Red Dirt Heart 04 - Red Dirt Heart 4 (20 page)

But I knew one thing for certain. If I had to choose between my life with Charlie in Australia and the approval of my father, I know which I’d pick.

Actually, it wasn’t really a choice at all.

Because it’d be Charlie. Every time.

I sat in the trees long enough to clear my head and cool my temper. I headed back to the house with the intention of saying sorry to my dad. I wasn’t gonna apologise for setting him straight about me and Charlie being forever, but I swore at him in his house, and that was disrespectful.

I let myself in through the front door, hung my coat on the hook and walked through the quiet warmth of the house to find my momma in the kitchen. “Where’s Dad?”

She nodded to the window outside and smiled at me. “Apparently someone said something to him.”

I walked over to the glass doors that led out to the garden and stopped at what I saw. Charlie was at the barn holding the leads of two saddled horses, and I could see his smile from where I stood. Despite wearing a huge coat and standing out in the cold, he was laughing at something; then my dad walked out of the barn. Dad’s smile was wide and warm. I grabbed the door handle, but before I could walk outside, my momma said, “Leave them be, Travis.”

I turned to face her as she was putting two coffee cups on the counter. “Come sit with me,” she said.

I pulled out a stool at the kitchen counter, my mom stood on the kitchen side, leaning against the cabinet and waited for me to talk. I warmed my hands around the coffee cup. “Did he tell you what I said to him,” I asked quietly.

Mom sipped her coffee. “He summarised.”

I sighed. “I cussed at him and I wanted to say I was sorry.”

Mom surprised me by smiling. She put her cup down. “I’m sure he’s heard worse. He didn’t mean to make Charlie feel unwelcome.”

“I know he didn’t,” I said. “But Charlie… Well, maybe I was just on tenterhooks, ya know? Charlie was so nervous about meeting him. And I need them to get along, Momma. Not just for Charlie’s sake, but mine too.”

“You wanna know what I think it was?” she asked with a knowing smile. “I think your daddy was a little jealous.”

“Jealous?” I scoffed. “Of who?”

“Charlie, of course.”

I blinked a few times. “Really?” I wouldn’t have ever thought it.

“Charlie’s a brilliant rancher, is he not?”

“Farmer,” I corrected. “They don’t call ’em ranchers over there, Momma. But yes, he is. Very. But so is Dad.”

Momma smiled. “Yes, he is. We run a hundred acres, very productive, very fertile land. We turn over a few hundred head of cattle twice a year. You know that. How many do you do over there?”

“We do two and half thousand, twice a year.”

“On how many acres?”

“Oh, well…”

“How many?”

“Two and a half… million. Give or take.”

Momma laughed. “See what I’m saying, Travis?”

“But it’s not like that, Momma. It’s so different over there.”

“Even more the reason.”

“And Charlie’s different, Momma. Yes, he’s one of the most successful farmers in the territory, if not the country. But you’d never know it. He’s humble and grateful. He’s so real, Mom.”

“You love him,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“More than life itself, Momma.”

“I can see that. Goodness, we can all see that.”

I smiled as I sipped my coffee. “I know Australia is so far away, and that doesn’t exactly make things easy. But Momma, I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”

She nodded thoughtfully, then smiled. “Do you remember when you applied for that exchange program?”

“Of course. We talked about this before, Mom.”

She ignored me. “You had a list of ranches to pick from, and when you read Sutton Station, you weren’t going anywhere else.”

Figuring this would be one of
those
conversations she repeated until everyone she ever spoke to knew it word for word, I played along. “I know! I told Charlie that. I don’t think he believed me.”

Momma laughed quietly. “Come hell or high water, you were going to Sutton Station.”

I laughed at the memory. I’d put a red circle around the name and just knew,
I just knew
, I wouldn’t go anywhere else. Sutton Station: the most remote of all my options, the most desolate, isolated ranch on the list. “I sure did.”

Momma smiled warmly at me. “And now we know why.”

I looked squarely into her eyes and nodded. “It was fate or something.”

“Any more plans on a wedding?” she asked, trying for nonchalance, but I could tell she was just about bursting.

“Well, not an official wedding, no.”

She gave me a look only a mother can give. “Official? What’s not-official about it?”

I cringed, probably already saying too much. “Well, Australia doesn’t recognise same-sex marriage, Momma. So we kinda held our own ceremony.” My mom’s eyebrows almost disappeared into her hair. “No, no,” I added quickly. “It wasn’t a
ceremony
at all. There was no minister or witnesses. It was just me and him and the desert. We made promises to each other, for life, and Charlie got me this,” I said, pulling out my necklace.

I showed her the dual-stamped pendant. “See? It’s half Sutton, half Craig. It wasn’t a wedding, Momma, don’t panic. But he gave me this”—I still held the pendant—“and he held my hands and swore he’d love me every day of forever, and for me, Momma, that’s all I need.”

“Oh.” My momma’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re gonna ruin my makeup,” she said, waving her hands in front of her eyes.

“Don’t cry,” I said softly. “Who knows? One day we’ll have a real wedding. I’ll even let you plan the whole thing if you want. Lord knows Charlie won’t want know a thing about it.” I snorted. “Just not right now. We’re happy with things just as they are, Momma.”

She took a calming breath and shook her head. “I know, I know. I just want you to be happy, Travis.”

“I am, Momma.”

“And he looks after you?”

“He’s the best,” I said. “That time I got food poisoning… well, he was so good to me. He cleaned me up and watched over me for days, Momma.”

“He called me, remember?” Momma said. “Wanted to know what he could make for you that would make you feel better.”

I laughed. “See?”

Momma gave me a sad smile and let out a long sigh. “I’ll always wish you weren’t so far away.”

“I know that,” I told her. “I was thinking maybe you and Dad could visit us sometime this next year. I mean, Charlie wants us to come here every Thanksgiving, but maybe you could visit earlier in the year.”

Momma brightened. “Really? I would love that.”

“I’d love for you to see it, Momma. There ain’t a more beautiful place in the world. And you can meet everyone. You’ll love them, Momma. They’re such good people. And you can see Charlie in his element. Oh, you should see him. The tougher it is, the harder it is, the more he shines.”

“Okay, okay,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll put it to your father and see what we can arrange.”

“You don’t need an invitation. You can just turn up when it suits. Though I probably wouldn’t recommend summer.”

Just then, a car pulled up at the house. It was my brother, Michael. He came inside smiling. “Who’s winning out there?”

“What?”

He nodded back to the way he’d come. “I thought it was you and Charlie, but it’s Dad. They’re bringing in cattle from the front paddock. Looks like they’re having fun.”

We all walked to the glass door and put on our coats before heading outside. Michael was right. Dad and Charlie were corralling the cattle. We watched as Dad swung a quick left and headed off one errant steer, the horse turning on a dime. But as he was busy, two steers darted from the herd. Charlie pulled his horse around tight and took off after them at full gallop.

He was magnificent to watch.

Even on an unfamiliar horse, he leaned forward, riding stock-still in the saddle while the horse covered ground fluidly underneath him. He chased the two steer down, taking the lead and bringin’ them back around. One tried to dart off, first left, then right, but Charlie reined his horse to head him off at every turn, until the steers gave up on escape and joined up with the rest of the herd.

I could hear my dad’s “yee-haw” as they closed the gate from where we stood. Both of them were smilin’, and Charlie said somethin’ that made my dad laugh. It was clear that they were both proud of their efforts.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Charlie. Momma said, “Trust your father to find a language they both speak.”

Michael laughed, and I could feel him staring at me. “You know those cartoons where they have beating hearts in their eyes? Well, look at you.” He pushed my shoulder. “Your man can ride.”

I think I might have blushed, which of course made Michael laugh even more. I pushed him back. “Shut up.”

He tapped my face and we rumbled a bit, like we did when we were kids. “Boys,” Mom chided us, but she was smiling.

I got Michael in a headlock just as another car came down the drive. It was my sister. Still holding Michael in a headlock, like it was nothing out of the ordinary, I looked at Momma. “Are we havin’ another lunch thing?”

“Everyone wants to see you while you’re here,” she said. “Don’t look so surprised. They missed you, you know.”

* * * *

I was being subjected to some singing Disney DVD with my nieces and nephews when Dad and Charlie came back from the barn. They were both still smiling, there was no tension between them at all. In fact, there may have been a little respect.

“Have fun?” I asked him, getting up from the couch.

“You never said you had some longhorns,” Charlie said, eyes wide. “How cool are they?”

“Not a Texan if you don’t have a couple longhorns,” I said. “But it’s mostly Brahman.”

Dad clapped his hand on my back with a smile that matched Charlie’s. “That was good fun.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said quietly.

“My pleasure,” he said. “Keeps me young.” Then he chased my four-year-old nephew and scooped him up for an upside-down hug, making the kid squeal.

“Everyone clean up for lunch,” Momma called.

And so we sat around for typical Craig lunch: Momma’s cooking, my dad’s bad jokes, and laughter. Charlie was much more relaxed, and he smiled the entire time. So did my dad.

Charlie even retold the story of when I got lost in the desert, and how it was my studies in different types of soil that saved my life. He told them all how we went to Uluru and King’s Canyon, and how I drove the tour guides mad with questions.

My Charlie was back, the one who told stories and laughed without inhibition. He was a different guy the one that sat in the den heartsick with worry that my father didn’t like him.

Of course, it was a double-edged sword, because my plans for the afternoon went to hell when my dad and Charlie spent hours and hours talking stock prices, trade secrets and work, work, work.

I didn’t mind, though. I didn’t mind at all.

* * * *

Thanksgiving in the Craig household had always been a big thing. Mom liked to decorate, cook too much food and bake too many sweets. It was awesome.

I even let Charlie taste some of my Blue Bell ice cream, which was testament to just how much I loved the guy, because seriously, no one messed with my Blue Bell.

But Thanksgiving also became an early Christmas in a way, because it would be the only time of year that all the Craigs would be under the one roof. There was no tree, of course, but there were gifts, and a lot of wine. Everyone was going to stay the night, the kids were excited to ‘camp out’ in the den, but my momma was just beaming.

The wind howled outside, almost snowing, the fire crackled inside, our bellies were full and our wine glasses never empty. We sat around the cleared table, everyone was happy, smiling, you could feel the family in the room. This is what I came home for.
This
was perfect.

Later, the kids were all settled in the den and only the adults remained. Dad, who was more than a little tipsy, put on my Momma’s favourite music and pushed the coffee table out of the way, which only meant one thing.

There would be dancing.

I sat next to Charlie, of course, with my hand on his thigh. He watched as my dad walked up to my mom’s chair and held out his hand. Charlie was on his third glass of wine, his cheeks were rosy, his eyes a little glassy and his smile was warm. He even blushed a little when my parents started to dance in the living room.

And I thought,
Fuck it
. For years, I could only watch as my parents and my brother and sisters all danced with their partners. I’d never had anyone to dance with.

I pushed my seat out and stood up, throwing my napkin onto the table. I knew Charlie hated to dance, but I needed this and so I held out my hand to him.

Charlie’s eyes widened with what I was pretty sure was fear, and he snorted. “Trav…”