Raven's Breath (The Women of Purgatory) (14 page)

"Got 'em all," she declared.

I nodded and pushed off the ground. "See ya later, Holli."

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Ugh!
I did not want to get into this with her. She could be part of the problem for all we knew, but I was so angry I couldn't hold my tongue.

"I'm upset, Holli. I want to know what Death's been up to, and why all these phenoms are popping up out of the blue." I gestured to the sky. "Something's wrong, and no one around here seems to notice or give two shits that something's up."

Holli lowered her head, her shoulders curling inward. "Sorry, Raven. I don't know what to say. Gathering the phenoms is my only job, that's all I know." Tears started to shine in her eyes.

"Holli, I'm not mad at you. I don't think it's your fault, but whatever is happening isn't normal."

She raised her head, her lips quivering. "I'd offer to ask Death what's going on for you, but I haven't seen him in weeks." She fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands.

I lowered myself back to the ground and crouched in front of her. "Holli, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

She lifted her head, her sad eyes shining in my face. "It's not you. Things were so wonderful when I arrived but now, it's like he's forgot all about me. The only thing I get to do is fly to the portal fields for our gathering missions and return to the castle once I'm done. I'm just so lonely."

"Why don't you come hang out with me for a while? If Death's not around, he shouldn't notice if you're gone."

She wiped away her tears and smiled shyly. "I actually tried to come see you the other day, but when I veered from my usual flight path, I felt a pop and suddenly appeared back in my room." She shrugged. "I guess I truly can't do anything without his permission."

"Wow. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, there's nothing you can do about it."

I was now more determined than ever to prove her wrong.

24

I hovered in the netherworld, poised at St. Mary's––the very hospital I'd worked at when I was alive. I'd only returned here a few times since becoming a Reaper, but every time I did, the emotions rode me hard.

The teenage girl on the gurney was headed into surgery. I'd seen her face in my dream last night, and hoped I'd be able to save her today. Just as Dr. Taylor started to operate I felt a chill in the air. I looked over my shoulder and saw Death emerging from the shadows.

"Hello, Raven."

My muscles tensed. "Sir."

The sudden break in his recent
absence didn't bode well for me. Silence hung in the air as we watched my friend perform his skillful work.

"This is where I first laid eyes on you. Did you know that?"

"No, Sir. I didn't."

"This hospital had just experienced a large influx of patients after a bus accident. I'd been watching my Reapers work the scene through my gazing pool when you entered the room."

Crazy
. I had never given much thought as to how or why Death had chosen me all those years ago.

"Why did you choose me? I couldn't have been the only nurse you'd seen here that day."

"Of course not, but you were the only one who'd already been touched by death."

My head snapped in his direction. "What do you mean?"

"Your medical condition, Raven. Every time you experienced an episode, a little part of you died."

I stared at him, gauging the validity of his statement. I let my mind wander back through every episode I'd ever had. I thought about each time that I'd lowered my head, closed my eyes, and trained my breathing, and could now recall seeing a white light just before my vision had cleared and the episode had passed. I could only assume it was in those moment
s that a small piece of me had faded away.

"It's a very rare thing, Raven. Dying a little without becoming an actual white-lighter. It was that connection that continued to draw me back to you. I watched you every day for months, getting a feel for the kind-hearted person you were. Then, you had your final episode and joined me."

I didn't know what to say. Since becoming a Reaper, I prided myself on being strong, someone people feared and respected, yet here was Death telling me he'd chosen me because we had a connection and that I was a kind-hearted person. I felt exposed, vulnerable, and I didn't like it.

"Thank you for telling me, I had no idea," I replied somberly. "What was Holli's condition? I can only assume she had also been touched by death."

"Yes. Holli is the same as you in that way, though plagued by a different ailment." He waved his hand. "Nothing worth talking about. Now let's see...it looks like it's time for you to get back to work."

I turned back to the operating table to see the young girl take her final breath, and froze.

Oh shit!
If Death saw me save her, everything would be ruined.

Please think of yourself, please think of yourself
.

I stood there, sick to my stomach, hoping this girl would die so I could keep my secret. I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. I was usually good at hiding my emotions, but right now, I was leveled.

The girl's soul rose from her body and looked in my direction.

I breathed a sigh of relief while Death simply smiled and disappeared.

I flared my wings and I beamed at the girl. "Please don't fear me. I'm only here to help you find peace."

She nodded and took my hand.

Suddenly, something flickered in the air, catching my eye. I squinted, trying to make it out, while my inner light continued to build.

I laughed.

A small white feather drifted before me, landing softly at my feet.

"Thanks for the assist," I called out, after watching the girl walk through the gates and evaporate into thin air.

"You're very welcome."

I spun in the direction of the deep voice and smiled. Michael was gliding down from above me with nothing on but a pair of low slung jeans. Tattoos marred his glistening bronze skin, and his dark, caramel-streaked hair was a sexy mess. He was glorious.

"You needn't worry about Death discovering your gift. We are constantly monitoring the situation and will step in whenever necessary," he explained.

I stood silent, processing his words.
I should be happy that he has my back, right?
Right.
So why did
the grateful words I'd planned to say catch in my throat? "If you've been monitoring me, why haven't I seen you before now? Are you avoiding me? Have our encounters meant nothing to you?"

Gag
. I could not believe I'd just said that but I couldn't help the way I felt. I sounded like a desperate girlfriend and that pissed me off. How was it possible I'd become so insecure after only two kisses? "Never mind. I'm outta here." I turned to storm off, hoping my anger would trigger my inner light so I could hasten my escape.

"Please wait."

I froze. I wasn't sure if it was his gentle tone, or the fact that I so desperately wanted to hear what he had to say, or even worse, if he had some sort of control over me now that I worked for Heaven––but stop and wait is exactly what I did.

He pressed into my wings and slid his hands down my sides, bringing them
to rest on my hips. He pulled me into him; his belt buckle hitting my lower back.

"I'm sorry you've felt avoided. That was not my intention. I simply thought it would be easier for us to stay apart until this is over and we no longer have to hide our connection."

"What connection? I don't even know what this is."

He spun me around, moving his hands up to cup my face.

"I've already told you, Raven, when this is over, you will belong to me."

"You make
it sound as if I don't have a choice."

"Would you choose otherwise?"

"I'm not sure. But aren't we all about free will? Heaven, Death, the Reapers? We're all so concerned about the choice that has to be made at the end of our lives, yet you make it sound as if I won't be afforded the same."

He studied me with an intensity that almost burned, his gaze coming to rest on my lips. "I can't remove your mark, but I will let you choose when the time comes. Is that what you want to hear?"

Yes. No.
"Thank you."

"You're welcome. And as for what
this
is..." His lips met mine and I was transported––Heaven was merely a pit stop.

25

"Why are you so giddy?" Garrett asked.

I smiled and set my drink back on the bar. "I'm not giddy. Just happy we decided to take a break from the
fight
."

He eyeballed me, gauging my response. "BS, you're hiding something."

I laughed out loud. "Fine. During one of my retrievals today, Death paid me a visit."

His eyes widened. "And
that's
put a smile on your face?" he interrupted.

"No...the trip I took to Heaven afterwards did." I squirmed in my chair.

"Ah ha. So how i
s
the Archangel?"

"Shhhh...shut up. Someone could overhear." I gawked around the bar, my eyes darting to each Reaper's face, looking for signs as to whether they'd overheard us or not. It wasn't like the words 'Heaven' or 'Hell' were out of place in our conversations, but I was pretty sure the words, 'angels', 'archangel', or 'Michael', would perk a few ears. I was relieved when the Reapers continued to lift their drinks and shift on their stools, oblivious.

"Not here, okay?" I suggested.

"Sure, sure. You're right." He nodded and turned his attention back to his drink. We sat quietly, sipping from our glasses––his filled with whiskey, mine with an Amaretto. When Garrett had suggested we come here to blow off some steam, I thought it had been a good idea. Now...not so much.

"So, what did Death want, anyway?" Garrett's question broke the silence.

"Oddly enough he didn't open up and tell me his deepest darkest secrets," I teased, rolling my eyes. "Honestly, the entire thing was so strange. He reminisced about the first time he saw me, almost to the point of sounding nostalgic. I thought he was there to check up on me and ask about my mark, but he didn't."