Rebel Soul: (Rebel Series Book 1) ((Rebel Series)) (20 page)

It was the oddest goddamn thing. I’d never felt the urge to get to know someone like this before, to want to know how their mind ticked and what their deepest desires were. I craved her mind, body and soul.

Today, we both had the day off and it was assumed that we’d be spending it together. Her lips met mine and I kissed her deeply, conveying all of the emotion I felt for her in that kiss. She practically melted in my arms.

“I need you,” she whispered breathlessly, trying to push me back towards the trailer. I followed her lead, hoisting her up effortlessly in my arms and carrying her the remainder of the way. I couldn’t wait for the cabin to be finished, to have more secure places to take her on and more space.

Tessa didn’t seem to care, though. She ripped off my shirt and tackled my zipper with fervor. I peeled her tank top and her tight shorts off of her, throwing them over my shoulder.

I teased her to the point of frustration, almost laughing at the impatient set of her lips before I finally slid a condom on and positioned myself over top of her. Her amber eyes swirled with desire and she bit her plump lower lip lightly with her teeth, knowing what was to come. I drove home, diving into her like she was made for me and God, it felt like she was. Every time I entered her, I had to pause and collect myself. She fit around me like she’d been sculpted to do just that. It was enough to drive even the most controlled man completely wild.

Afterwards, we lay in my bed in a breathless, sweaty heap of tangled arms and legs. Tessa let out a deep sigh of contentment, a satisfied smile playing on her swollen lips. I couldn’t even find the energy to talk. We fell asleep that way, snoozing on and off for an hour until the sound of an engine coming up the long driveway and Hunter’s alarmed bark woke us.

Startled, I practically jumped out of bed, shoving my legs into jeans. My heart was pounding from the adrenaline of the sudden jarring wake up. Tessa was sitting up in bed, frantically peering around for her clothes. I opened the trailer door, letting Hunter escape before me as Gordon’s black truck pulled to a stop behind Tessa’s.

The look of utter and complete rage and disbelief on his face as he climbed out of the cab made my stomach feel sick. “Gordon –” I started, my voice carrying warning.

“You know, I didn’t want to believe it.” He spoke calmly, cutting me off. His voice was dangerous and he wore a formidable smile on his face. He was almost laughing, but not with humor. His hazel eyes were dark with anger. “Guess I really shouldn’t be surprised, huh?” he growled, his fists tensing at his sides.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I argued, frowning deeply.

“Well, fucktard. It looks like you’re screwing my sister, you no good piece of shit,” Gordon scathed, stepping menacingly toward me. I held my ground, my own hands clenching into fists so tightly that they cracked with the strain.

“I’m not just screwing her, Gordon. I’m
with
her,” I said, my voice thick with tension. I wouldn’t back down. I hadn’t backed down ever before, and I wasn’t about to start with Gordon Armstrong.

“Call it what you fucking will. You broke a promise. I told you to stay away from her,” he replied narrowly.

“We made that promise when we were kids, Gordon!” I shot back, my voice rising a little with anger. “I’m not the same person I was back then.”

“Tessa! Get the fuck out here now!” he roared, ignoring me and looking past me to the trailer.

The trailer door slammed open and Tessa stomped outside, pulling her hair out from under her tank top. Her eyes flashed dangerously. “You have no fucking right,” she snarled at him.

“Tessa, you don’t understand. You’re a child, you –”

“I am
not
a fucking child, Gordon!” she yelled, brushing past me and shoving her finger into her brother’s chest. “I’m going to college in the fall and I am more than capable of making my own decisions.”

“You’re eighteen!” he exploded, spit flying out of his mouth with rage. “You don’t know what’s good for you and if you did, you wouldn’t be wasting your time on this ex-convict!”

“How can you say that?” she asked, her voice so low it was almost a whisper. “He’s your friend.”

“
Was
my friend,” Gordon corrected, glaring at me. “Years ago. He’s dangerous, Tess. Let’s go home, I won’t mention this to Dad – “

“I am not going home,” Tessa said firmly, crossing her arms while staring him down. “You are in the wrong here. Brock isn’t dangerous, and you need to pull your head out of your ass. When are you going to realize you can’t control me? None of you do! I’m my own person, Gordon.”

“It’s not about control,” Gordon argued, his eyes flashing.

“Save it,” Tessa responded coldly. “I’ll see you later, when I decide I’m ready to go home, not when
you
decide.”

The entire time this exchange was happening, Hunter was poised at my feet, staring at Gordon with an unnerving stillness. When Gordon went to grab Tessa’s arm, Hunter let out a low, threatening growl to warn him. He finally took notice of the huge dog staring him down. His eyes narrowed at me as if he took it as a personal threat.

Tessa heard too. She turned around, tossing a smug smile at her brother. “He won’t attack you unless he feels that you’re putting Brock, or me, in danger. Grabbing me and dragging me into your truck against my will would definitely get him to attack you, so I’d rethink that plan of yours and head on home. See you later,” she told him while he stared at her in disbelief.

“This is a fucking joke,” Gordon growled, stomping back to his truck. “Don’t think for a moment that this is over, Brock,” he added before slamming the door. We watched as he peeled out of my driveway, gunning it towards the road.

When the sound of his truck had disappeared, Tessa’s shoulders fell. “I’m sorry about that, Brock.” She sighed, biting her lip as her eyes met mine. She looked hopeless, at a loss for what to do. Her gaze flitted back to the driveway and I knew she was thinking about leaving.

“Hey,” I said gently, stepping toward her. I framed her face with my hands, brushing her messy hair away. I looked into her eyes, giving her a small smile as my heart stuttered in my chest. I cared about this girl, a lot. I cared about her so much that the thought of having her family talk sense into her, of having her see me the way that everyone else in this town saw me, completely gutted me. I realized, as I looked into her beautiful amber eyes, that I was terrified of losing her. “Whatever happens, Tess, this means a lot to me.
You
mean a lot to me.” I kissed her quickly, passionately, as if it was our last kiss and there was a time limit. “God, Tessa, I think I’m falling in love with you,” I told her, pressing her forehead to mine.

She smiled, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “I think I’m falling in love with you too,” she whispered, her eyes meeting mine with open vulnerability. My lips crashed against hers again, her words unleashing raw need in me. A need to possess her, to consume her so I was all she could think about until she was absolutely positive she was in love with me, because I’d lied to her.

I
knew
I was already in love with her and had known it the moment she’d been in danger, the moment I’d gotten close enough to her to feel that burning chemistry between us. It linked me to her, tethered me to her, but I’d been too afraid to voice my thoughts.

Tessa

The screen door clanged opened as I raced inside. My cheeks were flushed from anger and from Brock’s confession and the way he’d looked at me when he had told me that he thought he was falling in love with me. I wanted to stay there with him and forget about everything, all of my problems and the shit-storm that was waiting for me back home.

And the shit-storm was definitely waiting for me, in the form of all three of my brothers and my very angry father, as they gathered around the huge oak table in the kitchen. My dad sat at the head of the table, fixing me with a piercing stare that made me feel as if all my sins were etched clear as day on my face.

It was obvious by the formidable look of disappointment in his eyes and the family intervention, for that matter… that he knew about me and Brock and he wasn’t happy about it.

Gordon sat in his usual place at the table, completely avoiding my eyes. Tommy sat beside him, and even Benjamin was there.

“Seriously?” I narrowed my eyes, my blood roaring with anger.

“Seriously,” my father agreed darkly, standing up. He towered over me, and I knew he was using his size to intimidate me. It had, after all, worked a billion times before when I was in trouble.

It wouldn’t work now. My mind was made up and I wasn’t going to let my family attempt to change it by bullying me into “seeing reason”, which actually really wasn’t reason at all.

“I thought I told you to stay away from that Miller boy.” He frowned at me as if I’d truly broken his heart by disobeying his order.

“And I thought I told you that I was capable of making my own decisions,” I responded, straightening my spine and matching my father’s angry look with one of my own.

“He’s dangerous, Tessa,” Gordon interjected, standing up too. His eyes pleaded with me.

“How can you even sit there and say that?” I demanded, shaking my head with disgust. “He’s no more dangerous than any of you are. You have no right to act all superior, Gordon. You either, Tommy. You act like a bunch of brainless cavemen!”

“What are you talking about?” Gordon demanded.

“Oh, let’s see here,” I said, pretending to think about it. “Corbin, Ezra, to name a few.”

“That’s nowhere near the same thing!” he argued back.

“YES IT IS!” I bellowed. “Do you even know what actually happened that night that he was arrested?” I demanded, stomping towards Gordon and getting in his face.

“He lost his shit on some guy.” My brother shrugged, his eyes narrowing at me. “The reason doesn’t matter. He’s got a criminal record, Tessa.”

“The reason
does
matter!” I laughed darkly, rolling my eyes with exasperation. “Brock was defending his sister, something you’re probably telling yourself you’re doing right now. Something you
have
done, only Brock had every right to rearrange that asshole’s face. He beat Becky so badly, she ended up in the hospital and she almost lost her baby because of it! You, on the other hand, have no right to scare off any and every guy that’s ever come within five feet of me.”

Silence followed my angry outburst as my family absorbed my words. My father’s brow creased. “Even if that’s true, Tessa…he’s still
six years
older than you,” he said diplomatically. “What business does he have being with you?” he added, looking me straight in the eyes. It was as if he thought Brock was interested in
one thing
and
one thing
only.

But they didn’t know Brock, and they didn’t know who I was when I was with him. They didn’t know who we were together. They didn’t know how he made me feel: safe, cherished, desired, protected and yet equal. They didn’t see the looks he stole when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. They didn’t see the way he’d come to my rescue, the way he hadn’t judged me or made me feel stupid about it. They just saw an ex-convict, a guy that wasn’t and would never be worthy in their eyes.

I arched a brow defiantly. “Really? You’re going to play the age card on me?” I asked, gesturing to Ben. “Ben’s four years older than Katie, but that’s okay because it’s Ben. You were older than Mom, but that’s okay because it’s you. Age only seems to matter when it involves
me
.”

“That’s not true,” Dad argued, his brow furrowing even more.

Ben cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself. We all turned to look at him, our eyes flashing dangerously. “It is true,” he said, nodding at me. His eyes were full of apology. Out of everyone in the room, Ben seemed to be the
only
one willing to hear me out, the only one
not
judging me or making assumptions. “We’ve always been overprotective of Tessa, almost to a fault. It’s because she’s the youngest, the only girl. We’ve all felt a need to shelter her from everything.”

“Bullshit,” Tommy argued, siding with Gordon and my dad.

“Any time we’ve ever interfered was when it was needed,” Gordon remarked, scowling.

“So I guess Corbin deserved a broken nose for dancing with me and I guess Ezra deserved a black eye for…taking me to the movies,” I amended, my face turning red underneath my dad’s never wavering gaze.

“Technically, I didn’t mean to break his nose,” Tommy corrected, his eyes almost sparkling with humor. “He moved at the last minute, so that’s on him. He was talking shit though, and it was about more than that. He was doing it to get underneath my skin. And Ezra deserved a black eye because you don’t disrespect someone we care about like that.”

“None of those guys were worthy of you, Tess. And neither is Brock Miller,” Gordon added with disgust.

“You really ought to be ashamed of yourself,” I told him, my eyes narrowing as an angry tear escaped down my cheeks. “For someone who claims to once have been his friend, you really never knew him at all.”

I turned on my heel, storming up to my bedroom. I packed my overnight bag quickly, more angry tears escaping down my cheeks. Ten minutes later, I was packed. I fired out a text message before I flew down the stairs, my eyes on the front door.

“Where are you going?” Dad asked. Usually, I’d stop to address my father properly. I was raised to give my full attention to someone who was speaking to me, but today I couldn’t care less about being respectful of my elders. I was severely disappointed and hurt by my family’s actions.

“I’m going to Elle’s,” I responded, not even bothering to look over my shoulder to see if that was okay. I didn’t care if it was okay or not; I was sick of this testosterone-filled, hell-hole. At least at Elle’s house, I’d be surrounded by rational thinking women, women who supported me and could understand where I was coming from.

“Let her go,” I heard Ben say as the screen door slammed shut behind me. I ran out to my truck, wiping the moisture from my eyes with the back of my hand before I pulled open the door.

It didn’t take me long to rip up Elle’s driveway. She was waiting for me on her front porch, alerted of my arrival from the frantic text I’d sent her. She watched me approach with a sad and wary look on her face and when I got close enough, she opened her arms and hugged me silently, letting me cry into her shoulder.

“Tessa.” Sue Thompson’s smoky voice was gentle. I looked up at my best friend’s mom. Her kind eyes were full of moisture at the sight of my tears. Elle stood back, letting me go to her mom. Sue’s arms wrapped around me protectively, and she ran a hand through my hair to provide comfort. “It’s alright honey. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” I hiccupped. I couldn’t even form words to express what I was feeling. This was about
more
than Brock, more than me falling for someone my family dubbed as “not good enough”. I was angry, hurt and fed up. The hypocrisy within the walls of the Armstrong house was outrageous.

“Come inside,” Sue urged, as she and Elle gently guided me into the Thompson’s worn kitchen. Elle sat down at the table beside me, rubbing my back in circular motions while I tried to pull myself back together.

I’d never fought with my family like that. I had disagreed with them and stomped my feet in anger, sure. I’d even slammed my fair share of doors in my dad’s and my brothers’ faces. Somehow, they always got the last word. Somehow, they always got their way, because I usually backed down.

But this fight…this fight was different. For starters, I hadn’t backed down, not even in the slightest. This fight was prominent. It came from years of being treated like a child, years of having my brothers and my father meddling in my business to the point where I felt like I couldn’t even make a single decision myself without first seeking approval.

While I was lost in my thoughts, Sue had made three cups of hot chocolate. She placed two steaming mugs, overflowing with marshmallows, down on the table in front of Elle and me. She carried hers to the other side of the table and sat down, taking a slow sip while her brown eyes studied me.

“I’ve been warning your daddy for years now.” She sighed, shaking her head regretfully.

“Warning him about what?” I asked, raising my eyes from my mug to meet hers.

“That he needs to let you grow up a little. He needs to let you do the things that you desire doing. I thought I’d reached him when we talked about the whole college thing –“

“Wait…what college thing?” I interrupted.

“He didn’t want you to go so far away. He didn’t like the idea of you not having your brothers around. You knew that, though,” Sue answered patiently, smiling. “Hell, if there was a decent school locally that would allow you a proper education in that field, I’m sure he would have insisted on that.”

I exhaled, knowing she was right. He would have. Sue fell silent, lost in her own thoughts.

“Some fathers are just never ready for their daughters to grow up.” She finally looked back at me and said, “He’ll come around though.”

“I don’t think so.” I frowned. “I really let him down. You should have seen the look of disappointment on his face. All because he found out I was
hanging out
with Brock Miller. He doesn’t even know that I…” I clamped my mouth shut tightly.

“That you what?” Elle pressed, gently nudging me.

“No need to make the girl say it,” Sue scolded her daughter, a slight frown on her face. Then she turned her head and gave me a small smile.

“It doesn’t matter. Dad will never let me be with him and neither will my brothers.” I sighed sadly.

“They’re angry now and they’ll probably be angry for a bit,” Sue cautioned me. “But they’ll come to see reason soon enough.”

“What makes you so confident?” I sniffled.

“You’re a grown woman now, Tessa.” Sue smiled at me wisely. “They’ll end up accepting whoever you love simply because you love them.”

* * *

A few hours later, I sat on Elle’s porch swing with a large blanket wrapped around the two of us. We were looking up at the stars as they shone brightly in the night sky. It was something we’d been doing together since before either of us could remember. Our sleepovers always included stargazing and daydreaming.

Tonight, Elle was oddly silent. I almost expected her to attack me the moment her mother let us be, but she didn’t. She was content to sit there quietly.

“You know,” she said, finally breaking her silence, “I’m glad you’re letting yourself fall for him. Even if your family are all being jerks about it.” She nudged me with her shoulder and gave me a small smile. “Mom’s right, they’ll get over it.”

“Maybe.” I sighed heavily, lifting my chin and resting my head against the back of the swing. “It’s just…not how I wanted this summer to go. I definitely didn’t want to end it on this note. I don’t like fighting with my family.”

“I know,” she whispered. “Nobody likes fighting with their family.”

“You and your mom
never
fight,” I pointed out, concerned by the ominous edge to Elle’s tone.

“Oh, it’s not us fighting…” she trailed off, biting her lip. She was keeping something from me. I could tell by the way she avoided meeting my eyes.

“What is it, Elle?”

She finally brought her eyes to mine and I startled to see the pain reflecting in their dark depths. “Things aren’t going so good between Braden and me right now.”