RedBone (10 page)

“Now ... how does she look, everyone?” Brownie grinned, showing her crazed maniac side. “Isn’t she still the cutest Cotton of us all?”

Farah’s chest rose and fell as she sobbed and looked upon the adults for help.
Someone ... anyone ... do something, please.

“Brownie, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Elise said, rushing toward her with a murderous look in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, Mamma. She’s all yours.” Brownie ran away, leaving Farah alone in the middle of the floor.

“I’m sorry, child. I really am.” She watched her daughter scamper away, and hugged Farah tightly before ushering her out of the party. Elise couldn’t hate her daughter more at that moment if she tried. Rage, confusion, and sadness filled her heart, and their relationship would never be the same. Brownie would pay for this in life, but Elise didn’t know how.

At a phone booth outside the rec, Elise called Cosmo, Farah’s cousin on her father’s side, to pick her up. She figured the change of location for a few hours would do her good, plus she wanted a few moments alone with Brownie that she doubted would be nice. When Cosmo saw what Brownie did to his kid cousin he flipped. Since Elise didn’t give him the heavy on the phone before he came, he had to leave her outside the rec until he could go to the grocery store to buy some trash bags. Laying them all over his seats, he scooped her up, and took her to his mother Angie’s house. It took them two hours to clean her up, and Farah enjoyed the time she spent with her aunt and cousin. Angie was into holistic medicine and looked ten years younger than her actual age. She never got so much as a cold and hadn’t been sick since she was a kid. When she went to make them dinner, Farah decided to ask Cosmo a question as they sat at the dining table.

“Cosmo, did Grandma tell you what I have? The Porpia?”

He laughed at the way she pronounced it. “Yeah. That’s fucked up that it’s hereditary, but that’s all I know about it. That and that it makes your skin look bad.”

“I wish I didn’t have it.” She looked down at the wooden table. “I can’t go out in the sun sometimes, and nobody likes to hang out with me because I can never leave the house. All I want to be is normal.”

He felt bad for her because he knew she was given a tough break in life. “Look ... I don’t care how long it’s gonna take me, I’ll find out more about this shit. And when I do, I’ll get you the help that you need.” She believed him.

Cosmo had been there for her many times before. Like when she suffered from extreme headaches when she was five, and nothing seemed to work. He felt if she calmed down they would go away, after talking to his mother. He told her how she said she should breathe, but they still wouldn’t go away. Thinking on his feet, he suggested she drink orange juice with chocolate syrup and things would be fine, and it worked. The concoction had nothing to do with getting rid of her headache, but Cosmo knew she needed to believe a remedy would do the trick. Farah was so destroyed that it was hard for her to fathom that she alone was able to make things better. To her, he was very close to God.

She enjoyed the rest of her time with them until Elise requested he bring her home. Cosmo respected Elise, but he wasn’t bringing her anywhere until he could be sure Brownie was nowhere to be found. Elise told him she wasn’t allowed back in her house for at least two days so he said he was on his way.

“Cosmo, how come Mamma hate me because I’m light-skinned?” she asked from the passenger seat of his car. “I don’t think she ever really loved me.”

Cosmo, a young drug dealer and recreational thug, believed in family so it killed him to keep the secret he knew about Brownie from her for so long. If his little cousin wanted the truth, he would give it to her, ready or not.

“Your mother hates herself ... She just takes it out on you.” He continued to drive.

“I want her to love me, but I don’t know how or what to do.”

Cosmo frowned and said, “Your mother fucked that white coach at your school. Coach Jaffrey or some shit like that, but niggas call him Jay.” Farah looked at him strangely, not sure if she heard him correctly. “They used to be together when they were kids, and from what I heard it was serious. Brownie wanted more from the relationship but I don’t think Jay could do the public thing. Your mother’s dark skin walking next to his white skin gave him a complex when people looked at them out in the streets. You gotta be real strong to deal with that kind of shit.

“I ain’t gonna say if the white boy loved her or not, but I know your mother loved him more, so she couldn’t handle the rejection. When she met Ashur, she left Jay alone, and got serious with my uncle. Me and Moms thought she was done with Jay for good but then people started saying they saw her around town with the dude when she was married to Ashur.”He took a sip of the bottled water in his car. “This was all before you were born.” He looked at her and saw he had her undivided attention. “Anyway, Moms told him to watch out for Brownie, because she was not to be trusted, but Ashur wouldn’t listen. We figured he’d done so much shit in the dark that he would forgive the sins she committed in broad daylight.” He shook his head. “That white boy fucked her mind up ... and she ain’t never been the same.” He looked over at her. “So no matter what you do, Farah, you’ll never be able to get through to her. The only thing Brownie wanted was to marry that white man, and your light skin reminds her that she could never have him. A few years later, I think he married some red sister, so he was definitely into black women.”

Cosmo was young and without tact but that was his way. He didn’t stop to think what the information he dropped would do to her. Farah’s stomach swirled and her mind raced upon hearing the news. It dawned on her then that whatever Dr. Martin gave her must be working; otherwise, she would’ve passed out today, seeing as though it was the worst one of her life. “What are you saying?” Farah asked.

“You already know, little cousin.”

She swallowed. “You saying Coach Jaffrey is my father?”

Silence.

She didn’t believe him. She needed to speak to her father. . . the one who held her in his arms, and protected her from harm, so it was a good thing she was going home. The smart part of her said it made sense. Her light skin and coal-black hair was just like his. Still, she loved Ashur with everything she had and she desperately wanted to ignore what her cousin was trying to imply. “Cosmo, do you like dark-skinned girls or light skin?”

“Neither.”

“Huh?”

“I love women.
All
women. The light skin versus dark skin shit is dead to me. I be seeing chicks all the time bleach out their faces, forgetting their necks, and a whole bunch of other crazy shit like that. Like something is wrong with black period, no matter what shade you are.” He shrugged. “In Africa, before we were shipped over to this bitch, the blacker you were the better. Now, dark chicks hate who they are and wanna be something else.” He laughed. “The funny thing is, just like Coach Jaffrey was into your mother, a lot of white niggas be diggin’on black bitches ... the Italians, the Russians, and Chinese too. They just not as vocal as the black dude who dates a white broad for status.” He pulled up to her building and parked. “I love a bitch as dark as Grace Jones or as yellow as you. I just don’t give a fuck. Then again, that’s just me.”

That night, when Farah heard footsteps outside the bedroom door she braced herself for the worst, thinking it was Brownie wanting to finish her off. But when she turned around and faced the door, she saw Mia instead. In Pig Latin Mia said, “You wanna kill that bitch, don’t you?”

Silence.

“Stop with the crying,” she continued. “She not coming home tonight. Grandma was serious as a mothafucka about that shit. Plus she went to see about Daddy, so you ain’t got to worry ... Relax.”

When Cosmo dropped her off earlier that night, the neighborhood was buzzing about the triple homicide Ashur committed. Unknowingly, the family he killed was the same family responsible for the murder of their son’s pregnant girlfriend and her father. To some, he was a hero, which Elise was sure he would spin to his advantage. More interested in her father than Brownie, Farah asked, “You think he gonna get out of jail again this time?”

“Yes,” Mia said confidently. “Daddy always beats the raps.” She leaned against the doorway.

“But they saying he murdered some people in broad daylight.”

“It don’t make no difference. Shit gonna be cool. Plus you know it’s the boy who killed his pregnant girlfriend in Virginia. People in the neighborhood loving him right now.” Mia walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. It sank a few inches due to her extreme weight. There was love in her eyes as she softly touched her sister’s leg and looked at her. “Farah, Mamma was wrong as shit for what she did to you. But that’s her problem ... don’t make it yours. The girl Coconut and some other girls are outside to see you. Go hang out and have some fun.”

“I don’t wanna see them ... They tried to jump me. Farah pouted.

“And I put them bitches in they place just now, too.” Mia frowned. “And your ass should’ve stood out there and rumbled every last one of them one by one instead of running.

“Oh ... don’t think I forgot about you lying on me about fucking up Mamma’s juice that day, either. You owe me for telling her I really did that shit. Anyway, them bitches out there being fake, I know it, but that’s what bitches do. You wanna be popular, so you gotta play along, Farah.

“This disease we got fucked you up way more than us; now you got a chance to make a few friends and have a normal life.” When Farah didn’t seem to be buying it she said, “Let’s not forget that it was your fault anyway. You should’ve never jumped in the business and told that girl what Shannon said behind her back. They probably gonna ask you what happened with Daddy, and all that other stuff. Play along and be a hood star. You deserve it.”

Farah wanted to tell her about what she learned about her real father, but she pushed it down into the pit of her stomach, never to think about it again. “But what if they know?” Farah wiped tears off her face. “That Mamma put shit on my face in front of everybody?”

“How could they? I didn’t tell anybody. And you know Mamma didn’t either.”

“What about our cousins? You know they talk too much, and they were all there.”

Mia was growing frustrated at her sister’s tender heart. “Fuck ’em!” Mia scowled. “At least go outside to see what they want. If they do know, you want people to see you with your head held high not low. You a Cotton, bitch! Toughen up and act like it,” Mia said seriously. “And the temperature gone down, so you know all the cute little boys gonna be out there. Your face clearing up a little bit thanks to Dr. Martin, and if you stop having panic attacks and calm down, you might find yourself a boyfriend.”

Mia was right. Why should she suffer because of who she was? Or because of how she looked? Suddenly Farah had a new goal in mind. If people thought she was pretty because of her light skin, she would learn to use the outside characteristic to her advantage. Looking up at her big sister she said, “Fuck Mamma! I gotta do me.”

“Now you talking, RedBone!”

Chapter 10

Two Years Later

“But I’m not like y’all. I don’t like hurting people.”

—Farah

“Hey, Rhonda ... it’s Farah, she said, playing with the white cord on Coconut’s phone in her bedroom.

“Me and Natasha was just about to come over there, Rhonda said. “We getting dressed right now.”

Fourteen-year-old Farah looked at Coconut’s bedroom door to be sure she wasn’t coming. “I’m glad you called first because we not going to the party tonight.”

“Why not? We been planning this shit all week.”

“She got her period and been in pain all day. Her mother making her some tea right now to settle her stomach.”

“Where she at? Let me talk to her right quick,” she said, concerned.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Farah smiled so it could be felt through the phone. “She really needs her rest.”

“Oh ... okay ... Well, I’ll call her later.”

After placing the phone on the hook, Farah sat on the bed and waited for Coconut to come back into her room. Fifteen minutes later she entered, holding a new porno DVD, and placed it in the player. She wiggled her toes as she watched bits and pieces of the porno Coconut was obsessed with playing. While most people played music in the background, she wasn’t satisfied unless the sounds of fucking rang throughout her room. Farah watched Coconut comb her hair as she sat on the bed. Her beauty, and the effortless way she moved her body, mesmerized her. Farah wondered how it must have felt not to be plagued with the same social-killing disease that plagued her all her life. Farah wanted nothing more than to be her, have her home and even her mother, Sherry. Unlike Brownie, she wasn’t in her ear telling her that she needed to do unspeakable acts of violence to prove her love. So over the years, Coconut’s house became her refuge. Although she wasn’t allowed to go over there during the daytime hours, because of what the sun did to her skin, she made up for the time by the wild things she did with Coconut at night.

The girls were talking about boys and their lives in high school when Sherry attempted to walk in without knocking. “Ma, get the fuck outta my room!” Coconut yelled, throwing her shoe at the door. Sherry quickly closed the door to prevent getting hit. “You know I hate when you come in here without asking! Damn, respect my fucking privacy!”

“I’m sorry, honey. I was coming to bring your clean clothes,” she said from the outside.

Coconut rolled her eyes and said, “Well, hurry up.” Sherry rushed inside, as if time were not on her side and she were not head of household. Farah was amazed at how she spoke to her mother and, more importantly, how Sherry reacted to the verbal abuse. She had no doubt that with Ashur incarcerated, Brownie would not hesitate to snap her neck back if she used the same language.