Redeemed In Shadows (26 page)

“Don’t lie to me, and don’t lie to yourself.”

She definitely wasn’t lying to herself, but to him. Yes.

Their foreheads touched as Gabe bent low speaking directly into her face, their noses pressed firmly together, their lips barely touching save for the exchange of breath that caressed her skin. Inside she was melting, on the outside she was feigning nonchalance.

“Lying will do nothing but piss me off, and I want our last time together to be memorable.”

Did he really think there was going to be a last time?

Oh Fuck no!

That was not what she wanted. Even if she craved it, it wasn’t going to happen. He was leaving, there was nothing left to do but part ways.

“You’ve lost your mind if you think you can get a goodbye fuck out of me. I’m not some piece of ass, Angel Boy.” She pushed on his chest in an effort to escape his hold, but his body molded to her, his hard to her soft and she let out a deep breath before speaking again. “No Gabriel.” She whispered.

“No?” His voice was deep, abrasive against her skin as he skimmed her face with the tip of his nose. “Why?”

Torture, it was pure torture standing there with him.

There were tons of reasons why the answer was and should be no. He was leaving. He didn’t have genuine feelings for her, and when the time came to have her back, he wasn’t there. Usually when shit went bad, Micah was there for her, and now he was gone. Like everyone else, he’d left. Granted it was not of his own free will, but she knew it was for the best. But what scared her most of all was that when she went to bed alone at night, it would be Gabe haunting her dreams, reminding her of all the things she could never have.

Deflated, she gave and said what she’d wanted to say from the moment she realized she was in over her head. Dropping her head to his chest, she let the words fall freely.

“I’ll go to sleep, imagine you’re here with me, and when I wake up, you won’t be. I’ll imagine you’re near, constantly look over my shoulder, hoping, praying that you’ll come back for me,” her eyes filled with hot tears and she looked up into his beautiful warm champagne eyes and whispered. “But you won’t, and I’ll be irreparably ruined.” Tears fell for the second time that day. Her soul bared, she allowed him to see it all, the pain, and the betrayal she felt every time someone she thought cared had left her. When she couldn’t depend on her parents love, she’d turned to others, and when that hadn’t worked, she opened herself to Micah. A demon who she thought had her best interest at heart. But hadn’t. He’d used her in the worst way, and the trust she had left was gone, used up. She was a shell with a hollow inside.

It was time for her to stop depending on others and rely on herself and she’d start right here, right now and in this moment. All love was eternal in her eyes, and when that person came along you wanted to share it with, you fought for them, didn’t let them go. But her parents had, her grandmother hadn’t wanted to leave her, but had no choice. Death had come knocking a lot sooner than anyone expected, and the doctors in that institution sure didn’t love her. What love she thought Micah had for her was gone the moment he betrayed her. Then there was Gabe. Broken words filler her mouth, because in her heart of hearts she didn’t know how to say goodbye, but it didn’t matter, either way he was leaving. In all the books she read when it came to matters of the heart, fiction and non, there was always one common goal, the same outcome, love conquered all. Just not in her case.

Gabe wrapped her up in his strong arms. He held her for long moments, giving her one of the best hugs she’d ever received. His arms were a momentary distraction from her crazy life. A connection she longed for, but had never been given. Her grandmother hugged her but not like this. In Gabe’s arms she felt at peace, at home. Gently he released her stepping back while taking her face in both his hands, his eyes searching hers for long moment before gently kissing her lips, then her nose and finally her eyes.

“Blossom, how could you think I’d just leave you. If I could stay, I would, but I promise you one thing, I’ll forever wish I could be there to hold your hand, kiss the back of your neck and love you for all time. You, Ms. Hale, will have all that and more, just not with me.” He pulled her back into his arms again, and Xee huffed out a breath before relaxing. It was going to be tough to stand on her own two feet. With no inner dialogue from another Para-housed. Jes’ baby was there, but right now, the infant was emotions only.

“I’m selfish and you think me cruel, but I’d like to create one more beautiful memory to carry back with me when I go. Something infallible. You’re the only one who can give me that...” He kissed the corner of her mouth before whispering, “Baby, please give me that.” Gabe buried his head in her neck and inhaled deep. Xee wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. Her tears falling at his words. “Give me beautiful Kapua, give me something to take back with me. You’ll forget in time, but I never will.”

She wanted to give in, but at the expense of her own heart? They held each other, rocking back and forth. His scent surrounding her in a fuzzy blanket of lust.

“I hate that I’m the one to make you cry, it hurts me deep.” Pulling back, he kissed the top of her forehead, catching more tears with his thumbs. “Living in your head isn’t healthy baby. This thing between us has to end before your true life can begin.”

He was trying to break her down piece by piece, but he was right. This thing with them would have to end before she could truly push forward. It wasn’t an excuse but a fact. She couldn’t resent him for something he had no control over. He was leaving and that was that. Taking a shaky breath, Xee accepted what was. This was the last time they were going to be together, and she was going to immerse herself into the act of loving Gabriel.



Gabe peered deeply into her hazel eyes and noticed a light. Something that wasn’t behind the green of her irises before. In their depths, he saw love, and longing. Seconds passed as they stared at one another, and the unfairness of it all threatened to buckle his knees and send him crashing to the floor. Her very life was so very short compared to his. Her life was limited to his limitless life span. Where he was going, days would equal years and before he knew it she would gone. Back to the ether from where she came.

Fall.

A voice whispered inside his head. Falling came with consequences, falling would be worse than his current situation. He knew the seeds of doubt would plant strong roots inside his veins, spreading like poison until what was once beautiful to him would be dead.

Take her with you.
The voice gave the other alternative.

That, he couldn’t do either, taking her would kill her, and she’d no longer be of Earth’s realm. He was a selfish bastard, but not that selfish. He understood the meaning of life, and even though he dealt in death, he knew how precious life was. She’d be taken to Sanctuary or worse, his youngest brother would escort her to the forbidden ruins that sat on the outer edges of hell. There she’d be forced into labor or given to a demon as a plaything. No, the best option was to leave her on Earth where she could grow old and when the time came, he’d petition to be the one to escort her into the next life. Her thread was already spun and their lifelines unable to cross except for the few moments they had in the past and this moment they had now in the present. There was no future for them.

“Allow me the honor of worshiping your body this one last time little one.” Gabe kissed the apples of her cheeks, slowly moving his lips over the coconut infused skin. She trembled at his touch, her response filling him with pride and tenderness. She reached up grabbing both his wrists, her eyes pleading. He knew what she wanted, knew she needed him to be slow and careful with her emotions.

“Undress me,” Gabe whispered. “Slowly.”

He’d already undressed her when she’d been in a subdued state, he’d wanted to wash the filth of her Para-housed from her skin, wipe away the remnants of her old self to allow her to bloom into the flower she was meant to be. Obeying, Xee carefully unbuttoned his shirt one button at a time. When his chest was fully exposed, she tormented him with open mouth kisses along his overheated skin, his stomach tightened from the softness of her lips. Such exquisite torture had him vibrating from within. She was everything he ever wanted in a mate. Bossy, but she was also kind. She did her best to hide it, but he’d caught her a couple of time talking to Jes’ daughter and the little girl had no problem approaching her. Kids were the best judge of character.

Her finger hooked into the waistband of his jeans, tugging him closer. She kissed the pulse on his neck as her fingers fumbled with the top button. If felt like his jeans were holding his dick captive, and when his erection was finally free, she squeezed him firmly. An animalistic growl slid past his lips as his head fell forward onto her shoulder as she started to stroke him.

“Come with me,” he whispered in her ear, regretfully pulling away from her grip. He led her to a place in the room that sunk further into the ground. Pillows and thick furs lined the inside of the opening. Carefully he maneuvered them down the three steps onto the plush floor.

“Lay on your side,” Gabe commanded, his voice raw with emotion. He watched as she obeyed. One hand propped up holding her head so she could watch him. Kapua Hale was all woman, even with her pink hair. Curves graced her body in all the right places. She was firm in others, but what Gabe enjoyed the most was the signature side curve of a woman’s hip. His eyes followed the pattern, starting at her face, which was glazed over in want, her lips slightly parted to accommodate her shallow breathing. Her delicate hand supporting her jaw and cheek as her eyes went from a startling green to a warm brown. He looked his fill lazily, committing every curve, every piece of art tattooed on her skin to memory. His gaze led him to her elbow, then down to the infamous dip that highlighted the outline of her ass, the indent at her hips. Supple breasts that where heavy with arousal. He had to steel himself before his plans came to an end.

Kneeling beside her, he kissed a path up her body, from her feet all the way to her neck where nibbled and bit down as softly as he could. Xee was ticklish and her laughter and breathy moans were infectious.

“Do I need to hold you down?” The sides of his mouth tilted in a grin as he tried not to laugh with her.

“No, but if you don’t hurry up and get to the good stuff, I’m going to laugh even harder.”

He pinched her side. And she giggled again.

“Get on with the sensual part.” She said trying to hold in her laugh.

“Plan on it Blossom.”



Xee sighed loudly, when she really wanted to grin. Gabe was on his hands and knees, his body hovering above her as he continued his kissing assault. She was on her back now, looking up at him as he kissed the side of her throat, tickling her with his stubble. In the background she would swear she could hear music, but knew it had to be in her head. Soft chords surrounded her in the background as she strained to listen. The voice was asking about being someone’s one and only love. That was all she could make out because Gabe had stopped kissing her and commenced with the biting again.

“Are you with me Xee?” He asked against her stomach, his golden hair mussed and tickling her skin as he looked at her from beneath thick lashes.

“Yes, thought I heard music?

Gabe gifted her with a smile before fitting their bodies together and lowering his face to hers.

“What song,” he asked playfully.

“The song, don’t you hear it?”

His entire face was lit by this new smile she’d never seen before. His eyes were bright and clear, but instead of saying yes, he shook his head no.

“No, I don’t hear anything.”

Was she going crazy, or was she turning into a sapsucker, hearing words to a song that wasn’t really playing. A song, she’d never heard before. Gabe noticed the confusion on her face and braced both hands on either side of her head as he stared down her. He watched her intently for long moments and then as if cued by the imaginary music he said he couldn’t hear, he started singing softly to her with a voice that only an Angel could possess. He sang about confession, friendship, and love. He wanted her to be his one and only, and she was down for all of that and more.

Warm champagne eyes starred back at Xee and although she heard every single solitary word, she whispered.

“Sing to me again.”

The music stopped and there the two of them lay suspended in time as words that were never spoken poured from their souls. At the same time, they were confessing to the other their love, their commitment, no matter how short her life would be, and she knew Gabe was telling her that for him, she was it. It was on the tip of her tongue to beg him to take her with him, but she never got to say the words. Gabe gave her his weight hugging her close to his body, burying his face into the side of her neck. He just held her. Words were not exchanged. They just held one another. They’d wasted so much time and now things were changing too fast, and not fast enough. She would never see him again and she needed this moment to last forever. Every breath, every squeeze of his arms, every touch, and taste she tucked into her memory banks. Even the words he sang to her. She was going to buy gazillion copies of the song and only listen to that song for as long as she lived.

There bodies were perfectly aligned, allowing him to be nestled between her legs. He didn’t need to be given an invitation. He would forever be welcomed in her arms, her bed, and her heart.

“I wish we had more time.” Her hands roved over the expanse of his back. She rubbed and massaged his skin with her fingers coaxing a grown from him. Gently he lifted himself enough to place a hand between them to touch her in the place she needed him most. She was already wet and ready for him when he slid inside, both of them groaning in pleasure, as he loved her slowly. His thrusts languid as he slid in an out of her body. Every nerve ending attuned to the rapidly building need that spread throughout her limbs.