Quest (21 page)

With a nod of approval, she sank to her knees. 'It’ll do very well, Katia, all except the entrance, which is too large. I shall need to set watch and ward over it. But after that, I'm afraid I shall be able to do no more. I shall have to go instantly into the Discipline of Renewal. And I think that it will take several days this time. Child, it's a heavy burden to put on you. Do you think you can manage? Can you look after Lord Davred until I recover?' She was swaying with dizziness as she spoke.

'Of course. But Herra, won't it be dangerous for you? A Renewal is difficult at any time. You'll have no one to help you, no Healer. You shouldn't . . . '

QUEST Shannah Jay 76

'I must. I shall manage, child. My body knows the way by now. Just leave me to awaken in my own time. On no account try to rouse me.'

'No, Herra.' Katia was thinking rapidly. 'I must be able to leave the cave, though.'

'Yes.' Herra studied the entrance thoughtfully. 'I can leave you a small exit over there. Will that do? You'll have to crawl in and out, but you must be able to go out to look for food. You will be careful, won't you? You mustn't be seen and - Katia, listen, you must kil , if necessary, to protect Lord Davred.'

Davred looked up. 'I won't have that! I know how you feel about killing. I'm not worth it.'

'Knowing how we feel, you may therefore judge your worth to us, Lord, if we're prepared to face the thought of killing for your sake. We've worked for twenty thousand years on our Quest. Now that you're here, one of our Key Lives, this time must not pass unfruitfully. In your children's children lie the hopes of our world.'

'Do you regard me as an animal to breed from?'

She managed a tired rasp of a chuckle. 'Oh no, Lord Davred. That wil be only one of your duties. We shall work you hard, I'm afraid. Now, I
must
rest . . . ' With slow, painful gestures, she laid wards across the cave mouth till nearly all of it was covered by the slightly-flickering screen. Then she embraced both Katia and Davred before lying down.

Within minutes, her breathing had slowed to almost nothing, and her face had become a tranquil mask.

'Shouldn't we . . . cover her with something?'

'No, Lord. She won't feel the cold. She must renew her powers. We've had to call on them too many times in the past few days.'

'What exactly did she do to the entrance, Katia?'

'She laid wards across it. Look, you can see the barrier flickering from time to time. From outside, the cave will appear empty, and those approaching it will have a compulsion to turn away.'

'I can't believe that's possible with only the powers of the mind.'

'Much is possible, but the cost is heavy. She couldn't have gone much further today without killing herself.'

'May I tell my people of your skills? It will make a difference to what they feel about this planet.'

'Surely, Lord, that is for you to decide. Will . . . ' she fumbled for words, 'the . . . the other Gods not know these things already?'

'There are no Gods up there, Katia, just people like me. We - they live in a - a sort of lifeship, one as big as a whole village.'

'Why?'

'To study other worlds, to see how other people live. This world of yours is round, like a ball . . . '

'I know. Herra told me.'

'How in the name of infinity could she have known that?'

'It's in the Archives, Lord. We can't hope to remember everything, so we record such things carefully. Please continue.'

'Wel , this world is a bal , which is - floating in a vast space, and there's no air in the space, so we - my people must live inside something and provide their own air and food.'

'Would it not be easier for them to go down to the worlds they wish to study and live among the people there? Then they would have as much air and food as they needed. And surely they would learn more that way?'

'Their presence would change the way the people lived - and not always for the better. It's been found best to let people live in their own way until they've learnt to make - er - flying ships of their own. Then they can fly up from their world to meet us on more equal terms.'

QUEST Shannah Jay 77

Her head on one side, Katia considered this. 'Hmm. So, your people aren't Gods, just scholars?'

'No! We're definitely not Gods.' An image of Robler in a rage prompted him to say, 'Don't ever believe them if they tell you they're Gods. They are
not
.'

'No, but Herra says
you
are our Brother's Manifestation come down among us.'

He shook his head. 'I let you believe that so that I could study your ways without upsetting you.' He saw the shock on her face and added quickly, 'I'm sorry. I meant you no harm. But my people don't believe in the existence of Gods.'

She sat thinking for a moment, then shook her head decidedly. 'Then they're wrong. Manifestations of our God have visited our world several times. That too is described in detail in our Archives. Herra showed me.'

'Perhaps they were just space travellers like me?'

‘No. Some weren't formed as we are. One was - the Archives say that the Lord Terraccalliss was covered in golden fur - and that he had wings. And that's how he's shown on the statue of the God.'

Davred looked at her in breathless excitement. 'It - he sounds like one of the Precursors. My people have seen traces of them on other planets. But they aren't Gods, either, Katia, just another sort of creature - a very advanced sort, we think. Some of them were definitely winged.'

'The Manifestations of our God have borne several different forms, Lord. Not just like the Lord Terraccalliss, who was the winged one. You'll see their images in our temple. The statue shows them clearly. And there's still darkness behind the statue, where other Manifestations lie hidden, waiting for their time. One has formed recently in your likeness.'

'It can't have!'

'It is. I've seen it. It's very like you.'

'Someone must be doing it.'

She was shocked and it showed in her face. 'No one would touch the statue of the God. And even if they wanted to, no one
could
touch it. Lord Davred, I think the images must have been true Manifestations of the God, for it was they who set our feet on the Path of Wisdom long ago, when the world was young. No one but a God could do that. When Herra recovers, ask her to tell you about it. I don't know enough to explain it to you properly. I'm still learning myself.'

She nodded her head, the argument settled to her satisfaction, then smiled at him. 'If Herra has said that are a Manifestation of the God, then that's what you are, believe me. You're our Lord Davred, whether you chose it or not. I didn’t choose to become a Sister. It just – happens.'

'I'm not worthy. I haven't half your skills, let alone your Gifts.'

She stiffened. Was it possible that she would be the only witness to his Triple Denial? She spoke careful y. 'I said that, Lord, when I was
chosen
to be a Sister.'

'Well, you couldn't have meant it more than I do! What if I let you down? You Sisters have worked so patiently for so long. All my skills depend upon machines. You couldn't choose anyone less suitable.'

'
Choose
,' she said, gently correcting the way he pronounced the word. The look she gave him was filled with understanding. 'I think one can only follow the path of life to the best of one's ability, Lord. No one is, or can be, perfect.'

'But you've been training for the Quest since childhood! I don't even know your language properly. I'll just be a liability to you. I can't bear the thought of letting you down. I'm so inadequate.'

Three times. Her face was radiant. 'No. You
are
the one, Lord. You've just given the Proof of Worthiness. Our leaders never choose to lead. Anyone who seeks power is a danger to the community. Three times now you've denied your worthiness, as I shall bear witness in the Circle. We cal it the Triple Denial. Lord, you are indeed
chosen
by the God to dwell among us in his name.'

He shook his head wearily, as if he didn’t have the strength to argue. She saw how tired he was and let the matter
QUEST Shannah Jay 78

drop. 'Shall I get you a drink now, Lord? There's a spring of sweet water at the back of the cave. In fact, why not soak your leg in it for a while? That would further ease the pain. I'm afraid I don't possess Herra's skil as a Healer, but I think I can ease the pain a little.' She laid a hand upon his leg and concentrated. Very gently she drew her hand along it and could feel him relaxing beneath her touch.

'There. That's all I can do. Was it any help?'

'Indeed it was. Katia, how did you do that? Our healers work with machinery. And they don't succeed as well as you do.'

'It's a Gift - but one which must be developed and honed over many years.' Shyly she added, 'That's the first time I've ever tried it. The Gift isn't strong within me yet, but it's there, ripening. Oh, those Gifts are such a joy to us!'

She looked so beautiful and radiant that his heart lurched. He had never seen a woman like her, with the direct sunny innocence of a child, yet behind it the wisdom of an adult.

'Come, Lord Davred.' She helped him to the rear of the cave and produced a soft cuplike object, made of woven material, but waterproof. When he’d drunk, she helped him to suspend his leg for a while in the pool that had formed below the spring, laughing as he tried to get comfortable.

'Lean against me, Lord.'

'The water’s so cold!'

'Just a little longer, then you shall rest.'

When he was lying down again on a special airmat from his pack, he gestured to the space beside him. 'Come and share my comforts, Katia.'

'No, Lord. It wouldn’t be seemly.'

'I wasn't intending to touch you!'

She smiled to take the sting from her words. 'It really wouldn't be right, Lord. Besides, we're trained to adjust our bodies to heat and cold - within certain limits, of course. I shall be comfortable enough here on my own blanket.' She found a level place between him and Herra, and sank down, cross-legged. 'We should try to sleep, I think. We're both tired. I don't dare go out to hunt for food today, because they'll be combing the woods for us. Shall I teach you one of our minor Disciplines, that of Sleep, Lord?'

He was diverted, as she had hoped he would be. 'Do you have a Discipline for everything?'

'Not for everything, but one should have control over one's own body, should one not? Else how is one better than an animal? See, this is the way to breathe . . . '

He fel asleep in the middle of her instruction and she smiled. Most novices did that at first. It made the lessons occasions of great hilarity. Still, he was very apt at learning. She stared at him thoughtfully, her expression unguarded and tender. She was attracted to him, and he to her. Why try to deny that? But it would have been dangerous to share his mat. Who knew where that might have led? She was not ready yet for intimacy with a man. She hadn’t even begun to come to terms with her own Gifts. She wished Herra were awake, to take charge of things.

Katia guided her own body rhythms into a light sleep. More she dared not allow herself, for there was still that corner of the entrance unprotected, and the woods were full of Benner's men.

It was night when she awoke. Only one of the moons had risen, but its light was strong enough to show her that Lord Davred was awake too, and that he was suffering some discomfort.

'Is anything wrong, Lord?'

'No. The moon woke me, I think, or perhaps an animal calling. Do you have dangerous animals on Sunrise? I'm ashamed at how little I remember of the general ecology of the planet. I went through the usual briefing before I came here, but I've forgotten most of it. I was concentrating on the Sisterhood.'

She ignored the words she didn’t understand and responded to those she did. 'There are many small animals, but
QUEST Shannah Jay 79

not many large ones, and certainly none that are dangerous if left in peace. There are lenrils in the high forest where I come from - a wild animal larger than a meat nerid. They have tusks, but they don't attack people unless someone attacks them or tries to take their prey from them. If you live near them, they grow used to you, and learn to recognise and avoid you. My grandfather found a wounded lenril once and sewed its leg together.'

'It let him?'

'Not quite. He had to give it slumberbane first to make it sleep. Afterwards he took it food and water until it could move properly and hunt for itself. One cold winter it came to him again for food. We have snow sometimes in the High Alder, you know, and it's never as warm there as it is here in Tenebron.'

'Your grandfather sounds to be a remarkable man.'

Tears filled her eyes. 'He is - maybe was. I don't even know if he's still alive. That's the hardest thing about joining the Sisterhood. We're cut off absolutely from our families. They won't even tell us if our relatives are alive and they send us to a temple far away from our homes.' She dashed a hand across her eyes to wipe away the tears. 'So little
control
! Will I never learn? I am unworthy to be your Sister, Lord.'

'I think you're wonderful.' He heard her draw a sharp breath. 'Katia, do men and women fal in love here on Sunrise?'

Her voice was guarded. 'They grow to love one another, Lord.'

'Even Sisters?'

'All women are capable of love, Lord Davred. But we Sisters cannot give our whole lives to it. Some give a few years, then return to the temple; others live outside until their husbands die. But each one returns to the Sisterhood in the end. And even when they live out in the world, they always remain Sisters and must return to a temple every few years for Renewal.'

'I knew all that, but it meant nothing to me until now. All except for the Renewal part, that is. I haven't heard that word before. What exactly do you mean by Renewal? What is Herra doing to herself?'

Was she allowed to tell him? It was one of the most carefully guarded secrets of the Sisterhood, one that must never be shared with an outsider. But he was the Manifestation of the God, and Herra had said he would spend his life with them, sharing their Quest. It must surely be right to answer his question.