Remember Love (11 page)

Her back went
rigid. "Presumption never seemed to be a flaw of yours, Joe."

"There’s no
call to be upset."

"Rachel
asked you to spy, didn’t she? You may not have seen him, but Alec was at church
this Wednesday." She stood and scanned the crowded bleachers. If her
friend was here, she’d find her. Text her. When Joe touched her wrist, she
yanked away. "You two don’t need to act like I’m made of glass. I can make
my own decisions."

He stood and
followed her down the stands and onto the scuffed grass. "We know you’re
smart, Katrina. We’re just worried you might make a decision with your heart
instead of your head."

She whirled to
face him. "Alec will be leaving soon and then I doubt I’ll ever see him
again."

"I don’t
think that’s going to happen." The casually spoken words behind her made
her pulse pause for a fraction of a second. Then the blood in her veins surged
into double-time. She turned slowly and found Alec grinning at her like the
Cheshire cat.

"Katrina.
Joe." He and Joe shook hands, measuring each other carefully.

"Watching
Little League now?" Joe stood next to her, his body stiff.

"That, among
other things."

She rolled her
eyes when Alec winked at her. He couldn’t be serious. Watching her? In her ragged
cut-offs, flip-flops, and stained t-shirt? "I thought you were working
today."

"All contracts
are signed and sent. Files are uploaded and in order. I needed a break."

Joe stood by
Katrina’s side and, in a deliberate move, she stepped away from him, towards
Alec. Joe needed to know that while he was both pastor and friend, he wasn’t
her father. "Do I need to look anything over for the store?"

"No. I
wanted to talk with you, though."

"Sure."
She leaned back and patted Joe’s shoulder. "I’ll see you Sunday, Pastor."
She winked at him, but his face didn’t lose its solemn cast.

"Don’t
forget about the Thanksgiving dinner," he said.

"I won’t."

Alec took her arm
and they walked away from the stands. She tried not to notice how warm his hand
was on her arm or the tender strength of his fingers against her skin. They sat
beneath the shade of a sturdy oak, and grass tickled the backs of her knees.

She looked at
Alec. "What’s up?"

"Are you and
Party Joe an item?"

"An item? As
in dating?"

"You know
what I mean."

"He’s not Party
Joe, he’s Pastor Joe. And no, we’re only good friends."

"He’s giving
out protection vibes."

"Probably
is, but Rachel’s the one he has his eye on." Katrina shrugged. "I
think he feels like he should take care of me. After I found out I was
pregnant, he was a huge help. He’s the one who led me to Christ. I owe him a
lot."

"Maybe so.
Why did you name our son Joey?"

The change in
subject was unexpected, as was the comfort she felt being near him. He wore
jeans today, faded and stained, with a Billabong t-shirt. Not anything special.
Not anything that should make her palms damp or her heart race. It must be his
cologne reminding her of what could have been. If she’d had the courage to
confront him about Maggie before the wedding, maybe fear wouldn’t have exploded
in her while she stood at the altar with him. Maybe he wouldn’t have left town
without hearing her out.

But he had, pride
propelling him out of her life faster than his motorcycle could spin out of the
church parking lot. And God had given her Joey.

"I didn’t
name him after Joe." she said. "Even though I wasn’t a Christian yet,
I knew the story of Joseph. When he chose to forgive his brothers, he said what
was meant for evil God turned for good." She paused, aware of Alec’s
intense concentration. "It always stuck with me. When I found out I was
pregnant, I remembered the story. And so I named him Joseph."

Alec propped his
elbows on his knees. His forehead creased. "Do you think we were wrong to
be intimate before marriage?"

"Don’t you?"

"Of course."
He twisted towards her. "It was wrong of me in a lot of ways to pressure
you into that kind of intimacy." Shadows darkened his eyes and Katrina
couldn’t look away. Was this his way of saying sorry for not answering her
calls? His apology for leaving her to raise their son alone, however
unintentional?

"You didn’t
pressure me." Soft words to soothe the wounds. "I think we should
have waited for marriage, but you never pushed me into something I didn’t want.
I loved you."

Alec reached over
and took her right hand, skimmed his thumb over the top, then lifted it and
pressed it to his lips. They were soft and dry against her wrist.

In the background
cheers rose from the stands, the air vibrated with the shouts of excited
parents. But those sounds faded as he came closer. Here and now, she could only
smell his cologne, could only see his golden eyes as he leaned toward her.

Alec shifted
closer. Katrina’s eyes widened, unshielded by glasses today, and he saw fear
flash through their silvery depths. With an effort he pulled back and shoved
his hands through his hair.

There was no
mistaking the relieved loosening of her lips and anger began to stir inside.
Was he so horrible that the thought of his kiss terrified her? He pushed aside
the self-loathing that seemed to eat through the armor around his heart and
grasped hold of anger. Hot, searing rage. It felt better. He could control it.
Inching away from her, he focused on the tight clasp of her hands. His gaze lifted
to her face.

"You didn’t
wear glasses today, Katrina."

"They’re
reading glasses." 

Alec sensed her
confusion at the change in his tone. "And yet you never leave home without
them. I bet that’s one thing you’ve never lost."

"Actually,"
her lips, pink with heat, curved and he forced his gaze away. "The pair
you usually see are my ninth set."

"I was
referring to your fear."At the startled move of her head, Alec wished he
could take it back. Wished he hadn’t just made her look like a fish jerked out
of the water. But bitterness lurked within, and it pulsed stronger than his
regret.

She still stared
at him, mouth parted. In hurt, he supposed.

"Yes, your
fear. Don’t look so shocked, Katrina. Kids didn’t call you Owl for nothing.
Hiding behind glasses is only one of your many endearing, yet revealing,
traits. You say you loved me?" His voice hardened. "Does love leave
the loved standing alone?"

"There were
other issues." Her voice had gone whispery thin.

He had to lean
forward to hear her. That was a mistake, because she smelled of butter and
vanilla, and it reminded him that only minutes ago she’d been happy. Now her
eyes were suspiciously bright. She wouldn’t control him with tears. He’d seen
his mother try that trick too many times, not to mention the women he’d dated.

"Other
issues? Why don’t you elaborate?"

Her face paled. To
his surprise, she scrambled to her feet. His eyes fastened on long, tanned legs
before followed suit.

"I’m not a
slave to fear anymore, Alec." Her voice turned firm. "If you don’t
want to own up to the issues, fine. I need your help with my store but that’s
as much of a relationship as we’re going to have. Business only."

"Really?" 

"Yes."
That didn’t come out as firm and Alec watched with fascination as color rose in
her cheeks. Whether from temper or embarrassment, he wasn’t sure. He hoped
anger. He wanted her as unsettled as he was.

"We’ll see.
Your store is far from sold and until it is, I’m not leaving."

"Professional
only."

"Fear
speaking again?"

"Logic. We
have nothing in common." Katrina grimaced. "You’re a successful
entrepreneur who does stuff I don’t understand. I’m a small town girl."

"You had big
dreams once, Kitty."

"I’m not
done." She eyed him, tilting her head and looking so sweetly beautiful
that Alec wondered if he should just kiss her. Forget the bitterness, forget
the pain. Just kiss her. But then he remembered the look on her face moments
before and knew he’d fight with her any day rather than have her pull away from
him again.

Her hands went to
her hips. "Have you gone to church at all since being here?"

He cocked an
eyebrow. "Why do you care?"

"Because I
go every Sunday and Wednesday, plus I volunteer in different ministries."

What did that
have to do with anything? He glowered at her. "Good for you. Maybe we
should call you Saint instead of Kitty."

Her forehead wrinkled.
"I’m only saying our values are probably very different. The first day you
came into Kat’s Korner, I told you I was different. And you." She stepped
close to him and her finger traced the lines at the corners of his eyes. "You’re
different too." Her hand moved away and Alec stood very still. He’d
forgotten how it felt to be touched like that. Without lust or anger, but with
compassion and gentleness. Deliberately, he unclenched his fists.

"You’re right,
Kitty. I’m successful now. I’ve been places, known celebrities, dated models."
He stopped, the bitterness nearly choking him. "But I’ve never known my
only son."

Cheers from the
bleachers filled the space between them. Katrina looked toward the field, and
Alec couldn’t see her face. He hadn’t meant to sound accusing. His pride had
kept him from her, and unwittingly, from his child. He was only now realizing
that. His teeth ground. It would be so easy to lay the entire situation at her
feet.

She turned back
to him. "So you dated models?"

"Some."
He exhaled, relieved she hadn’t taken his comment as blame. And he wanted to
tell her that none of the women with their expensive perfumes and manicured
nails were as beautiful as her. But he didn’t. He said instead, "And you?
Dated any noteworthy guys?"

The flush on her
cheeks deepened. "The papers mentioned you and that model. You know, the
one in Victoria’s Secret. What was she like?"

She’d evaded his
question neatly. Brought up a woman he’d dated years ago. Was he imagining the
jealousy in her voice? Wishing for it? The thought she might care suffocated
any remaining embers of anger.

"She’s
lovelier in person than in picture." Alec grinned as her lips tightened.
It probably wasn’t very Christian to enjoy her response but he wasn’t sure he
could help it. He forced his lips into a more somber line. "Don’t tell me
you haven’t dated anyone?"

Her lovely mouth
pressed white and her gray eyes sparked. "Dating was not at the top of my
priorities."

"Have you
even kissed anyone since me?"

Her lips parted,
then clamped closed. Her lashes swept down over her cheeks before flaring up. "That’s
none of your business."

"Just
curious," he said softly, the truth suddenly settling deep within his soul,
despite the hurt that still lingered, despite the anger. "Because I intend
to make you mine."

Her body
noticeably stiffened. He wasn’t sure if it was irritation or shock that made
her straighten like that, but he found himself holding in a surprising urge to
laugh.

"That’s an
outrageous thing to say, Alec."

It
was
outrageous. He knew that. He also knew he never wanted to let her go again,
regardless of what she’d done to him. He reached out and tucked a strand of
hair behind her ear. "Nevertheless, true. I should’ve never left you here
by yourself."

"I left you."

"No, you ran
to the rectory like a scared rabbit." A rush of memory spiked through him,
the sound of her anguished sobs, the catch in her breath when he’d burst in and
told her it was over. He’d been humiliated, his heart torn to pieces by her
rejection. And he hadn’t waited for an explanation, had just stormed away from
the church, away from the town, away from the pain.

But emptiness
could not be escaped from so easily. Not until he’d walked to the altar and
given his life to Christ had he even felt close to whole.

"I wasn’t
scared." Katrina’s clear gaze pulled him from his memories.

"You
could’ve fooled me." Alec shoved his hands into his pockets.

Katrina looked
away. Now was the moment for truth, she thought. So why did she feel so
hesitant, so unsure? She hugged herself tighter and wished the sun was not
sinking so quickly, nor the day ending so badly. "Maybe I was a little.
But that was a long time ago." She paused. "Before you got distracted
thinking about your love life, I was trying to make a point." She
swallowed, uncomfortably aware of how much his love life bothered her.

Alec’s eyebrow
arched and she scowled. "This is the point. Just because I had your child
and am letting you help with Kat’s Korner doesn’t mean you can parade around
like a peacock and try to own me. What we had was a long time ago, between two
different people."

And that was
that. So what if his crooked smile was making her stomach feel like a net full
of butterflies? She didn’t deserve his kindness. A trick, maybe to hurt her?
Would he do that?

Alec grabbed her
hands and pulled her to him before she could react. "Let’s go fishing."
His eyes glinted and she could feel the rapid thud of his heart beneath her
fists.

She closed her
eyes, images from the past bombarding her. Him, triumphant, bass held high as
she snapped a picture. His eyes gleaming with the pleasure of victory as he
pulled her close for a kiss. And the gurgling of the creek behind them, the
warmth of the summer’s breeze brushing past her face, the cicadas singing in
the trees above.

Could she resist
the allure of her memories?

With a sigh of
defeat, Katrina pulled away and opened her eyes. "Tomorrow night, by old
Mr. Daniel’s house. I’ll bring the equipment, you bring the snacks."

Alec inclined his
head, a half-smile on his lips. "See you then, Kitty." He turned and
left. She studied his retreating back and hoped fishing with him wouldn’t be a
mistake. She watched him until he disappeared from beneath the park lights.
With a glance toward the field she saw little leaguers dispersing, some with
slumped shoulders and others whooping gleefully.