Reckless Mind (22 page)

We finished our dinner and it was so good, that man can cook. He cleared the table and walked toward me, his eyes locked on mine. I'm not sure I've seen a man sexier than him, and the way he sauntered over, shirt still missing, sweats still hanging dangerous low on those narrow hips, I started to feel a need building deep in me for him.

In one swift move, Cole bent down and scooped me up into his arms, taking me past the living room down the hall to the left from where the front door was. We passed what I assumed was the bathroom, and then there were two doors side by side at the end of the hallway. He walked in through the opened one, and flipped on the lights.

“Oh my gosh, Cole.” I whispered as I took in Cole's bedroom. He must have knocked down the wall that would've separated one room into two separate rooms, because this was a serious master bedroom. The far right end was set up almost like a mini living room. He had a TV mounted on the wall, a couch and an oversized chair, much like the one in my living room.

Next to the living room was a door that looked like it led to the bathroom, but after looking closer it seemed to be a small weight room. To the left when you walked in was a bed pushed up against the center of the wall, end table on either side with lamps adorning them. Then next to that was a door leading to the bathroom. There was a smaller door that must be a closet because Cole didn't have a dresser out by his bed.

He went to his bed, which by the way happened to be the biggest bed I'd ever laid eyes on, and laid me down carefully. “Make yourself at home, I'll be right back. He walked over to the living room area and opened a fridge I hadn't noticed bringing me my favorite pop, and he had a beer for himself. “You're more than welcome to one if you want, I wasn't one to wait until I was twenty one, so you just let me know, okay?” I nodded, but I think he knew I would be fine with the pop.

“Hey, Cole, can I talk to you about something?” I stretched out on his bed, and he turned and laid down facing me when I'd asked him. He told me I could ask him anything. “Can you tell me about you growing up? Your dad seems amazing, and the guys in the shop seem like a kind of family for the both of you, but I want to know it all.”

“You know all about growing up and having it hard, but I'm telling you it's not a part of my life I like going into.” He ran his hand through his messy hair and looked away from me. Great, now I'd ruined this really special evening we were having all because I felt I had some right to know more about him than what he had been willing to tell me so far.

“I'm sorry, Cole. It's not my business, forget I even asked, okay. I don't want to ruin the night.” I leaned over and placed a tender kiss on his full lips, holding the side of his face with my hand. I wanted him to know I was here no matter what, whether he told me all the details of everything or not.

“Growing up I knew my mom wasn't like other mom's when I started school. The other kids' moms would take them to school, hug and kiss them, tell them to have a good day. My dad would wake me up in the morning, get me ready for school, and drop me at the bus stop before coming here to the shop to open up for the day.

I always had to be quiet when I got home from school, because if I wasn't it would set her off and she yelled at me to go to my room, she couldn't think around me. I always thought it was something I had done that upset her.”

Cole shook his head, his mind taking him back to those specific times and places. I threaded my fingers threw his and held his hand tight, letting him know I was here for him.

“When I was a little older I noticed she started to get even more erratic. Some days she would be so happy, she would wake up and make me breakfast and wish me a good day at school, but not even a week later she would be screaming at me, sleeping all day, and not wanting to move from her bed for days.”

“She was sick?”

“Yeah, she was sick, pretty girl. She had bi-polar disorder, and one day it just got too much for her to deal with and she killed herself. When I got home from school I went into the kitchen to get something to eat and I found her.”

My heart was breaking right now for him. Cole's voice cracked as he continued, and he shut his eyes but not before I saw them welling up with tears.

“She was in a pool of her own blood, Kahlen. Her wrists were slit open, the knife covered in her blood lay there loosely in her hand, and she was gone. I knew she was different than the other moms, but I loved her. Every day I woke up I prayed for it to be a good day so I could see the way she really was, but in the end the disease took her.”

Tears fell from his closed eyes. I leaned over him and kissed those tears away. Moving my lips to his ear I whispered, “You are a great man, Cole Westwood. I know what you are afraid of, but even if that ever happens her choice is not your fate, do you hear me? You are brilliant, talented, educated, and fucking sexy as hell, and nothing, I mean I
nothing
, will stop you from living the life you deserve and achieving all yours dreams.”

His eyes opened and he looked at me like I was what held him to the earth, I was his gravity. I inhaled sharply in surprise as Cole rolled over on top of me, grabbing the backs of my thighs and spreading my legs slightly so his aroused body connected with mine just where I wanted it to.

I ran my hands up through his hair and brought his lips down to mine. A groan left his lips and the sound of it lit something inside me that could only be put out by him. My body arched against Cole's body, he swallowed the moan that left my mouth as his tongue moved across mine intently. His lips and tongue slowly moved down my throat, and he pulled his teeth gently back up, capturing my mouth with his again.

I had an ache building deep in my stomach, and I moved against him again, wanting more of him. A sweet low chuckle left his lips, he knew what he was doing to me, knew he was building me up with no release in sight.

“Say you'll be mine, pretty girl,” He pulled back and gazed into my eyes, his hand slowly moving underneath my shirt, palm lying flat over the bare skin of my stomach. “I know you don't think you're ready for a relationship, but I'm good for you, I promise. I'll support you when you need it, if you want space I will give you that too.”

I smiled at him. He was saying he would give me everything Dr. Hyland told me a good man would. “I'll lick your entire body to set your skin on fire, just so I can slip inside you and ignite the fire even more before bringing you to the edge and falling off it with you. I wasn't lying when I said you weren't a joke to me. You are the most real thing I've ever let myself want my entire life.”

“Yes,” I whispered.

His eyes grew wide, it gave him such boyish charm, and those barely there green eyes had me hooked. “Yes?” He whispered back like he couldn't believe what I'd just said. I had a huge smile on my face when I nodded at him. “We don't have to do anything, you know, tonight. But please tell me you'll stay with me.”

“I'll stay with you, baby,” and I think that last word set Cole off again. His lips were intense, almost frantic on mine. He moved himself against me, lips moving down my neck to the tops of my breasts, back to my mouth again where his tongue moved over mine sensuously. Cole kissed me so long I thought I'd gotten drunk off of his taste.

Then he grabbed one of his t
-shirts for me, took my shorts and my t-shirt off, slipping his clothes on me. A satisfied smile broke out on his face, as he pulled his lip ring into his mouth. “Better than I'd even imagined you'd look in my shirt.”

He pulled down the blankets and settled us under them. His arms pulled me close and securely held me against his body. I laid my head on his bare chest and drew small circular patterns on his bare abs, my eyes getting heavy. Cole kissed the top of my head, telling me to sleep, and as long as I was with him he'd never let anything hurt me again.

Chapter 19

I woke up to Cole singing softly in my ear. Immediately I recognized the lyrics from
Give Me Love,
I was a little obsessed over Ed Sheeran. Cole's voice made me catch my breath, he was amazing. He shifted slightly, pulling me closer not knowing I was already awake, eliminating any space between our bodies. Warmth radiated from him, his breath caressed my cheek, and I couldn't help but place a kiss over his heart.

“You're up,” he smiled. Pulling me so I lay directly on top of him, “I'm up too,” he said as he pushed his hips into mine, laughing deep in his chest when my face turned red. “Hey, don't get like that, you're my girl, and you'll have to get used to my body reacting like this to you. It always reacts to you, ever since that first night I laid eyes on you.” Cole kissed me gently.

“It's just, I've never, you know,” This was getting more embarrassing by the second. “I just know you've had a lot of experience, and I guess I don't want to mess anything up. Like if we do something I want you to like it, you know, but I don't really know what I'm doing.” I placed my forehead down on his chest. It wasn't that I minded talking about this kind of thing with Cole, I just didn't want to think that when we moved further physically with each other that I might not be everything he needed.

He sat up a little shifting me so my back was flat on the bed, one of his legs was between mine, and he hovered over me using his forearm to keep his weight off of me. “Wait,” he looked at me in disbelief. “You're worried you won't satisfy me?” When I nodded Cole shook his head. “Kahlen, how am I going to explain this so you fully understand?”

I bit down on my lip worried like crazy he would tell me I was probably right, that I might not be what he needed. I'm extremely self-consciousness, and I don't have much self-confidence built up, I was worrying myself so much my stomach started to hurt, and I thought I might be sick.

“I'd never lie to you, okay. Yeah, I may have hooked up with a lot of girls in the past, but that's all it was, just hooking up. I never felt anything for any of them, it was purely a physical means to an end. You're worrying you won't satisfy me completely, but what you're forgetting is you have something so much more powerful over me than any of the other girls combined. You have my heart, pretty girl. When we have sex for the first time I won't be fucking you like I did other girls in the past, I'll be making love to you. I'm just as worried as you are about being everything you need.”

Wait, did he, in very roundabout terms, tell me he was falling in love with me?

“I mean, I
know
I will keep you satisfied,” his lips brushing over my neck as he spoke, his hand pushing up the bottom of his shirt I wore until his fingertips moved over my bare stomach. “I'm talking about your new favorite words being,
oh-god-yes-Cole-god-please don't stop-oh yeah-right-there-baby-oh- god,
and of course saying my name at unreasonably loud volumes as I make you come over and over again.” His hand brushed between my bare breasts still mostly covered by his t-shirt.

I could imagine one day when I was more confident in myself being able to let go with him like that, and I had no doubt whatsoever about his ability to please me.

“But being intimate with someone is more than the sex. I've never cared about a girl before you, I'm not sure if I'm doing any of this right,” his thumb brushed over the hard peak he had been teasing around before and I sighed softly. “You just tell me what you want and it's yours, pretty girl. I'll make you happy, I'll be your best friend, your lover...I'll give you my heart and soul if you want it. I'm here for you, all of me for all of you in return.”

My hands threaded through that sexy just fucked looking head of hair of his, and his hand trailed at the top of my underwear. Automatically my body responded by lifting a little, wanting more of his touch. “See, you already know what to do, your body recognizes mine the way mine responds to yours. We aren't in any hurry, we'll take our time. But just know that when the time comes you will be everything I want and more.”

He wrapped his arms around me, pressing more of his weight back on top of me as his mouth met mine passionately. Parting my lips, his tongue immediately entered at the same time as he pushed himself against me causing me to groan out in pleasure. Damn he felt so good. This was the closest we'd been, only his sweatpants and my underwear separating us. But too soon he broke the kiss.

“I hate to say this, I'd rather unplug all the clocks in the house for the next forty eight hours, but if I don't get you up out of this bed we are going to have two pr
oblems. The first being my selfcontrol, because having you lay under me in only underwear and my t-shirt is seriously testing my will power. And, Emma might hurt me if I keep you away from her for your girl time.”

“Oh shit!” I hadn't forgotten per se, Cole just had a remarkable ability to distract my mind from, well, everything. He pulled me to a sitting position with him, brushed my hair behind my ear, and kissed me softly before pulling me out of bed.

I could smell coffee brewing as I was in the bathroom changing back into my clothes. Cole opened the door, and found me in my bra and underwear. “Cole,” I said exasperated as I shoved his laughing body back out through the door.

“
I was just going to ask how you liked your coffee? I thought I remember seeing you use cream and sugar, but I wanted to be sure,” he spoke through a little crack in the door now, and it was my turn to laugh. Done changing, I opened the door back up.

“Yeah, I'm
sure
that's exactly what you were trying to figure out,” I smacked his chest as I walked past him, my shorts, his shirt still, and my bare feet. “This okay?” I gestured to his shirt I still had on, and he answered with a brilliant dimpled smile. Running his hand through his hair, he pulled his piercing between his teeth, giving me an idea.