Redemption in Love (Hearts on the Line) (18 page)

Gavin shrugged. He wasn’t used to explaining himself to anybody.

“Yet she’s here with you,” Damien continued. “Did you somehow figure out a way to keep her?”

“Sort of. I’m good at problem solving, remember?”

Damien grew thoughtful. “If divorce is what she really wants, she’ll eventually get it. If not now, then later.”

“Not without a fight. And I fight dirty.”

“You learned from an expert.” Damien knew a lot—though not all—about Jacob and Gavin’s history. Ethan had wisely removed himself from the toxic home environment. Besides, he was too close to Jacob’s age for the oldest Lloyd brother to torment with impunity. “Do you really want her to be with you? Both of you might be happier if you weren’t together. Some marriages just aren’t meant to be, children or no.”

Gavin shook his head. “It’s not like that. Amandine and I have something good.”

“How so?”

“She… She makes me calm and content. Peaceful. I want to make her as happy as she makes me.” Gavin stood up and started pacing. “The idea of losing her makes me sweaty with panic. It’s not like the kind of…distasteful bitterness I felt when Catherine chose Jacob.” Besides, if Amandine found him so objectionable, she wouldn’t respond to him in bed the way she did. He was showing her how much he valued her. Why wouldn’t it work out? “Amandine’s just in a snit over our anniversary dinner—which I missed—and this.” He raised his left hand to show to Damien the naked ring finger.

“What happened?”

Gavin gave his friend a succinct summary. “I know, I screwed up. Trust me, it won’t happen again.”

Damien nodded with approval.

“I think we’re going to be able to make it work. Amandine promised to give it another shot, a best shot.”

Damien considered. “What women say, what they do, what they think and what they actually want… Almost never the same.”

“That’s why I’ve always given her what all women want.”

“If so, why were you at Jones & Jones?” Damien asked mildly. “No, don’t answer. I don’t need to know the details. But let me offer some advice. You didn’t marry Amandine because she was just like every other woman out there. So don’t give her what you would give every other woman out there.”

Gavin paused. He hadn’t thought of it quite that way. “Then what the hell am I supposed to give her?”

Damien laughed. “How should I know? She’s
your
wife.”

* * *

The lunch ended at almost three in the afternoon only because Damien and Victoria had to get to the airport. Otherwise it might have turned into dinner. Amandine enjoyed the conversation, and as Victoria had suggested, she faked it when she wasn’t sure. No one seemed to notice or care, and she found herself looking forward to it when they promised to get together again back in the States.

Gavin drove to the Lloyd family vacation home. The road was just wide enough for two cars, the asphalt shimmering black and perfectly smooth. Tall trees lined each side, their green leaves broad and lazy.

Amandine looked up. “Are those banana trees?”

“Yes.”

“Are they native to Thailand? I don’t remember seeing any at Damien’s place.”

“Thailand has dozens of varieties, but these were specially planted.”

“Why?”

He slowed and seemed to be searching for something off the road. Finally he pulled over and pointed. “Look.”

A very large shadow was slipping along, back among the trees. “Oh my god. Is that an elephant?”

“We call him Lou.” The Bentley’s engine idled, humming smoothly. “Wanna see him up close?”

“Is it safe?”

“Sure.” They got out of the car. “Just don’t do anything to startle him.”

Lou moved slowly, surprisingly quiet for such a large animal, his trunk curling around bunches of bananas and feeding them into his mouth. She hovered back, uncertain how to approach.

“Just walk up to him from the front,” Gavin said. “Pet him if you want. He’s very tame.”

She started toward Lou in measured steps. “He doesn’t have a collar.”
Do people collar their elephants? Keep current on shots and stuff?

Gavin chuckled. “He stays on the property. It’s all right.”

“Is he yours?”

“Well, he’s sort of a communal elephant. Ethan, Mark and I adopted him when he was a baby. He wandered onto our beach somehow, but nobody could figure out where he’d come from, so we thought why not?” Gavin pointed at the green banana bunches on the trees. “Workers cut them down every other morning.”

“But they aren’t ripe.”

“Lou’s a smart guy. He waits until they’re soft and sweet.”

Amandine was finally close enough to touch Lou. He towered over her, his massive gray body as solid as the banana trees around them. His head was enormous. Unlike what she’d assumed, the top of his skull wasn’t bald. Several strands of short and wiry hair stood up straight from his head. His long-lashed eyes shone with curiosity and intelligence as he studied her.

“Hey, big fella.” She put a hand out, palm up, but the elephant didn’t react. Well. What was she thinking, treating Lou like a dog? She doubted he was interested in sniffing her.

Gavin picked up a few lone bananas from the ground and handed them to her. “Feed him. He’ll love you forever.”

She offered one of the ripe fruits to the elephant. The trunk came questing for it, snuffling. He took the banana from her and munched on it.

“Where does he get water?” she asked.

“There’s a manmade freshwater lake about a mile from here.”

“Just for him?”

“Yup. We keep it brimming with water all the time, and a vet comes by every so often to check up on him. As far as I know, he’s doing very well.”

“Good for him.”

Lou reached and stole the bananas from her other hand before she could offer them.

“Oh my gosh!” She put a fist over her heart, which was suddenly racing with surprise and thrill.

Gavin patted the young elephant. His face peaceful, his lips curved slightly as he ran his hands along Lou’s somber face and massive shoulder.

This was a Gavin that Amandine had never seen before. His entire demeanor was relaxed, not a trace of tension in him. He looked serene…happy. He hadn’t been like this even at their wedding. He’d been tense until she’d said, “I do.”

I want to be the one to make him happy
.
Make him smile like he has nothing to worry about
.

Amandine sucked in a breath at the sudden thought. Where had that come from?

Gavin turned. “What?”

“Noth—” She swallowed the answer. It wasn’t nothing, but she didn’t know if it was something she could share. So instead she said something else she’d been mulling over since her conversation with Victoria. “Well. I’ve been thinking…”

“Yes?”

Come on
.
Just say it
. “I want to go to college.”

His face slackened. A frown wrinkled his forehead. “You do?”

Her stomach twisted. “What? You don’t think I should do it?”

“It’s not that. I thought you weren’t interested.”

“I never had a chance to go. My family couldn’t afford to send two kids to college.” It had made more sense for Pete to go. He was the smart one.

Gavin didn’t hesitate. “If that’s the case, I’m all for it. I’ll have Hilary hire a consultant.”

“A consultant…?”

“To help you get into the best college possible. If we consider the location, UCLA is the most convenient, but I don’t want to limit your options. Stanford is definitely doable… I can buy a penthouse in Palo Alto and work out of there while you go to school.”

Her mind reeled. “Stanford?”

“Uh-huh.” He frowned. “Why? You don’t want to go there?”

“I—”

He scratched the tip of his nose. “I suppose we could go to the east coast if you have your sights set on an Ivy League school.”

Oh my god
.
An Ivy League school?
Was Gavin insane? She raised a hand. “Just…hold on.” She gathered her thoughts. “First, I don’t know if I can even get into UCLA. So there’s no point aiming for Stanford or the Ivy League.”

“What? That’s ridiculous.”

“Second, I don’t want you to run interference and try to get me into a school I don’t qualify for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know you can get me in under, well, non-academic criteria. I don’t want to get accepted because I’m your wife or you’ve always been a generous donor or because you’re the school president’s BFF. If I can’t get in on my own merit, so be it.”

“I’m surprised you think I’d do that,” he said with a small frown.

Oh dear. She’d annoyed him. “Sorry.”

“Forget it.” He sighed. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. Some place I have a shot at, I guess.”

“And that means places like Stanford are out, is that it?”

She nodded.

“You’re selling yourself short, you know that? You’re smart enough to get into any school you want. The consultant I’m planning to hire will help you.”

“But that wouldn’t be on my own merit.”

“Simply leveling the playing field. You think people get into top schools without help? They take SAT prep courses, get coaching on how to present themselves…”

“Pete didn’t.”

Gavin’s mouth tightened. “Pete’s unusually gifted and driven. You know my firm hires the best of the best.”

She nodded.

“Pete is probably the best out of them all. I thought I worked hard, but he’s a freak.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“A beast,” Gavin added, emphasizing the point. “Most people can’t do it. So don’t compare yourself to your brother. You’re plenty smart enough to get into college.”

Her lips parted. She’d always known Pete was smart, but she hadn’t realized Gavin thought so as well. Gavin had studied econometrics at the University of Chicago, which she understood to be quite a feat.

Amandine had once asked exactly what that was at a Lloyd family gathering, and his younger sister Meredith had responded, “It’s something a lot of ambitious, money-hungry people try to study because it can help them get high-paying jobs. Sadly, the University of Chicago has a particularly evil department dedicated to making their lives utter hell. Once the students realize the blood price they’ll have to pay, they contemplate the choice between hanging themselves or becoming lawyers.”

“Which one was Gavin?”

“He turned out to be a natural at it. Which makes him unnatural.”

Then there was Pete as a hard worker. Amandine had always known her brother worked a lot, even surprising her from time to time, but to impress her workaholic husband…that was surreal.

Then again
,
not any more surreal than standing in a Thai jungle
,
feeding bananas to a half-wild elephant and talking about the future of my education
.

“If you want, we can begin going over your options and go from there.” Gavin’s voice was calm and logical, an anchor. “So you can start school after the baby’s born.”

She stopped. In her enthusiasm, she hadn’t thought things through enough. “But… What if things don’t work out?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Maybe I should go for a local community college. It’s probably more affordable.”

He studied her as he would a chart. “You’re going to go to the college you want to go to. The cost is irrelevant.”

“Gavin—”

“I don’t ever want you to give up something because you can’t afford it. So what if you go to some overpriced private college? If that’s what you want, that’s where you should go. I’ll make sure of it. End of story.” He patted Lou’s shoulder again, then turned away from her. “We should let Lou be. He probably wants to finish eating in peace.” He started toward the car.

His shoulders rode slightly higher than usual, and his stride was quick as he went to the car. Amandine sighed, furious with herself for ruining the good mood and connection they’d established.

Don’t let this destroy the rest of the day
.
You can salvage it
.
Gavin’s not the type to hold a grudge
.
Give him time to decompress
,
then apologize and you’ll be all right
.

But every word she said seemed to undermine their relationship and slice him, despite her best intentions. And she didn’t know how they could make their marriage work if they couldn’t talk about something as inoffensive as college without hurting each other.

GAVIN WATCHED AMANDINE go to their room, her hips swaying in unconscious feminine beauty as she went up the staircase. Fern nodded at him, letting him know the studio was ready.

He’d planned to surprise her after the lunch at Damien’s, but he couldn’t bring himself to be near her, not when he felt like she’d kicked him in the balls.

College.

When she first mentioned the idea, he’d assumed it signaled her intention to stay. That the demand for divorce had been nothing more than a stunt to get his attention. But apparently she was still serious about going through the ridiculous farce of a breakup.

How could she
,
after last night? Who the hell went their separate ways after they made a baby together?

He closed his eyes briefly.
A lot of people
. If only childless couples split up, the divorce rate wouldn’t be hovering around fifty percent…and lawyers like Samantha Jones and Craig Richmond wouldn’t be so flush.

Pissed off at the world, Gavin stalked around the main house. Did it matter what she wanted right now? He still had over three months to work with. Her thinking about getting a degree was a good omen. There was no way she would go to college as a single mom—with a newborn—without the help he could give her. She wasn’t a parasite who expected him to take care of her or the baby if their divorce became official.

But you ruined it all by offering her your unconditional support
,
didn’t you? You could’ve pretended like she’d be on her own if she left you
,
and she’d have to personally finance a half-million dollar tuition
.

He shook his head. It had to be some kind of character flaw of his that he couldn’t be a ruthless asshole. People who played nice never won. He’d seen it over the years. If he could be just a bit more of a hardass, he might have already found a way to convince Amandine to stay. After all, there were lots of things he could use against her—her brother, whom he could threaten to fire and get blacklisted at every decent employer, or Brooke, whom he could plot to ruin.