Remember Me (27 page)

She nodded, but continued to cry. “I know, I’m not supposed to stress myself out. How would you be feelin’?”

I nestled my body beside her, picked up Beka and pulled Ash closer. “I would be actin’ the same way you are. We’re goin’ to get through this, like we always do.
” She smiled and looked over at me. Beka was grabbing at her face and laughing, having no knowledge that something bad was going on. “I need to go change her.”

“Shayne wait,” she said as I started to climb out of the bed. “Can you bring her a clean diaper and clothes in here, so I can do it?”

I smiled and nodded as I walked out of the room to get the things. While walking back I peeked in the room to see Eli sitting up. He looked like he’d had a rough night from the disturbing look on his face. I caught a whiff of a very shitty diaper as soon as I walked into the room. He never smiled until he was in my arms. “What are you doin’? You stinkin’ up the place?”

He smiled and said somethin’ in baby talk. “Mommy’s in here with sissy.” We arrived back in my room and I handed over our stinky son. Ash’s face looked shocked when she realized how bad the odor was.

“Oh my. Eli, you’re a stinky boy.”

He smiled for her while I climbed back into bed. At the same time we started changing the twins. It was probably weird or gross to some, but this moment was so special to me. Their mother was back home where she belonged. She was safe, and for the most part healthy. She’d get to see her children grow up and they’d never have to be without her.

After I’d fumigated the bedroom, we headed downstairs and cuddled on the couch, watching the twins play on the floor in front of us. Ash seemed content being around them in any way and I appreciated that she was keeping what was going on with her father from ruining our morning.

Her mother finally showed up around lunch time.
She had another female with her and later explained that reporters had been camped out at their house since last night and she had to sneak out of the back to avoid them.

She explained that she’d filed for divorce but wasn’t ready to tell anyone. The police had come to her months ago wanting to know her involvement, if any. When she learned about the horrible things he’d been involved in, she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. They asked her to gather them as much information as she could. She’d been feeding them information for their case, but never really knowing if it was going anywhere. Then, without warning, her husband was arrested. She said she didn’t know it was going to happen so fast and wished that she’d had time to prepare Ash. The woman cried, so much that it took her forever to explain.

I think Ash had mixed feelings, but at the end of it all, she didn’t want her mother going to jail for something she wasn’t involved in.

I left the room, allowing them to have some time alone to deal it all. It wasn’t until I heard the front door shut that I knew she’d left. Ash was still sobbing when I came into the room, but she chippered up quite fast. “Sorry for spoilin’ our mornin’ together.”

I kissed her on the side of her head. “It’s all good, Ash. That couldn’t have been avoided. Besides, you really needed to know.”

“I still don’t know much. She wouldn’t tell me details and I’m surprised that I could understand her at all. She’s a mess. Now she said she doesn’t even know where to
stay. I’m guessin’ she’s goin’ to hide out for a couple of weeks until those reporters go away. Hopefully they won’t come here.”

“If they do, they’re goin’ to get a shot gun pointed towards them.” I wasn’t meaning to threaten anyone’s lives. I just wanted people to leave Ash alone. She’d been through enough already.

She grabbed my hand and looked up at me. “I promise you that you don’t have to worry like I know you’re doin’. My dad’s a shady man and I’ve made it clear that I didn’t want to be a part of his life anymore. Sure, it hurts me that the man is crooked, or that he always cared about himself more than me, but I’m dealin’ with it. Shayne, I’ve got a second chance at life, and nothin’ is goin’ to stop me from celebratin’ with you and our children. The only place I need to be is here, with the three of you.”

She kept that promise, too. Not only did Ash not ask about her father, but I never even saw her watching the news or being upset about it.

Her first week home was chaotic. She wasn’t prepared for how active the twins got, and in no time at all they had her right where they wanted her. Both Eli and Beka knew how to cry when they wanted something, and Ash couldn’t stand to see them sad.

Peyton helped out when I was at work, probably praying that she wasn’t losing her babysitting gig and free place to live. Since I’d increased her weekly pay to two-hundred dollars, she was making out pretty well. She paid her car insurance and cell phone bill then pocketed the rest, or maybe she just spent it on clothes or shoes. I never knew with her.

She’d enrolled herself in two online classes and my parents were over the moon about it. I didn’t tell her this, but we needed her now more than ever before.

My parents had finally come to terms with everything that had happened. Two weeks after Ash had been home, they took us out to dinner, just the four of us. Ash got dressed up nice
and I’d even sent her to have her hair done. I could tell it brightened her spirits getting pampered and pretty. Things were only awkward when we first arrived. Neither of us wanted to say anything, in hopes that they weren’t going to make some plea for us about Parker. I was done dealing with him, and hoped that my father understood that.

Instead, they asked something entirely different.

“We asked you two here because we need to address somethin’,” my dad explained. “It seems as though we haven’t been too fair you, Ashley. Shayne’s mother and I felt like we needed to say some things, just so you don’t ever feel uncomfortable around us.”

I grabbed Ash’s hand under the table and squeezed it, ready to defend her if necessary.

“What my husband is tryin’ to say is that we’re sorry. We’ve all been young and made mistakes. You lost so much all at once, and that night with Parker was probably somethin’ that you regret but,” she reached over the table and grabbed Ash’s other hand. “you shouldn’t. You were brave, makin’ the decision to be a mother when he walked away. You stood your ground, and with the support of Shayne you were able to become a family.” My mother was starting to cry. It definitely pulled at my heartstrings hearing her. “We didn’t know the whole story, and only judged you from our past knowledge. Families are supposed to stick together, but we’ve done a terrible job for a while now in that department. Please forgive us for that. We love the twins and we’re so proud of what the two of you have accomplished together. You changed our son, and we’re very grateful for that.”

My dad and I both looked down to avoid eye contact, while Ash and my mother came to terms with their new relationship. Though still skeptical, I felt like it was a step in the right direction.

The weather had gotten warm again, and Ash was doing better every day. Since we had the perfect yard, we’d decided to have Sunday barbeques and invite the whole family over. Now, Ash, not really being the greatest cook, could make some great desserts. While she was in the kitchen whipping up some banana pudding, I was outside having a couple beers with the guys. It had taken her a while, but she was even up to having Sky and Lacey over. The family was big enough that they didn’t have to be in close proximity if they didn’t want to.

It just so happened that this cookout I needed everyone there, because I had special plans of my own.

Once everyone had arrived, and I made them all come out back, I called for Ash to bring me a plate for the meat. I’d made her a little sac to wear on her shoulder for when she had to walk around and needed an extra hand. She came walking out with the help of a four-legged cane and noticed that everyone was quietly standing around watching her.

I approached and kissed her tenderly before stooping down on one knee. “Ash, we’ve been
through a hell of a lot together. Please say you’ll marry me?”

I opened the small box revealing a dainty diamond emerald-cut, white
gold ring surrounded by a tiny row of smaller stones. She held out her hand and nodded, never taking her eyes off of mine.

When I stood up and kissed her, my redneck family started
whistling and hooting all sorts of sexual comments. We ignored them, still caught up in our little moment together. “I will marry you, Shayne,” she said in between our celebratory kisses.

“I knew you’d say yes.”

We both laughed, because we knew it was true.

Chapter 34

Ashley

It had been six months since my father was arrested and one week since his trial ended. He was found guilty and sentenced to thirty years in jail. For months he’d been writing me, pleading with me to come visit him.

I’d been busy planning a wedding, learning to be a mother again, and getting back to perfect health. Still, there was this part of me that needed closure. Unlike my mother, who’d written him off as if she’d never known the man, I felt a pull toward being able to look him in the eyes one last time and express how he’d made me feel.

Maybe it was a shitty thing to do, but I felt as if I’d been through too much to let him make me feel bad about my life. I’d never been happier and for some reason, maybe just me being selfish, I wanted him to know it.

On a Saturday, Shayne and I dropped off the kids with his parents and made the drive to Baltimore where he was being held. I’d like to say that I wasn’t nervous, but I’d never even been near a jail before and it petrified me.

We arrived and got through all of the check points before being seated in the visitor’s area. I got chills when they brought him in, seeing him so disheveled. His hair hadn’t been cut and had started to curl on the ends. It was turning white and he hadn’t shaved his face in so long that he almost had a full beard. He stared at me as he sat down across from us, never acknowledging Shayne beside me. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He reached for my hand, but I pulled away.

“Believe it, because it’s the only time I’m ever goin’ to come, dad.”

He looked down, and I felt sorry for him immediately, but that’s what he would want. He’d want to play the sympathy card to get my attention, and I wasn’t going to let him.

“I’m here because I need closure. I need to tell you once and for all that I deserved more from you.” Shayne pulled his hand away and put on my back. He started rubbing it as I spoke, coaxing me to have the strength to do it. “I deserve to be your daughter, not a pet that you bought a toy for. I needed guidance and love, but never got it from you. I needed a role model to show me how to be independent and honest, but you couldn’t have ever taught me that, since you didn’t know how to be that person either.”

“Ashley, please don’t say that. I do love you.”

I put my hands up, begging for him to stop. “Please, just let me finish. I am sorry for one thing, dad. I’m sorry that my children will never get to know they have another grandfather. I wish that things could have been different, but you made your choice.”

I stood up, and he began to beg. “Wait. Please don’t go. You don’t understand. I was all you had for so long. I was good to you. I did the best I could after –“

He paused and I didn’t understand why. “After what?”

My father put his hands up to his face. “It doesn’t even matter.”

“This is why I’m walkin’ away.”

“I see you’re engaged.
Congratulations, I guess.”

I rolled my eyes. “No thanks to you, dad.”

“You’re right, Ashley. I did and said things that I shouldn’t have done. I was trying to protect you the best way I knew how. I wish you could see that.”

“
Protect me from what? From him?” I pointed to Shayne. “He’s the only person that never gave up on me. Do you know how that makes me feel?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Enlighten me.”

He started to sob, even with a room full of inmates and visitors. I looked at Shayne who seemed completely baffled. “I can’t, Ashley. I can’t talk about it.”

“Then I guess we’re done here. Take care of yourself, dad. If and when you get out in thirty years, maybe I’ll consider talkin’ to you again.”

We’d gotten a few steps away from the table when I heard him say something that caused me to freeze in place. “She died, Ashley.
Your mother didn’t leave us.”

I turned around and looked right at him. No wonder he didn’t want me looking for her. “What? How could you not tell me?”

He shook his head and looked down. “The doctors told me it was hereditary. They said that it could happen to you or your children. I didn’t want to scare you, so I told you she left. I didn’t want you to know that I came home one day and found her dead on the floor. You’d been in your highchair for hours screaming. It all happened so quick and after time I buried it, thinking it could never happen to you. I distanced myself enough that if it ever did, I’d be able to cope better than I had with your mother.”

I didn’t know what to say. For my whole life I’d assumed that my mother left
me. This whole time she’d been dead, from what had just almost killed me. I began to break down and Shayne pulled me into his chest. He said nothing to my father, and I didn’t hear him saying anything back. I needed to leave, to get as far away from my father as I could.