Rebel Cowboy (22 page)

Where he had to skate away from his fear of dependence and feelings to deal, Mel had had to push through. She’d had to bury it all, and in doing that, she’d turned strength and determination into its own kind of escape.

He wouldn’t fall for it anymore. He wouldn’t leave unless he knew it was what she truly wanted, not just what she thought she had to want.

“Dan.”

“If it helps, we’re more than colleagues,” he said to Summer.

“Dan.” She grasped his arm, not kindly. It actually kind of hurt, not that he’d ever admit it. She steered him a few paces away from a confused Summer, a mutinous Caleb.

“Go.”

“No.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because you need someone here who has your back. Even if this didn’t involve your brother or father, I know it wouldn’t be them. So it’s going to be me.”

She released him, pressing fingers to her eyes. “Please, don’t…I can’t…figure this out while I’m trying to figure you out.”

“Look, fuck the colleague bullshit, we can deal with that later. I’m not asking you to figure me out. I’m standing behind you. Period.”

“I don’t…” Her hands dropped, clenched and unclenched. She looked at him, trying so desperately, he was sure, to hide the fear swirling in her eyes. She failed. “I don’t know what to do with that,” she said through gritted teeth, dropping her gaze to the ground.

“We can figure it out, honey. I’m not going anywhere.” Not any damn where until he knew she would be okay. Hell, maybe not even then.

I’m not going anywhere.

Mel supposed it was meant to be comforting and supportive. It felt like a threat, however, him being there, seeing this, seeing her all…vulnerable.

Hadn’t they had enough of this? Of him
being
there
? What was she supposed to do with all this support? How was she supposed to focus on what needed to be focused on when someone was supporting her?

That weakened everything. Swept away all the strength and conviction and left only shaky, untrustworthy emotion.

Damn.

So she had to ignore it. Had to push him and his steadfast support somewhere else and focus. She turned back to the woman. God, she was barely a woman. She looked like a girl. She looked like
her
as a girl, if she’d ever deigned to play dress up.

She had no idea what to do with this woman. She still wasn’t convinced she was Dad’s, especially since it was so obvious she was Mom’s. Mom could have sent her here. Mom could have…

Dan’s hand pressed against the small of her back. Part of her wanted to shake it off, but in this moment, there was a bigger part that wanted to use that as something to hold her up, to keep her going forward. Someone else’s warm hand and strong muscle to lean against while she did what she had to do.

“I’m a surprise. I get that,” Summer said, looking at her caravan. “Believe me. But…I just wanted to find my family and see…”

“See what?” Mel asked in unison with Caleb, almost feeling sorry for the girl when she flinched.

“I don’t know how to explain it. I only wanted to get away. I know you don’t owe me anything. I’m not looking for anything.” Again she looked at her bizarre vehicle. “Maybe a place to park for a few days, if you’re going to send me away. And I’d like to meet…him, first.”

“Where’s our mother?” She didn’t even want to know the answer to the question, but it felt necessary to ask.

Summer’s expression was all conflicted pain, and Mel had to look away. This girl needed help and Mel didn’t have it in her to help anyone else. Especially a twenty-one-year-old girl searching for some fairy-tale family.

They certainly weren’t it.

“As far as I know, she’s in California. She doesn’t know I’m here. We left on…not great terms.”

“Join the club,” Caleb muttered.

“You can park on our property as long as you need,” Mel said. She wasn’t going to turn the girl away, but she did want this over. “As far as…our father…” She took a deep breath and focused on Dan’s hand on her back, on the fact that he somehow still thought her strong and capable. “He was injured five years ago, and neither his physical nor emotional health are great. I’m not sure seeing you would be good for him.”

Summer’s shoulders slumped. Her voice was barely audible. “I see.”

“He doesn’t know about you.”

Summer’s gaze met hers, hazel eyes that felt like looking into some bizarre, warped mirror. Her not her. All the times she’d looked in a mirror and wondered what was so wrong with her, what drove everyone away.

“He doesn’t,” Mel reiterated. Because Dad couldn’t possibly know about her and have never told them. Known about her and let her go. Known about her and…no. It wasn’t possible.

“Mom claimed he did. That you all did.” Her gaze dropped to the ground. “And were very clear you wanted nothing to do with me. With us.”

Something in Mel’s heart twisted. It wasn’t just pity for this poor girl, it was something more like commiseration. “We had no idea, not one, that we had another sibling.”

The girl blinked and, oh shit, a few tears fell on her pale cheeks. How could they look so much alike and yet look so different? It was like some sort of feminine, delicate, gauzy filter over herself, and it was fucking freaky.

Summer cleared her throat. “Sorry, it’s been…a long few weeks, but yeah, I think I believe it was a surprise for you guys. Mom hasn’t always been…honest. I knew I was dropping a bomb. I just… I guess I wanted to find my family, to see if it would be…”

She never finished her sentence. She used her fingers to wipe away tears, the bangles all over her arms tinkling in the quiet of the moment.

She pushed back all the loose strands of hair—the same color, probably even the same average texture, but somehow looking wavy and shiny and perfect on this…person.

Your sister.

Something in her chest kicked at that. There was no denying it. Sure, when she looked at Caleb there were pieces of herself if she looked hard enough. The sharp slant of their nose—though his was slightly crooked from having it broken a time or two—the way their eyes both crinkled into slits when they smiled in pictures.

But in most areas, Caleb had taken after Dad, blond and blue-eyed and sharp, and she had been her mother’s. Except not at all. She was a Shaw. Looks be damned.

This poor girl with their last name and the mother they barely remembered and a father she’d never met. A
family
. A history, a place she’d never known.

All the things Mel had been running away from over the past week. It was the kind of reminder that thickened her blood with guilt, even knowing that Caleb and Dad had deserved it. Even knowing it had felt necessary to get out before she crushed to dust under it.

But that looked to be over now. This was not something she could run away from, this lost girl.

Your sister.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to truly accept that. Even if she couldn’t dispute it, she couldn’t just throw her arms around Summer Shaw and welcome her.

“Caleb, why don’t you take her down to the old cabin? The clearing next to it will be a good place to park…that.” She gestured at the strange vehicle. “Though if you don’t mind mice, you’re welcome to stay in the cabin.”

“The caravan is fine. It’s been my home for a while now.”

Mel nodded. Perhaps she should treat this as more than a business interaction, but she didn’t know how, and it wasn’t as if Caleb was saying anything.

“Do you need anything?” Mel asked.

Summer swallowed. “If you know of any places I might be able to get some work? I’ve done just about everything—singing and waitressing and answering phones. Before I left Sacramento, I was making and selling jewelry at local fairs and markets and doing pretty okay.”

Making jewelry. Singing. Yeah, this girl did not belong at Shaw.

“Have you ever been like a nurse? Not a registered one or anything, just someone who helps—” Caleb began.

Mel stopped him. “Caleb, no.” They couldn’t bring her into that, even if Dad did know about her or wouldn’t figure some kind of connection based on her looks. “I’ll take you down. Do you have plumbing in that thing?”

“Oh. No.”

“We’ll turn the water back on in the cabin. If you want to sleep in your…thing, that’s fine, but you’ll have somewhere to shower and take care of things.”

“That’s really amazing. I’m so grateful. I—”

Mel held up a hand to stop the tide of gratitude. It made her feel… She didn’t know. Some constricting in her chest and a prick of heat behind her eyes. Uncomfortable.

“Let’s get you settled,” she said roughly. Before Summer could say anything else, Mel looked pointedly at Dan. “You coming?”

“I’ll wait here.” He smiled, of all damn things. She glanced at Caleb. Oh, hell. Well, she didn’t have time for that. If they wanted to have some idiot macho pissing match, so be it.

“Follow me.” She had to force the next syllables out of her mouth. But she was pretty sure this girl deserved something, needed something, and Mel had a bad feeling she knew exactly what it was. Something she really didn’t want to give.

Kindness. Welcome. Family.

But knowing how much those things could mean, she had to force the word out. “Summer.” Sister. Her sister.

Yeah, she had no idea what to do with that.

* * *

Dan probably should have gone with Mel, but despite his determination to stand behind her and help her, he was also sure she needed a few minutes of silence to herself. To wrap her brain around what happened.

And, sure, he had a few things to say to Caleb, which were maybe none of his business, but he couldn’t get past the idea that Mel needed someone willing to say something—say out loud that things here were not right. He couldn’t imagine convincing her she didn’t need to power through it, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t tell Caleb to get his shit together.

“So it doesn’t bug you to pay my sister to have sex with you when she’s desperate?” Caleb asked.

Dan didn’t move from where he was leaning against the garage. He didn’t move, period. Because if he didn’t take a few minutes to breathe through the white-hot fury, he’d punch Caleb straight in the mouth.

Mel wouldn’t want him to do that, and he was already doing something she wouldn’t want him to do. So he took a few breaths and then mustered his best fuck-you smile. “Doesn’t it bug you to be so completely useless she breaks under the pressure of carrying your worthless ass?”

Something flickered in Caleb’s gaze, dark and violent, and Dan hoped to hell it was some kind of feeling for Mel. Because if he at least cared, there was hope.

He wanted Mel to have hope. “I care about your sister.”

Caleb snorted. “Why the hell wouldn’t you? I’d bet everything I have that she’s ten times the woman than anyone you’ve ever come into contact with in Chicago. But care doesn’t mean shit—you know why?”

“Enlighten me.”

“Take a look at those mountains, this house, that fucking truck she’s driving. They all belong here. Born here, made here, ground to fucking dust here. Tough. But, more, they’ve all got nowhere else to go. You’ve got somewhere to go.”

“I see you’re an expert on me. I had no idea you’d done so much research.”

“I know exactly who you are. Rich and spoiled, and you don’t give two shits about anything, or you wouldn’t be under suspicion of being a cheating asshole. Maybe you’d stay for a while because it’s new and different and you can throw money at any problem you’ve got. Build a life with
my
sister. Have a kid you barely pay attention to because she’s not the image of the perfect baby girl who was in your head, another kid you sneer at like he’s a bad seed because…well, hell, maybe he is. Then another you leave with that no one ever knows about.”

“I think I have certain anatomy that would make that a kind of impossible.”

“This a joke to you?”

“I’m not your mother. And I’m not responsible for your mommy issues.” He pushed off the garage, and though he hadn’t been in a brawl in a few years, he relished the thought of one.

But he wouldn’t, mainly because he had a feeling that’s exactly what Caleb was looking for. Reason for a good fight. Well, he wouldn’t be the joker who fell for that shit, especially when Mel wouldn’t appreciate it. No matter how angry she might be at her brother, no matter what little Dan knew about sibling dynamics, he doubted he’d be hailed a hero if he bloodied Caleb’s big mouth.

“Maybe the reason people leave is because you all go around acting like you’re so tough and have it under control when it’s obvious to the whole world you don’t,” Dan said.

“Maybe no one’s strong enough to stick.”

“Guess we’ll see.”

“You think I’ll let you hurt her?”

“You’ve done a bang-up job on your own. Don’t know why you’d care what anyone else does.”

“She deserves better than you.”

“Right back at you.”

“This isn’t about me. She’s stuck with me. You’re expendable. You should expend yourself away from this place.”

“You’re an asshole who could do better for your entire family, but you don’t see me giving you any unwanted advice.”

Caleb shoved hands through hair that looked shaggy and unruly, much like he did as a whole. Dan didn’t remember him looking that way when he’d first met him. Sure, a little shaky, but not like a man beyond the edge of what he could handle.

He almost,
almost
felt sympathy for the guy. Caleb was almost a decade younger and had a hell of a lot more on his plate than Dan had ever imagined facing.

“I care very deeply about your sister.” Very very deeply. A million verys. Or maybe just the
L
word he was still trying to decide if he could handle. If he could handle, survive, succeed at loving someone so bound and determined to shut him out. “I don’t have any beef with you other than she’s mad at you, so I’m mad by association. But whether you believe me or not, whether
she
believes me or not, I’m not going anywhere. Not permanently.”

Caleb looked hard at where Mel’s truck reappeared on the gravel drive. “That better be a promise you’re ready to keep…asshole.”

Though he muttered the insult, Dan both heard it and wasn’t affected by it. If anything, he felt at least moderately better Caleb cared, no matter how poorly he showed it.

When Mel stepped out of the truck, he stepped toward her, because she looked like she needed it. At the same time, Caleb stepped back, as if he couldn’t handle the utter confusion and hurt written all over Mel’s face.

He wanted to call Caleb an asshole, but he’d been in Caleb’s shoes before too. So, instead, he offered Mel what he could. Maybe he could be some kind of an example.

Who would have thought?

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“She’s settled. For now.” Mel rubbed her temples. “You need to get back.” Before he could argue, she pressed on. “Herd of llamas. Friday morning. You need to head back and finish that to-do list. You can…” She trailed off and looked at Caleb, at the way he was all but shrinking into the porch. “You can pick me up at seven. I’ll be ready to go home with you then.”

Go home. With you
. She’d probably never know what those words meant, but someday when they had a moment alone without all their issues crowding together, he’d tell her. And maybe tell her other things too.

“Please don’t argue.”

He shook his head and held up his hands. “Not making your life harder, remember?” He leaned in and brushed a kiss over her mouth, ignoring the way she didn’t reciprocate. Mel had bigger fish to fry at the moment, and hopefully she’d fry Caleb into some action. “I’ll be back at seven.”