Rangers: Silver-Star Seductions: A Two-Book Box Set (11 page)

Her knuckles barely rapped before the hotel room door opened. Kade’s eyes met hers and she was taken by the strongest feeling that whatever happened in the next few minutes would change both their lives.

It was an unsettling feeling and one she was unaccustomed to. At least in a personal sense. Cia had spent the last five years closing herself off and refusing to allow herself to have feelings for a man, any man.

Why was this man so different that she had come here, willing to bare her soul and reveal all of her dark secrets?

“I wasn’t sure you’d show.” His tense voice cut into her thoughts.

“I said I would.”

Kade gestured her inside. She noticed the tidiness of the room. Was he always so tidy and neat? She took a seat in the chair at the small desk, leaving Kade to sit on the bed.

“I want to know about Dwayne Jones.”

Of course he did. Dwayne Jones had changed her life, turned her into someone she barely recognized and didn’t really want to know.

“I killed him. I told you. I was wounded and in the hospital for three weeks. While hospitalized, I was approached by the SACU. After my release I went through training and joined the unit.”

“Yeah, I got that. But there’s more to the story. Like you believing that Jones was possessed by a man who died in the 1800s, and Joe showing up.”

Here it was, the moment of truth. Cia’s first inclination was to get up and run. Let Kade hate her for being a coward and a murderer. He was probably going to hate her anyway so why put herself through it?

Because he matters.

That annoying, ever-present alter ego was going to be her undoing. But it was right. Whether she liked it or not, and for whatever inexplicable reason, he did matter.

She got up and crossed the room to sit beside him on the bed. This conversation demanded a more close proximity, one where she could see into his eyes clearly and feel the energy that pulsed around him.

“At the time, I didn’t know Jones was possessed. That came much later, after I joined the SACU. That’s when I realized I’d killed an innocent man.”

Kade's expression turned fierce. “A man, who, according to the file, had raped, tortured and killed three other girls and would have done so again if you hadn’t stopped him.”

“On the surface, yes. But it wasn’t Jones. It was Vacher. Jones was just the vessel. He may have tried to free himself, may have hated what his body was made to do.”

“Or he may have welcomed all that evil.” Kade turned slightly to face her. “I know about evil, Cia. It can start out small, a lie here and there, or an act of mild violence. When those things bring a thrill that can’t be forgotten, evil grows.”

“I agree. But it doesn’t change the fact that I killed a man who might have been innocent.”

“Have you asked him?”

That question shocked her. “Asked Jones?”

“Yeah. Have you tried to contact him, to find out if what he was doing horrified him or turned him on?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?”

She could not answer, could not speak for all of the thoughts and feelings that suddenly swirled inside her. Why had she never thought to try? What if Jones was not innocent? Would that absolve her of some of the guilt she carried?

“Cia?”

She shook her head. “I can’t go there, Kade. Not right now.”

“Okay, I’ll let it go. For now. So, tell me about Joe.”

“What about him?”

“When did he show up?”

“When I was lying on the floor of Jones’ basement, bleeding out.”

“Care to elaborate?”

She sighed, closed her eyes, and allowed herself to go back to that time.

She could hear the girl, whimpering and tugging at her restraints, begging for release, begging Cia not to die and leave her there alone.

Cia wanted to go to the girl, to release her, hold her, and let her know that she was safe. But her strength was gone. Lying on the cold concrete floor, her life meter steadily lowering with the loss of blood.

Her sight was fading, dimmed as if someone was playing with the lights, lowering them in steady increments. Soon the light would be gone. She would be gone.

Oh god, she was going to die with blood on her hands. She had killed him. Not because she had to, but because her rage overshadowed her decency. She would not die in a state of grace. There would be no redemption for her sin.

“I’m sorry,” she managed to whisper.

“Shhh, child.” A man’s voice with the sweet flavor of the South spoke from beside her. “You just hold on.”

She felt a warm hand on her abdomen, covering the wound. At first touch, the pain diminished, growing steadily less. Her vision focused for just a moment and she saw a man. “Are you God?”

He smiled. “Lord no, child. I’m just Joe.”

Cia pulled herself back from that moment. “I lost consciousness then. When I woke, I was in the hospital. He was there, standing beside my bed, holding my hand. I asked him again who he was, and he said he was Joe.

"He stayed with me the entire time. It didn’t take long to figure out that no one else could see him but me. I started to think I was crazy after a few days. So much so that I asked for a psych evaluation. I screwed up and confessed about Joe.

“I was sure I would get booted from the force. And sure enough, I did. Three days before I was released, I got the word. A day later Brett Wade, the Director of the SACU, showed up with Delilah. She saw Vacher. He was there, watching.”

“And Joe?”

“She didn’t see him. Has never seen him.”

“Why didn’t you see Vacher?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Joe was protecting me from seeing him.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you saw Joe?”

She nodded. “I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing. Delilah saw Vacher. What if Vacher was presenting himself to me as Joe? I couldn’t be sure. The man she described wasn’t who I saw, but I was new to all of the psychic stuff. What if he was screwing with me?

“When I got out of the hospital I went through all of the necessary training and joined the SACU. I’m surprised they took me. Joe was still there. I couldn’t trust him, couldn’t trust me. So, I ran from him and myself. I drank myself into unconsciousness every night, screwed around and took stupid risks.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone?”

“I don’t know, Kade. Fear? Shame? The fact that I hated myself? All I know is that once I started down that path I couldn’t get off it. I became convinced that Joe really was Vacher and it was only a matter of time before he either used me for his evil or I killed myself to escape him.

“It almost happened. I got drunk, way too drunk to drive, and ran over a man. Ran right over him. I managed to get out of my car and the man was dying. I was too damn drunk to even dial 911. Then suddenly Joe was there. He knelt down, put his hands on the man and suddenly the man was healed.

“He apologized. Actually apologized. He’d been walking home from the pub. Must’ve had a few too many and fell over in the road. How lucky he was that I’d come along before someone ran over him.

“I couldn’t even talk. I just sat there until Joe picked me up and led me back to my car. He drove me home and put me in bed. I couldn’t sleep, even as drunk as I was. He stayed with me all night. The next morning I found out that while Joe was with me another murder had happened. Same MO as Dwayne Jones.

“I knew then that Joe couldn’t be Vacher. And I knew that I had to find Vacher and stop him.”

“And?”

She actually started she was so surprised. Kade was obviously more than merely intuitive. He’d picked up that she was holding out.

“And I went to war. At least in my own head. I became obsessed with stopping Vacher. It…it colored my judgment. So much that I killed two people.”

His voice was tight when he asked, “You want to elaborate?”

“Not really.”

“I need to know, Cia.”

“Yeah. I know.” She closed her eyes for a moment. She’d never spoken to anyone about this. She’d just accepted the decision of the review board that’d deemed the kills as justified and tried, unsuccessfully, to forget.

“There were three murders in Detroit. The last one something was left at the scene, a partial print. We were able to get an ID. Ronald Spaulding. The man worked at a local bar as a bouncer. He had a short rap sheet, mostly for bar fights, one assault with a deadly.

“We staked him out. It was my shift. My partner came down with the flu so I took the shift solo. I was…I was drinking. A woman came to his house. After about twenty minutes, I heard screaming. I called it in but instead of waiting for backup, I went in.

“I thought he was raping her. He had her bent over the arm of the sofa and she was screaming the house down. I kicked in the door and ordered him to back away and lie down on the floor.

“He backed up and started to kneel when the woman jumped up and grabbed a beer bottle from the coffee table. She smacked it against the table, breaking off the end. I yelled at her to stop but she came at me. I saw him rise and start toward me behind the woman. He had a gun. I don’t know how. Maybe it was on the couch or the floor.

“I saw them coming and I killed them both.”

“And?”

“It was ruled as self-defense.”

“Was it?”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t have to kill them. I was drunk and angry. I wanted him to be Vacher and when they came at me, I wanted to kill them. Not wound or cripple, but kill. As it turns out, he wasn’t raping the woman. They had a standing thing. She liked it rough and she liked to be loud.

“His print was at the murder scene because he had dated the victim a couple of times. Because of my obsession and my weakness, I killed two people. I’ve got their blood on my hands and I’ll never get it off.”

Kade said nothing when she fell silent. They sat there for a long time, neither speaking, just looking at one another.

Finally, Cia stood and moved to the door. It was clear that everything had been said. She’d given Kade the answers he wanted and now they were done. She reached for the door handle.

“Cia, wait.”

She turned to see him get off the bed and cross the room to her. He took her by the arm and turned her to face him.

“I don’t know much about all this psychic stuff but one thing I do know is that evil can’t take someone over unless there’s not enough good in the person to stop it. You have to be open to evil or it doesn’t have anywhere to live.

“You’re not evil, Cia. Just afraid and confused. Yeah, you killed those people but to be honest, I don’t know if I or any other law enforcement officer would have done differently.”

“But it wasn’t any other officer, Kade. It was me. I have to live with that, but I won’t ask anyone else to join my misery.”

“What if someone asked to be let in?”

That question scared her as much as the question of her own morality. She couldn’t verbally respond, she could only drop her head, look down, and not meet his eyes. If she did, he might see how much she wished she could say yes.

“Cia.” He spoke her name like a prayer, so sweet and full of care that tears sprang to life in her eyes.

“Kade, don’t.” She still could not meet his eyes.

“Cia.”

The second time she could not resist the call. She raised her head to meet his eyes.

Kade didn’t speak, he just swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

She scooted away from him when he started to lie on top of her. “I’m not looking for love, Kade.”

He stared at her for a moment then smiled. “Well, how about passion?”

“That, I can handle.”

“Then lose those clothes, sweetness, and invite me in. I promise I’ll take you where you’re never been.”

Cia wasn’t fooled by the lightness of his tone or the boastful words. She could see in his eyes that Kade wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of man. Why he was pretending was a mystery. Had he simply accepted that passion and a short-lived affair was all they’d ever have?

Maybe so. She would find out soon enough. “Big talk.”

“Comes with a money-back, iron-clad guarantee.”

Cia looked up into his eyes and time seemed to stop. He wasn’t the only one playing games, pretending. The truth was if she had one wish, it would be that this man, these feelings he inspired, could be something of the forever kind.

Kade watched her eyes, waiting for her response. There was something there, some emotion she tried to hide. Was whatever she felt enough to scare her off? He hoped not. Something inside him said that she just might be the woman for him, the one who could accept and understand.

Relief flooded him when she gave him an impish grin. “Well, hell, Kade. When you put it like that…”

Before he’d had time to react, she grabbed his shirt in both hands and ripped it open. That wasn’t a shirt he’d be wearing again anytime soon. Buttons flew this way and that as she bared his chest. He barely had time to do more than smile before her mouth was on his chest and her fingers were working on his belt buckle.