Redemption (5 page)

“Stay
right where you are, Elizabeth Pinner,” Julian said coldly when she
started to climb the stairs. “There are a few things I want to say
to you.”

“I am
not interested,” she drawled, her face a mask of disinterested
boredom.

“Oh, I
think you need to listen to what I have to tell you.”

Lizzie
would have ignored him if it weren’t for something in his icy voice
that sent shivers of alarm down her spine. She stared blankly up
the stairs while she debated what to do. She could go straight up
her room but suspected that he would just follow her. Then she
would have nowhere to go if she reached the end of her tether and
wanted to get away from him. Determined to get this over with as
quickly as possible, she squared her shoulders and turned slowly to
face him with one brow arched with supreme arrogance. Her face was
as cold and impassive as she could make it, and was so unlike her
usual affable self that it made even Julian hesitate and study her
warily. Rather than bluster, as she suspected he wanted to do, he
nodded toward his study.

“In the
study,” he said, but didn’t wait for her to precede him. He
arrogantly stomped into the study and helped himself to a brandy.
Rather than offer her a drink, he threw himself into a chair
without bothering to wait for her to sit and stared at his goblet
in moody silence.

Unsurprised by his lack of cordiality, Lizzie took a seat
opposite and tried her hardest to look bored.

“It’s
time things changed around here,” he began.

“What?”
she snapped with one brow lifted querulously.

“You are
right. I am no longer your guardian.”

Lizzie
frowned. This new, almost malleable side to him was totally alien,
and disturbed her more than the arrogant, churlish side. Her unease
grew as she waited for him to speak.

“As I am
no longer your guardian, I see no reason why I should accommodate
you any longer.”

Lizzie
stared at him while she tried to think of something to say. “You
are throwing me out?”

Julian
squinted at her for a moment. “You won’t marry McArthur. I don’t
want that man in this family.”

“Why?”
Lizzie challenged. “Because he threatens you? Because he is a
better man than you, and having him in the family highlights to
everyone just how much of a wastrel you are?”

“I would
watch your mouth, if I were you,” Julian warned. His eyes flashed
with temper, but he remained seated and restricted his scorn to a
hard glare. “I am no longer your guardian. Ergo, I am no longer
beholden to provide a roof over your head. Therefore you need to
leave. Get out. Go. First thing in the morning pack your belongings
and get out of this house. I want our association severed, and as
publically as possible.”

“But you
can’t do that,” she gasped when she realised he meant it. She had
no idea how much alcohol he had consumed this evening, but his
words were clipped and careful rather than slurred like they
usually were when he was in his cups so she suspected he knew
exactly what he was doing.

“I am
afraid that I can,” he declared calculatingly.

Lizzie
went cold and stared at him. “But where am I to go?”

Her mind
raced frantically while she tried to find any argument she could
use to stop him, but her mind was blank. She couldn’t focus her
thoughts on anything other than the fact that Julian intended to
throw her out.

“How about throwing yourself upon your lover’s mercy? It
would mean whoring yourself but you are used to that. I don’t doubt
McArthur will have no hesitation in providing you with a house of
your own. I am sure he would enjoy popping in to see you to get
better acquainted with you again, and relish being away from the
prying eyes of half of the
ton
. However, you will need to be
quick because I want you out of this house before noon
tomorrow.”

“You
can’t do this,” Lizzie protested but knew from the malice in her
step-brother’s eyes that he could, and would. “You can’t just throw
me out of here.”

“I am
afraid that I can. As you quite rightly pointed out, we are not
related other than through our parent’s unfortunate marriage. I am
no longer your guardian. Thankfully that part of my life is over. I
am under no obligation to provide for you in any way. The last
stipend you received was the last you will receive from me. Use
whatever money you have left from that to purchase a ticket –
somewhere. I don’t care where you go. You have been a burden to me
for nearly half of my life. It will be a relief to be rid of
you.”

“But
where should I go?”

Silence
was her only answer. Julian drank steadily and appeared to have
completely forgotten about her.

For the
first time in her life Lizzie was at a complete loss to know what
to do. Panic threatened to rob her of all sense of logic. She
battled a wave of sickness that was so strong for a moment she
thought she was going to lose the contents of her stomach all over
the floor. She fought the heavy thundering of her heart to be able
to recall his words, but she couldn’t think past the buzzing in her
ears. The world swam as disbelief and alarm grew. She struggled to
contain the wild surge of fear that made her physically
tremble.

“I don’t
care where you go,” Julian declared when the silence had lengthened
to breaking point. “Your behaviour tonight has been deplorable. I
can no longer assume that someone will take you off my hands. You
have no marriageable qualities I can make use of. You are now
tarnished because of McArthur, who has no more interest in you than
I have. He thought you were that Bradwort woman. You just happened
to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he took advantage
of you thinking you were his future wife.”

“He
offered for me,” Lizzie countered weakly. She was trying
desperately to try to salvage some sense of pride but knew deep
down that he was right.

“His
back was pressed against the wall. He had to save face in front of
his friends and associates; people who are important to him. What
else could he do?” Julian countered and took a swig of his brandy.
“Did he mention offering for you prior to that debacle?”

Lizzie
didn’t answer and felt a pang of hurt sweep through her when he
smirked knowingly.

“He
isn’t going to offer for you.”

“You
don’t know that,” she replied.

Julian
snorted. “He made no attempt to stop you leaving, did he? He was
busy hurrying that Melissa Bradwort into the house away from
you.”

She
swallowed and battled tears. It pained her to acknowledge it but
Julian was right. The last time she had seen Ben, he had been
hurrying Melissa into the house. He hadn’t remained with her:
Lizzie. That hurt more than anything.

“You
leave me no choice but to cast you out of Pendlebury House. Given I
am not a complete scoundrel, I shall accommodate you overnight
tonight, but it will be your last in this house. I want you out of
her by noon tomorrow, Elizabeth, or I shall physically throw you
out myself.”

Lizzie
stared at him and watched in stunned disbelief as he stood up,
yawned casually as though they had been discussing nothing more
important than the weather, and quietly left the room. She stared
at the closed door blankly once he had gone, and struggled to
absorb just how catastrophically different her future now was. The
only overwhelming fact that registered on her senses was that she
had nowhere to go. She could try to throw herself upon Julian’s
mercy in the morning but, given that this was her self-centred,
greedy step-brother, she knew that pleading with him would only
hand the reins of control to him. God only knows what he would try
to threaten her into. She could be sold into marriage faster than
she could blink given how naturally mercenary he was, and how
desperate he was for money right now.

For the
first time ever she was stunned speechless, and completely at a
loss to know what to do or how to react. While the clock on the
mantle ticked loudly, she wracked her mind for anyone who might be
able to accommodate her. With little or no money to use for a
coaching ticket, the opportunity to leave town was non-existent.
Even if she could find a far off relation somewhere, she didn’t
have the money to spend on a ticket to get further than the
outskirts of London. Not unless she was prepared to
walk.

“Think
calmly, Lizzie,” she whispered aloud as she stared blankly at the
rug beneath her feet.

She knew
that if she had any chance of surviving her new life she had to
think like Julian, and be just as cold and callous as him. With
that in mind, she walked over to his desk and began to rifle
through the contents littering the surface. When she came up empty
handed she turned her attention to the wall behind the desk. She
knew her step-father had kept a safe in the study somewhere and
suspected that Julian hadn’t bothered to move it. If only she knew
where it was, and how to get into it she could see if her brother
had a secret stash of funds somewhere.

She
didn’t even want to think about the fact that she was stealing from
her step-brother, and what he would do if he found out, but if she
didn’t get some money then she would be forced to spend tomorrow
night out on the street. It was clear that she had to leave the
house and there was nothing, unless she was prepared to beg, she
could do to prevent it. Her refusal to go cap in hand to Julian
left her with little choice but to look after her own interests.
That unfortunately meant she had to put her worries aside and do
whatever she needed to do to make sure she had a roof over her
head; like steal the necessary funds she needed to get a post
chaise out of town to wherever she thought of going.

When she
found the safe several long minutes later, she sighed despondently
to find the door ajar and nothing inside. The curse she emitted was
as uncharacteristic as it was loud as she turned her attention to
the rest of the room. She frowned and tried to think like Julian,
and consider the places he would be likely to use as a hiding
place. Trying to think like her step-brother was difficult though
because she was tired and on the verge of tears. The emotional toll
of the evening made it difficult to focus her thoughts on anything
of note. When her mind remained blank, she was forced into search
the contents of the shelves. Luck shone down on her eventually
though and she stumbled across a rolled up stash of bank notes that
were far more than she thought Julian might ever own. It was enough
to get her away from London far enough so she would never have to
see Julian again. Not only that, but she could now afford
accommodation and whatever food she wanted, for a few weeks at
least.

With her
immediate problem now partly resolved, she tucked the money into
the bodice of her dress and checked the room for anything she had
left askew or ajar. Just knowing she had money made her feel a
little more confident about her immediate future. Now, if only she
could think of which way she should go in the morning then
everything would be fine.

Her
attention turned to the faces of the people in the numerous
portraits still adorning the walls. They were staring down at her
blandly from their lofty perches; their faces bland. Unfortunately,
not one of them were still alive, and they meant little to her
because they weren’t even her relatives. They were all Pendleburys.
Unable to stay beneath the stern gazes from the past, she quietly
let herself out of the room.

Rather
than go to her room, she walked toward her mother’s suite of rooms
at the rear of the house. It was difficult to go into them because
they reminded her so painfully of the past but tonight something
deep within her wanted to feel closer to her mother. After all,
this was most probably the last time she would get the opportunity
to sit amongst the things her mother used to use when she had been
alive.

Her sigh was loud when she sat in the window seat, but
silence quickly settled about her. There was no possibility she
could call upon any of the remaining Pendlebury family, even if
there were any left and she knew who they were. The last thing she
could do was ask Julian. Even if he was prepared to tell her, she
wasn’t going to turn to a Pendlebury for help. That left her own
side of the family to consider; the Pinners. Her mother had
predominantly socialised with members of the
ton
while she had been alive, but
had once told Lizzie that they had only a handful of surviving
relatives left from the Pinner side of the family because most of
the family members had been elderly when Lizzie had been born.
Lizzie knew that over the intervening years they had all passed
away. She had tried to keep in touch with as many as she could
until their demise however hadn’t been permitted to visit them as
she had wanted to because Julian had said it was too expensive. He
had even refused to allow her to visit Bristledown, the Pinner
family estate, which had burned down when she was eleven years old
and taken the life of her father.

As a
result, as far as she knew there were only two members of the
Pinner family left besides herself, and one of them she hadn’t
corresponded with for a long time. One was in Scotland somewhere,
but was somewhat reclusive and she couldn’t even be sure of their
name. The other lived in Derbyshire the last time Lizzie had
corresponded with her.