Redeemed (5 page)

Kenzie glanced down at her hands and wrung them on the table top before she looked back up. “I was there… In the room.”

Ashley’s eyes shot wide open. Was that possible? The idea had never occurred to her.

Kenzie continued. “I was hiding from the world because I didn’t want a mate. I was sitting by the far window in a tall armchair, curled up against the world. When the door burst open and that bastard dragged you inside, I was stunned. He didn’t notice me and you were on the floor out of sight. I froze.”

She paused. Ashley didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve regretted my actions that night all these years and here you are, the very woman who was terrorized and taken against her will. I’m so sorry.” She leaned forward but quickly ducked back and lowered her gaze as though she had no right. “If only—”

Ashley found her voice. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I was right there. It scared the hell out of me. I was only nineteen at the time. I was a coward.”

“You were hardly more than a child. So was I. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t imagine I would have done anything differently if I’d been you.”

“I never wanted to mate after witnessing that. It was absurd, but I worried there were other claimings that went that way. He was so mean. He—you don’t need me to rehash what he did. Sorry.”

Ashley tugged a smile from deep inside her. Somehow, even though she was forced to relive a moment she’d hoped never to conjure again, she was comforted by the fact this stranger had been there with her. It gave the act validity. No one, as far as she knew, had ever seen how Damon had treated her at any point. He’d been careful through the years to keep their unique relationship a secret from the world.

“Anyway, I only brought this up because I wanted you to know that if you ever need me… Like to testify or something, if they catch him, I’ll be there for you. I won’t let you down a second time.”

Ashley set a hand on top of Kenzie’s shaking grasp. They’d formed a bond of sorts. It was a small step, but for Ashley it was important. She had an ally. This woman knew some small part of what her life had been like. She was not alone.

Ashley smiled at Kenzie. “But you did find a mate. And you’re pregnant.” She glanced at Kenzie’s lap, not completely sure how she knew that last part. It wasn’t physically obvious yet. She knew wolves had sharp senses, but she’d never actually deduced something like a pregnancy before.

Kenzie grinned back. “I did. And I am.” She set a hand over her stomach. The bulge was barely visible. “Three months. The baby is due in the summer.”

“I’m so happy for you.” Ashley held Kenzie’s gaze. Now that they’d changed the subject to Kenzie’s mate and baby, the woman’s eyes nearly danced. Ashley would give anything in the world to feel as happy as Kenzie clearly felt.

Evan watched his mate out of the corner of his eye. She sat in an intimate huddle with the other three ladies for a long time, though he couldn’t hear anything they said.

From the living room, he could keep an eye on her and still pretend to be engrossed in the conversation with the four men.

Finally, Ashley stood and hugged all the women. He assumed she was planning to leave. No way was she leaving without him. Even if he had to woo her for months, she was his and their connection couldn’t be denied.

Josh slapped him on the back and brought his attention to his friend. His eyes sparkled. “Will you take her home? I intended to, but it seems things have changed. If she agrees, that is.”

“Of course.” Evan waited while Josh headed to a bedroom to grab their coats.

Ashley approached him, her gaze nailing him to his spot. “I guess my brother asked you to give me a ride.”

“He did. I would have insisted anyway.”
Just so we’re clear.

He hadn’t touched her and he knew he couldn’t until she was ready. But he needed her to know they would be moving forward at her pace, not his. Hopefully that would erase the fear in her eyes.

Josh arrived with their coats. It was cold outside, a typical January winter day in St. Louis. She wore a skirt and he wished he’d heated the car before they went out. But she was already slipping her arms into the sleeves of her jacket.

“Take care of my sister, please.” Josh gave Evan a glare. They were friends but Josh knew all too well what it was like when a man met his mate, and he was rightfully worried about his sister.

What he didn’t know was Evan would never harm a hair on her head. He’d worship her for the rest of his life or walk away if she demanded it of him.

Without a word, Evan opened the front door and stepped outside. The ground was slippery. He turned toward Ashley and grabbed her arm before she could fall on the slick steps and the front walk. It was a gesture he would extend to any woman.

She flinched, but soon relaxed her muscles and allowed him to lead the way to his car. “Thanks. I’m useless in heels.”

“I don’t know why you women wear those things. Especially in this weather.” He stared at her feet, wishing he could peel those shoes off and massage the muscles that would be tightened from the trapped confines.

Instead he jerked his gaze back toward the street and pressed the button to unlock his car. He drove a silver Infiniti G37, his baby. It would warm up fast and the seats were heated.

As quickly as he could, he opened the passenger door and waited while Ashley lowered herself into the seat. He shut the door and rounded the car at a jog. Damn, it was cold.

In moments he had the heater running and the seats warming. He rubbed his hands together and blew into the cup he’d formed with his palms.

Her teeth chattered and he doubted it was entirely from the temperature. He turned toward her. “I’d never pressure you, just so you know. Whatever happens between us is completely up to you, and we move at your pace. I’m not an ass. If I were, your brother never would have let me take you home.” He lifted on eyebrow and grinned as he used his best logic on her.

“Okay.” She leaned more comfortably into the seat, but didn’t fully relax.

There wasn’t a thing he could do but spend time with her. The only way for her to get to know him and trust him was to prove himself over and over until she believed.

The circumstances of this mating were less than ideal, but Fate didn’t ask his opinion when She put Ashley in his path. She had Her reasons.

He pulled away from the curb and headed toward the highway.

“You haven’t asked me for directions.”

“I know where you live.” He smiled at her.

“Of course.”

“Not that I was stalking you, but I do know where you live.”

She looked out the window, chewing on her lower lip. He could see her profile whenever he glanced her direction. She was hesitant to trust. Rightfully so.

It took about twenty minutes to arrive at her parents’ home in West County. When he pulled up, he turned off the car and dashed around the hood to help her out.

“I’m a pretty good walker, you know.”

“In those heels? I doubt it. I’d be remiss if I let you fall on your ass.”

At the door, she pulled a set of keys from her purse, but before she could stick the key in the lock, the door swung open.

Ashley’s father stood just inside, his smile fading as his gaze roamed over Evan. He did manage to step aside and permit them both entrance.

“Daddy, this is Evan. Evan, my father, Paul Rice.”

Evan stuck his hand out to shake her father’s as Ashley shut the door behind them. He wanted to fall into a hole the way the man was scrutinizing him. But it couldn’t be helped. He’d known what he was up against before he’d agreed to this dinner party. The road ahead was a rough one, wrought with distrust on many levels. He had no choice but to be up to the task. After all, the prize was Ashley and to do anything else was unacceptable.

“Evan gave me a ride home. He’s Josh’s friend, the one who—”

“I know who he is. Come in. Sit. I’ll get coffee.” Paul pointed at the sofa as he passed through the room.
He knows
.

Evan had met with Paul and Laura Rice over a year ago when he’d taken over the investigation to find Ashley.

“I’m going to go, um…” Ashley pointed over her shoulder.

“Yes, you look exhausted. Go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Evan relaxed his shoulders as Ashley backed out of the room. Her sexy legs had goose bumps from the cold. Her cheeks were pink, though it was hard to know if that was from wind or nerves.

When she was out of sight, Evan sat. Slumped was more like it. He’d been tense for so many hours, he couldn’t hold himself upright another moment.

Paul returned a few minutes later with his wife behind him. “Laura, you remember Evan.” He set two steaming mugs on the coffee table.

Evan jumped to his feet. “Ma’am.”

“You’re the private investigator?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How did you…? I mean—”

They were skirting what all three of them were actually thinking. It would have been comical, if this meeting of the parents weren’t one of the most important meetings of Evan’s life. “I was with Josh and his mates when we found Ashley, but I never went inside. She was…distraught. She probably never noticed I was there. The moment I realized who she was to me, I backed off. I knew she wouldn’t be prepared to deal with that bombshell, so I let her go.”

“That took a lot of courage,” Paul said.

“You have no idea.” Evan smiled and resumed his spot on the couch as Ashley’s parents also sat.

“So, what do you have in mind now?” Laura asked. She wrung her hands together the same way he’d seen her daughter do several times this evening.

“Nothing that Ashley doesn’t expressly request. Don’t worry about that. I have only her best interests in mind.”

“What if she can’t handle this…any of it?” Paul asked.

“Then I’ll have no choice but to walk away. I’d never do anything to upset her or her progress toward healing.”

Paul shook his head slowly. “That won’t be easy.”

“No, sir. And frankly I’m hoping it won’t come to that. I can’t think of a worse fate now that I’ve met your daughter.”

“She’s so fragile,” Laura muttered.

“She’s stronger than we give her credit for, honey,” her husband added.

Both of Ashley’s parents stared at him for several moments, assessing his worth as though they could judge him by looking.

Laura finally spoke again. “You’re welcome in our home any time. Please don’t make me regret that decision.”

“Of course, ma’am. And thank you.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday. We usually have brunch at eleven if you’d like to join us,” she added.

“That would be lovely. Thank you again.” Evan stood. “I appreciate your candor. I’ll let you folks get to bed. I’ll be back in the morning.” He headed for the door. He hadn’t taken his coat off and he hadn’t had a single sip of the coffee that sat on the table in front of him.

He needed to get out of there before he lost his mind breathing in his mate’s scent. Even though she shared the home with her parents, her smell permeated every crevasse.

With a nod at the people he hoped would be his future in-laws, he left, closing the door behind him and jogging toward his car. Leaving his mate like this time and again was going to be the death of him. But it couldn’t be helped.

•●•

Ashley paced her bedroom, trying to listen to the conversation going on in the living room. She couldn’t hear much, but it sounded civil. No way in hell could she simply go to bed and fall asleep. Her heart was beating out of her chest, her hands were sweating profusely, and her libido had taken a sharp jump on the Richter scale.

No matter how hard she tried to prevent her body’s reaction to Evan, it was useless. For the millionth time, she berated herself for ever being so weak as to stay with Damon for so long. It had never been more obvious than it was now that he was never her mate. He’d insisted he was, but he’d lied.

She’d been over this with her counselor so many times, but she still beat herself up wondering why she hadn’t walked away from him. Especially in the last few years when he’d gotten lax and simply left her alone in the apartment. She could have walked out the door any day and never turned back. Why? Because of some babble about something called Stockholm Syndrome.

If she had, she wouldn’t be as damaged as she viewed herself now.

She heard the front door shut and assumed Evan had left. Exhaling, partially in relief and partially in despair, she flopped down on her bed and hugged her pillow to her chest. She curled her knees underneath her and tucked them into her skirt. Any time she was stressed she reverted to this tight ball to escape life. She’d done it for years with Damon and she still did it whenever anxiety struck.

She could hear Dr. Parman’s words ringing in her head from countless sessions.
“You are not to blame… You are the victim… You did nothing to provoke Damon’s behavior.”

At the encouragement of Dr. Parman, Ashley had done her own research on other women who had gone through similar ordeals. Women taken from their lives and forced to obey their captor for years until they were rescued. Brainwashed. All of them. Beaten down until they felt they had no alternative but to stay.

Besides the physical abuse, nearly every victim of such a crime, Ashley included, had endured tremendous psychological abuse—nouns and verbs that forced them to question their self-worth, repeated badgering that led them to believe they deserved what they’d received, and threats made to harm their family and friends should they try to escape.

Intellectually, she had come to understand why everything happened the way it had, but deep inside she might never feel quite worthy of love or companionship from anyone, especially not someone claiming to be her mate.

Not that there was any doubt. Evan was clearly her mate.

Tears leaked down her face. Why couldn’t she have met him before Damon? Why now?

She couldn’t stand for anyone to touch her, even after six months of therapy. Even her own mother made her flinch.

How could she ever enter into a normal relationship with a man?

A knock sounded at the door. “Ashley?” The muffled voice of her mother reached through the door to soothe her. A moment later, the door creaked open and her mother stepped inside. “You okay?”