Raised By Wolves 2 - Matelots (27 page)

“He has always been mad,” I sighed. “His ability to control his madness was affected, though. In time, that will pass. And we are working toward allaying his issue with whips and other triggers ourselves, by far gentler means. And as you saw today, the time it takes him to recover from a bout has been greatly diminished. And we know he finds life aboard a ship calming and orderly. It enhances his control.”

They were all thoughtful. Gaston caressed my fingers.

“I will vouch for him,” Striker sighed and studied the floor. “I would have, anyhow; but now I will do so with confidence.”

I smiled. “Thank you. For that, and for being willing to vouch for him without confidence.”

He smiled sadly and shook his head. “God knows I am fond of the both of you.”

There was something haunting his eyes. I wondered at his thoughts.

“I hope you already know it is mutual,” I said.

“Aye.” His smile quickly sobered. “Will, he cannot be starting fights, or arranging bodies, or anything else.”

“Nay, or speaking in tongues,” I said. “I know. I know. He did not start the fight today to… cause trouble. He wanted to lose. He wanted them to beat him as soundly as they beat me.”

“He’s done that before,” Cudro said. “When he goes, he’ll battle anyone in his path.”

“Aye,” I sighed. “Pierrot actually warned me of it, but today was the first I have seen of it.”

“So he does that to lose?” Striker asked.

“Aye,” I sighed. “Not every time, but when he instigates a fight with more men than he can handle.”

“Why?” Striker asked.

Gaston’s fingers were tight about mine.

“I do not feel I can discuss that with you,” I said quickly. “I do not fully understand it myself. And it is a thing I would not tell the other captains; well, perhaps Pierrot, but only if Gaston permits it.”

My matelot rubbed my fingers. I was not sure how I could relay that to Striker.

“I understand,” Striker sighed in response to the words he had heard. “It would sure mitigate the hard feelings, though.”

I could see where it would. Gaston squeezed my fingers.

“I feel you can tell Pierrot, but no other,” I said. “How were things left with the tavern?”

They all waved me off and made disparaging noises.

“I talked to the men involved,” Striker said. “That is how I heard of the French gossip.”

“Lovely,” I muttered. “Anything else I should know of?”

“We… you have a housekeeper,” Striker said. “And you’re right; she’s a mousey little thing. We got her situated with a bed and the like.”

“She Likes Dahgs. We Can Keep’Er.”

I smiled. “Thank you.” I looked to Theodore. “I take it all went well with her stepfather.”

“Aye,” he sighed. “He thinks thirty pounds makes him wealthy, and he is pleased to be rid of her. The contract is seven years, and she is fourteen, so he does not expect to ever see her again.”

I nodded. “Good. If I ever meet him, I will most likely kill him.”

Theodore sighed loudly, but when I looked to him, I found him chuckling.

Striker was studying Gaston with concern. I wondered if Gaston had betrayed himself in some fashion.

“Will you be well if we leave?” Striker asked with a smile.

I nodded.

He did a curious thing: he leaned over and kissed my forehead, and then Gaston’s temple.

“Don’t worry me so,” he whispered.

I was sure the admonishment was to both of us.

Striker left with Cudro and Pete. I thanked them yet again.

Theodore came around the table to sit on the side of the bed where Striker had. I wondered if he would kiss me too. He bore the same mien of concern.

“None of them mentioned your potential nuptials, so I did not either,” he said.

I watched Theodore carefully. Other than an anxious glance at Gaston’s head on my shoulder, he was ignoring my matelot and talking only to me. I judged he did not realize Gaston was awake.

I sighed. “I have not told them, yet. I…”

Theodore shook his head. “No need to explain, they are buccaneers, they will likely consider it treachery against your matelot.”

I grinned. “Pete will.”

He sobered. “I, however, would like to know if that matter had a thing to do with Gaston’s loss of control.”

“Aye and nay,” I answered.

Gaston squeezed my fingers.

I shook my head. “Aye, it did… have much to do with it, such that the wedding will not occur. I am sorry, but…”

“I understand,” he said with a dismissive wave. “I know you will surrender your title for him. I hold no judgment over that. And with all you have said tonight concerning his madness… I see where… My Lord, Will, however will you… survive?”

His words caught my breath. Gaston’s fingers did not move.

I chuckled. “I wonder that myself. I hope, in time, I can help him. He truly wanted this. He tried very hard. He puts great store in my title. He puts store in children, which I do not. He was truly not opposed to my marrying. But, Miss Vines is… quite the opponent, and it... tore at the fabric of our partnership.”

“What will you do when the bride your father will send arrives?” he asked.

I shrugged such as I was able. “I will not know until we meet her.”

“So there is still the possibility that you will proceed with what must be done to inherit?”

“Aye.”

Theodore considered that with a grave frown. “I am both relieved and concerned. I would ask you this: Is it possible he will pose a threat to any bride?”

I had not considered that. I was not sure if Gaston had, either, but the mention of it caused him to start ever so slightly. Thankfully, Theodore was intent upon my reaction alone.

“I do not know,” I said soberly.

Theodore lowered his voice, though I knew not who else would hear.

“Will, the Brethren are by necessity tolerant of all manner of things, and resolve matters among themselves. It appears that you have already dealt with that once, and now you will have to dispel this issue of the French gossip in some fashion. English law is not so tolerant. Gaston has been protected from much of the effects of his madness by living exclusively among the Brethren. Now, with you, he hangs between two sets of laws. If he harms someone other than a buccaneer, your father’s name will not protect him, and he no longer has his father’s title either.

He is a commoner, and will be treated as such by the law.”

I was stunned. Gaston had often harmed someone while mad, but unless it was the Spanish, it had always been a member of the Brethren and always because he was provoked, and it had never caused a death.

But Theodore was correct: all of that would be perceived very differently if Gaston attacked a planter or, far more likely, any bride I took.

For his part, my matelot was rubbing my fingers in a frantic manner.

“Thank you,” I said seriously. “I had not thought of any of that. Now I shall have night terrors.” I smiled weakly.

Theodore smiled sadly and patted my shoulder. “I do not know what advice to give you, other than it is probably safest if you rove, provided the buccaneers don’t maroon you someplace.”

I nodded. “We have thought much the same, but not for that reason.”

“Rest now, and heal,” he admonished.

“I will try. I feel I will spend some goodly time composing what I will say to Miss Vines and Sir Christopher.”

He sighed heavily. “Perhaps we can concoct some plausible excuse for your change of heart that will not make them your enemies.”

I smiled. “The truth would probably leave them relieved.”

Theodore chuckled.

“Sleep,” he said, and left us.

Gaston moved as soon as the door closed. He rose above me, and supported himself on one arm, so that I need not strain to see him. He appeared to be himself, and I found myself gazing into a pair of calm but intense emerald eyes.

“I would not harm any bride of yours,” he said quickly.

I was thankful my right eye was injured and not my left, as my left eyebrow is always the one I raise in query. I did so now.

He shook his head regretfully. “You are correct. I can guarantee nothing.”

I smiled. “Non, I feel you cannot at this juncture, but I trust you still, and I do not wish to dwell on that now. Were you awake through the entirety of it?”

“I began to wake when you slapped me.”

“I was afraid you had taken far too much laudanum. We have apparently not moved all day. Are you angry with me over anything I said or… revealed?” I asked cautiously.

He shook his head and smiled. “Non. You were quite… adroit in interpreting my signals and answering so that you said all that was needed and little else. And they are our friends; they need to know.”

Then he gave me a mock-angry glare and his hand went playfully about my throat. “And how can you worry over my feelings on the matter after all I have done? I swear, there are times I would strangle you.”

With alarm, I recalled the last time he had gone for my neck. I kept my tone amused. “This morning was apparently nearly one of them.”

His hand was quickly away, and his pretense at anger replaced by sincere guilt.

“There are times I could strangle you,” I said gently. “And this morning was one of them.”

“You should have.” He smiled sadly. “You were very angry. You surprised me. I am proud of you. I thought we would fight.”

I shook my head. “If you had not said what you did to make me angry… my Horse was truly intent on running off the cliff and convincing me the fall would not be so very bad. So I would say, never ever say that to me again, but in this case, it served an unplanned purpose.”

“What exactly can I not say?” he asked sincerely.

“That I want it,” I said calmly.

He frowned. “I am not to tell you that you want it?”

I shook my head somberly. “Not in that situation, non. It is a thing Shane said. He would admonish me with it to stifle my protests while he took me. And it was a thing Alonso even said on occasion. He was kinder, in that he would use the phrase to cajole me.”

“I feel you have told me that before,” Gaston said sadly.

“I may have, I do not remember. You were very odd this morning.”

I snorted at the absurdity of my statement. “Of course you were, but I mean, you were… I do not know if your intent was to hurt me, so much as it was to take what you wanted, and you knew I wanted. And then you said that, which if I have told you that, was a very cruel thing to say. I am torn as to whether or not you were truly trying to drive me away.”

He looked away and his voice was thick. “I was testing you. I cannot believe you love me so.”

I understood; and though it stirred the embers of a deep anger, they did not kindle. “Ah, you said something similar in the aftermath. That if I truly love you, then…”

“I am worthy of it, and that must change my perspective on all else done to me.” He shook his head guiltily. “I look upon you now, and I do not feel very worthy of love.”

His gaze was on my swollen eye.

I smiled weakly. “Do I look as I feel?”

“Do you feel as if you were trampled by a bull?” He smiled with guilt.

“Oui, I do.” I chuckled. My ribs complained, and I grimaced.

“Do not make me laugh, you bastard.” I grinned.

He closed his eyes with pain. “I am sorry, Will. I cause nothing but trouble.”

I remembered making a similar statement, and his response. “Tell me of it, I married you.”

He looked hurt.

This amused me even more. “Non, my love, I will not gainsay you on it. You require far more effort than any other thing I have ever attempted.”

He caressed my undamaged cheek. “I am trying very hard.”

“I know,” I said kindly. “And I love you for it even more.”

He nodded. “What will we do, now that I have a made a mockery of our plans and no one wishes to sail with me?”

“That is not true.”

He sighed. “You are correct. We have true friends. I do not feel I am worthy of them, either.”

“You must learn to become inured to that, though I am equally unaccustomed to it and grateful for it.” I grinned. “Theodore actually ran to fetch Pete and Striker. I cannot imagine him running.”

He smiled, but further thoughts of Theodore apparently sobered him. “He is correct. I will hang if I kill someone. It has not been a danger before, because I have been amongst the Brethren.”

“All right, we will dwell upon it a little. Would you wish to harm Miss Vines while mad?”

He nodded sadly. “The guilty looks she gave me after you kissed her raised my hackles.”

That was interesting. One missed so much only having one pair of eyes. “You truly feel she wants me, such that she would be jealous of you?” I recalled all that had been said to the best of my ability and realized I had seen hint of it too. “I feel you are correct.”

“No matter what potential good the situation might present,” he said,

“I feel no good can come of it. I am sorry, as I am the one who put you to it.” I shook my head and attempted to shrug again. “Non, non, it was ill-fated all around. I will tell them something, and we will be done with it.”

He gave a rueful smile. “Perhaps you should tell them the truth.

That you have cast your lot with a madman.”

Sadly, I did not think that would mitigate Sir Christopher’s dislike of me when he learned I had trifled with his daughter. I thought it likely he would be angry that I had a matelot at all.

“I think it likely Christine will be relieved,” I sighed.

“I hope she does not hate us.” He shook his head. “And as for the other, I do not know how I will be if the bride arrives.”

“Please do not take offense, my love, but I think it likely I shall never marry and we shall be forced to steal children from tinkers.”

He chuckled, and climbed gingerly over me and off the bed.

“Do you require anything?” he asked as he availed himself of the chamber pot.

I had to think on it, as the answer was not immediate. I hurt so much that the normal functions of my body were very distant things. “I am thirsty.”

He fetched a bottle of water and cradled my head so that I could drink. I felt like a babe in his arms. It was comforting.