Recollections of Rosings (27 page)

    Rebecca was eager to hear Catherine's story. She had had little intimate contact with her elder sister since Catherine had accepted Lady Catherine de Bourgh's invitation to live at Rosings and their mother had moved with her two younger daughters to Mansfield. They were very young then, and Rebecca had always thought her sister had enjoyed life under the patronage and care of Her Ladyship. Her own youthful recollections of Rosings had been of a life of ease and luxury compared to hers.

    This was the first time she had become aware that Catherine had had any misgivings or regrets.

RECOLLECTIONS OF ROSINGS

The arrival at the house of Mr Adams—who had arranged to take Lilian to visit the new rector at Hunsford Church, where they planned to be married later that year—gave Catherine and Rebecca an opportunity to spend some time together, undisturbed.

    The sisters retired upstairs and there, in the privacy of her room, Catherine related the story that had remained her secret for over twenty-five years. She had told no one, not even her mother.

    It was the story of a young girl, gentle, modest, and not fifteen years old, who had been overwhelmed by the kindness and great honour bestowed upon her after her father's sudden death by his wealthy, influential patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

    "I had always regarded Lady Catherine as a person of great consequence; both Papa and Mama had made it appear so. Naturally I was grateful for the way she drew me into her circle, as though I were a niece or another daughter for whose welfare and happiness she had the greatest concern. She was kind and generous to me, which is probably why it never occurred to me to question Her Ladyship's judgment on most matters.

    "I travelled with her wherever she went, I wore the expensive clothes and hats which she decided I should have, I learned to draw and paint and play the pianoforte just as she thought I should. None of these tasks imposed any strain upon me; it was easy to oblige her by doing or not doing things as she wished, and there were not too many prohibitions placed upon me at Rosings. Indeed, I had more freedom to enjoy myself than I had had at the parsonage, where, as you know, Papa made the rules. I had no real complaints."

    Rebecca could well believe it; her elder sister had always been compliant and easygoing, unlike herself or their rebellious younger sister Amelia-Jane.

    "Was there nothing at all you wished you could do differently? No single occasion on which you wanted to defy Her Ladyship?" she asked.

    Catherine smiled and shook her head. "Strange as it might seem, there was none during those first years, when my life at Rosings was freer and more full of interesting things and people than I had ever known at Hunsford," she replied. "You may recall, Becky, that we did not go out much except to Rosings or to the village or on rare occasions to London or Hertfordshire with Papa?"

    Rebecca remembered it well; it had been stifling and dull for the most part and she had wondered how her mother endured it.

    "Well, at Rosings, it was very different," Catherine continued. "Lady Catherine had many relations and acquaintances who would call on her. And she insisted that I should be included on all those occasions, so I would learn how to conduct myself in society. I was often placed alongside of one of her guests at dinner, to engage them in conversation. To Lady Catherine, I was never just a paid companion like Mrs Jenkinson; she treated me as favourite god-daughter, always presenting me to her visitors as such. Mama was rather surprised, because Lady Catherine had always stood on ceremony with others, but I do believe she had decided that I would be treated as a member of her family and it was her way of having me learn the essential arts and graces.

    "I have to admit that I enjoyed it—even though some of the guests were dull, it was at least possible to observe and study them and I liked that very much. I was participating in a social world of which I knew little and to which I never would have had entry as the daughter of a country parson, were it not for Lady Catherine's intervention."

    "Did you not miss your own family, Mama or me or Amelia-Jane?" asked Rebecca, to which Catherine said with an apologetic smile, "Dear Becky, you must think me exceedingly selfish, but truly I did not. There was always so much to do—I spent much of my time reading and learning to draw and play the pianoforte. I enjoyed the walks and drives; Miss de Bourgh was never well enough to go out much, so Lady Catherine took me everywhere with her. I accompanied her on visits to London or when she visited her tenants, and she was a most active and energetic landlord, telling everybody on the estate what to do and how to do it! I found it all quite fascinating.

    "There were many interesting occasions, especially after Mr and Mrs Darcy were re-admitted to Lady Catherine's circle following Georgiana Darcy's wedding and Colonel Fitzwilliam's return from India. He was a great favourite of hers and later, when he was married, he brought his wife with him. Caroline, whom her Ladyship liked, despite her father being in trade, was wonderful fun. I think we all agreed that Caroline's charm was quite irresistible, and it was clear that the colonel was deeply in love with her. I believe I did learn a great deal from both Mrs Darcy and Caroline."

    She stopped awhile to pour out more tea before continuing.

    "It was on one of those visits that Mr Darcy, whose advice Lady Catherine sought often on matters relating to her estate, urged Her Ladyship to employ a librarian. He had visited the library, which was in the East Wing of the house where Lady Catherine rarely went. Everything was locked away in cabinets and no one used the library at all. Mr Darcy declared that its great collection, which had been put together by Sir Lewis de Bourgh and his father before him, was in danger of deterioration through neglect and the lack of professional care. 'It would be a great pity to let that occur. A good librarian will enhance and preserve the value of the collection,' he advised and Her Ladyship acquiesced and set about hiring one. Which is how I first met Mr Frank Burnett."

    Becky raised an eyebrow, "The same Mr Burnett I met on my last visit? The gentleman who now works for the Rosings Trust?" she asked.

    "The same. That was so long ago, that even I am surprised that I recall so clearly all the details of our association," said Catherine.

    Sensing a story, the writer in Rebecca was agog. She asked eagerly, "And did he fall in love with you, Cathy?"

    Catherine laughed. "No, Becky, he did not. But over the years of our acquaintance, I grew to like him very much indeed. He was so different to any of the other men I had met; well read, yet modest, his demeanour was cheerful and friendly, yet never brash or boastful, and his manners were naturally pleasing, with no trace of pretension. He was for me the very epitome of what a gentleman should be. And, though I did not suppose him to be in love with me, I will admit I had reason occasionally to think that he seemed somewhat partial to me in a friendly sort of way; I cannot claim that he ever showed by word or gesture that he was more deeply attached to me than a good friend would be."

    "But, surely, Cathy, it was possible that with time, as you became more intimately acquainted, he may have done so?" Becky persisted.

    Catherine shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know what he might or might not have felt, had there been time enough for us to pursue what I thought was a most pleasant and rewarding friendship. Yet, it was not to be."

    "But why ever not?" asked Rebecca, her eyes wide with astonishment. "What was it prevented you from continuing what must surely have been a most agreeable association?"

    Catherine looked at her sister directly and said in a voice that left Rebecca in no doubt at all of her sister's opinion, "It was the intervention, albeit with the best of intentions, of others; those who had no right to interfere in my life at all. One in particular may have believed she had a responsibility to do so, having given me a home and an income of my own when Papa died and so taken the place of a parent in my young life."

    "Do you mean Lady Catherine de Bourgh?"

    "I do. Having been told of my friendship with Mr Burnett by Mrs Jenkinson, who was in truth her spy, I think, she strongly advised me against the association and later, when I appeared not to heed her advice, she forbade me to continue the friendship," Catherine said.

    "But on what grounds? Did she give you sound reasons? Were there any impediments, obstacles that could not be overcome?"

    Catherine's countenance reflected her feelings. "Obstacles? Impediments? You ask what they were? There were none bigger and more immovable than the will of Lady Catherine herself. She insisted that no good would come of it. Mr Burnett, she declared, was not of a suitable background. While he did the job he was paid to do with exemplary diligence and attended to all other duties exceedingly well, his father, she said, was a tradesman and to Lady Catherine that was an unacceptable connection."

    Seeing Rebecca's expression of disbelief, Catherine continued, allowing herself a little ironic smile as she did so.

    "Now, had his father been a clergyman or even an attorney, it might have been a little less painful to Her Ladyship. It was, in her eyes, imprudent and unlikely to lead to happiness. She left me in no doubt that a continuation of the friendship would result in his dismissal from his position and my complete estrangement from her and Rosings. And because I was too young and unable to withstand her persuasive powers, I confess I gave in and complied with her wishes."

    Rebecca had listened, more amazed by each new revelation. "And what of Mr Burnett? Did Lady Catherine forbid him too?" she asked.

    "I do not know, I have never asked him and he has never said anything to me. But there was an end to it. Consequently she removed from my life perhaps the happiest, most engaging association I have ever known."

    Rebecca felt deeply for her sister. "And tell me, Cathy, do you still regret the loss of it?"

    "If I am to be honest, I must confess that while I was quite bereft at first, I did not give it much thought for many years, especially since Mr Burnett left his position at Rosings some months later and went away to Europe; but having met him again last year, I would be less than truthful if I did not admit that I do regret the loss, Becky, I regret it very much indeed."

    It was now quite clear to Rebecca what had transpired in her sister's life.

    Catherine had been persuaded by Lady Catherine de Bourgh to relinquish the one deeply felt attachment she had had in all her young life. She could not know that her sister had suffered much pain as a result, and for many months the sadness had hung over her like a fog, shrouding everything else around her. Visits to London and Bath had done nothing to improve her outlook, and Lady Catherine had become impatient with her lack of interest in all prospects of matrimony. But Catherine had persisted, claiming she had no interest in it, having accepted the inevitability of remaining a spinster.

    It had been many years later that she had changed her mind.

    The new rector of Hunsford, a Mr Harrison, whose admiration for her performance upon the church organ and with the choir had preceded his appreciation of her character and disposition, had approached first his patron and then the lady herself to ask for her hand in marriage. Lady Catherine had approved, and Catherine, then almost twenty-nine, had accepted and married him, much to the relief of her mother. Mrs Collins had almost given up hope of seeing her eldest girl married, and the news was very welcome indeed.

    "Becky, I do not wish you to believe that I spent nine years of my life pining for Mr Burnett, because I did not. But, having known how very agreeable such an association could be, I did not find it easy to form an attachment for anyone else; for to tell you the truth, Becky, there was not another gentleman of my acquaintance who had half the attraction," said Catherine, with a degree of frankness her sister had not known before.

    "And Mr Harrison?" Becky probed.

    "Ah, my dear Mr Harrison, well that was nine years later, and when one is almost twenty-nine, the affections and attachments of nineteen seem a rather distant if sweet memory. Mr Harrison was kind, good-natured, eminently respectable, and loved me dearly, he said. Lady Catherine, on hearing of his proposal, declared him to be an excellent choice, Mama agreed, and so, my dear Becky, I accepted him and we were married."

"And were you happy, truly happy together?" Becky asked.

"Of course," replied Catherine.

    "But Cathy, forgive me for asking this, have you ever thought that you may have been much happier with Mr Burnett?" Becky persisted.

    Catherine's answer came without any hesitation. "I have not, because the question did not arise. Thanks to Lady Catherine, the possibility did not exist. Mr Burnett neither declared his feelings for me nor made me any offer of marriage. It would only have been speculation, and one cannot build a dream of happiness upon that alone."

    Rebecca could not resist asking the question that had leapt into her mind no sooner had she discovered the identity of the gentleman concerned.

    "And Cathy, now that Mr Burnett is back at Rosings, do you meet often?"

    "Indeed and when we do, we meet as friends."