Redeem Me: Oakville Series:Book Four (6 page)

His hand slides from my head to my back as he gently eases me down in the grass. Never breaking our kiss, he lays beside me. His hand slips under my t-shirt and he draws circles around my belly button with his finger. As he trails kisses from my lips to my neck, his hand slips under the waistband of my shorts. He skims my core with the tips of his fingers and I realize how real this is about to get. My throat begins to close up and my chest tightens. I can’t breathe. I jump to my feet and look down at a very confused Angel.

“I gotta go. I ca-can’t do this,” I stutter as I turn and run to my car. Angel calls out behind me, but I don’t stop to listen. I get into my car, start it up, and race away. By the time I hit the main road, tears are streaming down my face. I don’t even know why I’m crying. Angel must think I’m a total fucking nut case. Why did I freak out like that? He didn’t do anything wrong. He’ll probably never speak to me again. Not that I’d blame him. It’s no wonder I’m still a damn virgin. At this rate, I’ll die one.

When I pull into my parking space, I’m still crying big, fat, ugly tears. I rush into my apartment building, praying I don’t run into anyone. I fumble, trying to unlock my door. After a few tries, I finally get it. As soon as I’m in, I lock the door and slide down to the floor. I put my face in my hands and continue to weep. I’m so angry at myself for ruining any chance I had with Angel.

A knock at my door startles me. Quickly, I silence my crying, not wanting whoever’s on the other side to hear me. Another knock comes, a little louder than before. I have no idea who it could be and I don’t want to find out in the state I’m in. I stay as quiet and still as I can, hoping they’ll go away.

“I know you’re in there, sweet pea. Please let me in so we can talk,” Angel coaxes from the other side of the door. Shit. What is he doing here? Is he here to tell me he never wants to speak to me again because I’m a lunatic? “I want to make sure you’re okay. I’m not leaving until you open this door. I will sit out here all night if I have to.”

Well, here goes nothing. It’s time to tell him the truth and hope he doesn’t die from laughter as soon as he hears it. I take a minute to compose myself. As I wipe the tears from my face, I take a deep breath and open the door. I can’t bear to look Angel in the face, so I keep my head down. As soon as the door is open, I turn and walk farther into the living room with my back to him, my stomach churning and hands shaking. I hear the door close and I take another deep breath to prepare for whatever is to come.

I’m stunned and confused when I feel his arms wrap around me. He pulls me tight against his chest and rests his chin on the top of my head. This is so not the reaction I was expecting from him, but I have to admit, it feels nice. Everything in me is telling me to run—run far away from this man and never look back. I have a feeling I’m going to be left with one hell of a broken heart.

He takes a deep breath, smelling my hair. A low groan escapes his lips, causing my breathing to pick up. He lowers his head, his lips brushing against my ear. “Sweet pea, please tell me what I did wrong,” he whispers. A sharp pain invades my chest at the thought of making him feel like he did something wrong. It would be so much easier to tell him I changed my mind. That I don’t want to be with him. And all the past women in his life would be the perfect excuse. But, for some reason I’m not in any way ready to explore, I’m unable to lie to him. The thought of purposely hurting him hurts me.

Closing my eyes, I try to steel myself for whatever reaction he has. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Angel.” I feel him take a breath in relief. He tries to turn me around, but I don’t allow it. This is not something I can say if I’m facing him. Being in the same room is bad enough. “I have something to tell you. I totally understand if you want to run for the hills after you hear it.” He starts to speak, but I stop him. “This is hard for me to say, so please let me get it out before you say anything and I lose my nerve. I freaked out because I’ve never been with anyone before. I’m a virgin.”

Angel

V
irgin
. What the fuck? Did I hear her right? There’s no way she can be a virgin. No way in hell. How does someone go this long without ever having sex? And why would she want to give that part of herself to me? I’m not the kind of guy for that. Does she want more than just to be friends with benefits? Do I? My mind races with all of these questions. When I feel her trembling in my arms, it all becomes too much. I release my grip on her.

“I can’t do this, sweet pea,” I state, and bolt for the door. Before I step out, I turn and look back at her. A pain shoots through my chest when I see her drop to the couch with her head in her hands. When her shoulders begin to shake, I’m tempted to go to her. I don’t like seeing her hurt, but I can’t. I’m not the sweet, caring guy. And even if I wanted to be that guy, I can’t. It’s not good for anyone. I slam the door shut behind me to let her know I’m gone and drive to the bar.

I’m such an asshole, and I’m surely going to hell because of it. There had to be better ways of handling that. But that is a big damn bomb to drop. I don’t want the responsibility of being her first. I thought I’d bang her a few times, she’d be out of my system, and all these odd feelings I’ve been having would go away.

Nothing’s resolved by the time I pull into KC’s. I’m still just as pissed as I was when I left Chelsie, but I have no idea what or whom I’m pissed at. After a few drinks and one of my regular girls, all will be right with the world again.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Kyle shouts as I walk into the bar.

“Where have you been all afternoon? Did you forget we have auditions for the new Friday night band?” Paul questions while pouring me a whiskey. I don’t bother answering either one of them right away. After downing my drink, I motion to Paul for another. I want to forget this whole day ever happened. By the time I finish the second, I feel a little better.

“I had some stuff going on and I forgot about the auditions. Sorry.”

“No big deal. The first two were pretty damn bad. There’s only one left,” Kyle explains. He points to the stage where four very young guys are setting up. They remind me of us when we were first starting out. They just have more tats.

“Their name is Fallen Angels. They seem like a decent bunch of guys. Let’s hope they sound better than the last two groups,” Paul says, making a face like he just sucked on a lemon. They must have been pretty bad. Paul usually finds something nice to say about everyone.

The singer motions to Kyle that he’s ready to start. Kyle gives him a thumbs up. I’m wondering if I should stuff some napkins in my ears, just in case. The music starts and I recognize the song as one of Crossfade’s. At least they have good taste in music. To my surprise, as well as Kyle and Paul’s, based on their expressions, these guys are really good. I think we’ve found a new band for Friday nights. Too bad my life isn’t so easy to fix.

Chelsie

C
ould this day go by any slower? I’ve been interviewing for an assistant all morning. The center has gotten very busy and I’ve been stretched way too thin. So far, I’ve interviewed five girls. Three had no experience and I just didn’t click with them. The fourth, I wouldn’t trust a goldfish with, let alone a group of kids—something about her threw off that psycho serial killer vibe. And the fifth was just plain scary. I’m all for self-expression, but this girl has gone overboard. Her hair was bright green with foot-high spikes and she had so many piercings all over her face, I’d be afraid to go out in a lightning storm if I were her. There’s only one more left for today and I pray she’s at least normal.

The knock at my door startles me and I jump. Please let this one work out okay. “Come in,” I yell. When the girl walks through the door, I breathe a sigh of relief. She has long, dark brown hair and a sweet smile. Thankfully, there are no spikes and the only piercings she has are in her ears. Her big brown eyes are welcoming and friendly. Thank God. Now, let’s hope she has the experience I’m looking for.

She walks up to my desk and extends her hand. “Hi. I’m Kayleigh Ellington.” I stand and shake her hand.

“I’m Chelsie Amell. It’s nice to meet you. Please, have a seat.” I go through my standard list of questions and she answers every one perfectly. She was in a program at the vocational school for Early Childhood Development her last two years of high school, and she’s taking business management courses online right now. It doesn’t take me long to know I’ll be offering her the job before she leaves.

“So, Kayleigh, tell me a little about yourself. Any hobbies or other interests?” I ask.

“Well, I love to draw and listen to music. My boyfriend is the lead singer in a band,” she says. There’s a twinkle in her eye when she mentions her boyfriend. It’s clear to see how much she loves him. Sometimes I think I’m the only person on earth who’s unattached and incapable of falling in love.

“Why do you want to work with kids?” I ask.

“It’s something I enjoy and I’m good at. Most of all, though, it’s because of my parents. They adopted me when I was three years old, after my birth parents died in a car crash. They were both amazing parents and teachers. I always felt loved. I just want to help other children feel the same way,” she says sincerely. I really like this girl. She’s the perfect fit for the center, and me.

“Welcome aboard, Kayleigh,” I tell her, extending my hand. She reaches over and shakes it as she lets out an excited squeal. Her hand flies to her mouth and a bright red blush covers her cheeks.

“Sorry. I’m just so excited. Thank you. I won’t let you down. I promise.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret. When Amber hired me, I screamed loudly and hugged her so tight, I almost suffocated her,” I explain, hoping to ease her embarrassment. She smiles and lets out a relieved breath. “Come on. I’ll show you around.”

I spend the rest of the afternoon showing Kayleigh around. She picks things up quickly, and so far, she’s a hit with the kids and staff. Remembering she said her boyfriend is in a band, I explain the volunteer music program to her. Angel started it when Amber opened this place up. The guys come in and teach the kids how to play instruments or help with singing lessons. With the younger kids, they just play fun games or sing silly songs.

“If you’re not busy, I’d like to take you out to celebrate. We can invite Amber and the rest of the girls so you can meet them all,” I say. Her face lights up as a huge smile breaks out.

“I would love that! Count me in,” she exclaims.

After deciding she’ll follow me, I get in my car and text all the girls, asking them to meet us at KC’s. Quickly, they all begin replying with various responses, but the best ones are from Amber and Holly. Amber responds with, “Hells yeah!”, and I got an, “Abso-fucking-lutely”, from Holly. I think shy Kayleigh is in for a surprise when she meets these crazy women.