Rekindled (Titanium Security Series) (15 page)

Sean Dunphy’s eyes snapped open in the dim late evening light when someone turned the latch on his hospital room door. He held his breath, aware of his heart thudding hard against his sternum as he stared at the doorway. When it opened and he saw the silhouette of a woman with a long ponytail, a flood of relief crashed through him so fast it made him dizzy.

Zahra quietly closed the door behind her but didn’t approach him, instead shoving her hands into her jeans pockets. Maybe because she wasn’t sure if he’d try to bite her head off again like he had yesterday. “Hey,” he said.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She stayed where she was, still hesitant, wary. His fault.

He pushed up onto his elbows, tried not to notice the outline of the legs he could no longer feel beneath the blankets. His whole back hurt with the movement, bruised and battered muscle stretching over achy bones. “Did you get some rest and some decent food?”

She nodded, looking distracted as she pushed her dark bangs away from her forehead. “Have you eaten?”

“Couple hours ago.” Though he hadn’t had much of an appetite. A lengthy silence ensued and she broke eye contact with him. He hated that, hated knowing he was responsible for her need to protect herself. She should never have to protect herself from him. “Zahra.”

Her head came up, her eyes finding his.

He held out a hand. “C’mere.”

She stared back at him, started to shake her head.

He beckoned with his hand. “Please. I need you.” It was the truth.

At those softly spoken words she made a choked sound in her throat and hurried across the room to go into his arms. A shudder ripped through her as he hugged her. Sean cursed under his breath and laid back so he could hold her to him. He cupped one hand over the back of her head and pressed her face into his neck, squeezing his eyes shut at the feel of her. The way she burrowed into him and held on so tight told him just how much he’d hurt her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, meaning it, even though the words weren’t easy for him. “I was a prick and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Yeah, you were a
total
prick,” she agreed.

Sean stroked a hand down her spine. “I’m glad you came back.”

She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “You knew I wouldn’t stay away long.”

Actually, he’d figured she’d at least make him wait a couple of days as punishment for the way he’d lashed out at her. “Once I calmed down enough to think straight, I
hoped
you wouldn’t wait long.” Even just the past day and a half had felt like an eternity without her.

“Sean, seriously? You thought I’d leave you here all alone just because you’d hurt my feelings?”

He shrugged. “Yeah.” He’d certainly deserved it.

She sat up a bit more, narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m so insulted right now. Have you forgotten how tough I am? Sticks and stones, funny boy. It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than that to drive me away.” She searched his eyes. “But you’re not going to do that, are you?”

At the note of vulnerability in her voice, the lump in his throat magnified until it nearly choked him. He shook his head, put a hand to her face to stroke his thumb along her angular jaw line. “I’ll try my best not to.” It wouldn’t be easy. Part of him had wanted to lash out at her, vent all his rage and grief and frustration and she’d been an easy target. Now he felt like an asshole.

Apparently satisfied by that response, she laid her head on his chest with a sigh and gently rubbed her fingertips over his heart. He swore it swelled under her touch, so filled with gratitude that she’d come back to him. “Did you get any sleep while I was gone?” she asked softly.

“A little.”

“Think you could sleep now?”

“If you lay with me, maybe.” He needed that contact, craved it, and he didn’t care if admitting it made him look weak. Where Zahra was concerned, he
was
weak. Luckily, she didn’t seem to mind.

She sat up, chewed her lip as she glanced uncertainly at his legs. “I don’t want to hurt anything—”

“You won’t.” Even if she kicked him in her sleep he wouldn’t feel it, and the surgeons had cobbled his legs back together with titanium staples, plates and screws so it wasn’t like she’d do any damage. He grabbed her wrist, tugged until she gave in and swung her legs up onto the narrow bed. She gingerly placed them next to his right leg and lay down on her side facing him. “You’re gonna fall off the edge like that,” he chided, banding one arm around her to haul her upper body forward until she was draped across his torso.

Zahra sighed and snuggled into his shoulder, her fingers tracing gentle patterns over his chest through the thin material of the hospital gown. Sean closed his eyes and blocked the jolt of grief that welled up inside him. Up until the IED attack, if she’d been pressed up against him and touching him like this he’d have been rock hard and ready to rock her world in a matter of seconds. Now there was no sensation whatsoever from the waist down and every day that passed without any encouraging signs that he might regain feeling or movement in his lower body dragged him deeper into the pit of despair he was trying like hell not to fall into.

The hushed sounds of the staff moving about in the hallway outside reached him, blending with the quiet whir of the IV machine as it administered the cocktail of steroids and antibiotics they were pumping into his veins 24/7. Zahra covered a yawn and shifted. Her warm weight was such a comfort. “Need anything?”

“Just this,” he whispered back. During those long hours while she’d been gone, he’d faced the very real fear that he’d driven her away for good. Much as he hated what had happened to him, hated the weakness and the terrifying prospect of spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair, he knew he’d never needed anyone as much as he needed Zahra now.

He ran his fingers through her silky ponytail, trying to envision what sort of a life he could give her now. Until a few days ago he’d had it all planned out. Once they got Hassani and headed back stateside, he was going to take her away somewhere romantic and pop the question. Should he even contemplate that still? She was loyal, and he didn’t doubt that she loved him, so he was pretty sure she’d say yes if he still asked her.

But wasn’t it selfish of him to ask her to marry a cripple? That was more like a life sentence than a happily-ever-after. Maybe that was partly why he’d lashed out at her earlier. Maybe he
was
trying to push her away because he knew she deserved better than to be saddled with him now, or maybe he wanted to drive her away before she could leave him. He was terrified that she might one day, when it finally sunk in that he wasn’t going to get better.

He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. Blocking those depressing thoughts, he kissed the top of her head and breathed in the clean fragrance of her hair. “I love you, Zahra.” So much it shook him. How the hell would he go on without her if she walked away one day?

She pressed her lips to his chest. “Love you too.”

It was a miracle, and one he intended to cherish. With Zahra’s warm weight snuggled against him, helping to keep the fear and helplessness at bay, Sean closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift.

He dreamed he was running. On a tropical white sand beach. The breeze was warm and soft against him. He was laughing, racing toward something…someone. Zahra. She stood near the edge of the surf wearing a lacy white gown, holding a bouquet of orchids. Her hazel green eyes were full of love and happiness as she gazed back at him. A diamond ring glinted on her hand. His wife.

Sean ran up to her, lifted her into his arms and swung her off her feet. She draped her arms around his neck and laughed as he twirled her. Then her gaze caught on something over his shoulder. She tensed in his arms, her face going stiff with fear. Sean stopped, turned his head to assess the threat. A dark and evil-looking cloud was coming up the beach toward them. Instinct drove him to protect her. She was in terrible danger. He couldn’t let anything happen to her. He set her down and pushed her away from him, shouting at her to run.

The sound of the surf disappeared and the beach fell away. He was back behind the wheel of the SUV on the Khyber Pass, the muted roar of the sea replaced by the hum of the engine. A dark shadow appeared in the rearview mirror. Danger was stalking him, he knew it but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t turn back. All he could do was drive faster, try to outrun it even as he knew it was futile. He had to follow the others, guard their six. The hairpin turn was dead ahead. His heart hammered his ribs as he slowed into the first part of the turn. Instinct screamed at him to stop, to go back. But it was too late.

A huge explosion erupted beneath him. He screamed and threw his hands up to shield his face from the searing heat of the flames just as everything went black. When he came to, the others were staring down at him. Hunter. Alex. Gage. Ellis. Their faces were pinched with worry and he could smell blood and burning flesh.

And his legs. God, his legs were mangled like hamburger when he lifted his head to glance in horror down the length of his body. He braced himself for the pain, but the agony never came. Instead he felt a hot pins-and-needles sensation in both limbs. It ran down both his legs, right into his feet, like a million tiny beestings.

Paralysis caused by spinal shock. The terrible words ran through his head.

He shifted to escape them and the prickling, stinging sensation increased.

His eyes snapped open and he struggled to get his bearings as the dream tugged at him. The hospital. He was sweating, heart racing. Zahra was sound asleep against him, using his chest for a pillow. But that prickling sensation was still there, stronger now.

What the
…

He jerked up onto his elbows to stare down at his blanket-covered legs. Was he still dreaming? Maybe he was having phantom pain like he’d heard about from amputees he’d known.

Zahra gasped and shot into a sitting position. “What’s wrong?” she whispered tensely, casting a frantic look around.

“My legs.”

She sucked in a breath and scrambled away to face him, her expression full of dread. “Oh God, did I—”

“I feel pins-and-needles.” It wasn’t just in his head. He fucking
felt
something.

Eyes widening, she glanced from his face to his legs and back again. “Are you…sure?”

He nodded, swallowed past the dryness in his throat. It hurt enough to make him break out in an all-over sweat, but that probably had more to do with his racing pulse than the pain, and he’d fucking take pain any day over the horrifying numbness he’d experienced since the blast. “Both legs. And the feet, too. All over, like ants biting me.”

She met his gaze once more and he saw the powerful yet devastating surge of hope there.

“Go get the doctor on duty,” he urged hoarsely, grabbing the call button to bring the nurse. His heart hammered against his ribs.
Please God, please let this be real.

Zahra jumped off the bed and raced for the door.

****

Grace tossed the TV remote aside and laid back with a sigh against the pillows she’d stacked up against the headboard. It was already after nine, plenty late enough for her to take a nice hot bath and change into her jammies for the night.

She hadn’t heard from Alex since he’d texted her just after lunch to check in with her, and he might not be returning to the hotel tonight at all. The memory of those kisses this morning had her all revved up inside, and it looked like there wasn’t going to be any relief for the ache of arousal she’d been suffering all day.

She’d passed the hours reading, going over files then eating with Jordyn and Blake—she wasn’t sure why Alex always called him Ellis instead—before taking a very short walk through the hotel garden with them. It hadn’t taken long for her to figure out they were a couple, but it certainly didn’t appear to affect their job performance. They’d both been focused one hundred percent on her and their surroundings the entire time. Grace was a homebody by nature and loved to cuddle up for some quiet time, but these four walls were seriously starting to close in on her.

She was thinking about starting that bath when her new cell rang. It was Jordyn. “Hey,” Grace answered. “You going to come bring me a chocolate for my pillow then tuck me in for the night?”

“No, sorry, that’s not in my contract,” Jordyn said on a laugh. “We just got a call from Alex. Apparently Zahra—one of our team members—contacted him. He wants us all to come to the hospital.”

Grace sat up, heart sinking. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine. It’s Sean Dunphy, our teammate who was wounded the other—”

“I remember. Alex told me about it.” What a horrific thing, for a man like that to become paralyzed.

“Well, something big must have just happened for Alex to call us in there, so we’re all heading over there now. Hunter and Gage are going with Alex, and Alex doesn’t want us leaving you here alone so he said to bring you with us. We’ll be by to get you in five.”

It wasn’t her place to be involved in whatever was going on with their wounded teammate, but she wasn’t about to argue and the truth was she would take any excuse to see Alex again. “Okay.”

When they stepped off the elevator at the hospital twenty-plus minutes later, Grace could see Hunter and Gage standing next to a door near the end of the hallway. The nurses gave them hard looks as they passed, apparently none too pleased about such a big group breaking the visiting hours rule, but she followed Blake and Jordyn without a qualm. Alex was here and she couldn’t wait to see him.

Hunter and Gage both nodded at them as they walked up. “What’s the deal?” Blake said quietly.

“Doc’s still in there with them,” Hunter answered, and even though Grace didn’t know him well, she could see the excitement in his eyes. “Might be good news.”

Grace didn’t even know Dunphy and she felt hopeful for him. “Where’s Alex?”