Queen Of My Heart (2 page)

“I cannot think of these things now, first I have to figure out how to undo the wrong I’ve done.” And hope to the heavens that it was not too late; that I hadn’t caused such harm as to be irreparable. Has she spent her days as I have? I think not, the lady Rhiannon wouldn’t bury her woes in wine I daresay. But how has she dealt with what must now seem to her like my betrayal? My gut churned at the thought of the things I’d done since reading that letter.

I have spent everyday since trying to drown the memory of her from my being. I no longer found solace on the training field and had turned everything over to my second in command when it became evident that my head wasn’t in it. Thankfully my enemies to the south had waited until just this day to rear their ugly heads. There was still time yet to put down their minor rebellion.

“I have but a fortnight to take care of this matter before I have to turn my attention to the Torcs, they remain ever a pain in my arse but at least I can keep them at bay for that long. I’ve wasted precious time wallowing in my cups as you can see.” I lifted the tankard, which I still held and she scoffed before coming over to kiss my brow.

"Totally understandable son, now what are you going to do about this mess?"

"I'm going to get my wife." I was out the door in a hurry until I reached the stables and realized I was in my dressing gown and barefoot to boot. No wonder my servants had given me a wide birth I probably looked like a lunatic, heaven knows I've been acting like one these last few weeks.

 I ran back to my rooms where my mother stood holding out my clothing with a smirk on her face.

"I think I'd better come with you son, you might muck things up again."

"Thanks mother, greatly appreciated."

“Will you tell your advisers what you’re about?”

I could tell from her tone that she didn’t like that idea very much, but I had no intent on divulging this information. Not yet, if there was treason against the queen afoot I will know soon enough when I brought her back home.

“I think not mother, I will take only a contingent of a few trusted men and that is all.”

I'm coming for you my queen; I hope her kind-heartedness extended to idiot husbands who made a spectacle of her. For fuck's sake I'd made her a laughingstock throughout the kingdoms. I'm so sorry Rhiannon I'll make it up to you I promise.

Chapter 3

Rhiannon

"Queen Rhiannon, your king has arrived, you must come." My maids were all in a flurry around me as I sat quietly among them. The day had started like any other in the last few weeks dreary and never ending. I had consoled myself with the fact that this was to be my life now. A shunned wife had not many prospects and no one would dare even approach the cast off wife of the vaunted king Shane of the Dales. Not that I had any interest in men, but I had come to yearn for children, his children. The thought was too harsh to bear. Now this.

"I am no queen, I have no king." My heart raced so loudly within my chest it was a wonder the maids couldn't hear it.

"You must get dressed mistress, please come." How soon they forget, could they not recall the broken shell of a woman I had been when I first returned here? How can they be so excited at the prospect of seeing the one who had done their own mistress such grievous harm? It was another testament to the charm and charisma of Shane. All who knew him fell for his outward manner, but only I knew the true beast that dwelt within. For hadn’t I been the one to feel the sting from the dragon’s tail?

"No, leave me." Fortified with renewed thoughts of the wrong done to me I held fast my position. I knew not why he had shown up here. Maybe it was to annul our union once and for all. The thought was like a piercing sword through the heart and caused me to lash out even farther at my ladies in waiting. “Be gone from me you traitors, go bow and scrape before your king, I shall not lay eyes upon that man unless it is to run him through with my sword.”

They knew better than to bother with me after that, no doubt they'd rush off to father to tell him that I was being difficult again. It has been three weeks since I've been home, and even father has given up trying to talk to me. I find comfort only in my own company and my memories, memories of a love so short lived and never consummated.

My thoughtful king or so I thought at the time had sought to give me time to get to know him before bedding me. Now I knew there was something more at play, that viper Tamar Stefano had whispered it in my ears often enough. But I'd chosen not to believe her, instead I'd put my trust in my stupid heart and his foul lies, if I had the chance I would cut them from his throat with a rusted knife.

"Come, come, what is this, your king has arrived get yourself together." Father came into the room full of excitement not long after the others had scattered.

"I will not see him, if ever I should lay eyes upon that one again it would be his last day on this earth." I turned away from him in anger, how could he so easily forgive? Maybe his love too had been false, why else would he be so willing to give me over to one who had treated me so poorly? Men have died for less under my father’s rule. But I, his beloved daughter, the one he calls the apple of his eye was to be thrown to the wolves without a second thought. Men.

"Why me, why me? Rhiannon, stop this nonsense at once and heed me. My child does not speak like this, she has a forgiving heart she has understanding. She was raised in such a manner, what has come over you girl?" "I will not see him." No flowery words will sway me, if my father thought it was so easy to throw off the mantle of disgrace then he truly had no concept of what it meant to be a woman scorned. I folded my arms and turned a deaf ear to his pleadings. “The king can just get back on his horse and return from whence he came.”

"Bah, do as you please I'm only trying to secure your crown for your obstinate head. Why couldn’t I have been blessed with sons? Sons are so much more obedient to their fathers, they care more for their father’s plight as a king." Hah, that will not work this time; always he uses that ruse to get his way with me when I’m being particularly stubborn about a certain issue. We both knew what he was up to, and where in the past I would give in to the old reprobate’s shenanigans this time there was too much at stake for me to play along.

He went back the way he came after it was evident that he wasn’t getting anywhere. Leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Shane, my Shane was here, oh to look upon his face once more, those eyes of his that told such tales. To hear his voice as he quoted some prose, no I will not think on it, he was lost to me. Let him go back to his side- piece, for whatever political reason he now found himself here I had no interest. Though the man I had come to know would not bow to the pressures of such things. Not to take back a wife he’d discarded. If only I knew the reasoning behind my putting away. Alas it was too late for that, the time for explanations was long gone. I had no more interest in empty words from my tormentor.

I heard the rustling of silk, maybe one of the palace women come to talk me into seeing the traitor of my heart. I wonder what they would do if I started acting the lunatic? Should I howl and rail, throw ashes atop my head maybe? Will they then leave me alone to grieve for my broken heart, as I should, as is my right?

"You tell Shane the knave to go straight to the bowels of hell, I have no wish to see him." Well, at least my spirit was back from hiding. I had despaired of ever finding that girl again, no not the silly twit who had fallen so easily for his pretty lies and simpered at his mere touch like a new foal with its mother. But the girl who had roamed her father’s lands freely as she pleased, beholden to no one but herself, innocent of the evils of the world. The girl who had dreamed before her dreams became a nightmare.

"Have you no greeting for your mother in law little one?"

 "Lady Elizabeta..." I flew up from my chair to face her, and just that easily the floodgates opened up at the sight of one who had shown such kindness in a land where there was hardly any to be found. She only made my dilemma that much worse when she clasped me to her bosom. Of all the things I had missed most about my husband’s palace I would have to place her among the very top of the list.

"Hush now child. I am here to see things set right." Her warm motherly arms wrapped around me offering comfort as I bawled like a newborn babe, with no shame whatsoever all over this fine lady's silk clothing. I was finally able to release the hurt and the pain that had been locked away inside. Here was someone who knew of my true feelings for her son. The one who had seen my heart and helped nurture that budding love that had been snuffed out so callously.

"I hate him, he's dead to me." I pulled away as I wiped the betraying tears from my eyes and found my seat once more. Mad at myself for giving into them and showing that weakness that still dwelt inside.

"Yes I know, my Cassius have been dead to me on plenty of occasions over the years; there were times when I even tried to make it a reality."

"What, what do you mean?" I sat back as she dried my tears.

"Ah, that's for another time, right now we must go meet your husband."

"I have no husband, he cast me aside..." my breath hitched as I uttered those dreadful words.

"A dire misunderstanding on his part yes, but did we not discuss the vagaries of men? Since you have no mother did I not take it upon myself to teach you about the shortcomings of men? Dolts all of them." She always could make me laugh with her wit.

"I shan't forgive him ever."

"So don't." She climbed to her feet and paced across the room and back.

"What, but I thought..."

"If you don't want to forgive him then don't, but you would be a fool to let your enemies win. Tell me now Rhiannon, before this unfortunate happenstance, were you not happy with my son, did you not find him at all appealing?"

"Of course I did you know that, but that was before he turned into a monster. Did you know he didn't even have the decency to tell me himself that I was to go? Instead he sent that...Stefano viper, his mistress no less to impart the news. You laugh, you laugh at my humiliation?" How dare the lady Elizabeta make light of my affliction? Was the whole family daft, had she too deceived me?

"No child, I laugh at the wiles of that one, I can assure you that my son would never have sent her to do his bidding. He is many things but stupid he is not and she's never been in his bed and never will be. Bah Shane can barley stand the woman."

"But he did, she told me so." Had I been played for a fool? No matter he still sent me away without a by your leave and she is his mother so of course she would lie for him, hide his sin from the foolish gullible wife who had believed his lies.

"I dare say, she might've used her cunning to intercept the one sent to you but Shane would never have sent her. As to the other, she used an old woman's trick to bring friction between you and your love. Jealousy my dear is a most vicious and accurate weapon. You've seen my son in action, think you that he would've married you if his heart belonged to another?"

What she say is true but still there was the way in which he had handled me so carelessly to think of. Had he borne me any feeling as I had come to believe, to hope. He never would’ve abused my innocent heart in such a manner. "Either way it doesn't matter, he sent me away without any explanation, I've been hidden away here in shame..."

"I know child and believe me I've given him a good tongue lashing for his stupidity and you may do the same and worse if you choose; but first you must greet him in the hall, you wouldn't bring shame on your poor father by refusing now would you?"

"Drats, fine, but you tell that son of yours that it will be a cold day in hell before I speak to him again."

“Kids, bah, what do you know?”

Chapter 4

Shane

Thank you mother, for at least getting her to come down. I had to rush away before I was found eavesdropping. My father in law had been kind enough to let me sneak into the room leading to the parapet. I'd heard every word; there was hurt and anger but no distaste. No real hate in her voice though there was plenty of venom, I could work with that. I had my work cut out for me, the damage was worst than I’d thought, I’d foolishly convinced myself on the way her that her soft woman’s heart and the love she had come to bear me would soften the blow of the wrong done her. That she would be so overcome with that love and gratitude that I had come all this way to right that wrong that she would willingly fall into my arms and all would be forgiven.

 Instead, I find a kingdom almost in mourning for their princess who it seemed had gone into hiding. The whispers were plenty since my arrival though none dared approach, but my men who had made quick use of the castle wenches had brought the news back. She was given to walking the parapet in solitude refusing the company of any except her father and sometimes the boy my mother had spoken of. No one knew her thoughts as it was said she refused to speak of what had befallen her in my kingdom, only that they all had deduced that she had been sent home in disgrace.

 I was even more interested in the fact that she had barely eaten since her return. It was as if she meant to starve herself to death. The evidence of my actions was almost more than I could bear but I had to put those thoughts aside for now and deal with the matter. I had no issue with the groveling that laid ahead of me in this situation. I had only myself to blame after all. My hot blooded ways had finally caught up with me and I had almost paid the ultimate price. It wasn’t too late though, of this I was sure. Though she proclaimed her hate for me, I would not accept it. And where did my sweet Rhiannon learn to speak like that?

Rhiannon

"Oh lady Rhiannon, may we still not call you my queen?"