Reckless (10 page)

He leaned forward and met her halfway across the table. “It wasn’t a sacrifice until I met you,” he whispered. “If I had my way, I’d put a big ole’ diamond ring on your finger and tell the world that you’re my woman.”

She laughed and settled back in her seat. “You do have a flair for the dramatic, don’t you, McCall?”

“I’m serious,” he said, reaching across the table to take her hand. “You’re the one, the only one for me. I knew it the night we met two years ago.”

She looked around the restaurant as she withdrew her hand from his, looking uneasy. “We can’t be seen together like this. I mean, people are going to find out you’re married and...”

“I don’t care about that, Avery...”

“You may not care about it, but I do. I swore I’d never be the other woman and I won’t be, not even for you.”

He sighed. “Why are you so hell bent on fixating on a meaningless piece of paper?”

She grunted. “You know how many men think of their marriage license as a meaningless piece of paper? Too many and you can count my father among them.”

He felt like a heel when he realized he’d been minimizing her pain. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “That must have been difficult for you.”

When her eyes finally met his, they were filled with tears. “My mother looked the other way because she wasn’t willing to give up the cushy lifestyle they’d built. She’s a brilliant, successful woman in her own right. Why would she subject herself to that kind of humiliation? Unless...”

He wished he could reach across the table and offer the comfort she so obviously needed, but he knew she wouldn’t welcome a public display of affection so he maintained his distance. “Unless what?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, I’m just speculating, but I’ve often wondered if they had one of those open marriages. Maybe they chose to look the other way when the other took a lover.” She shuddered. “It makes me sick just thinking about it.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. “I guess you’d be able to understand that kind of arrangement though, wouldn’t you? You sleep with whomever you want, your wife does the same, and it seems you couldn’t care less.”

He knew she was just angry at her parents and was choosing to lash out at him. He would gladly shoulder her burden if he thought it would help her. “You’re right, I don’t care if my ex… if Abby is sleeping around, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t respect and believe in the sanctity of marriage because I do.”

She smirked, looking angry, sad, and lost. “How do I know that? You’d probably do the same thing to me if we were ever married.”

He reared back, feeling her words with the intensity of a physical blow. No one had ever questioned his morals or his integrity before. Abby understood and agreed to the terms of their arrangement. She had cheated on him while he thought they were in a monogamous relationship, not the other way around. He had never, would never, cheat on a woman he’d promised to be faithful to, especially not if that woman was Avery. “If that’s what you think of me, I guess we have nothing left to say to each other.” He got up, but she grabbed his forearm.

“Wait, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just upset about…” She paused, letting go of his arm. “It’s my parent’s fortieth wedding anniversary today.” She rolled her eyes. “What a crock, huh?”

“Avery, I get the feeling you could use a friend tonight. If I promise not to cross the line, will you come back to my place? I’ll build a fire. We can have a glass of wine and just talk. What do you say?”

She looked up at him and it nearly broke his heart. She looked more lost, more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her.

“I think I’d like that,” she whispered.  

Chapter Five

Avery couldn’t explain why she’d allowed Ty to convince her to drop her car off at her place so they could drive back to his ranch together. Maybe it was the fact that he was concerned about her welfare and wanted to take care of her that finally broke down her defenses. No one had ever offered to take care of her, not her parents or previous lovers. Her parents had paid people to see to her needs and her past boyfriends were more concerned about having her take care of their needs. Ty was the first person who had ever looked close enough to see through the tough veneer at the vulnerability that lurked beneath her lacquered mask.

He reached across the warm, dark cab of his truck to take her hand in his. “You okay, darlin’? You’ve been pretty quiet since we left your place.”

She sniffled, grateful for the cloak of darkness surrounding them. She feared if she started crying now she may never find the strength to stop. Maybe it was hearing his story, the fact that he was willing to put everything on the line to help his parents and serve as a father-figure to a little girl that wasn’t even his, that made her realize that no one, not even her own parents, had ever been willing to sacrifice their selfish needs to ensure her happiness.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, swiping at the tear sliding down her cheek. “I don’t want to dump all of my problems on you.”

He brought her hand to his lips. “I’m here to listen. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

She fisted her other hand over her lips to thwart the trembling. “I just feel so alone, Ty.”

He kept his eyes on the road as he turned onto the unpaved road that led to his family’s ranch. “You’re not alone, sweetheart.”

“Yes, I am,” she sniffled. “I always have been. Did I mention the fact that my parents shipped me off to an all-girls boarding school when I was a kid?”

He stroked her hair and sighed. “No, that must have been rough.”

“Not only that, but I had to stay there all year. My friends would get to go home and I had to stay there for their ‘enriched’ summer programs. I knew the real reason was because my parents didn’t have time for me. They didn’t want me around.” She took a deep breath, trying to quiet the sobs wracking her body. “My father always had time for his mistresses, but he never had time for me, his own daughter.”

Ty eased the truck over the side of the road and slid across the seat to pull her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, honey.” He stroked her hair as he kissed the top of her head.

“I guess when you told me about Melanie it triggered something inside of me, something I’ve kept buried for a long time.”

“How so?”

“When Melanie was born, you were just a kid yourself. You didn’t have the life experience or financial resources to be a dad to her, but you didn’t let that stop you.”

He shook his head. “No, I did the best I could. That’s not to say I didn’t make a lot of mistakes.” He reached into the glove box and handed her a travel pack of tissue.

“Thanks.” She took one of the tissues out of the package and dabbed her eyes and nose. “I just don’t understand how a guy like you could step up and be a father to a kid who wasn’t even yours when my own parents cast me aside like a useless piece of garbage.” She hated to admit even to herself that was how her parents made her feel.

He slid his finger under her chin and turned her face toward him. “You are beautiful and brilliant and strong, Avery. If your parents can’t see that, then they’re fools.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder, hoping she could draw on some of his strength to help her reclaim the fortitude that escaped her. “I just wish things could’ve been different.”

He stroked her thigh. “I’m sure everyone wishes there was something about their lives they could change.”

She lifted her head to look up at him. “What would you change, if you could?”

He sighed and leaned his head back against the headrest. “I would have met you at a different time in my life, when I was single and able to give you the kind of commitment you deserve.”

His words were so sweet, so reassuring, but she had been disappointed too many times to allow herself to accept them at face value. He was about to embark on a life changing experience: groupies, a different city every night, fame, money, and adoration beyond his wildest dreams. Within a matter of months he’d forget he’d ever met her and she would be alone again. Only this time it would be harder to cope because she would have finally lowered her defenses and allowed someone to help her. She couldn’t take that kind of risk.

“I think maybe I should go home now, Ty. I’m too wrung out to talk anymore tonight.”

“Then just let me hold you,” he whispered. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

The promise of his strong arms around her, holding her through the night felt like a balm to her battered soul. But when he was gone, in just a few weeks, she’d be left to face life alone once more. It would be best if she didn’t allow him to provide comfort. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He shifted his body so he was facing her. “Tell me what you want from me.”

It was such a simple question, but she couldn’t find the words to express her needs to a man who couldn’t possibly meet them without sacrificing more of himself than he had already. “I don’t want anything from you.”

He took both of her hands between his to warm them. “I think we both know that’s not true. When I first met you, I knew there was something about you, about us. I knew that I wanted you, needed you, but I had no idea how much you needed me.”

She bristled at his words. She had never needed anyone in her life. She wasn’t about to start relying on a man who was just passing through on his way to bigger and better things. “You’re wrong. I don’t need you.”

He smiled, brushing a tear off her cheek. “Yes, you do and that’s okay. I want you to need me.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No, it’s not okay. I can’t afford to fall in love with you.” Where had that thought come from? Who had said anything about falling in love? He may well be talking about a mutually supportive friendship and she was making false assumptions. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, dipping her head to hide her embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was stupid.”

“Why? Is the thought of falling in love with me so inconceivable to you, or maybe you’ve never let yourself fall in love with anyone. Is that it, Avery?”

She refused to acknowledge the truth in his words, so she tried to retreat. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please take me home.”

He shook his head. “I’m not taking you home until you tell me the truth. Is it that you can’t imagine falling in love with me or you won’t open yourself up to anyone?”

She looked up to see the defiant set of his chin and she knew he had no intention of letting her go until she bared her soul to him. A thought so terrifying, she would rather run down the dark, deserted road in four-inch heels than stay in this vehicle and deal with the fallout her words would inevitably cause.

“I’ve never been in love, okay?” She looked down at their joined hands in her lap. “I’ve been too afraid to allow myself to go there.”

He reached down to brush a kiss across her trembling lips. “That’s about to change, sweetheart. Starting now.”

Ty eased back on the leather sofa and pulled a reluctant Avery into his arms. He knew it hadn’t been easy for her to let her guard down with him tonight. Now, he just wanted to hold her and continue to build on the trust that had begun to develop between them in the preceding hours.

She took a sip of red wine and stared into the flickering flames of the roaring fire. “Tell me about Melanie,” she said quietly. “What’s she like?”

Ty grabbed a framed photograph from the end table at his elbow. “This one was taken last year. She’d just turned eight and her granddaddy bought her that pony.” He chuckled. “All the other birthday presents kind of paled in comparison to that one.”

Avery’s fingertip slid over the glass. “She’s beautiful.”

He smiled at her mischievous little grin and he felt his heart expand, just like it always did when he looked at her. “I’m going to visit her this weekend. Why don’t you come with me? I’d love for her to meet her.”

She spun around to face him. “Are you crazy? You want me to go with you to your in-laws to meet your step-daughter? Don’t you think that would be kind of awkward?”

“Not at all. They’re good people, salt of the earth. They don’t have any notions about me and Abby getting back together, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

She handed him the photograph and settled into his arms again. “Do you ever think about it? Getting back together with Abby, giving Melanie a real family?”

He decided if he expected to earn her trust he would have to be completely honest with her from now on, even when omission would be the less painful route. “In the beginning I did. I missed Melanie. I wanted to be a fulltime daddy to her again. I think I would’ve forgiven Abby just about anything if it meant havin’ that little girl back in my life.”

“Your in-laws weren’t willing to let you retain custody once Abby left town?”

Ty shook his head, reliving the agony of those first few months in his mind. “No, I can understand why. I was a struggling musician, part-time student. I sure as hell couldn’t have cared for Mel the way they have. They had the financial resources, the time, and the love to give her the kind of life she deserved.”