Redemption Lake (21 page)

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Authors: Monique Miller

BOOK: Redemption Lake
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Chapter 24
Beryl Highgate
Thursday: 7:15
A.M
.
Refreshed from her shower, Beryl stepped out. With her face still wet and eyes closed, she maneuvered her hands along the towel rack, feeling for her towel. Instead of feeling the softness of terrycloth, she felt the roughness of something damp. She couldn't make out at first, but soon realized it was her husband's underwear.
The refreshing invigoration she'd felt from her cozy shower only moments before had been depleted like air being quickly released from a pierced balloon. With jarring dread, Beryl was reminded that her husband wasn't using the brains God gave him. She was so tired of letting him use her brain to think all the time.
To make matters worse, Beryl's reflection stared back at her through the partially steamed bathroom mirror. There were bags and dark circles under her eyes. And even though she'd had what felt like the best night's sleep in months, it was impossible to think that one night of sleep could undo years of the stress and strain that had overtaken her body.
The underwear hanging on the towel rack was only one of the subtle reminders Beryl knew she would get throughout the day, reinforcing the reason she'd taken a chunk out of her savings and paid for the retreat. This was to be a last ditch effort in hopes to save her marriage. She prayed Travis would get some clues on what she needed out of their marriage. And in the process, also get a clue about what kind of father their kids needed. But so far, it didn't seem like Travis was learning anything.
Sure he was talking a lot, but Beryl knew all about Travis' ramblings. Most of his rambling, which embarrassed her beyond belief, was just so he could find a way to fit into conversations others were having, always trying to bring the conversation back to something he could relate to in the world of television.
While Charlotte was having problems with a husband who was
stepping out
on her with other women, Beryl had a problem too; Travis
staying in
watching the television. She wished he would stay on a job for more than a few months at a time. She figured everyone probably thought her husband was a television addict. And they were probably right.
She didn't really think Travis was addicted to television. She actually thought he was just plain lazy. She hated to think that about her own husband, but as she analyzed things, it was the only solution that made any sense.
Point blank, the man didn't want to work, didn't want to keep a job, or worse yet,
couldn't
keep a job. Meanwhile, she worked full time managing a fast food restaurant and selling makeup on the side, struggling to make ends meet.
Beryl tried to be understanding, especially in the beginning. She knew firsthand what it meant to stand by your man. Her mother had done so when Beryl's father broke his back on the job. Beryl's mother stepped in carrying their entire family by working two jobs day and night. So when Travis lost his jobs, Beryl knew exactly what she needed to do.
But during their relatively short five-year marriage, he'd had eight different jobs. The years had been filled with pink slips and reasons—actually excuses—Travis had given her as to why he was again out of work. One day something finally clicked in Beryl's head. The man just didn't want to work.
And if she had any doubts about his lack of desire to keep a job, Travis made it very clear to her one day when she was pressuring him to find a job. He'd blatantly told her he was waiting for the right kind of job, and he wasn't going to work just anywhere and take just anything. He told her that he wanted an employer who would appreciate his associates degree in general studies. This was during a time when Travis had been dropping her off at work, because their second car had broken down, needing a new alternator. With money as tight as it was, Beryl couldn't spare the money to buy an alternator and have the car fixed. She couldn't believe Travis had the nerve to continue to stand on his soapbox about not taking any kind of job. If it hadn't been for her two children, Beryl knew she would have strangled the man.
As the realization set in that Travis didn't want to work or pull his weight around the house, Beryl realized she couldn't change the man. The only thing she could change was herself and the situation she and her children were enduring.
Before hearing about the marriage retreat, she'd contemplated leaving, but her conscience wouldn't allow her to do that. Plus, she really loved Travis, and deep down just wanted him to do the right thing; act like a man and take care of his family.
So, with hopeful reluctance, she'd pulled two thousand dollars out of her four thousand dollar savings account, money she'd stashed away for a rainy day, and paid for a spot at the retreat to help save their marriage. It was already Thursday, and Travis hadn't changed one bit.
Beryl didn't let Travis's lack of clarity bother her. She'd done all she could do, as far as they were concerned. Now it was up to her to do what she needed to do to get her life back. She was going to stop taking care of an adult sized kid. If she had to do it by herself, she'd move on and take care of the two children she had given birth to.
There was a phrase that stuck in her head: ‘I can do bad by myself.' But Beryl had a better phrase that kept running through her mind:
I can do better by myself.
Once she located her towel, she dried off and dressed. She picked up her sketchpad and charcoals and headed for the bedroom door. Just as she was about to touch the doorknob, Travis stirred on the bed.
“Baby, what time is it?” Travis asked.
Beryl sighed, looking at the clock. “It's seven fifty-five.”
“Ah, man, why didn't you wake me up?” Groggy, Travis sat up with eyes still closed.
Feeling her heartbeat quicken, Beryl took another deep breath, deciding she wouldn't start the morning off with an argument that would put her in a bad mood. Especially knowing it would be a waste of time and breath anyway.
“It's Thursday, Travis,” Beryl said.
“Huh? No, I said what time is it,” Travis said.
Was the man too lazy to look over at the same clock she was looking at? She shook her head.
“It's Thursday, Travis,” Beryl said again.
“Why are you talking crazy? I didn't ask what day it is, I asked what time it was.”
“I know what you asked. But I felt it was more important for you to know what day it was,” Beryl said with a calm voice. She wasn't going to let Travis ruin the rest of their stay.
“Why you trippin'?” Travis asked, finally opening his eyes.
“Oh, I'm not trippin',” Beryl said. “You can best believe that.” Then she left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.
Chapter 25
Beryl Highgate
Thursday: 7:58
A.M
.
Beryl sniffed the air as she walked into the kitchen, trying to decipher what Shelby had whipped up for their breakfast. Everyone except Phillip and Travis were already gathered in the kitchen.
She took another sniff. Working in the fast food industry for so many years, her nose was able to hone in on the source of many aromas. The smell of freshly brewed coffee was prevalent, with an undertone of something sweet and toasted.
It was amazing to Beryl how the aroma of food, and music from a good song, could momentarily take her thoughts to another place, making her forget the woes in her life.
On the table, spread out on a platter, were a variety of bagels surrounded by an assortment of cream cheeses and fresh fruit. There were two halves of a cinnamon raisin bagel in a wide mouth toaster sitting on the bar. They were popping up as she walked in.
Normally, Beryl would have frowned about having a continental breakfast, but after the variety of breakfast styles Shelby had already treated them with over the past days, the light breakfast was actually a welcomed site.
Accustomed to eating cinnamon raisin bagels with honey walnut cream cheese, Beryl saw this as an opportunity to try different types of bagels with different types of cream cheese. She wanted to think outside of the box. And even though this kind of thinking would be uncomfortable, she hoped for some pleasant rewards. The old way of thinking was traditional, which equated to boring in her eyes.
Beryl took a seat at the table. “What kinds of cream cheeses are these?”
Shelby looked over and pointed to the containers. “Strawberry, honey and nut, plain, and blueberry.”
“I'm going to try the strawberry and blueberry. I've never tried them before,” Beryl said.
“Don't get hooked on it,” Nina said, “or you might end up with hips like mine.”
Beryl didn't know how to take Nina. In the beginning she seemed a bit snobbish. Actually, the word bourgeois-ghetto would be more of an applicable word if the phrase existed. The woman dressed immaculately, but some of the stuff that rolled from her mouth, didn't suggest the culture she tried to display.
Beryl heard the sound of the blow dryer being turned on in their cabin room. She rolled her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time since she'd been there. Travis was drying his damp underwear.
“I don't plan on getting hooked. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my break from the real world, but once I get back, some things are definitely going to change,” Beryl said as she picked up a plain bagel and placed it in the toaster. “I've been thinking a lot about what Phillip told us regarding the seven steps to rebuilding.”
And what she meant was rebuilding her personal house, not her marital house. First she'd need to start over—without Travis. She would also need to forgive him. In a lot of ways, she didn't think Travis was intentionally trying to hurt her. In a sense, she really felt sorry for him. His mother had babied him, and when she passed away, his sisters did the same thing. Beryl's mistake in the beginning was treating him just like his sisters had, waiting on him hand and foot. Not that she believed her actions were a completely bad thing, because she was taking care of her man. But after a while, she realized she was treating Travis like her king, but instead of a queen, he was treating her more like a maidservant.
She would justify things, and she had already been counting the cost before they stepped foot into the cabin. From her calculations, their whole situation was costing her big time. Her health had deteriorated due to her stress about their bills and Travis's lack of lifting a hand to help her around the house. When she did ask him to do something, nine times out of ten she had to stay on him to finish the task.
Phillip had also said to use knowledge to her benefit, and even though he was talking about it in the sense to help rebuild a marriage, Beryl would tweak this point and find self-help books to assist her in becoming the Beryl she used to know and love. She would also use the Internet to find information about improving the mind, body, and spirit.
She'd come to the retreat hoping her husband would see the error of his ways and do right. But she realized Travis probably thought he was doing right. He didn't think there needed to be any changes. And it was all relative when she thought about it; a person's perception was truly their reality.
“Those are some valuable steps,” Nina said. “George and I had already gone through most of those steps before we came here.” Nina placed her hand on George's arm while looking at Beryl.
George, who was taking a sip of tea, nodded his head in agreement. He looked directly at Nina. “Now we're just in the belief stage. Believing God will give us further spiritual guidance on how we can strengthen our marriage and stand together so no weapons formed against us will prosper.”
Even though Beryl knew George was agreeing with Nina, it looked as if he were also trying to convince her too. After he finished, he kept his eyes on Nina, but for some reason Nina wasn't making eye contact with him.
“Good morning, everyone,” Phillip said, entering the kitchen.
Beryl's bagel popped up in the toaster.
“Good morning,” George replied, finally taking his gaze off Nina.
Beryl thought she heard a sigh of relief escape from Nina's lips.
“Morning,” Xavier mumbled under his breath.
Beryl had almost forgotten he was sitting at the table. From what she could see, he hadn't touched any of the bagel or fruit on his plate.
“Good morning,” Charlotte said with only a slight bit more of enthusiasm than her husband.
Travis stepped into the room. “Hey, everybody. Hope I'm not too late for breakfast. Did I miss anything?”
Everything
, Beryl thought. Travis wasn't the only one. They were all a haphazard bunch. One couple wasn't speaking to each other, another couple was speaking in private codes, and then there was she and Travis. He was oblivious to the fact that in a few short days, he would find himself out of a place to stay.
The couples all gathered back at The Round Table. Beryl was surprised at how filling the bagels and fruit had been. Whenever she'd eaten a continental breakfast before, she'd had an array of foods, but never felt quite satisfied.
“Again, good morning to you all,” Phillip said, “I hope everyone slept well. We've gone over a great deal already, and I pray you've been using your time wisely to review ways to apply some of these teachings in your personal lives.”
Beryl nodded, more so to herself than to anyone else in the room. She had slept very well. Much of what Phillip had been saying so far that week was making things crystal clear for her. She felt more and more sure about the path she needed to take once they arrived back home.
Phillip continued to speak. “We talked about loving yourself and the Lord. We also talked about the many love misunderstandings people have and the various love language skills people use to communicate. Hopefully you've been able to talk with your spouses and determine which love language skill you are each more apt to respond to.”
At this statement, Travis sat up straight as if in the military and coming to attention.
Phillip smirked, nodding his head up and down in a slow rhythmic motion as he looked at each person around the table. Taking his lead, Shelby did the same. Beryl, Charlotte, Xavier, and George smirked also, nodding their heads in understanding. Nina nodded her head, but it didn't look like a nod of understanding. She was nodding to sleep.
Travis was totally clueless—as usual, but didn't say a word. Beryl was glad he hadn't shown his ignorance and kept his mouth shut.
“Sex, Money, Intangibles, Religion, and Kids,” Phillip said, “Need I say more?”
Beryl answered, “No,” while others shook their heads.
Travis finally got it and nodded his head. “Ah. No.”
Phillip said, “We also talked about steps to help rebuild your marital home. I hope you have been able to come to some sort of agreement in looking at each step carefully.”
At this, Beryl couldn't agree. She saw no reason to waste her time talking with a husband who would later forget most of what was said. Hope was out of the window, and Travis had run out of second chances.
“I've given you a great deal to absorb in a short time-frame, but I pray much of it will stick.” Phillip tapped the notes in front of him. “Taking notes and talking to your spouses will help bring back to your remembrance what we've said here.
“With that being said, I do have another acronym I'd like for you to commit to memory.” Phillip stood, picking up the dry erase pen. He drew what looked like a sailboat on water, then wrote the acronym S.A.I.L. in capital letters above the boat.
“It won't be smooth sailing when you get home. But here are four more things that will at least help keep you in the boat and hopefully make the trip to strengthening your marriages a little easier,” Phillip said. “‘S' is for being saved. Being saved can make this trip much easier for you. I am a witness to this fact. When Shelby and I were having marital problems, she was saved and I wasn't. I had to learn the hard way about the love of Christ. One of my very dear friends tried to tell me about Christ's love, but I often changed the subject or avoided talking to him.
“But let me tell you, when I started going through trials and tribulations in my marriage, I turned to that same friend who I had often shunned, seeking guidance. That guidance and various other events in my life steered me in the right direction toward Christ. Ever since I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, I've had an unbelievable peace on the inside.
“Now, I'm not saying things were smooth sailing after I got saved, but I can say that putting my trust in God, instead of my own abilities, was the best move I've ever made in my life.”
George said, “Amen to that, my brother.”
“That move was better than any move I performed on the football field during all of my years in high school and college,” Phillip said.
The other men chuckled.
“But on a serious note,” Phillip said, “If you aren't saved, then I encourage you to get to know Christ.”
Beryl could always tell when Phillip was trying to get a point across. He would quietly look around the table, making eye contact with each person while tapping the eraser of a pencil on his notepad.
The eye contact with Nina hadn't been possible because her head was down, her arms folded and she had fallen asleep. Noticing, George nudged her slightly. She woke up, but her eyes remained droopy.
Beryl wondered how Phillip could have so much patience and keep his composure. He acted as if he hadn't noticed Nina's actions.
“The ‘A' is for anniversaries and special dates and times,” Phillip continued. “This one is for everyone, but mainly the men. You've got to remember the special days in your marriage. It is not cute or funny to forget your wedding anniversary, birthdays, and other special days your spouse holds dear. You can sail a little smoother if you remember the special times.
The juice Beryl drank at breakfast had hit her bladder. She needed to go to the bathroom, but didn't want to miss anything.
“So, do whatever you think you need to do to keep those dates in mind. Keep a calendar you'll look at regularly. On New Year's Day, before the big game, program your phone with reminders for special dates and times for the upcoming year. Or write a list and make yourself memorize it or at least look at it frequently enough that you'll be ahead of the game.”
Beryl nodded. There were countless times when Travis had forgotten about their anniversary and there were a few times she had to remind him of their children's birthdays.
“‘I' stands for intimacy. We talked about sex during S.M.I.R.K., but I just thought I'd say it again. Make sure you perpetuate intimacy in your marriage. Intimacy is more than just sex. Intimacy will give you a closeness and a bond that only you and your spouse can share and appreciate. This type of intimacy is reserved for your spouse only.
“Make quality time for each other. Set aside time for yourselves, without children and other distractions. Use this time to connect emotionally with your spouse, talking more than touching. And set aside some time to go out on a date with your spouse,” Phillip said.
At this, Xavier's eyebrows raised in question.
Phillip nodded his head in response. “Yes, you and your wife can date. Who says you can't? What is dating anyway? Dating, very simply, is going out with someone. All you are doing is setting up an appointment for a rendezvous. Why is it when people get married, they forget about what they used to do before the marriage?
“Take your spouse out on a date once a week, if you can. And if once a week doesn't work, then twice a month. But talk about it, set the dates, and date. You need one-on-one time together to have some fun,” Phillip said. “And I do mean one-on-one time. I don't mean going out to a class reunion, a function at church, or with a civic group you might be a part of. It's all great to mingle and mix with your peers, but you and your spouse need some time to make sure you're able to establish and maintain the emotional intimacy your marriages will thrive on.”

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