And shes a miserable cow, an all, that Iris, Winnie growled. She looks at me as if I were no more than a piece of dirt. Id like to give her arse a good kicking.
Yes, well … Laura wouldnt have minded joining in the kicking, but was too ladylike to say so.
Perhaps it was about time she started wearing make-up, she thought, when they arrived at the Grafton and she contemplated her scrubbed, rosy face in the mirror in the crowded cloakroom.
Winnie must have read her mind and grinned at her through the mirror. I told you, you shouldve brought your milking stool. She spat on a block of mascara and began to apply another coat, turning her already stiff lashes into a row of little black spikes. The girl on Lauras other side was dabbing her cheeks with rouge and looked for all the world like a clown. Laura supposed there was a happy medium; a little touch of powder to take the shine off her nose wouldnt hurt, a smear of pale pink lipstick.
And her woollen frock seemed awfully sensible compared with the other girls
and she was probably the only person there in flat shoes. Still, she hadnt come to cop a feller, and only her feelings would be hurt if no one danced with her.
To her surprise, and Winnies, she was asked to dance the very second they entered the ballroom where the orchestra was playing Kiss The Boys Goodbye.
Laura was a good dancer, she had been pleased to discover, and she enjoyed being swept around the floor by a young soldier called Jack who said she reminded him of his sister.
Jack asked her for the next dance and the next, until she felt obliged to bring up the subject of husbands and told him hers was in North Africa, just in case he got ideas.
Winnie was being pestered by a chap she didnt like and suggested they move to a different part of the ballroom. Itll put him off the scent. I dont like to turn him down, case he gets nasty.
They retired to a corner, the orchestra struck up, Well Meet Again, one of Lauras favourites, when a laughing voice said, Can I have this dance, Winnie?
Winnie gasped, You bugger! You followed us, but didnt sound as if she minded in the least, as Eric Tyler led her on to the floor.
Ben Tyler looked at Laura, clearly uncomfortable. Im sorry, but he insisted.
Hes got a thing about Winnie. I hope youre not cross. He began to edge away.
Dont worry, Im not going to cramp your style. Ill make myself scarce.
Dont be silly. Laura spied Jack on his way towards her. Hed obviously tracked her down. Id love to have at least one dance with you. Theres a young man about to ask me who Id sooner not dance with again. Jack was very nice, but she didnt want him monopolising her all night.
Actually, she said, when she was on the floor in Bens arms, I find dances rather difficult. You can get stuck with people and its hard to get rid of them without being rude. Its all right for men, they can pick and choose. I dont think Ill come again. Anyway, it hardly seems fair, when Ive no intention of acccepting a date or letting anyone take me home.
Not even me? Ben raised his eyebrows. He was a smaller, slighter version of his brother, his hair not quite so dark, his skin a tiny bit paler, which made him look rather delicate. He had an attractive, whimsical smile.
Oh, you can take me home, of course. Ill be glad of the company. Will Winnie and Eric be coming with us, too?
Not if Erics got anything to do with it. He has plans for Winnie that involve going back to her house, not ours.
Laura felt embarrassed. She was well aware that Winnie slept around, but there was something different, she couldnt quite put her finger on what, about her sleeping with someone like Eric whom Laura knew well.
The music ended. Ben said, Would you like a drink? But please say no if Im being a nuisance.
Id love a glass of lemonade. It was getting very warm. Though I dont want to stop you from dancing with other women.
To tell the truth, I dont like dances either, Ben confessed. I cant remember when I last went. Asking girls to dance takes a certain sort of courage that I dont have.
I like the atmosphere, Laura said when they were sitting at a table on the balcony looking down on the dancers. Its very emotional and romantic, moving in a way. All these soldiers, sailors and airmen. Who knows where theyll be this time next week? For some, it might be the last time they would hold a woman in their arms. She spied Winnies blonde head. Eric seemed to be holding her unnecessarily close as they danced to Two Sleepy People, not that Winnie appeared to mind. Id love to come with Roddy. Is there someone youd like to come with? she asked curiously. He was thirty-two, very presentable, and she felt sure he must have a girlfriend back in Newcastle, though hed never mentioned anyone.
Ben didnt answer for a while and she regretted asking such a personal question.
She was about to apologise, when he spoke. His voice was strained.
There was. Jennifer Jenny. We were engaged, about to be married, when she decided to give me up for someone richer and better-looking.
Gosh. Im so sorry. I shouldnt have asked. It was very rude of me. She wished the balcony floor would swallow her up.
Thats OK. His smile was a touch bitter. Im all right now, though it took a long time to get over the feeling of betrayal.
Laura squeezed his hand. Youre bound to fall in love with someone else one day.
Ben looked at her directly. His eyes were very bright. I already have.
Oh, she cried, delighted. Is it someone I know?
Its someone you know very well.
Not Winnie! It would cause dreadful complications as Eric already seemed badly smitten.
Not Winnie, no.
And not Queenie. Shes far too young for you.
Not Queenie either, but youre getting close.
He was staring at her oddly and she could feel herself going very red. She clapped her hands to her cheeks. They were burning. Not me, she said in a strangled voice. Not me, surely.
Dont worry, Ben said calmly. I wont make a pass. I know how much you love Roddy and Id like us to stay good friends. I shouldnt have told you, but I suppose the romantic atmosphere got to me, loosened my tongue. He stood. Ill get you another lemonade and after I come back well never talk about it again.
Queenie was having trouble with her men. She hadnt been back in Glover Street long before Brian Tyler invited her to the pictures. She went willingly because she liked him. Behind his rather haughty exterior, she sensed he was quite shy.
When he suggested Saturday night, she told him shed already made arrangements to go out and asked if they could go Friday instead.
Friday it is. Brian looked pleased.
They went to the Palace in Marsh Lane and saw They Drive by Night, with George Raft and Ann Sheridan. Brian held her hand on the way home.
The following night, Saturday, Jimmy Nicholls arrived to take her to the pictures. Theyd already been out about half a dozen times. They Drive by Nights on at the Palace, Jimmy said, rubbing his hands together gleefully.
Its all about lorries.
Im sorry, Jimmy, Ive already seen it.
Eh? Whod you go with?
Brian Tyler from upstairs.
But youre my girlfriend! Jimmy said indignantly.
No, Im not. Queenie was equally indignant. Im nobodys girlfriend.
I thought, after the war, once Id got a proper job, like, wed get married.
Thats the first Ive heard of it. She was sixteen and had no intention of getting serious with anyone, though felt awful when Jimmy looked terribly hurt.
He was probably the nicest lad on earth, living in a disgusting lodging house on the Dock Road and spending most of his pitiful wages buying clothes for Tess and Pete who were still living in Caerdovey, virtually the only evacuees left. He went to see them at least once a month. Laura sometimes knitted jumpers for Pete, and Queenie had made Tess a dirndl skirt out of blackout material.
She felt so guilty, she told him shed enjoyed They Drive by Night so much that she wouldnt mind seeing it again.
Are you sure? he asked pathetically.
Absolutely.
Are you seeing that Brian Tyler again?
She wasnt prepared to lie. Were going into town on Wednesday afternoon. Its me half day off, and hes still on holiday from school. Brian was in the sixth form at Merchant Taylors. Were going to the matinée at the Forum.
Whats on?
Gone With the Wind. Its nearly four hours long. Inevitably, Brian discovered she was seeing Jimmy and said he didnt want to share her with another chap. I hope you dont mind, Queenie, but Id like you to be just my girlfriend.
Ive no intention of being anybodys girlfriend, she said huffily. Youll just have to put up with Jimmy, and hell have to put up with you. Either that, or we wont go out. Shed be perfectly happy without both of them. She loved her job at Herriots, she loved living in Glover Street with Laura and Hester.
She didnt need one boyfriend, let alone two.
But I like you! Brian wailed. He was very clever and very spoiled, used to getting his own way.
I like you, but I like Jimmy as well.
Each became so jealous when she went out with the other, that she suggested they went in a threesome. It had been funny at first, both vying for her attention the way Hester and Mary had done in Wales, but theyd only been five years old, whereas Brian was seventeen, Jimmy two years younger. She told them she found them extremely childish.
Eventually, to her relief, somewhat grudgingly, they began to get on. Both avid football fans, they went to see Liverpool or Everton play on Saturday afternoons when Queenie was at work. By the time December came, they had become good friends.
They took turns choosing what to see. Jimmy liked cowboy pictures best, Brian thrillers, and Queenie anything that made her laugh or cry. Tonight had been Jimmys turn and theyd seen Destry Rides Again with James Stewart and Marlene Dietrich.
See what the boys in the back room will have, they sang on the way home, linking arms, Queenie in the middle.
Halfway down Marsh Lane, Brian who, unlike Jimmy, was inclined towards introspection, stopped. It was a lovely moonlit night and they could see as clear as day.
I wonder where the people are who used to live there? Brian nodded towards a row of half-demolished houses. The moon peered through the spaces where windows had once been, through rafters that had once supported a roof. They look like corpses. The flesh has been removed and only the bones are left. Its strange how we get used to things, he said in an awed voice. This time last year, they were perfectly ordinary houses, now theyre wrecks. Half of Bootle has been obliterated, yet weve stopped noticing. We can actually walk along the road and sing. Im surprised anybody, me included, is able to enjoy themselves after everything thats gone on.
Ive not stopped thinking about me mam and dad, Jimmy growled, but as me old lady said in a letter, Life goes on.
I suppose thats it, Brian said thoughtfully. Life goes on. Either you go on, or you go under. He began to walk again, more slowly now. You know, Ill never forget this, being with you two, living in Glover Street, the war, the raids.
Everything. Its been the high point of my life. I cant imagine things ever being real again.
You mustnt think like that. Queenie felt quite shocked. Its as if you dont expect anything exciting will ever happen again.
Maybe it wont, Brian said in a flat voice.
Thingsll seem real to me when I get a car, Jimmy said.
Oh, come on, both of you. Queenie forged ahead, dragging them with her. She was glad to be alive, to be who she was, where she was, and wasnt prepared to listen to such talk. Laura had said there was enough tea to make a pot when they got back, But only have a cup each. There isnt much milk left. Everyone was out, so they could sit around talking till they came home, listen to Radio Luxembourg, which played all the latest songs. Jimmy wouldnt go home until Brian went upstairs, and Brian wouldnt go upstairs until Jimmy had gone, and shed have to pretend to go to bed to get rid of them.
She was surprised to hear voices when she opened the front door, and found Hester and Mary in the living room lying on the mat in front of the fire reading a book together, Vera relaxing in an armchair, and Sammy, like a little angel, fast asleep on the sofa. The wireless was on and Anne Shelton was singing Night and Day.
I thought thered be no one in, she exclaimed.
Vera groaned and stretched her legs. Iris went to bed, so me and Sammy followed the girls over here. Its nice, sitting in someone elses house for a change and listening to music. I didnt think Laura would mind. Im sick to death of our place. If I so much as breathe, it gives Iris a headache. What was the picture like?
Much better than most cowboy pictures, Brian said.
It was the gear, Mrs Monaghan, Jimmy enthused. Can I pick Sammy up? I used to nurse our Pete when he was little.
Go ahead, luv. Shall I make everyone a cup of tea? I brought some with me, as well as some cheese scones.
You stay there, Vera. Ill make it.
Queenie was setting out the cups and saucers, singing, when there was a knock on the door. Who can that be? she asked herself.
She switched off the kitchen light so it wouldnt show when she opened the door.
A man in khaki wearing a peaked cap was standing outside, clearly visible in the light of the brilliant moon.
Good evening. He courteously touched his cap. I seem to have mislaid my key.
Im Roddy Oliver, Lauras husband. Can I please come in?
Chapter 7
Roddy! she cried. Its me, Queenie. Oh, come in, come in. Lauras out, but shell be back soon.
He removed his cap and stepped inside. She closed the door and turned on the light. He was every bit as handsome as she remembered, though older, thinner, very sunburnt, extremely weary, but nevertheless he managed a smile that made her heart turn over.