Relinquish: Book II of the Rising Trilogy (10 page)

“Exactly,” I roar, leaping into the middle of their conversation. “You didn’t think.”

A strong gust whips my hair against my neck. A second sends a flurry of icicles lancing toward the ground. “Illyria?” Bastien shifts.

“I’m on it.” I grit my teeth and take another round of calming breaths. It helps, minimally, but I’m still ticked at Eamon’s deception. Bastien is right. He should’ve known.

I try to focus on things other than the frustrations simmering within. Like the fact that Bastien’s hair has been cut short and spiked up at the front.
Why didn’t I notice that when he saved me back at Drakon’s hideout? I liked him better with longer hair.

Another stark change is his eyes, deep sapphire and filled with emotion. The dull, lifelessness of them has
haunted my dreams for months. The day I chose Eamon over him, the glow was drawn from his gaze. It hurts now knowing I’m not the reason for bringing that life back to him.

A new scar runs down the hollow of his cheek, still bearing the reddened signs of new flesh. Another faded scar appears over his right eye, a few shades lighter than the warm tone of his skin. He is bathed in a bronze glow that speaks of hours spent in the sun.

Gone is the boy who swept me off my feet not so long ago, showering me with kisses that could’ve melted the ice caps. Standing before me now, I see a battle hardened man who seems a bit too adept at keeping his thoughts in check.

As the winds die back down, Bastien releases a breath I hadn’t known he was holding. His hand shifts away from his side and I realize with a start that he had been reaching for a stun gun.

“You would have shot her?” Eamon rages, surging past me to face off with Bastien, whose gaze never leaves mine.

“I remember what happened the last time she lost control.” Finally, he shifts to look at Eamon. “Have you forgotten?”

“Of course not. I seem to remember you were the exact reason she nearly wiped Thalar off the map.”

“Exactly,” Bastien growls, rising to his full height. “Which is exactly why you should have warned her ahead of time.”

Ice and fire go toe to toe yet again. I hold my breath, silently pleading for an end.
I can’t do this again. I just can’t!

“Enough!” Both men turn to look at me, then shift their gaze beyond me. I look to my left and groan, realizing when I threw out my arms, I also tore the trees on either side of me up from the ground by their roots. “Oh, for goodness sake,” I grumble and chuck the maple trees aside as if they were mere sticks instead of hundred-year-old timbers.

“You two bickering like the old days isn’t going to solve this. Bastien is here to take me back to his base and I’m ready to leave.”

“But—” Eamon grabs my hand and yanks me toward him. I stumble on my footing and slam into his chest, crying out as my nose connects with his breastbone, and then slump to the ground.

Bastien is instantly at my side. I cry out as Bastien slams his foot into Eamon’s abdomen and sends him sprawling. “Touch her again and I promise you’ll regret it,” he threatens ominously as he stands between us, shielding me.

“Just let it go, Bastien,” I mutter as I rub the end of my nose to make sure nothing is broken.

He whirls around, staring at me with sheer disbelief. “You’re just going to take that from him?”

“It’s not… He’d didn’t mean to hurt me. He was just upset…” I trail off, knowing my lame explanation isn’t helping Eamon’s case.

“She’s not yours to protect anymore,” Eamon grunts as he rises, clutching his ribs. No doubt Carleon will have to do some repair work on him when we get back to camp. “She’s mine.”

He just had to go one step further, didn’t he?
I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose as a pounding begins to grow.

I don’t have time to react before he is atop Eamon, rolling side to side as he land blows hard enough to bruise bone.

“Well, this is going well,” a voice calls from behind me.

I turn to see Carleon walking toward me. “How did you find us?”

“It wasn’t too hard, what with the tree tossing and all the shouting.” He stares past me, shaking his head. “Was this what it was like before Bastien left?”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “Something like this.”

“Looks like Bastien hasn’t forgotten you after all.” He glances at me from the corner of my eye.

My lips thin into lines of annoyance. “Either you stop them or I will.”

Carleon watches as Bastien rears back and slams his fist into Eamon’s nose. Blood splatters fly at the sound of cracking bone. “You might want to take this one. I don’t fancy getting in the middle of that.”

“Fine.” I heave a sigh and mentally wrench to the guys apart, pinning them on trees lining opposite ends of the clearing. “Cool off,” I command.

“Let me down,” Eamon growls, fighting against my hold.

“Not when you’re about to do something you’ll regret.”

Eamon locks a crazed glare onto Bastien, his lips peeled back into a full snarl. “I’d never regret it.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Bastien goads. His right eye looks a bit worse for wear, but it’s no surprise to see he’s in far better shape than Eamon. He always was a great fighter.

“Enough!” I slowly lower both of them to the ground, ready to yank them apart again if necessary. Thankfully, it isn’t.

The sound of a laser charging surprises me. I turn to find Carleon with his gun leveled on Eamon. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Eamon’s eyes narrow. “You would threaten your commanding officer?”

“Nope. I’m threatening my friend.”

Under normal circumstances, I would have found the unusually serious edge to Carleon’s tone amusing. Despite his brash and rather reckless sense of duty to protect me, I am proud of him. “It’s okay.” I place a hand over his arm, urging him to power down. “I can handle this.”

“I know, but I’ve got your back, just in case.”

Bastien appraises Carleon. “I think this guy’s starting to grow on me.”

“That’s because he’s on your side,” Eamon snaps. He slumps back against the tree, looking winded and forlorn. He shakes his head back and forth, eyes clamped shut as if what he’s feeling is a physical pain. Judging by the beating he took from Bastien, he probably is.

I lower my gaze, unable to see him like this. “I have to leave, Eamon. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t even look at me. I bite on my lower lip and turn away. I clap Carleon on the arm as I pass. “Take care of him for me.”

“Of course.” He smiles and pats my hand as I let it slip away. “Let’s talk over here.”

I let him pull me aside, feeling as if I’m about to unravel at the seams. My fingers quake as he takes me into his arms. “Are you okay? That got pretty intense back there.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“And what about Bastien?” Carleon casts a pointed glance in his direction.

Even now, looking at him feels like a punch to the gut—wonderful, amazingly painful.
Why does he have to look so irresistible even when he’s angry?
“He’s just a guy, right?”

Carleon laughs. “Sure.” He continues to stare at Bastien, so I elbow him in the ribs. “Sorry. It’s just…” He leans in closer to whisper in my ear. “I think I sort of have a man crush on him.”

A giggle bursts past my lips. I bury it in his shoulder as I feel some of the earlier tension lift momentarily. Leave it to him to make me laugh when I need it most. “I’m serious. Have you seen that guy?”

I sober instantly. “Yes, every night in my dreams.”

Carleon grimaces. “Sorry. Guess that wasn’t the best thing to say.”

“Don’t worry about it. I think Bastien has that effect on most people.” I pat him on the back and pull away from his embrace. “Thank you, for everything.”

Bastien casts a darkened glance at Eamon but says nothing as he turns to follow me. The walk back to camp is silent and unsettling. It feels weird for him to be here beside me, but even more so that he didn’t hesitate a second to leap to my defense.

I know Eamon didn’t intend to hurt me. He was upset and didn’t realize how hard he pulled me forward, but Bastien doesn’t know him like I do.

The pounding in my head mounts as I spy a spiral of smoke rising from the center of camp. Tents have been set up and appear to be occupied. Bodhi’s droning snores escape from the canvas near the rear of camp. I grab my pack and sling it over my shoulder.

No farewell. No wishes for a successful mission. “Are you ready?” Bastien asks.

I glance one last time around my camp and feel a surprising, yet profound sense of homesickness. “Yes. I’m ready.”

Nine

The winds whistle through the trees, whipping my hair against my face and tangling with my downturned lashes, but I hardly notice. I feel completely out of sorts, not just over having left Eamon in such a terrible way, but also because of who it is that walks before me

Bastien.

Seeing him twice in one month is almost more than I can fathom. I used to dream about what it would be like to see him again. Would he still be the haunted man I’d grown to hate or the smug boy who could irritate me with whip-like speed? What I find before me is neither of those yet both at the same time. He is a walking contradiction that shouldn’t even be here to start with.

I don’t like how distracted I feel, how my gaze keeps rising enough to notice the way his uniform fits his muscular form to perfection. He has put on some weight since I last saw him, but it is housed in thick ropes of muscles. I can see it in the definition of his calves as he leaps over small trickling streams and weaves around downed trees.

Strong, powerful arms propel him over rocks large enough to provide a challenge. He moves with the ease and grace of a man who grew up in the forest, yet I know he didn’t.

The sunlight overhead is dappled, ever shifting with the waving evergreen branches. The scent of pine is strong as we begin our final descent, emerging from the mountains into smaller foothills. More of the large hill variety, really.

I pause atop a boulder, partially sunken into the dark, fertile soil, to stare out at the landscape before me. Once-beautiful oak and maple trees now stand barren, squeezed out by a thick overgrowth of pine and spruce. Needle boughs dance in the winds, carrying their scent for miles.

The sky is clear today. No hint of cloud for as far as I can see. The rich blue is breathtaking, the fresh air filling my lungs invigorating, burning in my throat.

I can hear Bastien’s feet crunching a noisy path along the snowy forest floor ahead. Last year’s leaves have been trampled underfoot by wildlife, beginning the stages of decomposition that will feed the earth for another year. Pinecones poke up from the snow amid a blanket of browned needles.

Bastien pauses and glances back over his shoulder at me. I try not to acknowledge that my gaze automatically searches his eyes. What is it that I am looking for? I don’t really know the answer to that. Maybe a sign that he missed me as much as I missed him.

Keep your head down and move. One foot in front of the other. That’s all that matters right now
, I silently scold as I leap to the ground and hurry to catch up.

I keep pace with Bastien as the sun climbs the sky, chasing away the shadows from the land, but I remain back several feet. His questioning gaze unsettles me. Bastien has always seen too much, known and understood far more than he should about me. It was one of the things that annoyed me in the beginning but then endeared me to him in the end.

He never asked me to be anything but what I was. He believed in me when all others feared me. He alone loved me for exactly who I am.

There have been several backward glances and troubled looks as we wind through an unseen path, ever moving south. Although he plows ahead with the same confidence that Eamon showed, there is something disturbingly different about Bastien. It is almost as if this land is well known to him.

Has he been here before? Been within only a few days of our city?
An even darker thought makes my pace slow.
Has he come into Thalar without my knowing?

My stomach begins to pinch uncomfortably as I try to tell myself that it doesn’t matter, but deep down, I know it does. How can it not?

He told me he would come back. I knew even as he spoke the words that he didn’t mean them, but what if something else had forced him to return, just like back at Drakon’s hideout? What if
someone
commanded it?

I grit my teeth as I duck low to avoid a low-hanging branch jutting across my path. It’s feathery needles brush along my head as I pass under. As I straighten, I realize
there is a slight stickiness left on the back of my neck.

The longer we walk, the more I realize it bothers me that Bastien doesn’t talk.
Shouldn’t he say something to me? Maybe an explanation for why he showed up just in time to save my life and then disappeared before I awoke.
But with that question comes another that makes my throat clench.
Shouldn’t I be thanking him for saving my life?

It bothers me that I know nothing about him now. Kyan had been very strict about not allowing me to know of his whereabouts. I’m not sure if he did this at Bastien’s request or for my own good. Either way, for over a year, Bastien just dropped off the face of the planet.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Aminah kept tabs on him through Toren. It would make sense for her to do that, not just for herself, but for me as well. She knew all too well what his leaving did to me. She, being the motherly figure of our small band of friends, always felt responsible for each of us. Although Bastien may not have been part of our group for long, he became family, and families don’t give up on each other, no matter how far apart they are.

Watching as he adjusts my pack on his back, I wonder for the hundredth time what his base looks like. I’ve heard tales from soldiers who move from squadron to squadron. They all seem to be in agreement that Bastien is not only a good leader, but a strict one at that. Funny that the boy who used to love to break all of the rules is now the one enforcing them.

Who are his friends? The people he confides in before heading into battle? Has he regressed back into his old habits? When I first found Bastien, he was alone in the Thalar, amidst thousands of enemy soldiers. He was a renegade, a hermit with a purpose.

A part of me thinks he liked having no one to order him about. He liked his freedom, to what little extent he could be free trapped within the confines of enemy territory. He had no one to care about. It was the way he wanted it… until he met me.

I blow out a shaky breath.
Why am I doing this to myself?

Using my sleeve, I wipe my brow clean of the sweat
that clings just below my hairline. Stray beads curve along my forehead, curling down into the corners of my eyes where it burns, blurring my vision. Despite the freezing winds, I feel warm.

I pause to lean against a tree, its light-colored bark smooth to the touch. It rises high over my head, so high that I have to crane my neck to see the handful of branches that spider out from the top ten feet. We don’t have trees like this where I’m from. Their unusual beauty isn’t lost on me as I unscrew the cap from my canteen and greedily suck down several gulps.

The water splashes out around my lips, pouring from my chin and onto my shirt. “Are you all right?” Bastien asks, coming back for me.

I’m sure he is taking note of the color that stains my neck and cheeks. “Yeah. I’m good.”

He gives me a knowing look and slings my pack off his shoulder, dropping into a crouch beside it on the ground before he reaches into his own bag. “I have some food to hold us over until we reach camp.”

He pulls a small cloth bundle from the pack and holds it out to me. “I didn’t realize we were so close to your base.”

“We’re not.” He resumes rummaging through the pack for a cup. “I meant our camp. In the woods. We are still a three-day’s hike from my base.”

The dried venison that I just bit into goes down with great difficulty as I swallow it whole. Anything is better than wolf meat. “Three days?” I choke, pounding on my chest.

I snatch my canteen and take another long drink, easing the burning in my throat. It settles heavily on my stomach. When I finally look over at Bastien, I can see his frustration. “Did they tell you nothing about this?”

“If you mean Kyan, then no, he told me nothing apart from what I’m supposed to be stealing.”

Bastien grinds his back teeth as he thrusts up to his feet and plants his hands on his hips, the silver cup dangling from one of his curled fingers. “Why would he do this? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Really?” I chuckle and hand him the canteen. He
accepts it without looking at me. “You haven’t figured it out yet?”

“What do you mean?” I hear water sloshing in his cup and then a single gulp as he downs his share of the water in one go. I sink to the ground, weary and exhausted but suddenly unwilling to even consider sleep.

“Kyan knew Eamon would never agree to this if he knew you were my guide and I…” I trail off, suddenly unsure of what my reaction would’ve been.

I wrap the venison back into its ball of cotton and toss it at Bastien, uninterested in eating anymore. As he digs out a chunk of meat, I draw my knees up into my chest and hug my legs close. “Why did you agree to this?”

As I wait for his answer, I become aware of the thick tree root I’ve sat upon. My gaze follows the intricate root system and I realize I’m completely surrounded. The only free space is beside Bastien. I decide to stay put, at least until my tailbone cracks or I tumble off.

“It was a mission of great importance. We both know that.”

“Yes.” I nod in agreement. There has never been a sighting this big. What if we could take out an entire enemy base? To actually steal one of their ships and be able to infiltrate their armada as they return soldiers back to Calisted?

I’ve often dreamed of what Kyan’s planet looks like. In my visions, it is bathed in delicate, shifting pastel colors. Flowers grow there, the likes of which I’ve never seen. Colors so vivid they seem fake, unnatural. Almost as if trapped within a dream world.

“But why did you accept it? Personally, I mean.” I glance over at him and see that he too has set aside the food.

The sunlight trickling from the canopy overhead highlights his dark hair. I realize with a start that our hair color is nearly identical now.

His face is lean, not in the same way that Kyan’s face has become drawn under the pressure of leading the rebellion on so many fronts, but almost as if he has finally grown into adulthood. His shoulders have broadened, as has his chest. He has filled out, grown another inch or so while he was gone.

His fingers are thin, but I know they hold great strength. Cords of muscle rise from his wrists, twining around his forearms and biceps. I lower my gaze to his chest and stop myself, remembering all too well what lies beneath the thin layer of his uniform.

“What I told Eamon was true.” He lifts his gaze to meet mine directly. “I trust no one else with your safety.”

I seize a clump of ice from the forest floor, testing its weight in my hand before I hurl it at a tree. It explodes on impact. I can hear the pattering of fragments raining down. “I can take care of myself.”

A slow, wistful smile curls Bastien’s lips as he nods. “You always have.”

“Then why come? Why you?” I can feel pressure beginning to form just behind my eyes. I hate the need to press him for an answer, yet I seem unable to stop myself.

Bastien’s shoulders rise and fall with a sigh. He turns his face away so I can only see his profile, keeping me from reading the emotions hidden within the depths of his eyes. “Because I had to.”

I lower my gaze and realize the pine needle I’ve been fiddling with between my fingers has nearly crumbled completely. I brush off the residue from my pants and lower my legs, crisscrossing them as I try to shift my weight into a less bumpy location.

On the horizon, I can see clouds brewing, dark and heavy laden. I frown and lower my gaze. I can feel the change in the air. A winter storm is on its way.

The silence that falls between us feels awkward. What is there to say that hasn’t already been said? This is a job for him. Nothing more. It should be the same for me.

“Do you want to tell me what all of that was about back there?”

I blink, confused by the tension in his voice. His grip on his leg, drawn up into his chest, is tight enough that I can see the muscles flexed beneath the skin of his uniform. He doesn’t look at me. Instead, he casts his gaze far out into the woods.

“Not much to tell.” I shrug and feel my stomach begin to stir. Maybe I’m hungrier than I thought, but I’m not about to ask Bastien to pass the meat.

When he glances over at me, I am rocked by the depth of his open annoyance, and the familiarity of it. “Come on, Illyria. This is me you’re talking to. I know something is terribly wrong and I want to know what it is.”

I open my mouth to speak but instantly clamp it shut, biting down on my tongue. “I don’t see how it is any of your concern,” I finally respond coolly.

Bastien leans forward, releasing his leg so he can shift his entire body to face mine. He looks as if he’s about to say something so I leap in to interrupt. “You chose to walk out of my life, remember? I don’t owe you anything.”

His fingers clench into fists atop his lap, but he slowly releases them. I watch as color slowly seeps back in, stealing away the white that painted his hands. “I knew this wasn’t going to be easy––”

“Of course not.” I grit my teeth and flip my hair over my shoulder. It needs a good brushing and I could use a long soak. For the first time ever, I find myself wishing I were back in my room instead of in the forest. “What were you thinking showing up like that? You knew you’d set Eamon off!”