Rebound (22 page)

“
That reminds me. I’ll be
right back.” He walked out of the kitchen and entered a room that I
believe to be his office. He spent a few minutes there and returned
to the kitchen.

“
Is everything okay?” I
asked after swallowing the bite of food.

“
Yep. I booted up my
computer. I want to show you my recent health check-up results. I’m
clean, so we can forego condoms, if you’re okay with that, of
course.” He said hopefully. I seized up. I suddenly felt nauseas. I
resisted the automatic response to drop my fork and run to the
bathroom.

“
Um. Don’t you think it’s
a bit too soon?” I paused to find the words that sounded pragmatic.
“I mean, we just started this.” Two fingers motioned between
us.

“
It’s never too soon to
have this discussion. We’re monogamous. I’m not seeing anyone else.
I don’t intend to. I hope you’re not seeing anyone else. And I hope
I satisfy you enough that you don’t intend to.” He grinned to
diffuse the seriousness of the conversation.

“
Yes . . . I’m not . . .
seeing anybody else, that is. I also don’t intend to, but it feels
rushed. As is, I’ve spent all my free time with you, and I haven’t
done that in a long time. I feel that just when I get comfortable
with what is going on between us, you take it up a notch. I’m still
reeling from you wanting me to practically move in here this week,
especially when you won’t even be here.”

“
I don’t want to make you
do anything you’re not comfortable with. Let me just show you the
report. You can make your decision at a later time. I just want you
to know that you can trust me to be safe for you because I trust
that you’ll be safe for me. I have really strong feelings for you
and I really want to see where this goes. I’m not asking you to
marry me. I’m asking for you to spend time with me. If it’s too
much, I’ll step back. Why not enjoy this?” He imitated my
two-finger-swing between us.

I took time to think. “I’ll look at
the report. I’ll consider it. I just want to be honest and tell you
that I’m not quite ready to go there—without the condom.” I
nervously picked at my food.

“
That’s fair. I
understand.” He gently rubbed my back with his large hand and
pulled me over for a hug. He kissed my temple. I turned my head to
face him. He is such a beautiful man. I reached out to touch his
cheek, caressing the hollow of his dimple, and I gave him a kiss on
the lips.

He pulled away. “Eat. You’re hungry. I
should’ve brought it up after dinner.” He continued eating his
food, and wanting to please him, I ate with more zest.

When we finished, I stood to put away
the dishes. I closed the containers of the remaining food, and
stored them in the fridge. I cleaned up the dishes, washing the
plates, utensils and cups, and wiping off the counter. He watched
me from the counter quietly observing, his arms crossed. I saw the
grin on his face.

“
What?”

“
What do you mean,
‘What’?”

“
You’re grinning like the
Cheshire Cat.”

“
I like seeing you in the
kitchen, taking care of business. You don’t have to clean up.
Glynnis will be here tomorrow, but yet, you do. And I like
it.”

“
Not everyone relies on
‘help’ to take care of simple chores. I like being in the kitchen,
cooking, and cleaning. I’ve always done it, and I don’t think I’ll
ever change.”

“
I don’t want you to. Most
women would love to have ‘help’, but the reason I like you is that
you aren’t most women. And you’re definitely not like the women
I’ve been with in the past.” I took a moment to digest that while
drying my freshly washed hands. I folded the towel and laid it on
the counter beside the sink.

Matt came up behind me and placed his
hands on my hips, pulling my behind toward his groin. “Come with me
to my office.” He whispered. With his hands on my hips, he pulled
me toward his office. He removed his hands from my hips, and sat on
his leather office chair. I hadn’t been in his office
before.

While seated, he turned to face me,
took my wrist in his hand and gently pulled me toward him. He
motioned with his free hand to sit on his lap, and I willingly sat
side saddle. He swiveled us to align with the large computer
screen. His desk was immaculate with only the large screen,
wireless keyboard, and wireless mouse. He clicked around the screen
for a bit until the screen displayed a lab report. I looked at the
date, and realized he did the blood work on Saturday.

“
When did you take the
blood test?” I asked wanting confirmation.

“
I took the test on
Saturday when I went into the hospital. I asked for a full work up
because I wanted you to know that I’m in the clear.”

“
Well, how do you know I’m
in the clear?” Forgetting a previous conversation that he has
access to all of my medical records.

“
Perla, I saw your record
at the appointment. I know that you’re clean. You were tested a
month ago when you visited your OB/GYN. You had the same testing
and all were clear. Do you want me to pull up your record so you
can compare the results between us?”

“
No, that’s not
necessary.” I whispered as I reviewed again all the ‘negative’
responses to each sexually transmitted diseases. I’d never had to
have this type of discussion with a man before. I turned to him and
gave him a deep kiss, licking the seam of his lips for my tongues
entry. It was so thoughtful that he was concerned for my safety and
trust by taking the test before our first sexual encounter. I was
aroused by him wanting to feel me bare, and I wanted to feel him
come inside of me.

We kissed longingly, my fingers
combing through his hair and massaging his neck, as his hands
caressed my waist down to my ass. Our breathing became more ragged
with the intensity of our kisses. Without tearing away from our
embrace, he put his arm under my legs, his other arm remained at my
waist, and he rose up from the chair with me in his arms. He walked
us toward the door and into the living room. I pulled my lips away
from his, and whispered, “I’m just not ready yet to go bare. Can we
use condoms for a bit longer?” I whispered, hopeful.

He gave me a small smile, his eyes
were heavy lidded, and he breathed in deeply before he responded in
a gentle tone. “Sure. Whatever you want. I just want you.” My heart
swelled. The heat rose to my cheeks. I fought back tears from
brimming to the surface.

“
Thank you.” I gave him a
peck on the lips. We reached his room and he laid me on the bed. I
reached my hand up to his waist to pull him to me. My hand slid
down to his sweatpants and felt the soft skin of his buttocks.
“Mmm. Commando. Great minds think alike.” I tugged down my Yoga
pants, showing off my pelvis. We laughed. He groaned as he settled
between my legs and kissed me as he held himself up on his
forearms.

Matt pulled away from my mouth and
looked at me with dark, needy eyes. “We don’t have to do anything
tonight, if you don’t want to. I don’t want to pressure you. I know
I’m asking for a lot, but I’ve never felt so certain about wanting
a woman as I do you. Just having you here is enough.”

We didn’t have sex. We made love. I
was convinced that it was love and not lust. After putting on a
condom, we slowly enjoyed each other’s bodies. He was gentle and
loving. Not only did our bodies express our desire for each other,
but we looked into each other’s eyes during our lovemaking,
straight into each other’s soul. His gaze, breath, and touch
embedded in my heart, and I immediately knew that I was ‘in love’.
And that thought didn’t completely fill me with joy, dread was the
other emotion that lingered just in the outskirts of my heart. I
was sure, in the deepest recesses of my heart that if he broke my
heart, unlike with Ben, I would be irreparably
destroyed.

***

We settled into a comfortable routine
for the next two days. We’d awaken, have hot, passionate sex, and
get ready side by side. I’d make us breakfast. He’d drive me to
work. At the end of my shift, he’d transport me to the Inn or pick
me up late from my class. At that late hour, we’d get take out for
dinner, or he’d buy me something to eat for my shift at the Inn.
When it was time for bed, we’d have ravaging, hot sex, and fall
into a deep and exhaustive sleep. I felt there was never enough
time together and when we were together, we’d want to spend every
moment entangled in each other’s bodies. I couldn’t get enough, and
he gave me every indication that he felt he couldn’t be without
me.

It had only been a few days of our
getting together, but I’d forgotten how monotonous, and lonely, my
routine had been. I was going to miss him profoundly. I was
starting to realize how much I liked to be taken care of. How much
I needed to be wanted. Waking up with him and going to sleep
together at night became essential for my mood. I was ‘happy’ at
work, but everyone commented that I seemed to be in the clouds. I
couldn’t disagree. I floated.

I resisted thinking about being
without him for a few days while he was overseas. Specifically, I
resisted thinking of all the doomsday thoughts: plane crash; he’d
meet another woman in Spain and stay forever; he’d realize that he
wasn’t as into me once we were apart and he’d had a few days to
review our time together. I forced myself to enjoy the time
together. If this is all I get with him, then I would live the rest
of my life being fulfilled by the experience and the knowledge that
I’d had a great week with him.

On Thursday, the day he was due to
leave for his business trip to Spain, I’d awoken early to pack my
things to take back home. I couldn’t sleep. I tried not to toss and
turn throughout the night because I wanted him to have his rest. I
watched him sleep for a little while. He looked so peaceful. Could
he look even more handsome sleeping? His flight wasn’t till the
evening, but I’d kept my shift at the Inn, so I wouldn’t see him
all day. Once I packed, I placed my bag at the front door. Despite
his offer for me to stay at his luxurious apartment, I’d decided
that I didn’t want to stay here. I needed to break out of the
bubble we’d created and get back to reality. I had my own place.
I’d neglected to stay at my studio since Sunday morning. I felt
like I was taking advantage of his generosity, and quite frankly,
his wealth.

We’d never discussed money, other than
him telling me that he was willing to share it with me while we
were together, but I knew that he was wealthy. At work, I did an
internet search to see how much he paid for his apartment, and
found out he closed on it for over two million dollars. He drives
an almost one hundred thousand dollar SUV, which is one of three
luxury cars. He revealed that he owns a house on the Cape of
Massachusetts and one in Southern Maine with his sister, which they
bought from their parents, whom reside in the house during the
Summer. When I’d asked which hotel he’d be staying at in Madrid, he
informed me that he was staying at his own apartment, which he’d
purchased five years ago. I felt my economic-self-esteem shrink
with each tally of his possessions. I estimated the value, not just
at purchase, but taxes and upkeep and it was a s shit-load of
investments. The business woman in me applauded how he managed his
money and made wise investments. I shuddered to think what his
investment portfolio would be like.

He never made me feel beneath his
status, but I couldn’t allow myself to get accustomed to his
lifestyle. While he accepted me and my lower income and multiple
jobs, I’ve yet to meet his parents, sister and her family, or his
friends, whom I gathered from our discussions are all wealthy. If
they don’t approve of me, then I figured he would follow the
consensus and end our relationship. I consistently shook off the
feelings of inferiority and remind myself to enjoy it while it
lasts. This may be a rebound, but I’m determined to make it the
best and most satisfying rebound ever.

I made coffee, heating the soy milk
that Matt bought me yesterday. I didn’t have much of an appetite.
The nervous flutters in my belly caused me to feel fluctuating
waves of nausea. When I finished stirring the sugar I put in my
coffee, I took a much needed sip. I jumped with fright when I heard
his voice.

“
Any for me?” He walked up
and stood close behind me.

“
Hi. I didn’t want to wake
you.” I turned to give him a kiss on his lips.

“
I see you packed.” He
nodded to my weekender bag sitting by the door. “I wish you’d
reconsider and stay here.”

“
Matt, we’ve been through
this. But even if I were to stay here, I’ve got to go home and get
more clothes. Wash these. I have my own place, and I figure for the
rent I’m paying, I should spend at least a few nights a week
there.”

“
You could also move in
here with me.” He said cavalierly. My heart leapt and panic
arose.

I looked at him dumbstruck. “Matt. I
know you feel comfortable saying these things so soon, but you
really shouldn’t. I’ll pretend that was never said.”

“
You can pretend, but I
don’t regret what I said. And I mean it.” He shrugged. “I want . .
.” I put my hands over my ears and hummed loudly, drowning the
words that he was forming. He grasped my wrists and gently pulled
them down. “Okay. Too soon. I get it, but you could at least take
the car and drive yourself home to get more clothes and come back
here to stay. You can also wash those clothes here. You know I have
a washer and dryer.”