Remembrance: A Contemporary Erotic Romance (Iris Series Book 4) (2 page)

She furiously swiped at the angry tears gathering in her eyes.  At 5’5” and almost 175 lbs, she was pleasantly plump to say the least.  Once you added in her enormous boobs, she felt freakish.  She knew she had good taste in clothes, usually leaning toward the multiple layered look of the Bohemian style.  She had a nice curvy shape, with a little extra padding, but sometimes she wished she could just be skinny.  A nice skinny stick of a girl with a flat chest.  Although she was forever being told how pretty she was, it certainly didn’t help. 

You’re just so pretty with your strawberry blonde curls and green eyes.  You carry yourself so well and have such a flair for style, Janie.  And so funny!  If only you lost a little weight…

The oft repeated sentence from well-meaning relatives made her want to throw the bowl of cookie dough across the room. 

She shifted her weight on her combat boot encased feet.  Dressed in her leggings and long oversized tunic sweater, she pulled up a sleeve and put a little extra muscle into stirring the batter.  In the background, the kitchen CD player was spinning her mom’s favorite Bonnie Raitt album while her mom puttered around in the living room.  Since it was
college Christmas break, all of the guys were staying for dinner and her mother was straightening up so the place was ready. Plus, it was Luke’s birthday, albeit belated.  In fact, all of the guys were up in her brother’s room at the moment, listening to music, catching up on life, their studies...girls.

Janie sighed, listening to the lyrics of
I Can’t Make You Love Me
. Any time the stupid song played, it was like a knife slicing through her heart.  How true those lyrics were, especially when thinking of the guy she’d had a crush on since she was eight.  Luke Daniels.  Because he was best friends with her brother, Mike, as well as her cousin, Jeremy McCallister, he was upstairs with them hanging out until dinner.

Newly twenty one years old,
he was gorgeous, wonderful and sweet.  He was her buddy and had always been kind, always protective of her.  They must’ve just bred them differently in Europe.  Other than her male relatives, he was the only guy who didn’t look at her like the overweight ginger that she was.  She had guy friends at school, but none were any who would ever want to hook up with her.

What did she expect anyway?  She felt like a cow.

Luke had been helping her this last semester with her Spanish class, tutoring her because she needed the extra instruction.  He and his twin sister, Tiffany, had an American father who had been a diplomat to Spain, and their Spanish mom was a Communications Director from that country.  Spain was where their parents had first met, so Mrs. Daniels raised her kids to be bilingual while being raised in their country of origin.  Luke’s dad eventually brought his family to Manhattan when the twins were twelve and he’d begun working for the United Nations.  All of the boys from the Callahan, McCallister, and Daniels families had become close friends almost immediately since Jeremy and Luke had ended up attending the same private high school together.  Because the kids were all in the same age bracket, it was through them that all of the families had met and become close over the years.

Bonnie’s voice continued to croon while Janie tried to squash the depression enveloping her
...you can’t make your heart feel, something it won’t…

No, you definitely can’t.  So stop hopin’ and wishin’, Janie.  You’ll never have him.

I hate my life.  I hate my body.  I fuckin’ hate Chaz the Razz.  I wanna boyfriend.  One just like...

“Who’s ‘Chaz the Razz’, and why do you
fucking hate him?”

Shit.  Had she been talking out loud again?  She immediately tamped down the negativity coursing through her, blinked madly to abate her tears, and plastered on a smile before turning around to look at the man she would never have. 

There he stood, well over six feet in height with black hair, olive colored skin and clear beautiful blue eyes.  Her heart tripped in her chest while she took him in, clad in his jeans and gray fitted sweater. 

Nearly ten years in the States hadn’t lessened the European flair that always surrounded him.  He reached into his back pocket and took out a handkerchief.  What American college boy carried a handkerchief?  Not a one.  But Luke did, and somehow he made it look chic and cool as hell. 

“Baby girl?” he said, his eyebrow raised in question while waiting for her to respond.

She secretly loved it when he called her by his nickname for her.  She returned the favor, calling him by the name that always annoyed him but was quintessentially part of their banter.

“What’s goin’ on, Lukey?  I hear you’re hitting us up for dinner again,” she said, giving him a smile then turning away.

He walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder so she’d turn to look at him.  Frowning down at her, his eyes drilled into hers.  “What happened?”  He
held out the handkerchief.

She looked down at it and swallowed.  “What?”  She turned away from him again.  Fuck.  He’d seen her crying.  She continued stirring the cookie batter.  “I’m making chocolate chip cookies for dessert.  I missed your birthday, so…”  Luke’s birthday had been a few days earlier, exactly one week before Christmas Eve.

“Nice,” he said, really meaning it.  “I love when you make chocolate chip cookies.” Then without hesitating he continued, “Who’s Chaz the Razz?”  He put his finger under her chin and directed her gaze up to his, patting the tear still on her cheek with the handkerchief in his hand.

That nearly did her in but she prevailed.  She shook her head at him and smiled.  “No one worth talking about.”

“Did he do something to you?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Swallowing down the pain while Bonnie sang about unrequited love, she croaked out, “It’s all good.”

“You okay?”   

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 
Just another day of laughing through jokes from insensitive assholes about my weight and then coming home to the boy I wish saw me as someone other than his baby sister.  Why wouldn’t I be alright?

He shrugged at her question, but zeroed those blue eyes onto her green ones with a knowing look.  He looked like he was about to say something more, but then switched gears, putting the handkerchief down on the counter next to her. 

“How was school?”

“The usual,” she smiled.  “So you’re on break for a while, huh?” she asked while beginning to scoop servings of dough onto the cookie sheet. 

Her long curly hair was up in a knot, keeping it out of the way.  He yanked on one of the curls that had escaped, watching it bounce back into place.  “Yeah.  You’re probably done, when, tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”  She felt herself shiver.  She loved it whenever he touched her.  She was pitiful.

“Good.  We’re all going to an early movie tomorrow night if you want to come.”

Even though a current of excitement coursed through her, she played it off.  “Why would a 21 year old guy wan
t to hang out with a 17 year old?  Don’t you have any girlfriends to fill your time?”

He barked out a laugh.  “I’ll be doin
g that
after
the movie,” he said with a leer and an eyebrow wiggle.  He pulled her hair again.  “It’s just going to be the guys and Tiffany. We were thinking we might take Robbie to that Muppet Christmas movie that’s out,” he said, referring to Janie’s 7 year old little brother.  The kid was always stoked when all the guys were around.  “Come,” he said while grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and turning to leave the kitchen.  “And don’t burn those cookies,” he yelled over his shoulder.  “I’m going to want like ten of them.”

She snorted and yelled back, “Burning food is your department, Lukey.  I
know
how to cook, thank you very much.”

She heard him laugh as he bounded up the stairs, then she relaxed her face and took a cleansing breath, shaking out the bad memories from the school day.  She’d enjoy tonight, make
it through tomorrow’s last day of the semester, then she’d get to hang out with the one guy she’d always measured other boys up to.

She looked down at the handkerchief he’d left.  The thought of seeing Luke tomorrow night would get her through one more day of Chaz the Razz.

Present Day

“Janie, those mashed potatoes were incredible,” Matthew Daniels said, leaning back and patting his still flat stomach even though he was in his early sixties.

Janie flashed him a brilliant smile.  “Thanks, Uncle Matt.”

“How have you not been snatched up yet?  You’re like the perfect catch,” he boomed.  “You’ve got it all, sweetie.”  He looked at his wife.  “Doesn’t she,
mi reina
?  Seriously.”  He turned back to Janie.  “You’ve got charm, you’ve got beauty, you’re a dream in the kitchen, you’re the owner of a successful catering business,” he rattled off. 

“Don’t stop now,” she quipped.  “Tell me more,” Janie teased.

At least twenty friends and relatives were packed into the West Village brownstone belonging to her cousin, Jeremy, and his girlfriend, Ryann Thornton, for Thanksgiving dinner.  Although the closeness of their families kept Janie in communication with the elder Daniels through phone and email, it had been a couple of years since Janie had seen Luke and Tiffany Daniels’ parents due to their work schedules which often took them overseas.  She was thrilled to reconnect with them now that they were back in town. 

“The tapas with the Manchego cheese were
perfecto
.  Lucas and Tiffany raved about them when they mentioned them a couple of months ago.  I was hoping you’d make them today.”  Mrs. Daniels, otherwise known to Janie as Maria, reached across the table to squeeze Janie’s hand.

“Well, that’s high praise coming from you,” Janie smiled.  “I wanted them to be just like yours.” 

Whenever the Daniels had come to a holiday gathering, Maria had always brought the tapas.  Born and raised in Spain, she was an outstanding cook and her tapas were always much anticipated at family dinners.  The ones that always caused a stir were dates stuffed with chorizo, then wrapped in bacon.  They were, quite simply, orgasmic.  Even the diehard vegetarian Janie Callahan gave up her plant eating ways when the delectable appetizers were in her presence.  Maria had brought hers today, while Janie made the same recipe with her own twist.  Rather than stuffing hers with chorizo, she’d used Manchego cheese instead. 

“Lucas tells me they’ll be part of the menu at his annual party for
GSoul
,” Maria said, always referring to her son by his Spanish name.

Janie nodded and looked over at Luke who was deep in conversation with her younger brother home from college.  “Yup, that’s the plan.  The menu is finally coming together.  I’m nervous, but excited.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about.  It’s going to be great,” Janie’s mom, Heidi, said.  “This will be so good for your business, hon.  It’s a big one, I know, but you can totally handle it now that you have Ayanna on board.”

“Thanks, Mom.  Yeah, we’re really stoked about it.”

“I’m so glad we got to meet her.  I hear she brought some caramel chocolate something or others for dessert?” Matt asked, his gorgeous blue eyes twinkling, just like the ones he passed down to his children.  The man was a sucker for food but could barely boil water.  He passed both of those traits to his son as well.  Thankfully, Tiffany got her cooking skills from her mother.

Janie nodded.  “Yeah.”  She made eye contact with her close friend, Ayanna, across the room.  They both smiled at each other and Ayanna made a silly face at her.  Her parents were with them this Thanksgiving and there was much for Ayanna’s family to give thanks for, having recently healed the estranged relationship between them.

Janie’s brother Mike had his girlfriend, Emily, with them for the first time along with her family down from Boston, too. 

Most people needed a Venn diagram to follow the swoops and turns that connected their circle of friends.  It all started with Janie’s cousin Jeremy
McCallister and his girlfriend, Ryann Thornton.  Ayanna Sarin, who had grown up best friends with Ryann, was soon to be Janie’s partner in her catering business, and was dating Jonathan White who used to work with Ryann.  It was through Ryann that Ayanna and Jonathan met.  Janie and her brother Mike Callahan, being cousins with Jeremy, or Jem as the family called him, met Ryann, Ayanna and Jonathan through
him
.  Then Janie’s brother Mike met Emily White, Jonathan’s cousin, and
they
were now seriously dating and were scheduled to move into their new apartment together in the next month. 

Trying to keep all the connections straight was exhausting for the average outsider.

“And I was so happy to meet Emily.  She’s been such a help to Tiffany with her new venture,” Matthew said.  “The new foundation has already given new meaning to her life.  Tiff’s almost back to being that girl we knew before her marriage,” he said poignantly.  “I’ve missed seeing that confident Tiffany,” he said quietly.

The older Daniels looked at each other and smiled.  “It’s so perfect for her, isn’t it,
mi rey
?” Maria asked her husband quietly.  “Helping young girls, giving them self-esteem.  And it’s just great that you all have such wonderful connections with each other,” she said to Janie with an excited smile.  “And Emily now with Mike?  I love seeing how completely smitten he is,” she chuckled.  “And Jem with Ryann?”  She sighed contentedly.  “Such a joy to see you all finding your loves.”