Real Vampires Don't Diet (29 page)

Bad luck? Aggie gave me another shot to the left temple.

Flo laughed and hugged her brother when he agreed to fly to New York with her and take his Platinum Card with him. Ray and I reached for each other. We were doomed.

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"Florence, darling, Glory needs for you to explain. Look at her face. Look at Ray's." Richard risked his beloved's ire by snatching her magazine.

Flo said one more word in Italian that made both Damian and Richard raise their eyebrows, then she turned and really checked me out.

"Glory! I'm sorry. The wedding. It's all I think about. You are thinking about hell of course."

"Of course." I sank down on the couch, Ray right beside me. "I can practically feel the flames. We needed Casanova."

"And you shall have him." Damian leaned against the door. From his dark hair cut expertly to look like he'd just run his fingers through it, to his leather loafers, Italian of course, on his narrow feet, he was the picture of elegant male. If he wasn't Casanova, he was a heck of an imitation.

"How?" I glanced-at Ray. "We can't foist a fake on Circe. Aggie probably has to report stuff like that to the goddess."

"You got that right, vampy. No Casanova, no deal. Nice to hear you finally get it."
I shook my head. "She's talking to me right now. What can we do?"

"The real Casanova is here in Austin." Damian stepped away from the door. "Alberto and I have been rivals for centuries. It amuses me to take his name from time to time. Because it makes him crazy. When he heard I was doing it again here, he flew in to confront me. Women would pay to see that fight, eh, Florence." He laughed when Flo punched him in the arm.

"You are both too handsome for your own
good, fratello.
But Alberto is a pig." She kissed her brother on the cheek. "You never would treat a woman as he does. I should know; Berto and I were lovers once." We all jumped when Richard snarled.

"Calm yourself,
amante.
It was long ago. My name was Analisa then. So you see it cannot concern you." Flo pushed Richard into a chair then plopped herself onto his lap. She stroked his cheek and whispered in his ear. The rest of us exchanged glances, trying to understand Flo's logic, though my experience told me it was a waste of time.

"Bertie makes women fall in love with him, seduces them, then drops them most painfully. He likes to see women publicly humiliated." Flo leaned her head on Richard's shoulder. "I tell you this so you understand why I'm glad we send the
bastardo
to hell."

"What? Maybe you shouldn't tell us anything else, Flo." I know I had some bad breakups in my past I'd never trot out for public consumption.

"No, is time." Flo took a watery breath, her handkerchief wadded in her fist. "He made me think I was his only lover. Then he came to a party at my villa with another woman! He hoped I would cry, beg, you see, for him to send her away."

"He didn't know you very well, did he, my love?" Richard held her close. "Does he wear your initials carved on his ass?" Flo giggled. "He would if he didn't heal in his sleep."

"He's still in town?" Ray was obviously all about the, pardon the expression, bottom line. Truth be told, so was I right now. "You think we can
get
him out to the lake?"

"Si, if you dangle the right bait. I tell him you have beautiful women there. Gloriana." Damian bowed toward me. "Perhaps Florence can loan you a wig,
cara."

"Tell him Sienna Stars out there too. She's hot and a famous rock star."
Valdez planted himself next to my knee.
"And
Glory's hair is fine, Sabatini."

"Two beautiful women. Yes, that should do it."

I touched Valdez's shoulder. "Thanks for the kind words, but tumbleweeds have more style than my hair right now." I turned to Flo. "This Casanova guy's really handsome?"

"Oh, yes." Flo leaned forward. "And, Glory, he has an enormous, um, you know."

"Really!" I know my eyes were wide.

"I thought women didn't care about stuff like that." Ray gave me an elbow.

"We don't." Flo and I grinned when that came out like a duet.

Flo patted Richard's cheek. "As I said to my dear Leonardo more than once. It's not the size of the paint brush, it's the skill of the artist, no?"

"She's never had to say that to me." Richard grinned at the other guys.

"Can we get back on track here? Casanova. Great. We still need two more hot vampires. I'm hoping for Simon, but who else can we send to hell with a clear conscience?"

"I have others in mind." Damian managed to sit on the couch on my other side. It was a tight fit and made Ray and Valdez both give him warning looks that he ignored. "You know, Gloriana, I would be devastated if you were treated so unfairly by this Siren." He ran a finger down my cheek.

"This guy has one smooth line. Wish I could see him. Sounds like Circe material."
Aggie's voice rasped inside my head.

"Careful, Damian, now you've got Aggie interested in you. Don't think you want to be on our short list." I grabbed his hand, which was headed for my left ear. "But I appreciate the sentiment. Who are you thinking about? Anyone I know?" He pulled my hand to his lips for a brief kiss before I eased it away from him. "Fortunately not. Florence, what do you think about Maurice?"

"That murdering butcher?
He's
in Austin?" She grabbed Richard's hand when Damian nodded. "Yes, he must go."

"He and his sidekick arrived last week. Maury's been here trying to get into the Energy Vampires. Simon Destiny won't meet with him. What does that tell you?" Damian put his arm around my shoulders. "Florence, would you say they are handsome?"

"Yes, as the Devil must be." Flo shuddered. "They both are perfect for hell, Glory."

"I guess so, but I still want Simon to go too. He can fake handsome, especially if he sees Sienna at Ray's." Aggie didn't poke me, so I guess she wasn't a stickler on that point.

"If Simon doesn't work out, Glory, this sidekick sounds like a good backup. Simon could be the bait to get him out to the house. For that meeting this killer wants." Ray obviously wasn't as gung ho about the "Send Simon South" plan as I was.

"I don't like how this whole party thing is shaping up. It's a security nightmare. You're inviting a sexual predator, a
serial killer and his sidekick, whatever the hell that means, and the freakin' King of the Energy Vampires."
Valdez was up and pacing my tiny living room.
"I'm not sure Brittany and I can guarantee your safety."

"No worries." Damian's arm tightened around me when Valdez got really close and showed teeth. "I mean, I have help for you. I've formed a council. To take care of vampires who disturb the peace here in Austin." He leaned around me and looked at Ray, who was already throwing visual daggers his way. "Like that crazy woman who turned you vampire, Caine. Never should have happened. My council would have run Lucky out of town before she'd ever have had a chance to pull a stunt like that."

"Sounds good, Damian. Who are these guys?" I decided to get off the couch. Too much testosterone. I'd already been the victim of that once tonight.

"Vampires with lots of power and"he smiled at his sister"handsome, of course. Florence helped me select them."

"Of course. Richard, you might like them to be groomsmen at our wedding. And they will be wonderful help if fights break out."

"The council can handle anything." Damian got up and walked to the door. "I'll be working on Casanova and Maury." He turned and smiled. "The dog is right. This will be quite a party. If Circe doesn't take out these bastards, then my council will. Austin will be a safer place after that."

"If we live to see it." Had I said that? Oops. Guess my optimism had really run out this time.

"You have any idea how much I dread this?" I threw an extra scarf into my suitcase, though a session with a deep conditioner had given my hair some of its shine back.

"You're the one who said we have to go." Ray had been watching me pack.

"You're right. Besides, Simon would be stupid to suck the energy out of a famous rock star's fiancee." I smiled down at the rock on the third finger of my left hand. "Unless you decide to dump me this weekend."

"Not a chance." Ray grabbed my hand. "I should have let you pick this out. Flo says the diamond's too little."

"Flo thinks the Hope Diamond's too little. It's beautiful, but I hope this is a CZ." I looked down at the five carat twinkler. An engagement ring. I'd never had one before. Oh, Jerry had offered. Even bought me a few. I wore the ring he'd given me that I'd actually accepted, a beautiful sapphire, on my right hand.

What the hell was I going to do when Jerry came back to town? Which would be soon. I'd been a complete wimp and let his calls go to voice mail all week. No way could I explain all of this over the phone. The phony engagement. The Siren. The trip to the EV compound. Which he would absolutely forbid if he knew about it. He'd probably be home by Monday. After this weekend.

"Earth to Glory. Would you quit worrying about Blade?" Ray stood behind me and massaged my shoulders. "I'd never buy any woman a fake diamond. It's the real deal. Just like you are. You want to call off this EV thing? I can feel your nerves wound tight."

"We've got to go through with it. You're right. As long as Simon's convinced you and I are together, then I'll be okay." I leaned into Ray's hands on my neck and finally relaxed a little.

"All right then. Finish packing. Where's your bathing suit? Toss it in there. I don't see a sexy nightie, either, but I like you better without anything at all anyway."

I ignored the flirting and slipped out of his arms. "Ray, you still don't really get how old I am, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jerry turned me vampire in 1604. Now I know you didn't go to college." I had a copy of his unauthorized biography on my bookshelf. "Neither did I. But I bet you have a sense of history. Think. Did women go to the beach back then?"

"No, guess not. But this is the twenty-first century."

"Right. I never see daylight and I hate the water. So why would I own a bathing suit?" Not to mention the fact that my thighs are not something I'd deliberately put on parade.

"I'm sorry, baby." Ray put his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. "I never thought. You've really missed out on a lot of things, haven't you?"

"I don't choose to look at it that way. And I'd advise you to adjust your attitude right now if you really do get to live forever." I eased out of his arms and decided to add a few things to my suitcase. Extra jeansno, make that shorts. Flo had mentioned a beach scene in the sunlight room. With my luck, I'd end up wet again.

I slipped in a black silk nightgown that I'd bought before Christmas. For a night with Jerry. I took a moment to wallow in guilt. Nope, not necessary. Ray and I weren't going to, uh, you know. This was all about saving our butts, and "acting" engaged was part of it. Sleeping in my Snoopy jammies wouldn't cut it. Surely Jerry would understand that. Ray had been watching me stuff my suitcase with interest. "That's better. So tell me what attitude I should have."

"That if we take care of business and get to live past the full moon, you're going to get to see things mere mortals today can only dream of. Colonies on Mars maybe. Who knows what else?"

"Cool. I'd like to see freeways in the sky. You know, aerial snow mobiles. Up and away." Ray laughed and mimicked steering skyward.

"Anything's possible. Think, Ray. I've seen electricity invented. Airplanes fly. Space exploration. Microwaves and cell phones." I grinned at him and slammed my suitcase shut. "Not to mention the wonderful, amazing television and iPod."

"Right. Sixteen hundred till now. Wow, you've seen it all, haven't you, old girl?" A horn honked and Ray lost his smile. "That's our limo."

Richard and Flo appeared in the doorway. "Ready? We're going on down."

"We're right behind you." I zipped my suitcase closed. "Flo, are you all right?" She'd gone from nervous chatter earlier to pale and silent in the last few minutes.

"I'm freaking out, Glory. So I say nothing."

"We'll have to watch what we say out loud all weekend. I'm sure they have surveillance equipment everywhere, even in those sunlight rooms." Richard put his arm around Flo. "I wouldn't advise reading Florence's mind right now. She
is
freaking out and curses like a Venetian sailor chained to his oar."

"Do you blame me,
amante?"
Flo bit her lip. "Simon the snake
will
be spying on us. At least he has to be close to read our minds, not like that Siren of yours, Glory. But there will be video cameras. Glory, you and Ray must act the lovers every minute." Ray put his hands on my shoulders. "Who's acting?"

Ray's playful attitude was hitting on my last nerve. I started to say something snarky but there was no use spreading the angst.

"Let's just be sure to leave there with a commitment from Simon to come out to your house, Ray. Soon. So we all need to keep our eyes and ears open to figure out what would lure him there."

"I could offer him Sienna. She'd make a hell of a vampire."

I was in Ray's face before he could blink. "Never. I mean
never
joke about making someone vampire." I pointed to my bed.

"You remember waking up right there and finding out ?" I took a breath and closed my eyes.

"Glory, I was kidding. Hell, you know I'd never do that, don't you?" Ray pulled me close. He must have sent a message to Richard because Rich and Flo muttered something about seeing us downstairs and left.

"Sorry. I lost my sense of humor when I woke up tonight and realized I was really going out to that EV hellhole." Ray stroked my back. "We should cancel this then think of something else. I don't like seeing you scared like this."

"Yep. I'm scared. But I think Aggie's even more powerful than Simon. So I can put up with a little discomfort for the chance to see that vermin in hell."

"I think it's stronger than discomfort for you, but if you're determined to go through with it, let's
get
it over with." Ray picked up my suitcase, then grabbed his own.