”

Matt went silent.

“I didn’t react the same way to him that I do to you, and I didn’t understand it. He was you, but he was more than you. He wasn’t like a brother to me. He looked at me in a different way. His reactions set my heart pounding. And when he confessed who he was—”

“He confessed?”

“He came to me. He wanted to tell me everything, but I wouldn’t listen at first. I loved him, Matt, and I told him so. I wanted him, and he knew it. He…he just took what I offered.”

“He took what you offered because you thought he was me.”

“No…yes…” Jenny shook her head. Silky brown strands escaped her bun and Matt unconsciously tucked them back into place with brotherly affection.

“That’s what I mean, Matt. He didn’t touch me like you do. He touched me…like a lover.”

“You believed you were betrothed to him.”

“He said he was sorry, Matt, and I believe him. I believe him completely.”

“And you forgave him.”

“Yes.”

“Like you forgive me.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Matt. You just followed your heart where mine didn’t lead you.”

“Jenny, please don’t forgive me too easily.”

“Do you want me to berate you, Matt? I could do that, but whatever I said wouldn’t hold true. I know now that it would never have worked out between us. We like each other.” She shook her head as she corrected herself. “No, we love each other, but it’s a platonic love unrelated to the passion that we’re capable of feeling. You’ll always be a part of me, but not the part that Tucker filled so easily.”

“Tucker again.”

“Don’t be angry at him, Matt. He’s angry enough at himself.”

“I doubt it.”

“I believe he was sincere when he asked me to
forgive him.” She added, “But I told him I never wanted to see him again.”

“Why, if it was all a case of mistaken identity?”

“Because I made a fool of myself, Matt! I believed everything he said, even though I realized later that his words were prompted by the emotion of the moment, and then regretted. I invited him to make love to me, Matt, not with words, but with actions that he couldn’t turn down.”

“You knew I wouldn’t lie to you, so you believed everything he said.”

“I knew somehow that Tucker wasn’t you, but I forced myself to believe he was. In my heart, I betrayed you, too.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

Momentarily silent, Matt prompted, “What about your father?”

“I’m not going to tell him the truth and embarrass him unduly. When you and I drift apart and cancel our betrothal, he’ll understand. As for Tucker, I told him that I hope never to see him again and that whatever you decide to do is between the two of you.”

“I’ll take care of Tucker.”

The sound of his voice frightened her and Jenny protested, “No, Matt, please!”

“I’ll do what I have to, Jenny.”

“It was my fault, I said!”

“I don’t agree.”

Ignoring her earnest pleas, Matt tipped his hat and turned toward the door. Jenny gripped his arm in a last attempt to dissuade him, but he shook her off.

Matt knew only that she had forgiven him because
she
felt guilty—but there was only one person who deserved that guilt.

“All right, Samantha, what’s going on?”

The afternoon sun was dropping into the horizon when Samantha opened the door of her room to see Uncle Sean standing there. She attempted to conceal her surprise that he had returned sooner than expected. He had apparently come directly to her room upon reaching town, judging from the trail dust on his clothing, which might have been normal considering that she was supposed to be waiting for the results of his investigation. But his expression said otherwise.

Aware that her masquerade at the Trail’s End was still necessary in light of her uncertain circumstances, and that she was expected there soon, Samantha had dressed the part with a gaudy red gown and a neckline calculated to draw male glances. Sean again registered his disapproval of her apparel with a glance that she did her best to ignore.

Remorse soared as she searched his face. She hated deceiving him, especially since he had responded so promptly to her desperate wire, but Matt hadn’t returned. She hadn’t had a chance to talk to him, and
she didn’t know how to react to Sean’s questions. Sean was the only authority figure she had respected since her father’s death. It was still a wonder to her that she hadn’t realized he was still a handsome man or that he must have been a real heartbreaker in earlier days. Despite his white hair, she knew he was still strong as an ox and that the attraction women felt toward him was probably still as strong as it had always been.

“I asked you a question, Samantha.”

Samantha knew that tone. Sean had a rigid sense of right and wrong. She had borne the rigors of his disapproval in the past, and also knew that when he advised her, he was usually right.

Samantha replied evasively, “I suppose I should ask you first what you found out and why you’re back so soon.”

“I’m back because I found the new people you asked me to find.”

“You did?” Samantha’s surprise said it all before she urged, “And?”

Sean’s gaze tightened. “You knew they weren’t the bank robbers we were looking for, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t afford to take the chance that they were.”

“Those people were victims, not thieves. They were robbed on the way here and left almost penniless. Men pretending to be weary travelers stole almost everything they had, and they were determined
not to fall prey to that situation again. That’s why they ran off anybody they didn’t know.”

“How can you be sure they told you the truth?”

“Because Martin’s wife, Mary, was beaten by one of the men, and she’s been afraid of strangers ever since. She hid at the window and didn’t show her face, but she could’ve killed me with a single shot from her rifle. She didn’t. I’d say that proves their story.”

“Oh.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

Suddenly ashamed under Sean’s scrutiny, Samantha confessed, “The truth is that I never should have asked you to come, Unc—I mean, Sean. I was confused when I sent that wire. I didn’t give myself enough time to straighten things out.”

“That would’ve been all the more reason to wire me.”

“I have to straighten things out by myself. That’s important to me.”

“I thought becoming a Pinkerton was important to you.”

“It is.”

“Still?” Sean asked.

“It’s been a goal all my life.”

“Then let me help you.”

“No.”

“No one needs to know I took any part in the affair.”

“I’ll never be sure I’m worthy of the job, then.”

Sean scrutinized Samantha’s pale expression with a look that she felt could see down into the darkness of her soul. He then retorted, “Well, I guess that’s all that needs to be said. I’ll head back where I came from.”

“Thank you.”

“When I’m ready.”

Samantha winced. “That isn’t necessary, Unc—I mean Sean.”

Sean smiled knowingly. “I’ll see you around, Samantha.”

“But—”

Sean turned and left abruptly, without waiting for her to finish her remarks. Left alone in the silent room, Samantha realized that Sean had simply heard enough, had made a decision, and did not wait to hear what he knew would only be more excuses.

A sense of impending doom was unavoidable as the sound of Sean’s footsteps gradually faded—because she knew him and she believed his every word.

“Have you seen Samantha yet?” Toby appeared anxious as he approached Helen in the Trail’s End. Day was fading and he was nervous. Lack of sleep was taking its toll.

“No, I haven’t. She’s due here any minute, though.” Helen glanced at the fellow beside her. Jim had become one of her regulars…one of her most welcome
regulars. They had discovered they had more in common than they had ever realized. Both had had a surprisingly strict upbringing until turned out on their own at an early age by circumstances that couldn’t be controlled. Both had made their way however they could, although Helen’s choices had been more limited. But both had the same dreams—mutual dreams that Helen realized were becoming more and more entwined as time wore on.

However it all turned out, Helen knew she had Samantha to thank for the joy Jim brought her. She would never forget her for it, which made the small brunette only too conscious that Samantha’s smiles were too forced and her reactions too sharp.

Guilt plagued her. She had seen Samantha’s expression when Matt had waited for her outside the Trail’s End that last time. She should have said something. Perhaps she should have reminded her that Matt was already betrothed, but uncertainty and Maggie’s swift arguments had prevailed.

“I need to talk to her.”

Helen ventured, “Is something wrong, Toby?”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed.” Toby’s wrinkled face creased in a half smile—which fell the moment Samantha entered the saloon. Starting toward her, he turned back to say with a tip of his hat, “Sorry for bothering you, Helen.”

Helen watched Toby’s harried step, and she turned back to Jim with a frown. “Something’s wrong, Jim. I’m worried about Samantha.”

Jim’s shy smile flashed. “If there’s one thing I know, Samantha’s got good judgment. She’s the one who told me to come talk to you.”

Helen’s heart flip-flopped in her breast. That was the nicest thing Jim had ever said to her. She replied softly, “Thank you, Jim.”

She then turned back to watch the serious conversation that commenced between Samantha and Toby. “But I’m still worried.”

“You said Samantha could take care of herself, but to be honest, I’m starting to worry about her again, too.”

Their conversation stilling, they watched the exchange between Toby and Samantha with mutual frowns.

“What are you going to do?”

Samantha looked at Toby’s unsettled expression. She had just entered the Trail’s End after speaking to Sean. Toby had drawn her immediately aside.

“I’ve been thinking things over, Samantha,” Toby began. “I think I should tell Matt what I know about his brother.”

“Why?”

“Because I think he should do what his father would want him to.”

“Which is?”

“I don’t know. I’m hoping Matt will.”

Samantha considered Toby’s concern. She had not expected this turmoil when she came to Texas.
Her life had been cut-and-dry after her father’s death. Sean had arranged for her to live at school on the little her father left her. He had visited her regularly until she was eighteen years old, when she graduated with an unshakable objective in mind.

She had not anticipated when she came to Winston with her grand plan that Matt would be Matt. She had believed that her more obvious female attributes, her knack for cool logic, her inborn independence, and the skills her father had inadvertently taught her would grant her success. She had never thought that the driving desire to become a Pinkerton would be compromised so effectively when she first saw Matt, and that she would eventually be helpless against him.

Nor did she know that Matt had a twin brother whose birth had gone unreported or that Matt had never met his brother before Tucker showed up on the scene. She knew now that she had depended too heavily on the investigations of the Pinkertons who had worked the case before her and had made a mistake by dismissing misidentification of any kind.

With a familiar chill, Samantha recalled the weakness that beset her every time she saw Matt. Because of it, she had wired Sean because she had been frantic for help. Yet now faced with Sean’s suspicions and Toby’s sudden realization that the twin he had believed dead was alive, she was at a loss.

Aware that Toby awaited her response, Samantha
forced a smile. “I don’t think you should act hastily, Toby.”

Too acute to be fooled by her subterfuge, Toby asked, “Meaning?”

“Don’t say anything yet.”

“Why?”

“Because Matt has too many other things on his mind right now to add something else.”

“Jenny, you mean.”

Samantha’s smile faded.

“He’s going to tell her about you and him?”

She nodded again.

“Where does that leave you?”

“I don’t know.”

He paused, and then said with a sympathetic smile, “You don’t know what to do and uncertainty ain’t your thing.”

“No.”

“Darlin’.” His expression softening further, Toby said, “I don’t want to do nothing that will make you sad. I won’t say nothing at all for the time being if you don’t want me to. Is that all right with you?”

Samantha blinked back sudden tears. “Thank you, Toby.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just doing my best with my second chance, is all.”