Release (19 page)

I got up from the waiting room chair to meet him in the hallway, wrapping my arms around his back. His body was stiff with tension.

“He’s asleep,” I said softly. It was almost two am, but I was too worried to sleep in the waiting room. I’d been watching Chloe, who was curled up in a big chair beside me in the waiting room snoring softly. “Your mom and Olivia are in there with him. I just checked on them about ten minutes ago.”

“I’m gonna go see them,” he said, kissing my forehead.

“Room 612. Right there.” I pointed and he headed for the door.

Luke and Dell came walking in the same way Orion had come. Luke wore suit pants and a fresh white dress shirt and dark tie. Dell was in track pants and a team shirt, a baseball cap making her look young.

“Hey,” she said, reaching out to hug me. I embraced her tightly.

“Thanks for bringing him,” I said, pulling away and looking between them. “It really means a lot. I was worried about him driving in this state.”

“No problem,” Luke said. “Is there anything we can do for you? You want some coffee?”

I shook my head. “I’m wide awake with worry.”

“Yeah. This is a bad deal.”

“We can go sit down.” I pointed into the waiting room.

They tried to make small talk, but I wasn’t up for it and we soon fell into a comfortable silence. Dell had fallen asleep with her head on Luke’s shoulder when Orion came into the waiting room, his eyes red and swollen.

Tears burned in my eyes as I got up and put my arms around him, holding him as he cried.

“He’s so small and helpless,” he said. “And Liv’s a complete wreck. I don’t even know what to say or do.”

“You’re here,” I said, stroking a hand over his back. “That’s the most important thing.”

He sat down in a waiting room chair, resting his elbows on his knees, which were spread far apart.

“You guys should go home,” he said to Luke and Dell.

“Is he stable?” Dell asked.

Orion nodded. “Yeah. His life isn’t in imminent danger right now because dialysis will help. But he’s still very sick.”

I sat down next to him and reached for his hand. “I’m here. I can take time off work and help with whatever they need. If you want to stay, stay. But if you need to work, I’ll be here.”

He squeezed my hand. “Thanks. I need to be here until he’s awake and we can talk to the doctors. If things are looking okay, I’ll catch a later flight in for the game.”

Dell stood. “I’ll take care of things with Dad. He can be a hard ass coach, but he’ll want you to focus on your family.”

She and Luke both hugged him again before they said goodbye and left. A nurse walked into the waiting room, a folded white blanket in her hands.

“Sorry it took me so long,” she said in a whisper.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Thank you.”

I spread the blanket out over Chloe and sat back down next to Orion. I was pretty sure there wouldn’t be any sleep for either of us tonight. He slipped his hand into mine and we sat together in silence.

Traffic in the hospital started to pick up around eight in the morning. A couple people wandered into the waiting room and sat down. I looked up from the magazine I was reading and saw Olivia walk in behind them.

“Hey,” she said with a weak smile. The dark circles under her eyes told me she hadn’t slept, either.

“Hi,” I said, standing to hug her.

“Thanks for being here,” she said.

“Of course. What can I do to help?”

She pulled away and met my eyes. “Actually, if you’d be able to take Chloe home to change clothes and get breakfast, and then drop her at school, that would be a huge help.”

“Sure.”

Chloe sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Mommy, is Drew okay?” she asked.

“He’s doing okay right now,” Olivia said, her voice tight with tension. “Samara’s going to help you get ready for school, okay? You can come back here after school.”

Chloe nodded. Orion leaned over to kiss me.

“You’re an angel,” he said.

“I can bring back coffee and breakfast,” I said. “Just text me what you guys want.”

He kissed me again and hugged Chloe and we set off.

There wasn’t a trace of the happy, bouncy little girl I was used to. Chloe was worried about her brother, and it broke my heart.

She typed a code into a keypad by the garage door of the small, neat home Olivia and her kids lived in. I helped her find clothes to wear and sat with her while she ate a bowl of Lucky Charms.

“Will you tell my mom to call my school if something bad happens to Drew?” she asked as we walked back out to my car, her blue eyes big and serious.

“Of course, honey.” I got down on my knees to look into her eyes. “The doctors are taking really good care of him, okay? Please try not to worry.”

“My mommy was crying.”

I smoothed a hand over her hair. “It’s hard for mommies when their babies are sick.”

“Will you pick me up from school today?”

“Yes. I’ll be there. And I’ll tell you how Drew’s doing as soon as I see you.”

She nodded and we got into the car. I dropped her off, walking her into the office and explaining why she was late. Then I drove through and got the coffee and sandwiches Orion had texted me about.

When I got back to the hospital, drink carrier and paper bag in hand, I stuck my head around the open door to Drew’s room. I didn’t want to interrupt anything.

“Hey,” Orion said softly. “Come in.”

“How is he?” I asked, setting my stuff down on a table. Orion was right – Drew looked so small and fragile. It didn’t seem right for all those tubes and machines to be connected to the boy who was always so vibrant and happy.

“Stable,” Orion said.

“Did you get Chloe to school okay?” Olivia asked.

“Yes. She asked if I can pick her up this afternoon. Is that okay?”

“That’d be great. Thank you.”

“The doctor’s coming in to talk to us about a kidney transplant,” Orion said.

“Really?”

Olivia wrapped her arms around herself, looking much better than she had earlier. “He won’t have to wait because I’m donating a kidney to him,” she said. “I already know I’m a blood type match. I’ve had this plan in the back of my mind all along if he ever needed it.”

Her resolve in that moment made me love her. She was the kind of mother I wanted to be one day.

“Olivia, I’m here for anything,” I said. “Anything at all.”

Orion’s mom Diane approached and wrapped me into a hug. “You’re a Godsend, Samara. We just adore you, honey.”

Like Olivia, Diane had the worn out look of a woman who’d been up all night worrying.

Orion wrapped his arm around my waist. “After we meet with the doctor I’m catching a plane to my game tonight. I’ll be back and forth during all this.”

I wrapped both my arms around his waist and held on tightly. The air in the room was still heavy with tension, but now there was also hope that together, we could pull through this. We had to. Losing the sweet little boy in that hospital bed wasn’t an option.

I went into work late the next day after dropping Chloe off at school. I’d told Liz I was having a family emergency and would need to work around it. She hadn’t questioned it, which I appreciated since I was pretty sure she knew I didn’t technically have a family.

Though I went through the motions of decorating cakes and helping customers, inside I was thinking about Drew, Olivia and Orion. It was a helpless feeling, seeing people I cared about hurting.

I’d never had people to care about like this. My instinct with Orion had been to maintain enough distance and independence that I could handle losing him if he ever changed his mind about me. But seeing his face when he came running down the hospital hallway had changed something in me.

With a sigh, I concentrated on the bunch of rainbow-colored balloons I was piping onto a cake. I was nearly finished when the ding of the bell at the bakery counter pulled me out of the spell I’d been under.

I looked up and met the gaze of Amy Munson. Great. She was the last person in the world I felt like dealing with right now. I kept my face blank as I grabbed my order pad and walked over.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I wasn’t planning on coming here,” she said. “I was grocery shopping and I saw you and something made me walk over.”

I just looked at her, wishing something would make her walk somewhere else.

“Are you still seeing him?” she asked.

I wanted to tell her it was none of her business, but I didn’t want her to have the satisfaction of thinking it might be over.

“Yes.”

Her face clouded with sadness. “He’s a really good guy. I can see why you’d want to be with him. But you don’t get how hard it is to be with an NHL player. Hockey always comes first with him. You’ll be lonely, you’ll see pictures online of him with other women—”

“I appreciate your concern for me,” I said wryly.

She rolled her eyes. “Look. You aren’t right for him. I’ve known Orion – really known him – since junior high. His parents and my parents have always been friends. We come from the same kind of background. I made a big mistake and I regret it. I hope he’ll be able to forgive me at some point, but whether he does or not, you’re still not right for him.”

Anger swelled inside me, and I told myself not to let it show. “I’m pretty sure he gets to decide who’s right for him.”

“Just because he slept with you while he was home, it doesn’t mean anything.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re his Henley hookup. He probably has one in every city he goes to.”

“If you don’t want to order a cake, I need to get back to work,” I said, crossing my arms across my chest. I wouldn’t let myself stoop to her hateful level.

“You’ll never be part of his life,” she said, inching closer to me. “Not like I was.”

The dam holding back my emotions burst.

“I’ve been staying with him every weekend in Chicago,” I said. “I’ve met his family and friends.”

The color drained from her face, though she tried to maintain a scowl. “Well, it won’t last,” she said, enunciating every word and leaning closer to me. “Orion’s too smart to stay with trash like you.”

A few months ago, her words would have crushed me. But now they just fueled me to tell her how wrong she was.

“He asked me to move in with him.”

“You’re a lying bitch,” she hissed.

I shrugged. “I’ve got no reason to make it up.”

Her eyes filled with tears. I stuck my order pad in my apron pocket and sighed with aggravation.

“You need to move on, Amy. Not because Orion’s with me, but because no matter what happens with us, he’ll never be with you again. Let go of the past and focus on your future.”

I turned and walked back to my work. My words to her kept running through my mind. Was my past holding me back from moving forward with Orion? I’d been let down so many times by so many people that I tried to protect myself by expecting it. But he’d given me no reason to doubt him.

My heart picked up speed as realization set in. I wanted to expect things to work out for the first time in my life. There were no guarantees, ever, but love was a leap of faith and I’d been standing at the edge peering over since Orion asked me to move in with him.

I was ready to jump into the great unknown, hand in hand with him. I was moving to Chicago.

I turned my phone over in my hand, considering. Life was full of surprises. I needed to share this one with Samara.

I pushed the button to call her and she was breathless when she answered.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey, you busy?”

“Nope. I just got home with groceries. I’m making spaghetti for me and Chloe tonight. She’s at the hospital but I’m going to pick her up in an hour.”

I sat down on the dark leather couch in my living room and looked out the windows at the cityscape of buildings. Damn, I wished I could have this conversation with her in person.

“Baby, I need to tell you something,” I said. “Something pretty big.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I wanted to tell you this when I get back, but I’m concerned you might hear it from my mom or Olivia, so I need to tell you now.”

“Orion, what is it? You’re scaring me.”

“I’m donating a kidney to Drew.”

She spoke after a few seconds of silence. “But I thought Olivia was.”

“Her blood pressure’s too high. The doctors won’t let her.”

“Okay.” She took in a deep breath and let it out. “Are you sure you’re able to?”

“My blood type’s a match. There’s still a lot of testing to do, but I’m healthier than most people. I’ve got a very good shot.”

“You’re such a good man, Orion Caldwell.” Her voice was strained with emotion. “I love you so much.”

I smiled. “I love you too.”

“How long is the recovery? Will you miss the rest of the season?”

How the hell did I say the words I was still digesting myself? But I had to. Samara and I had a no-bullshit rule.

“This means the end of hockey for me. At least as a player.”

The silence was longer this time, and I finally broke it. “I’m good with this decision, baby. It’s what I want. I didn’t even have to think about it when Olivia told me they won’t let her do it. She didn’t ask me – I offered.”

“No, I know,” she said, crying now. “I’m just heartbroken for you.”

“Don’t be. As long as you can love a guy with one kidney, I’m good.”

“I love you more than ever,” she said. “But … what about me? Can I be tested? I don’t know my blood type, but if I’m a match I’m in.”

My heart overflowed with love for her. She was beyond anything I’d ever imagined finding in a woman.

“You’re amazing for offering, but I’m doing it.”

“But I want to. I love you and I love Drew, too. I could help him and you could keep playing hockey.”

I wished we were together so I could hold her right now. It was hard to communicate the depth of my feelings with words.

“I want to do this, Samara. I really do. It’s the right thing. For Drew and probably for me too. My head’s taken a lot of beatings in the past couple years and I’m okay with retiring. I got five years in the NHL. Five great years.”