Authors: John F. Carr & Camden Benares
She turned to the priest beside her and said, "You may administer the sacraments."
The tall man dispensed small pieces of a dark brown root to the twelve of us and said, "Chew thoroughly before swallowing."
The tribal members standing around the perimeter of the chamber watched as we ingested the sacred plant, some sort of root. The taste was new to me, a pleasant bitterness.
After we were done chewing, the priest led us along a candle-lit path to an underground spring that bubbled up and flowed through a time worn channel across the cave floor and into the shadows. During the short walk I felt an incredible rush, as if something were dancing in my veins, floating joyously in my lungs, and fine-tuning all my nerve ends. Dizziness and gut rumblings were the side effects that we all shared.
"Kneel down by the channel and let it all come up," the priest ordered.
Within a short time, all of us threw up the contents of our stomach into the channel. As the spring water washed away all that we disgorged, the priest said, "The purification has begun."
When the vomiting ceased, the priestess said, "Rinse your mouths in the spring and be ready for the Dance of the Skeletons. Let the music begin."
Musicians, wearing green robes and conical orange hats, emerged from the ranks of tribal members. Their hollowed gourds, wide-bodied stringed instruments, bone xylophones, and hollow-log drums created a fascinating melody with a compelling beat. Tribal members thrust wired-together skeletons into our arms. The entire tribe chanted "Dance! Dance! Dance!"
Along with the other initiates, we whirled in frenzied circles, adding the rattling of a dozen skeletons to the spectacle and rhythm of the ceremony. The chanting tribal members herded us toward a small area that had twelve tunnels leading away from it. All the tunnels were narrow, dark, and foreboding. The music faded and the priest said, "Each candidate will enter a tunnel for the Communion of Flesh and Bone. When the candidates return, they will lay the Old Ones to rest in their crypts. Then each of the newly initiated will engrave a chosen name on a plaque."
Still lightheaded from the ceremonial root and the whirling dance, I entered a passageway. The floor was smooth as if worn down by human traffic over eons. When the light from the chamber no longer penetrated the passageway, I saw a solitary candle burning in an alcove. I approached the alcove and heard a female voice behind me say, "Hang the skeleton on the hook beneath the candle."
I relieved myself of the burden of the bones and turned toward the voice. Her face, indistinct in the candlelight, wavered in my drug-altered vision. First she appeared to be the woman in the red dress who led me into the big chamber for initiation. Then she became the beautiful priestess. Then she became every woman and I was in her arms, lost in lust and love. Clothes dropped like fall leaves, unneeded and unheeded. Rapidly, but without hurry, we began the communion of the flesh. I felt that everything I needed was mine and was sure that my chosen name would come to me when I needed to speak it.
Our mutual ardor multiplied until the world of our sensuality was all that existed. I took that world, compressed it into my scrotum. Then I allowed it to erupt and I felt like I had recreated the world from the union of flesh—
Suddenly, cold, hard hands ripped me from my bliss, grabbed me under the armpits and pulled me to my feet. I was dragged out of the Simulike cubicle by two men dressed in blue body suits and wearing white wristlocks with black stars. I saw Errox in the next cubicle; he was lost in the Simulike experience.
"What... What is going on?"
"Errox, 14893-2456331, we are the Variation Investigation Service. You are being taken into custody for social deviance and illegal entry."
I tried to reply, but a numbing fog was sprayed into my face. My will to resist drifted away….
When I regained consciousness, one of the burly VIS officers was locking a transparent collar around my neck. He saw that I was awake and asked, "You know what this is, Errox, don’t you?"
"No."
"It’s a custodial collar. You can’t remove it unless you have one of these." He showed me a small box with buttons on it.
"With this disrupter," he said, "I can reduce the flow of signals to your brain. Any failure to cooperate in accompanying us to the nearest VIS center and I'll push this button and you will lose control of your mind and body. Would you like a demonstration?"
"No." I believed him. The old feeling of helplessness had returned in full force. I didn’t need any demonstration of his power to know I was in bad trouble. By giving me his wristlock, Errox had transferred his identity, past sins and transgressions onto me.
With VIS officers on both sides of me, I was marched to the nearest slidestrip and was soon put into a VIS center detention cell, still wearing a collar. I hadn’t bothered memorizing the route. There was a good chance I might never leave since I had no way of proving I wasn’t Errox or anyone at all. Just a blanc, with no past, and now—no future.
The cell was small with walls as gray as my wristlock. I sat on one of the two built-in benches with my head in my hands. Nobody had informed me of any charges or what I was waiting for. I knew that I'd be questioned and, no matter what the questions were, my answers wouldn't be satisfactory.
If I told them I wasn't Errox, then I was guilty of wearing a wristlock that didn't belong to me. That would reveal that I was a blanc. Then I'd be sent to a holding center for nu-blancs where I suspected I would lose all my new memories. My memories weren’t great, but they were all I had of my identity as Rathe—an identity I was determined to keep.
A small man, in a prim white tunic, entered my cell. He sat across from me on the other bench holding a disrupter for the collar locked around my neck.
"I am Arvon, the intake interrogator. Do you confirm your identity as Errox, 14893-2456331?"
"I have no answers for any of your questions."
"Do you deny that identity?"
"I neither confirm nor deny."
"We have identified you as Errox. You are suspected of illegal entry into the Color Wheel. You are suspected of being a riplocker and of associating with a subversive group. We are certain you are deviating from the social norms. You will have to be reconditioned. How deep that reconditioning goes depends on several factors; however, the single factor you control is your degree of cooperation. With verified cooperation you may be able to retain the socially acceptable portions of your character and personality. Do you understand that?"
"Yes."
"Then you will cooperate?"
"I refuse to answer any questions."
Arvon pressed the collar controller. My awareness dimmed out. I fell onto the floor. When I picked myself up, Arvon was gone. I had a headache and a skinned elbow. I lay down on the bench, wondering if I'd made the right choice.
The next time my cell door opened, a short brown-skinned woman with black hair and dark, piercing eyes entered. She wore the white wristlock with black stars that identified her as VIS, but no uniform. Her tunic was brown like mine. She held a collar disrupter in her hand.
"I'm Clandine, your custodian," she announced.
I didn't say anything.
She sat down on the opposite bench and waved the collar disrupter in the air. "Do you know the effects this can have?"
"Yes."
"Then you have no doubt who is in control here?"
"No doubts."
For a moment there was a faraway look on her face as if she were deciding something important before speaking. Then she said, "My priorities are different from Arvon's. He sees you as a potentially dangerous deviate from the norms. I see you as a potential agent of change. If a society can't adapt to positive change, it stagnates. In our society upward mobility is possible only by playing the Game and winning. But many people with talents and skills refuse to play the Game and remain grays.”
"You are one of those people. You are skilled at survival and talented in dealing with others. You have influence and a reputation among many of the grays. I can get the charges against you dismissed if you act as my eyes and ears among the grays."
"I'm not a spy."
"I'm not asking you to betray associates. I need to know more about the resistance to rainbow rule. I know you're aware that a resistance group exists."
I knew I wasn't going to tell her anything about Kahalyton. He had been friendly toward me and I wasn't going to cause trouble for him and his Counter Colors. The look on my face must have revealed that I had some knowledge of the opposition.
Clandine quickly asked, "What do you know about the Freedom Crusaders?"
"Nothing," I answered, so surprised that the question wasn't about the Counter Colors that I replied without thinking about my intention not to answer questions. I suspected that Clandine was a more skilled interrogator than Arvon, perhaps skilled enough to get information I didn't want to give out.
Errox had saved my life, gotten me a wristlock, and taken me to a new dwell. Even though the wristlock had gotten me arrested by the VIS, I didn't know if that had been his intention. I wasn't sure what Errox had intended for me, but I knew he liked to have power over people. I had felt powerless ever since awakening in the Rainbow Room. Now, Clandine held the upper hand. She had the power to get my charges dismissed or punish me for Errox's sins—or my own.
"Errox do you know anything about a gray group that is recruiting volunteers from the permanent grays and using them to rebel against the system in dangerous ways?" she asked, her voice insistent.
"No. This is the first I've heard of them." I was getting information from Clandine's questions, but I couldn't fit what I knew into a cohesive whole. Kahalyton had spouted a lot of rhetoric about a utopian society that he envisioned, but he had told me nothing about how it was to be brought into being. I wondered if the Freedom Crusaders were a militant wing of the Counter Colors or a completely different group.
"I’ve heard that you have connections throughout the gray world. I was certain that you would know something about the strength of the Freedom Crusaders and how they condition their volunteers. You know they use terrorism as part of their means to challenge the social order?"
"I'm opposed to terrorism and if I had any information about terrorists I'd tell you."
"Look Errox, the Freedom Crusaders send members on suicide missions. I want to know how they recruit them and how they convince them to die in attacks upon the institutions and ways of our society."
"I don't know anything about them."
"You sound very sincere, Errox, and you project innocence well. I'm wondering if that is just part of your persuasive manner. You are much different from what I expected."
"What did you expect?" I asked.
"A smooth-talking confidence operator with greedy goals, superficial good looks, short term charm, and long term plans."
"I don't see myself that way."
"I haven't seen strong indications of those characteristics, either. You may be a better actor than anyone has ever suspected."
There was a rapping at the door. Clandine looked through the thick plastic window and then opened the door.
Arvon came in. He still looked neat and orderly but his manner was agitated. Arvon said to Clandine, "There must have been spotters outside the Simulike Palace. I just heard from a semi-reliable source that the Freedom Crusaders are going to attack this center to free the prisoners. I think that's because Errox is here."
"Are there any other prisoners here that you're sure are Freedom Crusaders?" Clandine asked.
"Five suspects. Errox makes six."
"We can't be certain they're after Errox. They could be interested in freeing one or more prisoners who are valuable to them—prisoners with an importance we haven't discovered yet."
"That could be," Arvon said. "I'll authorize a deep probe background check on the ones we aren't familiar with. If any of them are willing to cooperate, we can use the vericator to check their truthfulness. I've requested backup troops to deal with a possible Freedom Crusader attack even though I have limited confidence in the message from my informant.
"The threat of a Freedom Crusader attack may be just a ploy to get you to take Errox out of here. Then they would have a better chance of rescuing him or killing him if they think he knows too much. Either way you might get killed, Clandine."
"I'm not ready to leave here yet. If Errox tells us his story, I want to check it out with the vericator."
He turned to me and said, "If they're coming, they're probably coming after you. Do you know if it is to rescue you or to make sure you never talk? They have no compunction about taking the life of anyone for any reason or for what appears to be no reason at all. I don't understand them, but they're a potential danger to you. If you cooperate with Clandine, we may be able to save your life."
"If you destroy my personality with reconditioning, the life you save will not be mine. I don't see any difference between losing my identity and losing my life. Why should I cooperate in my own destruction?"
"Cooperation is the only way you can retain your identity, Errox," Clandine answered. "We have the techniques and the tools to brainwipe you, but doing that would mean we would never get the information you have. You can only help yourself by helping us."
"What does the brainwipe procedure do?"
"It destroys memory or access to memory. The subject retains motor skills, most of his language awareness and the basic human characteristics. It enables the candidate to start fresh after reorientation in an imprinting center."
Now I thought I knew exactly what had happened to me. I had been brainwiped and turned into a blanc. But I hadn't been taken to an imprinting center. I had been dumped in the Rainbow Room to die. The person I had been before I became Rathe must have had powerful enemies. I wondered who they were and if they were still my enemies.
"So my choices are retaining my knowledge of myself by cooperating or choosing not to cooperate and losing my identity."