Redemption (19 page)

“You
did? Why?” Her voice came out as a breathless rush. Her fingers
clenched tightly in her lap as she tried to stop them trembling
with the force of her need to touch him.

“I
wanted to talk to you, Lizzie. Somewhere where we could be alone
and free to talk in private.”

“As I
remember, we didn’t do much talking,” she whispered.

“I don’t
regret it and won’t apologise for it,” he murmured. He kissed the
back of her hand. “My only regret is that I allowed you to leave
before we managed to talk. I should never have allowed Julian to
order you home the way he did. By the time I got through the crowd
that night, you had gone. I wished now I had followed you here and
demanded to speak with you.”

“Julian
would have blocked you,” Lizzie replied. “I cannot help but think
that he pre-planned sending me away. He seemed to be almost too
calm when he told me to go; and was less angry than expected once
we got here. He was far too calculating to be normal.”

“He
saved his scorn for the public display,” Ben sighed. “I am sorry
about that Lizzie. I take full responsibility for what happened
that night.”

“It
wasn’t your fault. I should have stopped things going as far as
they did.”

Ben
sensed that they could have both continued taking portions of the
blame for hours and kissed her hand again to reassure her that
there was no ill feeling. “In reality, I think neither of us are to
blame. Julian is the one who was public with his condemnation, sent
you away, and refused to tell me where to find you.”

“Why
were you trying to find me?” she asked with a frown. “You said you
followed me on the night of the ball because you wanted to talk to
me? What about?”

“I
wanted to find out if you would consider getting to know me a
little better.”

Lizzie’s
cheeks blushed. Her gaze immediately dropped to the rather severe
curve of his lips. She didn’t say the words but they were both
aware that they knew each other considerably better after the
intimacies they had shared.

“I
didn’t think you even knew I was alive,” she whispered, feeling
more gauche and awkward than she cared to admit.

“How
could I not?” he whispered. “You are the most beautiful woman I
have ever met.” He meant every word.

She
struggled to focus on his words. “I should have liked that,” she
replied somewhat uncomfortably.

“Being
the most beautiful woman I have ever met?” he asked
teasingly.

“No, you
goose.” She rolled her eyes and smiled prettily at him. “I should
like to get to know you better.”

“Good.
Then let’s start again, shall we?”

“From
the beginning?” Her thoughts immediately turned to what they had
shared in the folly and a tiny thrill of eager anticipation swept
through her.

Ben
hesitated. As far as he was concerned they were most definitely not
going to go back to mere acquaintances with a stiff and formal
courtship. They had already gone too far for that; and had shared
too much for him to even countenance going back to stiff bows and
overly distant politeness.

“No,
Lizzie. We cannot go back to the beginning,” he murmured. “I won’t
allow it. For the best part of the last few weeks I have worried
that you were dead. We cannot go back to a formal courtship. Not
now.”

Before
she could think of anything to say, the soft touch of his fingers
on her chin increased in pressure until she had no choice but to
look at him.

“Am I
frightening you, Lizzie?” His breath remained suspended while he
waited for her response.

She
slowly shook her head. “No, I am just pleased you are here,” she
replied honestly.

He
heaved a sigh of relief. “Good. Then unless you have any objection,
we shall carry on from where we left off,” he murmured, slowly
drawing closer.

He
narrowed the distance between them. She looked at him with limpid
eyes. He moaned low in his throat and brushed her lips with his.
The hot sweep of her breath shivered across his lips elicited a
groan that reverberated through them both.

She
leaned toward him, silently pleading for more. The fingers touching
her chin disappeared but were replaced by his warm palm, which
cupped her cheek in a tender hold that held her still while his
lips settled more fully over hers. Desire, and a need to rekindle
the steady flames of passion, swept through them both. He
plundered; she allowed it. She drew him closer; silently searching
for something, she didn’t know what, and he eagerly acceded to her
demands.

He was
the one who would ease the ache; the hunger, deep within her she
just knew it. In that moment, she knew that there would be nobody
else for her but this wonderful man who was currently making her
feel more desired and protected than she had ever felt in her
entire life. She wasn’t sure whether it was his gentleness, or the
emotions he brought forth within her, but the delightful sensations
coursing through her were encouraged by love she had never thought
possible before. She couldn’t deny him; but then she couldn’t deny
herself either.

As lips
plundered, hands searched and tugged at clothing, desire flared to
life. Lizzie felt the laces on the back of her dress ease but
couldn’t stop him.

“Lizzie,
tell me to stop,” he pleaded, stunned to find that putting only a
few inches of distance between them proved nearly
impossible.

“I
can’t,” she whispered, and drew his head back toward hers for
another kiss.

An hour
later, Lizzie lay on the chaise, wrapped securely in his arms.
Their limbs were entwined in a shockingly intimate pose that would
have surprised even the most liberal members of society, but Lizzie
didn’t care. It felt right; it felt entirely natural, and she
couldn’t move if her life depended on it. While she had just shared
some shockingly intimate moments with the man beside her, the
hidden hunger deep within her remained unappeased. It left her to
wonder what came next, and left her eager to know more. She knew
that their relationship would take its own natural course over
time, and she was happy to wait for the right moment to take the
intimacy to the next level.

For now,
the prolonged kisses and intimate caresses they had just shared
were more than enough to assure her that he felt the same way about
her as she did about him.

“Are you
alright?” He murmured huskily. His body ached fiercely with a
hunger that he had only just managed not to completely satisfy but
he didn’t care about that. He could withstand any physical torment
as long as he didn’t frighten her into backing away from him or,
God forbid, made her want to return to Derbyshire.

She
looked up at him a little shyly. “I am fine.”

“It is
perfectly normal for a couple to share that, sweetheart,” he
assured her. “We haven’t gone too far just yet.”

“Yet?”
She leaned back to look up at him.

He
kissed the tip of her nose. “It is only a matter of time before we
take matters further. You should know that, sweetheart. However, we
both deserve better than our first time being cramped on Julian’s
chaise. While Pendlebury House is a nice house for what it is, we
both deserve more comfortable surroundings when our time comes to
take this further. For now, I am happy to wait.” He peered down at
her in stern warning. “Just promise me you won’t go anywhere again
without telling me first. I don’t ever want you to vanish on me
again, Lizzie. Ever. Don’t ever put me through that
again.”

“I
won’t.”

“Promise?”

“I
promise,” she whispered, fighting tears again at the raw
possessiveness on his face. His stunning declaration left her
reeling and she realised then just how much worry she had brought
him.

“Good.
So, where is Patty now?” Ben asked in a desperate attempt to get
his mind to focus on anything other than the delightful way the
soft mounds of her breasts were pressed suggestively against his
chest.

Lizzie
smiled. “I left her in the hotel. She was going to take a
nap.”

“What do
you plan to do now?” His voice was husky with a desire that just
wouldn’t leave him, but he had to content himself with pressing
gentle kisses along her temple.

Lizzie
thought about that for a moment. Did he mean ‘now’ as in this
moment while she was wrapped in his arms, or ‘now’ as in at the
present with regards to the house and the situation with her
brother?

“I have
handed over notifying the authorities that I am alive to the
solicitor. I have, however, been a little unconscionable.” She
wrinkled her nose up and looked up at him hesitantly. Although it
had seemed like a good idea at the time, now that she came to have
to recount what she had done to someone like Ben, it felt rather
sordid.

“The
last thing you could be is unconscionable, Lizzie,” he assured
her.

She
quietly told him what she had done with regards to getting Julian
to sign over Bristledown Priory.

Ben
smothered a smile and nodded in silent approval. “Do you think he
will sign?” He doubted that Julian would, but was impressed with
her determination to get the best out of a horrible situation. As
far as he was concerned it was the least Julian
deserved.

“If he
wants to get out of that prison he has to,” Lizzie countered
without any hint of concern. “He will sign. He said himself that he
doesn’t want anything to do with the place, and has shown
absolutely no interest in it since our parents passed away. He will
hardly miss it.”

“It
holds sentimental value for you though,” Ben said quietly sensing
there was a lot she wasn’t telling him.

“Yes,
sort of,” she replied thoughtfully. “I have fond memories of living
there, but it is more of a place to stay that is warm and dry, and
away from Julian than anything else.” She carefully told him what
had happened to the house in Derbyshire.

“You
cannot go back if the house is in ruins, Lizzie,” Ben warned her,
inwardly relieved. “Where would you stay? Where would you eat? No,
it is unconscionable that you should return to Derbyshire to
supervise the house being repaired. It is impossible for you to
stay at either Bristledown or your aunt’s house,” he
declared.

She
leaned back to look up at him. “You sound almost happy about it,”
she said with a frown.

“I am,”
he replied simply. “It means you have to remain here in London with
me. If you leave me your aunt’s address, I shall endeavour arrange
the necessary repairs on your behalf.”

“Oh, but
I can -”

“Yes,
you can, Lizzie,” Ben interrupted. He tightened his fingers around
hers, urging her to listen to him. “I worried and stressed about
what had happened to you each and every day you were gone. There
was not one single moment more worrying in my life than when I got
here the morning after the ball to learn that you had simply
vanished. At first I thought that Julian was just trying to keep me
from talking to you. However, he too quickly appeared concerned
that he couldn’t find you when I returned three days later as I had
promised. When you didn’t reappear, and I began to ask if anyone
had seen you, people began to whisper. Rumours meant that doors
closed to him across London, and they will remain closed until you
make it clear that you have not been harmed by him. He still didn’t
tell anyone where you were though, so people – including me – began
to fear the worst. It galls me greatly to think that he knew where
to find you, and was aware of just how worried I was, yet didn’t
see fit to tell me. As far as I am concerned, he deserves
everything you have done, and more besides. I should not be half so
lenient towards him if I was in your situation, I promise you. In
fact, as far as I am concerned he can stay in jail.”

“I am
glad you are not displeased with me,” she murmured, smiling when he
pressed a playful kiss to her lips.

“I shall
have no argument about it. Please allow me to arrange for someone
to undertake the necessary repairs to your aunt’s
house.”

“Really,
I can manage to arrange for the repairs. I learned from the
solicitor that my step-father left me a considerable amount of
money in his will. I can afford accommodation at the local tavern
while overseeing the repairs.” She was thrilled at his clear and
strong objection to not having her leave London, and smiled up at
him when he immediately began to shake his head.

“I
will oversee the repairs. I know
I am overstepping the bounds of what is proper, but I am not going
to conceive of you going anywhere from this moment onwards,
Elizabeth Pinner,” Ben warned.

“Oh?”
She sighed when her lips were captured in a possessive kiss that
was more of a branding than anything else. By the time he lifted
his head she was gasping, and could hardly remember her own
name.

“I
should so like to see the house repaired. After everything Aunt
Patty has done for me it is the least I can do.”

“Then
that is what we shall do. It is for your Aunt Patty to decide
whether she wants to live there again, you know,” Ben sighed,
wondering if he should have a word with Patty himself about staying
at McArthur House for the time being. He looked down at the woman
in his arms and mentally calculated the risks involved.