Rachel's Folly (4 page)

Dr. Wilkinson turned to look straight at his daughter. “I’m so proud of you, darling. The only thing I want is for you to be happy. It’s obvious Jack makes you happy and if you love him and he loves you, well then, what more is there to say?” He paused and sighed. “I only wish your mother could have been here.” He raised his glass in the couple’s direction. “Welcome to the family, Jack. Now please get busy and start making me lots of grandchildren.”

The group started laughing, clapping and cheering.

“Hear, hear!” Edward said loudly.

Dr. Wilkinson was just about to sit when he hesitated and said, “Oh, I realize this isn’t a typical rehearsal dinner, but I would be most pleased if the maid of honor would stand and say a few words to her best friend on this special night. I know it would mean the world to Elena.”

Rachel’s eyes widened. She suddenly went deathly cold and felt her body break out in a sweat. Everybody turned to look at her. The letter on her face was now a deep red. She forced herself to smile and grudgingly stood up.

“I … I’m, um, I’m really not prepared.” She held out her wine glass. “But I’ll see what I can do … um.” She was at a complete loss for words. She cleared her throat. “I’ve known Elena almost all my life. She’s the sister I never had. Even though she always had more than we did growing up, she always made me feel … she’s … um, she’s not only responsible for helping me finish college, she helped me realize that I also wanted to help people.”
You’re a fraud
was the sentence that kept going through Rachel’s mind. She felt a bead of sweat streaming down her forehead. “Elena was the one who introduced me to Edward.” Rachel unintentionally glanced at Jack and couldn’t believe this was actually happening. “Uh, um, she’s always been there for me … and even though she’s younger than I am, I’ve always looked up to her.” Rachel froze. She looked at Elena who was gazing at her, and she could barely go on. “I love you, El. Congratulations.”

Rachel quickly sat down. Everybody clapped, markedly less enthusiastically than before.

“That was … interesting,” Edward said to her in a low voice.

“We’ve got to get out of here. I really don’t feel well.”

“Alright, let’s say our goodbyes so we can make our exit.”

After they excused themselves, they made their way to the parking lot. Edward helped Rachel into the car and closed the door behind her. As he walked around the front to the driver’s side, he made his usual quick examination of the vehicle to make sure it hadn’t been scratched, dinged, or pooped on by some uncouth bird. He did this every time he got into this car. It was his ritual. He only brought the car out on special occasions. It was a black 2000 Boxster S. The soft top was still jet black, as the car had never spent a night outdoors or very much time in the blistering Texas sun. It had less than 10,000 miles on it, and was in mint condition despite the fact that it was ten years old.

Rachel sank in her seat and peered out the window into the darkness. She was humiliated by her bungling speech and still couldn’t understand how Jack could be so indifferent towards her. She had been so worried about being in the same room with him, which now seemed ridiculous. He had ignored her entirely.

Edward started the engine and looked over at her. “Hey, are you going to be okay? What’s going on?”

“Huh?” She turned to meet his gaze.

“Are you alright?”

“Oh, yeah. It must have been something I drank or ate last night.”

“Don’t worry about it. Everyone was so consumed by the wedding I’m sure no one cared about how bad your speech was. You really weren’t prepared, so you have an excuse.”

“I’m not thinking about that. I just hope I feel better tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin things for Elena.”

“You’ll be fine. Take a long bath. I’ll make you some hot tea when we get home.”

Rachel looked into her husband’s eyes, a heavy sense of guilt intensifying inside her. “Thanks, Ed,” she said, her eyes tearing up.

“For what?”

“For being so good to me.”

He gave her a half-smile and shifted gears.

She put her hand on his shoulder and examined him. His straight masculine nose. The sweet dimple in his chin. His hair was more gray now than brown, but like most men, it only made him more handsome. She smirked thinking about how oblivious he was to the way the nurses fawned over him at the hospital. They would frequently tell her how lucky she was. And she was lucky. “I mean it. I don’t say it enough. I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate everything you do for me and Jacob,” she said, trying not to give away just how sad she was.

RACHEL MANAGED
TO GET
in about four hours of sleep that night, which was an improvement. She awoke to the smell of pancakes and bacon coming from the kitchen. She looked at the clock and figured Edward, Ben and Jacob had probably been awake for about half an hour. It didn’t matter how late Jacob went to sleep, he always woke up around eight o’clock in the morning.

She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the wedding. The ceremony was at two, but since she was in the wedding party, she was supposed to be there by eleven. She wondered what would happen if she told Elena what she had done with her fiancé on her sofa only forty-eight hours ago. The irony was that as long as they had known each other, Elena and Rachel had never been interested in the same guy. They had completely different taste in men, which made the current situation even more inconceivable. She knew she had to tell Elena, who in many ways knew Rachel better than anyone else.

They became best friends in grade school, at an expensive private school that Ben and Rachel had been lucky to attend for a few years. Their father was the head groundskeeper there and therefore, qualified for a hugely discounted tuition. After his death, Rachel and Ben transferred to public school, but Elena and Rachel remained close until she graduated high school. They lost touch, as many friends do, when Rachel went off to college, then reconnected a few years later when Elena finished medical school and began her residency in Texas. They didn’t see each other as much now that Rachel was married and had Jacob, and Elena was busy working at the clinic, but they made a point to get together at least a few times a year.

Rachel struggled to come up with a way to confess to Elena. She couldn’t even say the words in her head. She could hardly believe it herself. And what about Edward? Could he forgive her? Maybe. But she knew it would change everything. Or maybe he would try to forgive her, but wouldn’t be able to get over it and end up divorcing her. How could either Edward or Elena forgive her if she couldn’t forgive herself? No, she wouldn’t be able to say anything, at least not now.

“Good morning, Mommy,” Jacob said as he opened the bedroom door and ran up to Rachel’s bedside wearing his favorite Spiderman pajamas. “Do you want some pancakes?”

“Good morning, sweetie. Come here, give me a kiss.” She grabbed Jacob and pulled him into bed with her. “Did you make pancakes?”

“Daddy and Uncle Ben did. Uncle Ben made black pancakes and Daddy threw them away and then Daddy made brown pancakes. I just watched.”

“Okay, let me get up, and I’ll join you guys for breakfast.”

Rachel sat up and twisted her hair into a loose knot, securing it with a hairclip she left on her nightstand. She went to her closet and pulled out her white terry cloth robe, slipped on her house slippers, then made her way to the kitchen. Edward was at the stove pouring the bacon grease into a glass jar. Ben was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, reading the Sunday newspaper. He bent the corner of his paper and peered at Rachel over his reading glasses.

“Hey.”

“Morning, guys”

“How you feeling?” Edward asked. “We tried not to make too much noise.”

“It’s okay, I was already awake. I feel a little better, but I just realized I’m going to need a ride to Dr. Wilkinson’s house.”

“I’ll drop you off and then come back to pick up Ben and Jacob,” Edward said.

“Oh, do me a favor,” Ben said to Edward, “bring me a Big Red on your way back.”

“Ugh.” Rachel wrinkled her nose in disgust. “It’s so bad for you,” she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“You can’t get it in Maine,” Ben said without looking up from the paper. “I only drink it when I’m here. It’s good stuff.” Then, he folded the newspaper and set it aside. “Besides, it’s my last full day here. I have to make the most of it.” He grabbed a piece of bacon and popped it into his mouth.

The thought of Ben leaving made Rachel’s chest tighten. She took a deep breath and went to sit next to him. If anyone truly had unconditional love for her, it was her son Jacob and Ben. She knew once he left, she would have to deal with things on her own.

* * *

Edward and Rachel pulled up to Dr. Wilkinson’s house where there was a buzz of activity outside. Some people were busy decorating the entrance with huge, beautiful floral arrangements of white roses. Others were trimming the hedges and cleaning the windows. The house was a hectic sight to behold with servants, caterers, musicians, photographers and wedding coordinators doing what they probably did at least a few times each weekend.

“I’ll be back at one-thirty,” Edward said, watching Rachel take off her seatbelt. “Call me if you forgot something.” Rachel smiled and gave him a quick kiss before she got out of the SUV and retrieved her dress and the rest of her things from the back seat. The house was a Spanish-style, two-story, white stucco structure built in 1941 and nestled in Tarrytown, also known as “Old Austin.” It was an established neighborhood with meticulously maintained homes surrounded by lush foliage from old shade trees; a secluded, peaceful sanctuary from the bustling urban cityscape.

Rachel walked past the teams of busy people and into the house. Inside, it looked and smelled glorious. There were flowers everywhere. The grand double staircase was wrapped in deep green ivy and tiny white lilies. The scent of sweet pipe tobacco filled the foyer. It was a smell that instantly made her feel like a child again. She remembered vividly playing with Elena in this house when they were young. They would dress in her mother’s old formal gowns and pretend they were at a fancy tea party. Mrs. Wilkinson let them use her old jewelry and fine china. They would sit in the dining room, having filled the seats with dolls and stuffed animals, and play for hours. Looking up, Rachel noticed a large portrait of a young Mrs. Wilkinson at the top of the stairs. Her smile was warm and the resemblance to Elena was unmistakable. Rachel recalled all those sleepovers when Elena’s mother would make them hot chocolate and tell them elaborate and fantastic stories of what it had been like as a little girl growing up in Mexico. Rachel always wished she could have lived in this house, with this family. It was such a nurturing home.

Rachel walked up the stairs and knocked at Elena’s door before letting herself in.

Elena sat at her old vanity dresser, having her makeup applied by a woman Rachel had never met. Elena’s wedding gown hung on a dressing screen to the right. It was a simple, strapless, long, white dress. It was beautiful.

“Hi Rachel, this is Jeanette. She can get started with your makeup as soon as she’s done with mine. You can hang your dress right there.” Elena pointed to the bathroom door.

Jeanette was a young, curvaceous woman with dark, olive skin and brown hair with brassy, blond highlights. She wore tight leggings and an animal print top. She had on a mass of gold bracelets and big gold earrings. She had a joyful nature about her and hummed quietly as she worked on Elena’s face.
I hope she doesn’t paint on the same amount of lip liner onto Elena as she’s wearing
, Rachel thought. She was pretty sure Elena had met Jeanette through Elena’s work at the clinic. That was the thing about Elena: she could have hired the most expensive makeup artist from Neiman Marcus or Saks Fifth Avenue, but she preferred to hire people she met through her work. It was her nature. One of Rachel’s favorite memories of Elena was when they were teenagers and a fierce cold snap had come through Texas. The temperature had fallen into the teens. The entire city shut down. They had been watching the local news on TV and learned that some of the city’s homeless were refusing to go to shelters. Elena desperately wanted to do something to help. She decided to make a big batch of homemade soup, and Rachel helped her put it into disposable containers. Then she and Rachel, with the help of Mrs. Wilkinson, drove around looking for homeless people downtown and gave them a warm meal.

Rachel smiled at Jeanette and said, “It’s nice to meet you,” then hung up her dress and asked Elena how she was feeling.

“Really nervous, but good. I miss my mom so much right now.”

Rachel’s eyes softened. “I know. She would have been so happy for you.” She wondered what Mrs. Wilkinson would have thought of her if she knew that, only two days ago, she had slept with the man her daughter was about to marry.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” Elena said, keeping her head still for Jeanette but looking at Rachel in the mirror.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be.”

Rachel felt as if she were living in an alternate universe. She should be happy for Elena. She should be here supporting her on this special day. Instead, she was here as the ultimate impostor. She no longer knew herself. How could everything change so quickly? How on earth could this be happening?

When Jeanette finished applying Elena’s makeup, Elena stood and turned around to face Rachel. Unlike the way Jeanette had applied her own makeup, Elena’s was soft and natural looking. She looked angelic. Her chestnut brown hair was pulled up tight, her big, green eyes looked deep, and her fair skin was flawless like porcelain.

“You are stunning,” Rachel said almost unconsciously as she stared into Elena’s eyes.

Elena smiled, and then her eyes began to water.

“
Ay, Dios mío
. Don’t start crying, Doctor, or you’ll mess up your makeup,” Jeanette said, gently touching the corners of Elena’s eyes with a tissue.

Elena’s smile grew wider. “Now help me into my veil and dress and get your makeup done. Be downstairs in thirty minutes so we can take the pictures.”

Pictures.
Wonderful
, Rachel thought.
A permanent reminder of the fraud I’ve become.

* * *

Rachel wore a simple, pale yellow chiffon dress with spaghetti straps. Elena’s cousins, the other two bridesmaids, wore dresses similar to hers. The only thing that really set Rachel apart from the other bridesmaids was her flower bouquet, which was nearly twice the size of theirs.

When Rachel came down the stairs, the house was more chaotic than before. There was a circus of people moving from here to there, each with their own agenda. After she searched the house, she eventually found Elena in the backyard with her father and cousins. The photographer was waiting impatiently next to them, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and checking his watch. The yard had been transformed into a beautiful sight, with huge white floral arrangements and white canopies and tables. The wedding coordinator had made three rows of white wooden folding chairs, with one long aisle down the middle that flowed to a white, wooden altar wrapped in the same type of ivy and lilies that spiraled the staircase inside. The huge, mature oak trees filtered the sun majestically. There were spots of sunlight shining through the branches and just a slight breeze in the air that smelled of roses and lobster bisque.

“My, you look lovely,” Dr. Wilkinson said to Rachel as he reached out to hug her.

“Dr. Wilkinson, the house is amazing. Mrs. Wilkinson would be so impressed by all these beautiful lilies,” she said, looking into his cheery eyes.

“Yes, well,” Dr. Wilkinson carried on with a wistful smile. “She is especially missed today. But I know she’s here with us in spirit. Now come ladies, let’s get on with it before the photographer has an anxiety attack.”

They posed for pictures in various settings, inside and out; on the staircase, in the formal living room, in the foyer, in front of the house, and in the backyard. The guests started arriving and Elena was being a good hostess by receiving them graciously. Rachel stood patiently behind her and greeted them politely as Elena made the introductions.

“Aren’t you supposed to be hidden away somewhere until the ceremony?” asked a large older woman in a turquoise blue dress.

“Oh, I’m not superstitious that way. I’d much rather be here with my father and all of you than hiding away in my room. Besides, Jack’s supposed to call me before he gets here. That’s when I’ll go into a brief seclusion,” Elena said with a smile.

It was then that Rachel excused herself and went upstairs to Elena’s room. The thought of Jack made her queasy. The scarlet letter on her face was starting to make its appearance again, and hiding away sounded like a good idea. She needed some time to pull herself together. Once inside Elena’s room, she walked over to the window and looked out onto the backyard. She could see the guests moving around, no doubt commenting on how beautiful the house looked, how beautiful Elena was, how delicious the food smelled. She had been there, staring out the window for about ten minutes when someone knocked at the door.

“Yes?”

The door creaked open as Ben popped his head in. “I thought I might find you in here. It’s so bizarre to be in this house again after all these years. I can’t believe how it looks exactly the same. I feel like I’m twelve years old. Did you see Rosa? She’s
still
their housekeeper! She nearly fainted when I told her who I was.” He stood at the door, wearing a dark suit, fully shaven and sporting his best attempt at neatly combed hair.

Rachel looked at him solemnly.

“Aren’t you coming down?” he asked. His smile faded. “Something wrong?”

“Can you come in and shut the door?”

“Sure,” he said, closing the door behind him. “What’s going on?” He seemed even larger than usual in the small bedroom.

Rachel looked at the floor. She didn’t know how to say it. “I….” she stammered, gulping in a quick breath. She forced herself to just say it. “I slept with Jack.”

There was silence as the words fell flat in the room. She had thought for sure when she finally confessed to someone she would feel relieved, but she didn’t. She only felt disgraced.

Ben stood motionless with a blank look on his face. She figured he wanted to ask if she was kidding, but the severe expression she wore said she was anything but. He squinted. “What exactly are you saying?”

“Thursday, after the dinner party, after the dance club, he drove me home and it … just happened.”

Ben’s brow darkened. He frowned and sat down on the bed. Rachel watched him intently and started biting her manicured fingernail. It was disturbingly quiet in the room for what felt like an hour.