Reckless Pleasures (7 page)

9

LATER THAT MORNING, Megan poured herself a cup of coffee in the command center. She was tired and anxious and really needed to gather her wits about her.

Dari was home.

For all intents and purposes, she was glad. Especially in light of the injuries he’d suffered.

Her heart contracted. To think how close she’d come to losing him…

She remembered his innocent question earlier about how she and Jason had gotten along while he was gone, then her hesitant response and ultimately her distracting techniques. It was uncomfortably ironic that she might still lose him.

Guilt. Pure, unadulterated guilt flowed through her.

The instant she identified the emotion, she was able to take a deep breath and release it.

Since receiving Dari’s phone message the day before, she’d been operating in a state of shock, trying to keep busy so she didn’t have time to think about what she had done. Then, all at once, he was home and she’d gone into reactionary mode, playing off him…playing with him.

But at some point in the morning hours, when the lights were dim, and the immediacy of the situation relaxed, the tarlike substance coating her insides thickened and she’d been forced to confront what lay at the heart of her emotions: guilt.

“Let him see that expression and he’s sure to know something’s up.”

Jason’s quiet presence at her elbow didn’t surprise her. His words did.

She tried to shake off her uneasiness and offered up a wry smile. “Tell me about it.”

She felt his gaze on her as she finished stirring sugar and cream into her coffee.

“Hey,” he said, touching her elbow. “Are you okay?”

“I think ‘okay’ falls a little short of the mark.”

She walked to the table, sipping her coffee while she leafed through her notes.

“Anything I can do to help?”

She swallowed hard, trying not to look at him but doing so anyway. “Isn’t that the question that got me into trouble in the first place?”

Pain flittered across his face, making her instantly regret her terse response.

“Hey, you’re not the only one in deep here,” he said. “He is my best friend.”

“And I’m his girl.”

Silence fell and remained as they both considered the consequences of their hasty, ill-thought-out actions.

Megan wasn’t used to this. She’d never had cause to feel guilty before. Not because she’d never done anything wrong, but because she’d always had a good reason for what she did.

Being in need of a good orgasm somehow wasn’t rating high as far as good reasons went.

“Let me ask you a question,” Jason said, coming to lean against the table next to her. “Would you feel as guilty if he wasn’t back here on injury leave?”

“What?”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment and then finally shrugged. “Hear me out. I think we’re both wading through the same dark pool right now. One of my theories is that we feel even worse because while we were…well, you know, Dari’s ass was on the line.”

“He was injured ten days ago.” She could have gone the rest of her life without looking at circumstances in that light.

“Same difference.”

She reluctantly agreed. On more than the one count.

She focused on the papers without really seeing them. “I get your point.”

“My advice?”

She looked at him.

“Let it go.”

Easier said than done.

Just yesterday morning she would have thought otherwise. She
had
thought otherwise.

But now…

Jason cleared his throat. “Let’s both focus on the job, get through the days. I’m guessing before you know it, things will return to normal.”

Her coffee tasted bitter. She had the feeling it would have no matter how much sugar and cream she added. “My greatest fear is that ‘normal’ has been forever redefined.”

“Only if you let it be.”

She considered him from the corner of her eye. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

He gave her a long look.

“Right. Yes. Of course you are, aren’t you?”

“What you need to remember is it didn’t mean anything.”

She bit on her bottom lip.

That was the problem. It didn’t mean anything. Which made it all the more upsetting that she’d actually
done
it.

“Did it?” Jason asked quietly. “Mean anything?”

“No,” she said a little too quickly. She took a deep breath. “No. It didn’t mean anything to either of us. But, well, it will mean something to Dari.”

There was a sound outside the room. They both looked toward the open door where team members would be appearing any moment. It didn’t surprise Megan to find Lincoln Williams peering inside, his mirrored glasses perched on his nose, his face expressionless.

Did the guy never sleep?

His head disappeared again.

“I have a feeling we’re not the only ones who know what happened the other night,” she said quietly.

“Linc? No worries there. It’s hard enough to get him to speak, as it is. He won’t be offering up anything.”

She looked at him. “It’s not him I’m worried about.”

It was herself….

DARI KNOCKED BACK a slug of coffee and winced when one of the team members hit the foot of his injured leg as she passed by on her way to her chair in the command center.

“Sorry,” she said quietly.

“No problem.”

He only wished that were the case. The pain was even more intense now than it had been a few hours ago. Hell, a few days ago. He reasoned it was because of his grueling trip back home, a type of physical jet lag. It would help if he could trust himself to take the pain medication. But things weren’t quite that bad…yet.

More sleep, however, might have helped.

But when he and Megan returned to her room, the last thing on his mind had been sleep.

He’d gone more than four long months without losing himself in the smell of her…the feel of her.

And despite his pain, he’d intended to experience both as much as was physically possible.

Oh, and how he had. Just thinking about her soft moans and incredible body made him instantly hard.

He’d missed her more than he’d missed any one person ever. His thoughts had been on her far more than he would have believed possible, if only because he prided himself on keeping his mind on the job, not somewhere up in the clouds.

But every time he’d blinked, it had been her face he saw. Her smile he wanted to see. Her voice he wanted to hear. To the exclusion of almost all else.

Still, somehow the peace he’d expected to find upon his return stateside was elusive. It could be because he wasn’t actually home yet, in his own bed, surrounded by his own four walls. But he’d thought…

Well, he’d thought Megan would be all the home he’d need.

He watched her trace a line on the map tacked to a corkboard, all business, and wished he had been paying closer attention back in their room. Which underwear did she have on? Was she wearing the sexy stuff made of silk and lace and bright colors? Or her no-nonsense, white cotton undies that actually turned him on more than the expensive stuff?

Dari rubbed his forehead, surprised at his meandering thoughts.

He’d finally managed to drop off to sleep somewhere around four this morning, only to be jarred awake by the jangling telephone wake-up call an hour and a half later. Megan was already up and in the shower, but when she’d emerged, she’d suggested he sleep in. He told her he intended to jump into this hunt feetfirst, so to speak, so she’d kissed him and told him to meet her here.

Now he watched as she and Jason coordinated new search patterns on the board at the front of the room. He considered joining them up there, but thought it better to glean what details he could before pushing himself into the fray.

A half hour later he felt he had a good handle on the situation. More specifically, that a thorough search had yet to produce any results, so they needed to go back to square one, consider those angles they may have missed. Utilize equipment designed to detect trace evidence.

Someone took the seat next to him. He glanced over to see Linc.

“Hey,” Dari greeted.

Linc’s response was a nod. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going.” He looked toward the front of the room where the meeting was wrapping up. “Looks like the same applies here.”

“Basically.”

“Anything the FBI can offer?”

Linc gave him that ghost of a smile that said everything yet nothing.

Darius let it lie. He knew that if there were anything to share, Linc would share it. He was not only a partner of Lazarus Security, he was an important connection to the FBI and other national agencies.

Before he knew it, the morning briefing was breaking up, team members leaving to see to their assigned tasks. Megan came straight to him and asked how he was feeling. He told her he was fine.

“So what do I do?” he asked.

Jason stepped up next to Meg. “You’ll be riding shotgun with me.” He looked down at where Dari unconsciously rubbed his kneecap. “If you’re up for it.”

Dari couldn’t have gotten up faster, gritting his teeth to mask any pain that accompanied the move. “Man, I was made for it….”

MEGAN STAYED BEHIND in the command center. Though she was the designated contact for the day, she’d have preferred to be out in the field somewhere, doing something to take her mind off…well, everything.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll come back to clean up later.”

She looked up from the main table tracing the route Search Team #2 would be taking that day to see the motel owner’s daughter in the doorway. Megan had seen her before, but only in passing. A quick once-over told Megan the woman was maybe twenty, at least eight months pregnant and unmarried, if her empty ring finger, and lack of any sign that a ring usually occupied the space, was any indication.

She straightened. “That’s all right. Do what you need to. You won’t bother me.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, returning her attention to the map in front of her and rearranging her headset as she spoke to the team leader, directing him which direction to go.

“Head east-southeast,” she told him. “It’ll take you approximately two and a half hours to reach the first clearing…”

A head popped up from the other side of the table.

Megan blinked at wide blue eyes and a mop of blond curls. The kid was maybe two…and had taken an open interest in Megan and what she was doing.

A chubby hand appeared slowly and reached for the map.

Megan automatically shifted it to a position of safety, glad that the kid was vertically challenged, not tall enough to bypass her movements without changing position.

“Daisy, leave the nice lady alone,” the cleaning girl said.

The two-year-old didn’t appear to hear her, making a grunting sound as she tried and failed to reach the map. The name Daisy suited the child with her big, round face and yellow curls.

The girl came over and picked the kid up. “Sorry. My babysitter bailed on me this morning and I had to bring her to work. I would have left her with my mother, but she’s got an appointment this morning and can’t look after her.”

Megan rose to her full height. “That’s okay.” She extended her hand. “I’m Megan.”

The girl looked puzzled for a moment and then chagrined. “Oh! I’m sorry.” She began to extend her own hand, saw the yellow rubber glove there, then peeled it off before offering it again. “Dorothy. My, um, parents own the place.”

They shook briefly. “You have babysitter probs a lot?” Megan asked, surprised to find herself happy for the distraction from her thoughts.