Red Hats (15 page)

“Hey, it’s Alma. Are you dressed yet?”

“Yes. I’ve been up since nine watching the news.”

“Can I treat you to lunch?” Alma asked.

“There’s a nice all-you-can-eat buffet downstairs. I can call the girls and have them meet us there.”

“I’d rather take just you someplace special.”

“If you’re treating, I’m eating,” Dee joked.

Alma pushed Dee’s
wheelchair down the Atlantic City Boardwalk as they strolled toward the Tropicana Hotel where the Palm restaurant was housed. Dee had wanted to try their famous Gigi salad and ribeye steak. Alma didn’t like the looks she got from some of the black women who visibly questioned her role in Dee’s life. The looks said,
You must be the caretaker or the maid.
She knew those stares from way back. The funny thing was, Sister Dee didn’t even notice them. She just kept talking and pointing out everything that caught her eye.

When they were finally seated in the restaurant, Alma realized that her appetite had been worked up from pushing the metal chair seven city blocks. She ordered the porterhouse with mashed potatoes and creamed spinach. Dee ordered what she’d come for, the Gigi and ribeye.

“Thank you so much for lunch, Alma.”

“I’ve been wanting to do something nice for you ever since you took me in. I’m not used to letting people do things for me. It goes against my upbringing.”

“The truth is, you have been a godsend for me. I don’t know how I would have made it after my operation if it weren’t for you taking care of me like you do. All the cooking, cleaning, and most of all, just your company. I know you had planned on leaving a while ago, but I’m sure thankful you let me talk you into staying.”

Dee took out her kit and tested her blood-sugar level.

“Oh, dear. It’s three-sixteen. That’s high.”

“How did it get so high? Aren’t you watching what you eat?”

Dee’s silence said everything. She looked like a child who’d been caught trying to steal a cookie out of the jar. Her eyes welled up.

“Dee, what’s the matter?”

“It’s so hard, Alma. I can’t control this disease. I love my sweets too much. Everywhere I go, it’s there. My room has a mini-bar. I ate everything in it. I ordered room service three times. Only desserts. I’m like a junkie. What am
I going to do? I can’t keep living like this. I look down at my missing foot, and it makes me so depressed that the only thing to make me feel better is some chocolate. Sometimes I wish they’d cut the other one off just so it would match. Jesus, this thing is going to kill me.”

“Not if you don’t want to die, it won’t. You just have to choose living. Where there is life, there is hope, Dee. I know from experience. Six months ago, I wanted out. I couldn’t see the next day. Hell, I couldn’t see the next minute. I was suffocating and just wanted to be free. Free not to exist. Then you found me and helped me see that tomorrow can be a better day, and there are people in this world who share your pain and sorrows. I’m grateful to you because I can breathe now. I’m starting to taste life again. If I would have given up, I would have never had you as a friend, and I would have never met James.”

“I knew it!” Dee exclaimed. “You two will make a great couple.”

“I’m not thinking that far ahead. I’m just saying we have to fight for tomorrow, because it’s not promised. You have to do things today so that you are prepared to enjoy tomorrow if you’re blessed enough to get one.”

“You’re right. It’s just a hard habit to break. It’s like smoking cigarettes.”

“Cancer cures smoking. Let diabetes cure your sugar cravings.”

“Amen to that. I’m going to write it on the refrigerator,” Dee said.

They toasted with their water glasses as the food arrived.

“Alma, I’m really not one to get into people’s business, but I think you should know that Joy and James used to date at one time.”

“I know. He told me. And the fact that I didn’t stick that fork in the side of her head yesterday tells me that I’m OK with it. He is entitled to a past. Everybody has one. I have one, too.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that, because I wouldn’t feel right knowing I’m keeping a secret from you. I have enough on my mind as it is. I don’t need any more drama in my life.”

Alma reached across the table and held Dee’s hand. “Neither do I,” she confessed.

The Red Hats
met in the lobby of the hotel at eleven thirty on the dot. They had all donned their red hats. People took pictures as they made their way through the casino like a flock of wild red geese. Alma pushed Dee to make sure she lagged behind Joy, who blazed the trail toward the Spank nightclub on the far side of the casino. Stacy held her son’s arm as if she were his prom date. They all sat at a reserved booth in the VIP section of the Spank, which was actually right by the dance floor. Bottles of champagne, vodka, and tequila sat on the table in front of them, compliments of the manager, whose mother was a member of a different chapter
of Red Hats back in California. He thanked them for helping his mother find excitement in her old age.

Alma watched Joy down two shots of Patrόn like a sailor. She didn’t even use the lemon or the salt, just took it to the head, letting out a defiant yell to signify that she was there to let it all hang out.

“The cougar is on the prowl,” Joy growled.

The other girls laughed, then took turns downing shots of the firewater.

“Come on, girls! Let’s find us some of that fresh young meat.”

The Red Hats picked up a glass of champagne each and hit the dance floor. Alma didn’t partake. She made up her mind to keep Dee company.

“Oh, my goodness. Joy got herself one,” Dee said, gesturing over Alma’s shoulder.

Alma turned to see Joy grinding up against a man half her age on the dance floor. The guy sensed her loneliness and began dry-humping her from the back. After a few minutes of this, Joy turned around and kissed him deeply to let him know that tonight she would take it wherever he wanted to go. The young man answered her invitation by lifting her by her ass and spinning her around the crowded dance floor.

“God bless her heart,” Alma said, shaking her head like a disappointed parent.

“Poor thing doesn’t know how bad she looks right now,” Dee said.

“Shoot me if I ever get that desperate. You have my permission. Just take me out of my misery.”

“To tell you the truth, Alma, I wish someone would pick me up and spin me around like that,” Dee said sadly.

“He’d have to be really strong to lift that wheelchair,” Alma joked.

“You are too much.” Dee laughed, dodging her self-pity.

Alma watched Magdalena slip out of the club and head for the craps tables in the casino.
She’s got a serious problem
, Alma thought as she poured herself and Dee glasses of lemon water.

Stacy was on the dance floor, cutting a rug with Kenny. It was so cute to see them having genuine fun together.

“She raised that young man correctly,” Dee said, pointing.

Alma thought about her own sons and couldn’t remember them ever dancing together. In fact, they hadn’t gone on a lunch or dinner date since they were children. She fought the jealousy that was coming up with a hopeful thought of a call from James later tonight. Joy found her way back to the table to refresh her drink and to wet the young man’s whistle. She lifted the vodka bottle and poured a healthy stream into her victim’s mouth. Alma shook her head but held her tongue for fear she would look jealous.

“Hello, baby girl,” the young prey said to Alma after wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. “What’s your name, Momma?”

“Momma!” Alma answered directly, cutting his flirt off at the pass.

“Why you so mean?” he asked.

“Leave her alone, Charles. She ain’t no fun,” Joy said.

“Maybe we should bring her back to your place and teach her how to play. You want to play with us?” he asked.

“Joy, take your disrespectful boy toy away from here before there’s nothing left but his teeth on the dance floor,” Alma threatened. “You know I don’t play.”

Joy grabbed the vodka bottle and her plaything and led him away from the impending dental-reconstruction work.

Alma felt better
after she got out of the shower. The cigarette smell was gone from her skin and hair. She sat on the bed in her room and reached for the remote control, then noticed that the message light was blinking on her cell phone.

“Hey, Miss Wonderful, this is your neighborhood stalker checking in on you. I’m sorry you’re not there to talk. It’s late here, and I’m about to get some sleep. I was thinking about you. I’m sure I’ll see you in my dreams again. If you see me in yours, come sit down and talk to me. If you’re not too afraid, give me a kiss, then sit back and let me dream my dream. I miss you. Kisses.” James blew a soft kiss.

Alma smiled as she stored the message. There was a
loud noise from someone being thrown against the wall next door. Alma heard giggling, then another thud.

“Oh, God! Yes! Yes!” Joy exclaimed.

Alma turned off her lights and listened to the sounds of Joy getting her groove back. It wasn’t just sex. It was a show. It was wild, uninhibited, loud, wake-up-the-neighborhood sex. Alma knew Joy was putting a little extra on it to let her know it was going down in the other room. It worked. Alma felt jealous. She wondered if James could make her scream like that.
It’s been a while
, she thought. When it did happen, she was going to wake up the entire planet.

Alma helped Kenny escort Stacy
to their car, while the other Red Hats get Dee and her wheelchair into the van. It was quite comical to see these old women doing heavy lifting. The chair got bumped around several times before it finally made its way safely in.

“Thank you, ladies,” Alma heard Dee say to the group.

“Well, it certainly was a pleasure getting to know you, Alma,” Stacy said. “Please take my number, and call me if you ever need a favor. I still have some great connections in some very high places.” She winked as she handed Alma her government-sealed business card.

“I will,” Alma replied. “Kenny, you keep taking care of her. You only get one mother in this world.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Kenny said as he carefully closed the passenger door. “My mother really likes you,” he whispered. “She doesn’t like too many people, so consider it a compliment, and don’t hesitate to call her if you ever need a favor or a friend. Good-bye, Miss Alma.”

Alma stepped back as the town car pulled out of the parking lot. Stacy turned to give a little wave good-bye to the girls in the van and then a special smile and wave to Alma.

“What are we waiting on?” Alma asked as she settled into her seat in the back of the van next to Dee.

“Joy,” the Red Hats said in unison.

“She loves to make an entrance,” Magdalena blurted out sarcastically.

A few minutes later, Joy waltzed out of the Trump arm in arm with the young stud. They tongue-kissed each other sloppily. Joy tucked a few dollars into the palm of his hand. He gave her a final swat on the ass and went back into the casino.

“I hope y’all haven’t been waiting on me long.” Joy giggled.

“Long enough,” Magdalena said jealously.

“Sorry, but Charles and I couldn’t get enough of each other. I’m sure we kept Alma up all night long. Huh, Alma?”

“You sure did. I hope you used protection. God only knows what these young boys are carrying around these days,” Alma said calmly.

“Of course I did.”

“You did? Or he did?”

Joy sank silently into her seat with a troubled look on her face.

“Of course she didn’t,” Magdalena said. “Joy is just plain ol’ nasty.”

“Well, at least I get some use out of mine. Unlike the rest of you old hags in here,” Joy snapped.

“Ladies, please let’s not ruin a great trip,” Dee interjected.

“Sorry, Sister Dee. I wasn’t talking about you.”

“Yes, you were, and it’s OK with me. It’s hard to do it in a wheelchair. Not too many men want to give it to a footless grandmother. I’ll bet that’s not on anybody’s wild-and-crazy-fetish list.”

The women all laughed.

“Girl, you are crazy!” Magdalena said, coughing from laughing so hard.

An hour into
the ride home, Magdalena turned to face Alma, who was the only other person awake.

“Alma, can I borrow a couple hundred dollars from you? I have to pay my rent when I get back,” she whispered.

“You should have thought about that when you was at the blackjack table.”

“I did. That’s why I was gambling. My Social Security check didn’t come last month, and I had to dip into my savings to help out a friend.”

“Sounds like you need to call that friend and tell them you need a friend right now.”

“Come on, Alma, stop playing.”

“I’m not playing. I don’t know how you can fix your face to ask me for a handout when you don’t even know me.”

“You owe me.”

“How do you figure that?”

“When you tried to kill your fool self, I was the one who carried your ass down all those steps so you could get some fresh air. None of these other bitches lifted a finger. Except Joy.”

Alma was stabbed to the heart. She wanted to jump over the seats and strangle Magdalena’s fat neck. Instead, she coolly opened her purse and extracted the two hundred dollars she had planned to gamble with.

“You saved me, now I’m going to save you. We’re even. That means if you ever bring up something so painful again, I swear, it’s going to be a sad day for the Red Hats.” Alma dropped the money into her lap.

“I’m sorry, Alma.”

“You sure are, Magdalena.”

Alma watched her snatch up the neatly folded money, then turned her attention to the scenic view out the van’s window. She tried to calm her angry mind with images of James, but they kept getting replaced with a replay of the events over the past few days with the Red Hats. Stacy was right, Alma thought. These were just lonely, catty women with more bad than good about them. Except for Joy? Why
would Joy help carry her down four flights of stairs and then treat her with such contempt?

She would tell Sister Dee to remove her from their activities when they returned. Again, she thought of Stacy and her beautiful smile and those mistrusting eyes. Then she felt a smile on her own lips as she remembered the love and affection Kenny showed his mother. Alma fell asleep thinking about Kenny. He turned into her son Jesse for some reason. Jesse was standing in a building with a gun in his hand. It was silver, a .38 snubnose, like the cops in old movies used to have. He kept playing Russian roulette with the gun. Spinning the barrel to make a clicking sound, then lifting the shiny metal life taker to his temple. He looked down from the window and smiled at Alma, then pulled the trigger.