As pain surges through my body, I’m reminded of this very thing. Death would be better than this, but he won’t end me. I’m too important to his master plan. I didn’t want him to succeed, but as the months come and go in a blur of hurt and punishment, I feel myself doing the one thing I never wanted.
Breaking. Bending to his will.
On that fateful night I received my powers from the Heavens, when my Nana O told me that I was destined for great things, a higher purpose in this life, she didn’t mean this. She couldn’t have imagined that this would be my fate.
I scream as the man who is supposed to love me pushes a long, steaming hot, metal rod into my stomach. The smell of my burning flesh enters my nostrils and pain floods every cell of my body. I wait, hoping for relief, but even as he removes the rod, it doesn’t come. If anything, it gets worse, more intense. The worst part of all of this is he can do this for the rest of eternity if he chooses. Death will never come for me.
No, Nana O could have never meant this.
IAN PULLS ME ONTO
his lap, wrapping his arm protectively around me, as any mate should do. He even growls as one of the other wolves looks my way appraisingly. He should get an Oscar for his stellar performance. This one, though, is definitely above and beyond his call of duty. Nothing like my fake mate taking it to another level in order to impress.
Alpha Ty and his Beta, Gregor, sit at the long, sleek wooden table in the conference room. I call him Alpha because father is too nice of a name for him. The pack enforcers are seated around the table as well, as I sit with Ian off to the side by the far wall. Here, but not here. Observing, but not part of the meeting. Not that I want to be. I’d love to be far away from this place, but that’s not an option for me.
A mediator from the Wolf Council, which Alpha pays off, sits at the head of the table to preside over this sham of a meeting. One to supposedly create an alliance between the two packs, but it’s all a big façade. Nothing is as it seems, exactly like my life.
The Ren Pack sits on the other side of the table, assessing each of our wolves, eyeing them with curiosity and suspicion. They should. Our Alpha has been calling meetings like this for the past couple of weeks, meetings that have only one conclusion—deaths, and none from our pack.
Wolf packs are slowly dwindling, becoming non-existent, because our Alpha is taking out the highest wolves from each pack. While he’s here, the rest of the pack is at the Rens’ compound, completely wiping them out, killing everyone there. Leaving no one to report what my Alpha is doing. No one to warn others. Our kind is slowly meeting its demise, all at the hands of
him
.
But that’s what he wants. To rule. Have power. All it is, is greed plain and simple.
Alpha has always been power hungry, but only to the point of being the pack’s alpha. Never, while I was growing up, did he ever give any indication that being Alpha wasn’t enough. He was always around, teaching and prepping me for whatever my future might hold, and he always kept a close eye on me. He’s made sure that I didn’t stray too far from the pack. I thought that it was because he loved me. He was protecting me from all the bad in the world. But I was mistaken. Horribly so.
I sniff the air and notice a subtle shift from light and fresh to dark and musty. One of our wolves is seated next to the Ren alpha, his lip twitching, his nostrils flaring in and out. Low growls rumble through the air around us, thickening the tension in the space. I lick my lips and taste the change in the room. It’s as if the once-breezy climate has swirled into a thunderstorm ready to erupt, and the warning reverberates through my body.
My pathetic job is to use my gift, my ability to listen to other wolves’ thoughts, to find out if the Ren pack has reinforcements outside. Or if they even have a clue that they are about to be obliterated. Alpha looks over to me, brows raised expectantly. With a simple shake of my head, I silently feed him the answer he seeks. None of the other members of their pack are waiting outside; none of the men back at their home base have contacted anyone here for help, which means our other enforcers are cleaning up there. This is the moment I always dread. Each time I’m forced to do this, it’s a hard, black strike against my immortal soul. The darkness claws at my insides, but I can’t escape it. It’s a mark that can never be erased. A scar that will never heal. I should never have been put in this position. Ever. I fear there will never come a time when I can come back from it.
“Challenge,” Alpha calls out, and arrogance and smugness drip from that one little word. Inside the other Alpha’s head is a mix of surprise and disdain, but no fear. Never show fear, that’s what Alphas do. “Outside,” Alpha declares, after a bit of a stare down.
They file out, leaving me alone with Ian and the Councilor. If we are anywhere outside of the grounds of our pack, Ian or someone is with me to watch my every move, like I’d even try to escape. I’ve thought about it, don’t get me wrong, but there is no way out. The chains are too tight around my neck, tethering me to his will.
I’d rather be dead.
This is my life, my pathetic, miserable, unfulfilled eternity of life. I need to learn how to survive it because he told me he’d never allow me the peace of death. So, instead I am
mated
to someone who really can’t stand me and have learned to accept being a pawn for Alpha and the pack. It’s either survive and do as I’m told or… I shake my head from the thought as goosebumps rise on my skin. I can’t go back there, I won’t.
I say nothing as I sit, quietly waiting for it to all be over so we can go back home. I use the term
home
loosely. I’m required to stay with Ian on my parents’ level of the main house. Ian and I share the same bed nightly and attend all pack functions together, including meal times. All packs believe that we are actually mates. I shake my head at the thought.
“I said I’d do it.” My voice comes out raspy because my throat is so damn dry. I can’t remember the last time I had water. My entire body aches, even my fingernails and the ends of my hair. It’s been so long. So damn long.
“Take this.” My father holds out a large yellow and orange pill. I stare at it, willing it to disappear. I just know that it’s poison, but not the kind to kill me, the kind to torture me. “I said take it,” he growls, less patient than a few minutes before.
I’ve already decided my fate. With a shaky hand, I reach out and take the pill from his outstretched one, careful not to touch his skin. He holds out a bottle of water and I take it hungrily.
“No!” he barks as I start unscrewing the lid, and I freeze. “The pill first, then you can drink the rest.” I lift the pill to my dry, cracked lips, and place it on my sandpaper-like tongue. I press the water to my mouth and try to swallow the pill. I gag as it gets stuck in my throat, cutting off my air supply. “You stupid female. Drink!” he screams, and I do, dislodging the pill from my throat. I stare at him with the water still in my hand. I long to actually drink it, just to feel it going down my throat. That last sip didn’t feel like anything but more pain. “What are you waiting for? Drink.”
I lift the bottle with both of my trembling hands, afraid that I may drop it. I can’t waste any of this water. I don’t have any idea when I will get more and dehydration is eating at me. I down the contents in a hurried rush, my stomach churning with it. Way too much, way too fast. I fear that everything I just drank is coming up hard.
“You do not throw up,” he orders and I choke down the bile forming in my throat. Please stay down, please stay down.
He leaves the room, only to come back a few hours later. I pray this will be the time that he lets me free. “You want to know what you just swallowed?” I don’t want to know actually, but it is not really a question; he’ll tell me anyway. “You now have a mate. With my pack. That pill will bind your scent to his, ensuring you
smell
like mates, and no one will dispute it. Now you can never fucking leave.”
I want to cry, sob, and scream. I want to throw something at this monster. A mate. So, I’m stuck here. This can’t be true. It just can’t.
“Don’t fight it, Zara. It’s done,” he says before turning and leaving the room again. I fall to the floor and curl into a ball, wrapping my arms around my legs. No…just no.
It’s utterly disgusting the torture that Alpha continues to dole out on a daily basis. Like all of the other shit that he did to me wasn’t enough.
The Councilor’s eyes focus on us as Ian’s hand trails up and down my thigh. I feel nothing. No spark. No want. No trembles. No tingles in regions that should have them. Ian’s hot—longish blond hair, deep brown eyes, muscular frame—but he doesn’t do anything for me. His smell is totally wrong and turns my stomach with each sniff. It isn’t even slightly enticing, and the farther his hand goes up the more I want to vomit. Neither Ian nor I can smell the mating, just everyone else around us.
I push my wolf back down as she whines, shaking her head in despair. Aware of the Councilor’s watchful eyes, I don’t want him to sense the turmoil rolling around inside of me. My wolf is still very much present, but she has gone into a state of hibernation, only waking when it’s necessary. Like at one of these meetings or when I’m required to shift with the pack. Other than that, I don’t hear a thought or feel a movement from her. She only sleeps.
‘Damn she’s hot.’
The Councilor has no idea that I can hear his internal dialogue. ‘
What I wouldn’t give to fuck her.’
I clench my hands into fists, trying to block out his thoughts, but they keep coming at me, each one dirtier than the last.
‘I’d bend her over, ass up high, face down, and pound that pussy until she howls.’
My stomach rolls and vomit climbs up my throat. I choke it down. My only saving grace is that he can’t utter a word out loud. If he did, Ian would have the right to rip out his throat. The bastard would do it too, just because he can.
‘Done,’
I hear Alpha voice inside my head as he speaks the same ones to Gregor. Since learning of my
gift,
as he calls it, I’ve learned how to tune in to one being and shut out the others around me. I’ve become so adept at hearing people that they don’t even need to be in the same room for me to know what they are thinking. It comes and with Alpha, it’s as if he has a direct link to me. Even hearing his thoughts, before he addresses anyone as he speaks.
Honestly, I can’t stand it, or him for that matter.
“It’s done. Let’s go.” I rise from Ian’s lap, brush his hand off me, and move toward the door. Ian grabs my hand as I go. Gotta keep up pretenses, right? I don’t fight it because…what’s the use? I’m stuck.
The copper smell of blood infiltrates my nostrils as I step outside and walk through the massacred wolves lying on the ground. All six that were in the room are torn to shreds. Alpha and Gregor slip on their shirts and we head to the black SUV waiting for us. Clean up is for the enforcers to deal with later.
I climb into the very back, Ian by my side. Alpha and Gregor sit in the middle row while two enforcers take the front. I stare out the window, not saying a word, only here physically. I shut down all thoughts from others and try to find some kind of solace, but it doesn’t come.
“You did good, girl.” Alpha’s praises mean shit to me. They are nothing but a pat on his back for another task done dutifully by me. I stopped caring the moment more wanting power outranked taking care of his family, his daughter. The coldness in his eyes that first time I rejected his plan still haunts me.
“Daddy, we can’t do this,” I plead, tears streaming down my face and crashing to the cold floor beneath me. I can’t take someone’s life just for the hell of it.
“You’ll do what I fucking say or you’ll stay in there,” he barks, and my hands grip the metal slats of the cage he locked me in moments before. The space is small, and all I can do is either sit or curl in a ball. Wolves are not made to be confined. We are born to be free, roam free. This…this can’t be happening.
“Why do you want to hurt the others? We have been so happy for so long.” I appeal to his more human side, or at least I try. In all my years, he’s never shown me this side of him. Angry, menacing, cold.
“You’ve no idea what is going to happen, but I do. You’ll work for me so it doesn’t. You will do as I say or you’ll remain locked in here.”
A low whimper escapes my throat. Where’s my mom, surely she wouldn’t let him cage me up like this. Would she? And my brother? Where is he?
“Daddy, please,” I beg, unable to stop the sobs this time, and my chest constricts with the thought of him leaving me like this. He can’t.
“You made your bed.” He turns off the light in the small basement room and walks out of the door, locking it behind him. Panic hits me like a boulder to the gut. No, please no.
I learned quickly that disobeying him would not be tolerated. I never in a million years would have thought my father could allow such deep greed to overtake him. That his pack would now fear him instead of respect him. I don’t know him at all. The man I loved when I was a pup is dead and has been since I revealed my power. The only connection I have to this wolf in the vehicle with me is that he is my Alpha. Just as the man I once knew is dead, so is a piece of me. A part of me died inside that cage. I did what I could, but I couldn’t stay locked in there.