Redeem Me: Oakville Series:Book Four (27 page)

“I need to talk to her,” I exclaim, searching frantically for my phone. Kyle grabs my hand and gives me a sympathetic look.

“Let me call Amber first. Chelsie’s really upset,” Kyle suggests. I nod and pace the floor while he calls Amber and explains that the video is old. He hands me the phone and excitement builds inside me.

“Hello,” I say, my voice eager. A pit develops in my stomach when the voice on the other end isn’t Chelsie.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you right now. I told her you didn’t do anything wrong, but she’s still too upset. I’m sorry, Angel,” Amber says before hanging up. I sink to the bed, feeling lost. I can’t let this come between us. I have to go to her. She needs to hear from me face to face how much I love her. How much I love our family. My fuck ups seem to be never ending lately. At some point, she’s going to run out of forgiveness. I just hope today is not that day. I glance up at Paul and Kyle and they know exactly what I need.

“I’m calling to cancel the rest of our shows now. Be ready to go in an hour,” Paul says as he and Kyle walk out of the room. As fast as I can, I take a shower and pack what little I brought in. Forty minutes later, I’m getting on the bus. I’m so anxious to get home, my stomach is in knots. Thankfully, we’re only a couple hours from home. As it is, I might explode before we get there. None of the guys seem to be mad that we cut the tour short and for that, I’m grateful. I don’t need to beg anyone else for forgiveness. Getting Chelsie to forgive me will be hard enough.

By the time we pull up outside my house, I’m crawling out of my skin. I’ve practiced what I want to say to her over and over in my head, I just pray she hears me. As I walk up to the house, I notice Chelsie’s rental car isn’t in the driveway. I have a sinking feeling I’m not going to like what I find inside.

The house is dark and quiet and a sinking feeling settles in my gut. I put my bags down in the living room and walk into the kitchen. On the counter is an envelope with my name written on it. My hands shake as I pick it up. This isn’t good. I go to the cabinet and pull out my Jack. I’m going to need a drink for this.

I sit at the counter with the letter in one hand and my open bottle in the other. After one long swig, I open the envelope and remove the letter. Slowly, I unfold it and take another swig before reading it.

Dear Angel,

I want to start out by saying that I love you. I love you more than life itself. I’m sorry I doubted you for even a second when I saw that video. I should have known the bitch was just trying to start trouble.

What I’m doing hurts like hell, but I really think it’s for the best. You never wanted a relationship to begin with, let alone an instant family with twins. I think you’d be happier living the single life with your booze and music. You don’t need to be held back by us. I don’t want you waking up one day and resenting the babies and me because you’re stuck somewhere you don’t want to be.

I’ll never keep you from seeing the babies. We can come up with a schedule that works for both of us. But if you decide you don’t want that responsibility, I won’t hold you to anything. I’m a big girl. I can make it on my own if I have to.

When we’ve both had some time apart, we can discuss everything and see where we stand. I want you to really think about what you want. It has to be one or the other. If you decide you want to be a part of their lives, then you have to be. If you want to be on your own, then there’s no changing your mind down the road.

I wish things could’ve been different. I should have known you weren’t a man who could settle down with just one girl. Please give me the space I need right now. When I’m ready, I’ll call you.

Love Always,

Chelsie

The bottle of Jack soars from my hand, shattering against the wall in tiny shards. The amber liquid splatters all over the wall, then drips to the floor. It reminds me of how my heart feels right now. Totally shattered.

Angel

I
wake up and roll over, expecting to snuggle up behind Chelsie. When there’s nothing but a cold, empty spot on the bed, my heart begins to ache, just as it has for the last three days. Every word in her letter plays over in my head. How could she not know how much I love her and the babies? How much I want them. She’s the only one to ever make me feel like I was worthy of having what my friends have—a real family. I’ve always envied them. I know nothing is perfect, but from the outside looking in, the families Kyle, Paul, and Marcus have are pretty damn close.

How can she not see that’s what I want with her? I understand my history with the drinking and whoring around makes me a huge risk to her. She’s the complete opposite, so innocent and good. And I know I went overboard with the drinking after finding out about Kayleigh and her dad—it all threw me. I’ve never had to worry about my actions affecting anyone else. I handled it all wrong and I know it.

I need her to talk to me. To let me tell her how much she means to me. I had planned on asking her as soon as we got home.

God help that cuntress and her fugly sidekick if I ever run into them. Why she’s so determined to cause trouble between us, I have no idea. I always thought she was on the same page as me, but obviously, she wanted more than I realized. Never in a million years would I have pictured her to be so conniving and evil. I never expected something like this from her.

I can’t take this anymore. I need to find Chelsie and get her to hear me out. I pick up my phone from the nightstand and send a text to Paul. If anyone knows where Chelsie is, it’ll be Holly. His reply is quick, telling me Holly isn’t spilling. I try Kyle and end up with the same reply. Those girls are really sticking together on this. I admire them for it, but it pisses me off. I send a text to Chelsie, hoping maybe, by some slim chance, she’s ready to see me. After a while with no reply, I decide to take a shower and go look for her.

I stand under the steaming hot water, wishing she were standing with me. My cock twitches at the image of my hands exploring every inch of her silky wet skin. The way she lets out soft little moans when I touch her... Reaching down, I pull the handle of the shower until the water is ice cold. It’s a shock at first, but after a few seconds, it has the desired effect.

After my icy shower, I make my way to KC’s. As I pull in, I’m glad to see Holly’s car in the parking lot. Maybe I can convince her to tell me where Chelsie is if I beg in person. I walk inside and see Paul, Holly, and Kyle deep in conversation. As soon as they spot me, they all shut up—it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know who they were talking about. I’m thrilled they all love Chelsie and want to protect her, but they’re supposed to be my friends, too.

“Don’t stop talking about me on my account,” I snip as I take a seat next to Paul at the bar. Holly gives me her evil eye. Out of everyone, I know she’s the most pissed at me. I don’t blame her. I’m pissed at myself for allowing things between Chelsie and I to get this far. If I could take back my past and all my fuck ups, I would in a heartbeat. Hell, if I would have known I’d meet and fall madly in love with Chelsie someday, I would’ve lived my entire life like a fucking monk until she came along.

“Don’t waltz in here expecting some form of pity party from us. This is the mess you helped create. I don’t think a little suffering on your part is necessarily a bad thing,” Holly states. I narrow my eyes at her, my frustration building. I didn’t do anything wrong.

“Maybe for once you should mind your own business. I didn’t do anything wrong. Riley was from the past and as much as I hate what she’s doing, it’s not like I can control her actions. If she were a man, I’d beat the shit out of her and move on. What is it exactly ya’ll expect me to do?” I snarl. Kyle and Paul back away from us a little, trying to control their laughter. When I glance back at Holly, her nostrils are flaring and her face is turning beet red. I realize I may have just poked the beast and I’m about to get an ass whooping. In a flash, she rears back and gives me an open-handed smack across the face. My cheek stings, but I can’t help the desire I have to laugh. Paul and Kyle are doubled over, cracking the hell up. So glad they loved the show.

“Maybe that will knock the stupid out of you. I know you’re new at this whole relationship thing, but Riley isn’t the only problem here,” Holly snaps.

“What the fuck is then? I thought I was doing everything I could to show her how much I love her. For fucks sake, I bought her a house. If that doesn’t say I want to be with you forever, what does?” I retort.

“She’s insecure and afraid. You’ve been distant and drinking more. Don’t get me wrong, I understand you have a bunch of shit going on, but you shut her out. You took off on tour and the phone calls started to dwindle. Plus, she’s pregnant. She’s afraid she’s not attractive in her current state and getting that video just pushed her over the edge and made her mild insecurity major,” she explains. I never saw her as insecure. She has seemed so confident ever since the day I met her. Shy, but confident.

“What do I do to make it right? To make her see how badly I want her and our family?” I question.

“Maybe you should propose. Give her that ring you bought a few weeks ago,” Paul throws out. I shoot him a look. That was supposed to be a secret. Now that Holly knows, it won’t be for long.

“Wait a minute. You bought her an engagement ring?” Holly asks, her expression stunned.

“What does it matter? I can’t propose right now. She’ll think I’m only doing it to get her back.”

“That’s a good point. So, you’ll just have to convince her otherwise,” Holly says.

“And how do you suppose I do that? You and Amber refuse to tell me where she is. She doesn’t answer my call or texts.”

“We made her a promise. We won’t betray her for you and you can’t ask us to. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t figure out another way to help.”

She’s taken leave from the center, so I can’t even show up there to talk to her. My hands are tied. I have no way to get her to even hear me out. This is all so damn frustrating. I just don’t know what to do to fix it.

“She has a doctor’s appointment coming up soon. I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to miss anything,” I tell her. I feel like such a whiney bitch, but I want my family back. Maybe being persistent will show Chelsie how I feel. Holly jumps up, saying she has to go but she’ll call me as soon as she figures something out. It better be soon, or I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.

I sit for a while longer, allowing Kyle and Paul to rag on me some. Gotta let them have their thrills. I’d love to have a drink or three, but I guess now is as good a time as any to cut back. I want to be ready and completely sober when I get the opportunity to explain myself—if I ever get that opportunity.