Relinquish: Book II of the Rising Trilogy (26 page)

A slew of snide remarks flit through my mind, but I bite my tongue down on every one of them, remembering how just yesterday I’d wished for one more chance to speak to him and here I am picking a fight.

“We need to talk.” As Eamon sinks back into his chair and I return to the bed, I lay out all of the details of the events leading up to now, being sure to edit a few of the details for my time spent with Aloysius. I don’t want to dwell on that any more than I have to.

By the time I’ve brought him up to the events of this afternoon, Eamon has leaned forward, his elbows against his knees and fingers steeple before him. “So you’re only under the king’s control when you’re with him, right?”

“Yes, but so far Bastien has remained relatively normal. I think Aloysius’s pride believes me so tightly
wound around his finger that Bastien no longer matters. We act like complete strangers when anyone is around, apart from Alesta, of course.”

“And you trust her?”

I nod. “Bastien still keeps an eye on her, but she has given me no reason to doubt her yet.”

“Only one slip could be fatal, Illyria,” he warns.

I smirk. “Now you sound exactly like Bastien.”

“Well, in this case, I’ll take that as a compliment. You can’t be too careful.” He leans back in the chair, closing his eyes. “I’ve seen this played out over and over in my mind. Spent the past year watching you fall in love with Aloysius again and again. He’s the reason I lost you.”

“You know that isn’t true. You pushed us apart long ago.” I speak softly but know the sting of my words will still hurt.

Staring across the room at him now, I regret the way we parted ways. Him broken and me confused and tormented. None of this ever should have happened. He should have been the one giving me a shoulder to cry on, not Bastien. “I know how hard it must’ve been for you to look into my future, to know that someday I would be sitting right here, but you should have trusted me.”

Eamon twitches as he sits up. “You think I didn’t trust you?”

“What else could I think?”

He blows out a breath, shaking his head. “It was never about my lack of trust in you. It was a lack of faith in my own abilities.”

I curl my finger around a strand of hair, contemplating what he has just revealed. Then it hits me. I jerk upright in bed. “You saw something else, didn’t you?”

The sound of the keypad unlocking and the door opening sounds distant to me. I don’t realize Bastien has returned until I feel his hand upon my arm. “Illyria? What’s wrong?”

I don’t look away from Eamon. “He was just about to tell me what little detail he forget to mention about my future.”

Bastien’s grip tightens on my arm. He swivels his head to stare at Eamon, but he doesn’t notice either of our gazes. His eyes are downturned, focused on the floor. “Eamon?”

His shoulders rise and fall as he takes a deep breath. “I didn’t see any point in telling you…”

“Well, there is now,” Bastien growls as he raises his arm to grip my shoulder. “So start talking.”

Eamon clears his throat before he speaks. “For the past year I’ve been monitoring Illyria’s future, trying to find some way of altering it. I know it’s impossible, but the thought of losing her to that monster… It was more than I could bear.”

Surprisingly, Bastien nods in agreement. “So what haven’t you told her?”

“There’s nothing to see past her wedding night. It’s all blank.”

Bastien stiffens beside me, but I don’t react. This isn’t a surprise to me. “I’ve already seen that, Eamon. I know what happens.”

“You never said…” Eamon trails off, lifting his head to look at me.

I shrug. “What was the point in hurting you even more? I get married to an evil monster. End of story.”

Bastien and Eamon both cry out.

“How can you be so apathetic about this?” Bastien asks.

I release the breath I feel like I’ve been holding for over a year. “Because it haunts my dreams every night.”

“You’ve known all this time,” Eamon whispers, plunging his hands into his unruly curls. “I was trying to save you from this. To protect you from the pain.”

“And all you did was alienate her and force her to deal with this on her own. Smooth move,” Bastien growls beside me. I can feel his anger in the strength of his grip upon my arm.

“I didn’t know.” Eamon protests, beginning to rise from his chair. Bastien’s grip on my arm slackens and I know he is going to rise up to meet him.

“Stop it!” I cry, surging to my feet. “I am sick and tired of you two bickering. You’re family, for goodness sake!”

Eamon comes to a complete halt, blinking rapidly. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

Bastien groans. “Great. This is exactly how I wanted him to hear the news.”

I could kick myself for letting Bastien’s secret slip out, but in the heat of the moment, I used what ammo I had available. “I’m sorry, Eamon. That wasn’t… I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

Bastien shifts uncomfortably beside me. I look to him for help, and he shoves his hands deep into his pockets. “Turns out you and I are brothers. Funny that, huh?”

Eamon stares at him with open disbelief. He looks between Bastien and me, waiting for one of us to start laughing. When neither of us crack, he sinks back into his chair. “You’re my brother?” he repeats, as if needing to hear it out loud for it to be true.

“Yeah. I pretty much reacted the same way. Sucks, huh?” Bastien says, blowing out a breath.

“Yeah.” Eamon snorts. “Little bit.”

I close my eyes and think over how completely opposite these two guys are. Night and day. Fire and ice. Summer and winter. And yet, under Eamon’s overprotective nature and Bastien’s sarcastic swagger, both men love deeply and fully. Perhaps, in the ways the matter most, they aren’t so different after all.

Twenty-One

It feels weird watching Bastien and Eamon try to figure out how to be civil with each other, if for no other reason than to give this brother thing a shot. I know it won’t last, but it’s kind of nice for a change.

“Where are the others? Are they close by?” I ask, interrupting their hushed conversation. I know they were talking about me.

Eamon lifts his head and glances back at me. I sit propped up in bed, fighting against a yawn. The pillows are far too comfortable and the blanket warming and inviting.

“Kyan and the girls are here now, but more will be arriving soon. Carleon has gone into the villages to collect soldiers loyal to our cause. We’ll be ready to fight.”

“There isn’t enough time,” I whisper, fiddling with the edge of the sheet. “I’m to be married in two days.”

I half expect Eamon to rise in anger or throw something, but instead he simply lowers his head, as if he already knew. And then I realize he did.

“And until then? Where will you go?” Bastien questions Eamon, staring past him to the night sky. Already, the distant horizon has begun to lighten.

“We won’t be far. There’s an old series of mines under the woods that lead to the ocean. Kyan knows them well. We’ll use that as our base for now while we gather support.” Eamon slowly rises, obviously reluctant to leave, but he must with the coming dawn.

“Wait!” I stretch out a hand toward him. “Please, don’t go yet.”

I look to Bastien, pleading silently to understand my need to say good-bye. No one really knows what’ll happen during the next two days. The one thing I do know is that I need all the support and love I can get to face it.

Bastien’s lips press thin, but he nods and closes the door to his room behind him. Eamon rubs the back of his neck nervously as I rise from the bed and move toward him. I watch as his gaze flits down over my dress in the moonlight before he looks away. “I should get back. I’ve been gone longer than planned. Kyan will be worried.” His voice is raw with emotion. “I just needed to know that you’re safe.”

I reach for his hand and draw him near. I can feel his hesitation even as I wrap his arms about me and place my head upon his chest. Months of pain and loneliness rise up as tears gather in the corners of my eyes. This is what I needed. To simply be held.

“I’m sorry about before,” I whisper as my fingers trail across the black material of his shirt. I can feel muscle beneath it, tensing and releasing as he breathes.

He presses his cheek against my head, finally sealing me into his embrace. “I never meant to hurt you. I just… I didn’t know how to say good-bye.”

His hands splay across my back, warm and comforting. I press my face against his neck, smiling at the rapid pulse I find thrumming there. “I’ve missed you,” I whisper.

Eamon pulls back. His ice-blue eyes are tender as he smiles down at me. “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”

And I know that he means every word of it. Gone are the worry lines in his forehead and about his eyes. There is still reason to fear, but in this moment, he lets it all wash away. It’s sad that it took us coming to this point for him to finally realize there was nothing he could’ve done to prevent this. The gift of a seer is a curse and a blessing, depending on what you do with it.

I close my eyes as he reaches up to cup the back of my neck. He leans in and gently brushes his lips against mine, so softly I hardly know he is there. I lean up into him, unwilling to let him leave. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I crush my lips against his, rising onto my tiptoes to close the height distance.

Eamon’s hand upon my back flinches as I press into him, pushing him against the wall, molding to his lean frame. When I draw back, I can see a change in him. My Eamon is back. He smiles and clears his throat as I step back. “Wow.” He chuckles. “We should fight more often.”

The distant sky is painted with vivid greens and yellows, chasing the night away. He reaches out for me one last time, squeezing my hand. “I have to go, but I’ll be back.”

As he turns to slip back through the window, I feel the pain of his leaving. He pauses, crouching low. “Be careful. Stay close to Bastien. I know he’ll keep you safe.”

I nod as he slips from the window, disappearing into the shadows of the hedgerow that lines the foundation of the palace. Leaning forward, I strain to see his dark figure darting across the grounds. I gasp as he leaps behind a tree a mere second before a guard appears, swinging a light as he walks up the stone path leading away from the stables.

I release a breath as Eamon waits for him to pass and then darts for the woods. Being able to see the future does have its rewards from time to time.

Once I know he is safely hidden by the tree line, I sink to the floor, watching as the sun begins to rise. It feels weird to me, knowing it should be rising in the east like back home, but here the sun trails north to south. There are still so many things about this place that feel odd to me. Will I ever truly be able to call this planet home?

“You okay?” I turn and look up at Bastien. I never heard his footsteps but I could feel his approach. His handsome features are pinched, his emotions under tight reign. I sigh, knowing how hard it must’ve been for him to wait in his room for Eamon to leave. We have done this before and it didn’t end well for anyone. His eyes look dull as I shrug. “I guess you two talked?”

I wrap my arms about myself as I rise, feeling a chill that contradicts the warm morning breeze flowing in through my open window. “Please don’t do this.”

“Do what? Care?” The bite in his tone makes me grimace. I know this look, this body language all too well. I was forced to watch it while in Kyan’s camp a year ago. The steady progression of his withdrawal had nearly destroyed me then. I can’t go through this again.

“We both knew this would happen. Sariana said we can’t change fate.”

“Fate?” He snorts, shaking his head. “This is you I’m talking about, Illyria. I don’t care what some old lady saw in a vision. I don’t live my life based on what-ifs. I believe in what I can see and feel.” He takes a step forward and my breath hitches at his nearness. “I believe in you. That’s all that matters right now.”

“And Eamon?” I press.

His gaze narrows, but he doesn’t show any other reaction. “He’s a distraction that you don’t need right now. We need to get you through the next two days, and whatever happens after… well, it just happens.”

I hate the resignation I hear in his voice, as if I have already begun to slip between his fingers and he’s just waiting for the final separation. “You know,” I say, looking up at him, “the only thing I ever truly wanted was for you to fight for me.”

His jaw clenches as he turns and walks back to his room in silence. I almost think he’s going to shut the door on me, but he turns back with his hand upon the knob. “I did, every night in my dreams.”

The rest of the day passes in an absolute blur as I am whisked from one decorator to the next. Flowers are thrust before my nose, tiny squares of sweet-tasting sponge are shoved into my mouth, and my hair is yanked in so many directions I fear I’ll be forced to wear a wig to cover up the bald spots on my wedding day.

Alesta is a lifesaver. While I spent the day before sleeping restlessly in bed, she was bustling about, making preparations. Sometime around noon, Aloysius came in to find me waist deep in bolts of material, my hair frazzled and my stomach churning from too many sweets, but he looked pleased, and in his presence, it all felt worth it.

The instant he left, I wanted to die.

Despite the enthusiasm Alesta has shown in the royal wedding preparations, I can sense sadness in her. She knows how desperately I don’t want this wedding. As she sits me down before a table of endless meal selections, she squeezes my hand, offering me a smile.

I suppose she thinks if she keeps me busy enough, I won’t really feel the terror rising up within me. Perhaps she would be right if I weren’t dealing with my own inner turmoil.

Bastien and Eamon, together again. There is no part of this situation that will end well.

Both will be heartbroken. One may not survive.

The stress of this wedding pushes me to the brink. “Enough!” I shout as I toss down my napkin. I feel ill, not
just from the rich foods I’ve consumed, but from how quickly the room has begun to spin about me.

Alesta looks up in surprise. I smile weakly at her and motion for her to approach. She whispers her apologies to the servants who’ve been underfoot to the point that I’m constantly tripping over them.

“Illyria?” she whispers as she kneels beside me. “Are you okay?”

I sink back in my chair, pressing my hand to my forehead. “I can’t keep this ruse up any longer,” I mutter. “I need air. I need to get away.”

She smiles as she pats my hand and rises. “I believe the final decisions have been made. Our lady is weary from the day and would like to rest. Please see to it that all of the food selections are prepared for tomorrow’s festivities.”

The group of men and women, all dressed in fine purple dresses and suits trimmed with golden tassels and buttons, bow and hurry from the room. Alesta waits for the doors to close before she lowers down beside me once more. “I’m sorry that took so long. It was important that we blended your tastes with the king’s.”

“But I don’t care,” I whisper, feeling how dry my mouth has become. “I don’t care what he likes, what he wants, what he thinks will make me happy.”

Alesta’s gaze shifts about the room. “You shouldn’t say such things. People will hear.”

“Maybe I don’t really care.” I slump in my chair.

“You must!” She clasps my arm so suddenly I cry out in surprise, but she doesn’t let go. “If the king knew you were not under his control at all times, he would seek to change that. Who knows the damage he could do if he dug deeper into your brain.”

I watch as she shudders. “You really care, don’t you?”

She smiles. “Of course I care. You are to be my queen.”

I place a hand over hers, grateful to have a friend within the palace. “I need you to swear something for me.” She waits expectantly as I lean in to whisper in her ear. “Don’t let Bastien out of your sight after the wedding.”

“Bastien?” She draws back. “Why would you
care—” She breaks off with a sigh. “I knew there was something between you two.”

I wave her off. “It was a thing that could never be, but I know him far too well. When the fighting starts, he will head straight for me. I need you to promise that you’ll do everything you can to stop him. I can’t bear for him to get hurt.”

She lowers her gaze. “I’ve warned my family not to attend the wedding. If their absence doesn’t go unnoticed, they could be punished.”

Grasping her arm, I wait for her to look up at me. “I promise I won’t let that happen. No one else will die under the hand of the king.”

I pace beside my window, wringing my hands as I watch the moon rise. Eamon should’ve been here by now. What if something went wrong? What if he was captured trying to see me again?

“Psst.” A whisper slips past the curtains. I whirl around, searching the darkness

“Eamon?” I push aside the privacy screen to look out over my window but can’t see anything.

“Step back.” I hardly have a chance to get out of his way as he swings down from above and lands lightly in my room, the screen clattering as it swings back into place. As he straightens, I throw myself in his arms, relieved to see him safe.

“I was so worried. I thought you’d be here at sunset, but it’s been hours.”

Eamon cups my face with both hands and gently brushes his lips across mine. He pulls back and smiles. “Hi.”

I laugh and sink into his embrace. “Hi back.”

“What’s going on out—” Bastien cuts off as the light spilling from his room illuminates us. He goes rigid. “Never mind. I’ll leave you two alone.”

“No,” I call as he turns. “You don’t have to go.”

“He doesn’t?” Eamon arches an eyebrow.

I ignore him and step out of his arms. “Please, Bastien. You need to hear this too.”

He hesitates, obviously not wanting to be anywhere near Eamon at the moment, but he turns and leans back against the wall, in the room but with some definite distance between us. That will have to do.

I turn back to Eamon. “Why were you late?”

“There was a skirmish over in Merolina, a city about fifty miles south of here. Carleon ran into some trouble and we had to bail him out.”

“Is he okay?” I can’t bear the thought of something happening to Carleon.

“Yeah. Kyan managed to wipe the guard’s memories with the help of Balan and Delyth.”

I remember the first time I met Balan. I was mesmerized by his ability to transport people from one place to another in the blink of an eye. He’d been one of the reasons we managed to survive Drakon’s attack when he discovered Kyan’s base in the mountains. Balan fought bravely then and ever since. I’m grateful to have him here.

“What about the girls?” Bastien asks, giving me a knowing glance. Of course he knows I’m terrified that Aminah and Zahra are here. They were never cut out for this life. They are peaceful… Well, at least Aminah is. Zahra can be a fighter when provoked.