RaeAnne Thayne Hope's Crossings Series Volume One: Blackberry Summer\Woodrose Mountain\Sweet Laurel Falls (77 page)

“My father?”

Maura's hands flexed on her thighs even as she made a scoffing
sort of sound. “I don't know where you possibly came up with that crazy idea,”
she began, but Sage cut her off.

“Please don't lie to me. You've been lying for twenty years.
Can we just stop now?” Though the words were angry, the tone was soft and almost
gentle. “You've known who he is and where he was all this time, haven't you? Why
didn't you ever tell me?”

Maura looked at him quickly and then away again. She hadn't
looked at him for longer than a few seconds at a time, as if she were trying to
pretend he wasn't really there. “Does it really matter?”

“Yes. Of course it matters! I could have had a father all this
time.”

“You've had your stepfather from the time you were just a
little girl. Chris has always been great to you.”

“True. He's still great to me. Even after the divorce, he never
treated me any differently than he did L-Layla.” Sage's voice wobbled a little
at the name. Her sister, who had died earlier this year, he remembered, and felt
like an ass again for showing up out of the blue like this, dredging up the
past. What would happen if he left town right now and went back to his real life
in the Bay Area and pretended none of this had ever happened?

He couldn't do that, as tempting as he suddenly found the idea.
To a man who had spent his adult life trying to clear through the clutter in his
personal and professional lives, this was all so messy and complicated. But like
it or not, Sage was his daughter. He was here now, and had been given the chance
after all these years to come to know this young woman who bore half his DNA and
who reminded him with almost painful intensity of an innocent part of himself he
had left behind a long time ago.

“A child can never have too many people who love her, Mom. You
taught me that. Why did you keep my father out of our lives all this time? He
didn't have any idea I even existed. If he hadn't come to campus to give a
lecture, both of us would still be in the dark.”

“A lecture?”

“Right. On sustainable design, one of my own passions. It was
wonderful, really inspiring. I went up afterward to talk to him and mentioned I
was from Hope's Crossing. It only took us a minute to figure things out.”

Maura frowned. “Figure what out? That the two of us dated when
I was barely seventeen? How could you both instantly jump from that to thinking
he's your…your sperm donor?”

The term annoyed the hell out of him. “Because neither of us is
stupid. She told me who her mother was. When I asked how old she was, I could
figure out the math. I knew exactly who you were with nine months before her
birthday.”

And ten months before and eleven months and every spare moment
they could get their hands on each other that summer.

“That doesn't prove a thing. You took off. You weren't here,
Jack. How do you know I didn't pick up with the whole basketball team after you
left?” Defiance and something that looked suspiciously like fear flashed in her
eyes.

She had been a virgin their first time together. They both had
been, fumbling and awkward and embarrassed but certain they were deeply in love.
Even if not for the proof sitting beside him, he wouldn't have believed the
smart and loving girl she had been would suddenly turn into the kind of girl who
would sleep around with just anybody.

“Look at her,” he said, gentling his tone. “She has my mother's
nose and my mouth and chin. We can run the DNA, but I don't need to. Sage is my
daughter. For three days, I've just been trying to figure out why the hell you
didn't tell me.”

For the first time, she met his gaze for longer than a few
seconds. “Think about it, Jack,” she finally said. “What difference would it
have made? Would you have come back?”

He couldn't lie, to her or to himself. “No. But you could have
come with me.”

“And lived in some rat-hole apartment while you dropped out of
college and worked three jobs to support us, resenting me the whole time? That
would have been the perfect happily-ever-after every young girl dreams
about.”

“I still had a right to know.”

She suddenly looked tired, defeated, and he saw deep shadows in
her eyes that he sensed had nothing to do with him.

“Well, I guess you know now. Yes. She's your daughter. There
was no one else. There it is. Now you know, and we can be one big, freaking
happy family for the holidays.”

“Mom.” Sage moved forward a little as if to reach for Maura's
hand, but then she checked the motion and slid back into her chair.

Pain etched Maura's features briefly, but she contained it.
“Okay. I should have told you. Give me a break here. I was just a scared kid who
didn't know what to do. You left without a forwarding address, Jack, and didn't
contact me one single time after you left, despite all your promises. What else
was I supposed to do? I finally tracked down your number at Berkeley about four
months after you left and tried to call you. Three times I tried in a week. Once
you were at the library, and twice you were on a date, at least according to
your roommate. I left my number, but you never called me back, which basically
gave me the message loud and clear that you were done with me. What more was I
supposed to do?”

He remembered those first few months at school after that last
horrible fight with his father, after he had opted to leave everything
behind—even the only warm and beautiful thing that had happened to him in Hope's
Crossing since his mother's death.

He remembered the message from Maura his roommate had given him
and the sloppily scrawled phone number. He had stared at it for hours and had
even dialed the number several times, but had always hung up.

She had been a link to a place and a past he had chosen to
leave behind, and he'd ultimately decided it was in both their best interests if
he tried to move on and gave her the chance to do the same.

That she had been pregnant and alone had never once occurred to
him. Lord, he'd been an idiot.

Everything was so damn tangled, he didn't know what to do—which
was the whole reason he had agreed to give Sage a ride back to Hope's Crossing
to talk to Maura before he flew back to San Francisco.

“Look, we're all a little emotional about this tonight. I
didn't realize you were unaware I was bringing Sage back to town.”

That little tidbit also appeared to be news to Maura. “You rode
here with him?” she asked her daughter. “Is something wrong with the Honda?”

“It hasn't been starting the last week or so. I think it just
needs a new battery, but I figured I could drive the pickup while I was home and
catch a ride back to school with one of my friends after the break. I can deal
with the Honda before school starts next semester.”

“You should have called me. I could have driven to Boulder to
pick you up.”

“Sorry, Mom. My car troubles just didn't seem all that
important in light of…everything else.”

“I guess that's understandable.” Maura forced a smile, but he
could clearly see the bone-deep weariness beneath it. What had happened to the
vibrant, alive girl who'd always made him laugh, even when they were both
dealing with family chaos and pain?

“So what now?” she asked. Though she looked at her daughter, he
picked up the subtext of the question, directed at him.
What else are you planning to do to screw up my life?

“I think you should get back to your book club Christmas party
for now. I'm really sorry we interrupted it.”

“Between Ruth and Claire and your grandmother, I'm sure
everything will be fine,” Maura assured her.

Much to his astonished dismay, tears filled Sage's eyes. “But I
know how much you always look forward to the party and the fun you have throwing
it for your friends. It's always the highlight of your Christmas. If anything,
you needed it more than ever this year, and now I've ruined everything for
you.”

Maura gave him a harsh look, as if this rapid-fire emotional
outburst were
his
fault, then she stepped forward to
wrap Sage in her arms.

“It's only a party,” she said. “No big deal. They can all carry
on just fine without me. And if you want the truth, I almost canceled it this
year. I haven't really been in the mood for Christmas.”

This information only seemed to make Sage sniffle harder, and
he watched helplessly while Maura comforted her. Judging by the mood swings and
the emotional outbursts, apparently he had a hell of a lot to learn about having
a nineteen-year-old daughter.

“You're exhausted, honey. I'm sure you've been studying hard
for finals.”

“I haven't been able to sleep much since the lecture,” she
admitted, resting her darker head on her mother's shoulder. He had a feeling the
bond between them would survive the secret Maura had never told her daughter. As
he saw the two of them together, something sharp and achy twisted in his
gut.

He had an almost-grown daughter he suddenly felt responsible
for, and he had no idea what he was supposed to do about it.

“Why don't you take my car home and go back to the house to get
some rest,” Maura said. “I'll catch a ride with your grandmother or with Claire.
We can talk more in the morning when we're both rested and…more calm.”

“I'll take her home,” Jack offered quietly.

“Thank you, but I wouldn't want to put you to any more trouble.
You've done enough by bringing her all this way from Boulder. I'm sure you need
to get back to…wherever you came from.”

In a rush to send him on his way, was she? “Actually, I'm
planning to stay in town a few days.”

“Why?” she asked, green eyes wide with surprise. “You hate
Hope's Crossing.”

“I just found out I have a daughter. I'm not in any particular
hurry to walk back out of her life right away.”

The surprise shifted to something that looked like horror, as
if she had never expected him to genuinely want to be part of their daughter's
world on any ongoing basis. Sage, though, lifted her head from her mother's
shoulder and gave him a watery smile. “That's great. Really great.”

“What do you say we meet for breakfast in the morning? Unless
you have to be here at the bookstore first thing.”

Maybe a night's rest would give them all a little breathing
space and offer him, at least, a chance to regain equilibrium, before any deeper
discussion about the decisions made in the past and where they would go from
here.

“I own the place. I don't have to punch a clock.”

“Which usually means you're here from about eight a.m. to ten
p.m.” Sage gave her mother a teasing look.

“I can meet for breakfast,” Maura said. “Tomorrow I don't have
anything pressing at the store until midmorning.”

“Perfect. Why don't we meet at the Center of Hope Café at
around eight-thirty? We stopped there to grab a bite at the counter before we
walked over here, and I'm happy to say their food is just as good as I
remembered.”

“The café? I don't know if that's the greatest idea. You might
not want to…” she started to say, but her words trailed off.

“Want to what?” he asked.

She seemed to reconsider the subject of any objection on his
part. “No. On second thought, sure. Eight-thirty at the café should work just
fine.”

“Okay. I'll see you then. Shall we go, Sage?”

“Yeah.” She pressed her cheek to her mother's. “I'm still
furious you didn't tell me about my father. I probably will be for a while. But
I still love you and I will forever and ever.”

“Back at you,” Maura said, a catch in her voice that she
quickly cleared away.

“Do you think she'll be okay?” Sage asked him after they walked
through the bookstore and the lightly falling snow to the SUV, which he had
rented what seemed a lifetime ago at the Denver airport before his lecture.

“You would know that better than I do.”

“I thought I knew my mother. We're best friends. I still can't
believe she would keep this huge secret from me.”

He wondered at Maura's reasons for that. Why didn't she tell
Sage? Why didn't she tell
him?
Surely in the years
since he'd left, she could have found some way to tell him about his child.

The idea of it was still overwhelming as hell.

“You'll have to give me directions to your place,” he said
after she fastened her seat belt.

“Oh. Right. We live on Mountain Laurel Road. Do you remember
where that is?”

“I think so.” If he remembered correctly, it was just past
Sweet Laurel Falls, one of his favorite places in town. The falls had been one
of their secret rendezvous points. Why he should remember that right now, he had
no idea. “I know the general direction, anyway. Be sure to tell me if I start to
head off course.”

Traffic was busier than he expected as he drove through Hope's
Crossing with the wipers beating back the falling snow. He hardly recognized the
downtown. When he had lived here, many of these storefronts had been empty or
had housed businesses that barely survived on the margin. Now trendy
restaurants, bustling bars catering to tourists and boutiques with elegant
holiday window displays seemed to jostle for space.

Some of the historic buildings were still there, but he could
see new buildings as well. Much to his surprise, some faction in town had
apparently made an effort to keep the town's historic flavor, even among the new
developments. Instead of a modern hodgepodge of architectural styles that would
be jarring and unpleasant with the mountain grandeur surrounding the town, it
looked as if restrictions had been enacted to require strict adherence to
building codes. Even in the few strip-mall-type developments they passed with
pizza places, frozen yogurt shops and fast-food places that might appeal to
tourists, the buildings had cedar-shake roofs and no flashy signage to jar with
the setting.