Redeemed Complete: A Military Stepbrother Romance (29 page)

Harrison got up in my face. “You, Laurel, you’re my problem. I didn’t ask you to ‘help’ me out back there. I didn’t ask you to get involved, and I didn’t want you to.”

I stared, dumbfounded. “I couldn’t just let you get in trouble like that, Harrison. You weren’t telling the police anything, and it was getting you nowhere. If I hadn’t done anything you’d still be in jail.”

“I didn’t ask for your help, and I didn’t want it. I’d have been fine without you.”

“But -“

“No buts, Laurel. This whole thing between us was a mistake, I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

“What are you saying?” I couldn’t believe this was happening, I thought that when we got home things would go back to normal, now that Harrison was out of harm’s way.

“I’m saying you should stay away from me for the rest of your trip. Happy holidays.”
 

“Can’t we talk about this?” I grabbed his arm, trying to keep him around. “Don’t rush into anything.” I felt his muscles tighten when I touched him, and I could tell he was about to turn and leave, but Harrison stopped, folding his arms across his broad chest.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what I was thinking telling you all that stuff in the car. It was never going to work between us. We’re too different, and that’s even before we deal with our parents.”

My heart sank at his words. A few days ago I would have scoffed at the very idea of Harrison and me ever being anything more than enemies, but I had to admit over the last day the idea had sounded less totally insane than before. More ‘highly unlikely.’

At least, before this conversation. Now we were getting back into more familiar territory. “Then what was that, the things you said Friday night, what we did afterward?”

Harrison’s eyes bore into me. “It was a huge mistake. We should never have had sex. I wish we’d never done it.”

There it was, the gut-punch. One of the worst things you can say to someone. The tears welled up in my eyes, and I didn’t even try to hold them back. “I wish you wouldn’t throw this away so fast,” I said, not bothering to wipe my face.

“There was nothing there to throw away. The sex was fun, but it was never going to work. I’m going out.” And with that, Harrison turned and left the house, slamming the door behind him.
 

I flinched as the door shut, but by then I was already flashing back to him storming out of the house over and over, years back. I was almost used to it by now, but that didn’t make the tears hurt any less.

Chapter 19 - The Mall

It wasn’t easy, the next few days, but I tried to get my life back to some semblance of normalcy. Harrison made himself scarce, which really helped. I kept on going over what had happened between us, but that didn’t bring him back, didn’t change his mind about us.

I tried to spend more time with my dad, which he certainly appreciated, even if he found it a little strange. I figured I wasn’t home all that often and I wanted to make sure we got a little father/daughter time together.

Eventually I ran out of things we could do together, so I was by myself again. I tried helping out my stepmother Ruth in the kitchen, and that went well for a couple hours, but it was a bit awkward.

On the Thursday after Harrison’s blow up I called up Maggie, hoping she’d have some free time away from her family. I must have caught her at the right time, cause she sounded desperate to get out of the house, and jumped at the chance for non-family time.
 

We made plans to go holiday shopping that afternoon. I had a couple hours to kill before I had to get ready, I decided to catch up on my reading, dusting off the romance novel I’d ignored for a little bit too long this trip.

 
A couple hours later, I drove to Maggie’s house. The weather had cleared up over the last few days, but it had stayed bitterly cold. Even in my car with the heater on full blast, I shivered as I drove, watching the several inches of new snow on either side of the street.

I was glad that I’d dressed even more warmly than when Harrison and I went out to the forest. I wasn’t leaving anything to chance this time, despite the deceptive sun coming out, I knew it would be freezing out. The walk, no, make that run from the front door to the car had not been fun at all and had reminded me that I’d made the right decision, clothing-wise, even if my old cold weather stuff fit a little snug. Damn these curves!

It was tougher to find parking near Maggie’s house - looks like all her neighbors had family driving in from out of town. I managed to find a spot a block away then hurried to Maggie’s door, eager to get out of the cold quickly.

As I walked toward Maggie’s house, carefully stepping to avoid the small yet potentially murderous patches of ice that glistened in the weak partial sun like enticing sheets of glass, I saw two kids playing in the fresh bounty of snow.

Both were covered head to toe in giant snowsuits that completely covered them except for their faces, gleeful as possible. It was clear from the snow suit colors, one pink and the other pale blue, that one was a girl and the other a boy.

The boy sat in the show making small piles of snowballs, very focused on this work. I guess the girl must have realized what he was setting up to do, because she didn’t waste any time and attacked first, throwing from her smaller pile with pinpoint accuracy.

The boy yelped and started shouting that he didn’t have enough time to prepare, while the girl stood back and laughed before running away when he made chase.

I laughed, watching them run around the yard. Actually, run was a bit strong of a word given how deep the snow was. It was more of a slow gallop, and I knew in about a minute each would be tuckered out from all the exertion. Silently I commended their parents - what a great idea to let your kids tire themselves out in the yard full of snow, then come back in and eat or sleep it off.

Great way to get some peace around the house!

I shook my head, still smiling as I got in front of Maggie’s house. It was then that I realized that it had been years since I’d played in the snow. What Harrison and I did in the forest that day didn’t count; I meant really play around, like with a snowman and snowballs.

How come adults didn’t take the time to do stuff like that anymore? Why were we always so serious, so eager to get weighed down by the pressure of all the things we had to deal with every day? Why were we in such a rush? And even then, in such a rush, how Come we never really got anywhere new?

I didn’t have answers to any of these questions yet. I hadn’t even realized that I was thinking about them somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind. Seeing these kids playing outside, though, started the gears turning.

There really was no sense of being so busy, so hurried all the time. Maybe enjoying the moment wasn’t all that easy, but I really needed to make an effort to do so more often.

Shook my head to clear these thoughts out as I knocked on Maggie’s door. Time for that stuff later, now I was ready to shop. The door opened after the second knock, like Maggie had been waiting for me on the other side.

“There you are! Feels like I’ve been waiting forever!” Maggie stood in the doorway, all bundled up and ready to go. Her bright orange heavy jacket would not only keep her warm, but act as a swell homing beacon if we managed to get lost.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I got sidetracked watching those kids over there play.” I nodded my head in their direction, then noticed that they’d already disappeared, maybe around the back of the house, or maybe already back inside. No doubt with hot chocolate in their hands in front of the fire.

“No worries.” Maggie leaned against the doorway and put the back of her hand against her for head, closing her eyes and acting all dramatic. “I had ever despaired of your finally arriving. I felt that I would waste away in the time that it took for you to finally come.”

Same old Maggie. “Well, madame, I have finally arrived to take you away from this horrid place.” I bowed as low as I could with my own heavy coat on. “Will start now accompany me to the purveyor of fine things?”

She gave me her hand, as daintily as a heavily pregnant woman could, Her eyes fluttering way more than they should. “ My stars! Why, of course I shall. Lead the way!” She closed the door behind her and we both shivered without the heat coming from inside.

I dropped the act. “Y’all ready to go?”

“Yup, got everything I need, right here.” We walked down the steps and to the curb. I started to turn left to lead to my car, just assuming that I would drive, when Maggie put her hand on my elbow and stopped me. “Let’s take my car.”

I turned around to face her. “How come?”

Maggie rubbed her belly, looking down before focusing back on me. He’s been jumping a little bit lately, and I want to make sure the delivery kit isn’t too far from me, just in case.”

Of course that made sense. Maggie looked like she was ready to burst. If that was me, I’d already have moved into the hospital, but Maggie was the very definition of a trooper.

“Right, right, of course.” I nodded vigorously, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We’ll take your car. Want me to drive?”

“Would you? Thanks, love.” She reached into her purse and shuffled around in there for her keys, finally dragging them out and handing them to me with a rueful smile on her face.

“Sure thing!” We got in the car and were off to the mall. I stole a glance back at Maggie’s neighbor’s house as we left, looking for those kids, but they were still nowhere to be found.

Maggie was oddly quiet on the drive to the mall. I didn’t push the point and try to make small talk once I realized she wasn’t responding with her usual pep. I figured she must be exhausted, both from the never-ending assault a large and close family around the holidays creates, coupled with the whole, you know, being super duper pregnant thing she had going on.

We pulled into the mall just outside Summitville and I began hunting for a parking spot. Apparently the rest of the surrounding area had the same idea for how to spend the afternoon, and there were slim pickings at first.

We drove around for a few minutes, hunting and darting around chasing down phantoms and mirages of free parking spaces. Maggie occasionally pointed me toward one, but by the time we got there, another car was just settling in. It was frustrating, and I could clearly see that Maggie had something on her mind.

Finally, we found a spot after some more searching and managed to slide in just as another car came a-calling. Maggie and I smiled at each other over our minor victory, and joined the crowd moving throughout the mall in waves.

“Did you bring a list?” Maggie asked me as we entered the mall and loosened our scarves after the first gust of warm air hit.

“A list of what?”

“Of gifts, dummy! People to buy things for and what to get them? Remember why we’re here?” Maggie sounded tired but of course she didn’t miss a chance to jump all over me.

I smiled, knowing I would give her just the same courtesy if our roles were reversed. “Oh,” I said. I hadn’t thought of that, duh. “No, no list here. I’ll just wing it. My list isn’t that big anyway.” I’d get a few gifts for people back in New York, and of course Maggie, whom I’d probably shop for a little later, my father, stepmother, and Harrison.

Oh boy, buying a gift for Harrison. That was kind of a minefield if I’d ever heard of one. He was doing that thing again, something that I had already begun to get used to, even though it has only been such a short time that we were, or had been… Involved.
 

I called it involved because I didn’t have any other word to use that made any sense. But the thing of his where he would get close to me, and then push me away for whatever reason, invented or not, was on the closing in cycle again. I didn’t know what he wanted, beyond what he’d said after the police station, but more importantly than that, I had to figure out what I wanted.

And that of course was super hard. I wanted Harrison; I want him more than I had ever wanted anyone or anything else in my life. But at the same time, I couldn’t stand to be on this roller coaster he had dragged me on to any longer. It was just too much to deal with. And soon I’d have to go back to New York anyway.

“Where are you?” Maggie was looking at me. I must’ve gotten stuck in my own head again, and I shook my head to try and clear those thoughts away.

“Sorry about that,” I whispered just above the throngs of people around us. “I was thinking about something else for a moment.”

“You sure were,” Maggie joked, smiling. “Was he a big soldier with nice tattoos?”

My cheeks got red. “Something like that,” I shrugged, trying to change the subject. “Which store should we get to first?”

Maggie looked around, her eyes wandering over all the storefronts arrayed out before us. “There are so many choices, I almost don’t know where to start. Why don’t we head in this direction and see what we find?”

“Good plan!” I agreed, glad that we were avoiding Harrison talk for even a little longer. I was sure Maggie was curious but I wasn’t in much of a mood to talk about him. I needed to figure myself out.

We started down the large wide corridor of the mall, all decked out in festive green and red wreaths, streamers, and lights. The people we passed by clutched bags of holiday shopping, some fresh-faced and ready to hit the stores, others tired from a day spent dragging nagging children from store to store, bored and waiting to finally stop shopping for clothes and get to the toys and video games.

Maggie stopped me all of a sudden, grabbing my hand with hers so suddenly, pulling me out of my shopping-related reveries and internal list-making, that I started to flinch before I realized it was her. “What’s up?” I turned toward her.

Maggie looked at my with her large soft brown eyes. “You know, Laurel,” she said in that motherly tone she was getting increasingly good at putting on at a moment’s notice, “you can talk to me about him, you know, if you want.”

Harrison again. “Th-thanks,” I quickly replied, suddenly feeling the need to admire my shoes in the wet tracked-in floor of the mall. “Am I being that obvious?”