Put a Ring on It (9 page)

“
Some
good? Ouch.” Theo turned and walked over to sit on the back steps.

“You know that’s not the way I meant it.” Kieran followed and wriggled into a spot next to him. “I want to be with you. But we can’t pretend that it’s just about us anymore.”

Theo turned his head toward Kieran. Now Theo got why Kieran had lost it yesterday. He’d seen this coming while all Theo could see were the hearts and the flowers and the music. And which of them had more life experience?

No, it wasn’t just about them anymore. But they’d better both be in this for the right reasons.

“Does this change of heart have anything to do with not wanting to ‘fuck it up’?” Repeating Marilyn’s phrasing was deliberate.

The tops of Kieran’s ears got darker than just from the cold. “I guess we both did a little inadvertent eavesdropping. How much did you hear?”

“More than enough.” Theo gazed out at the back fence. He hadn’t liked listening and didn’t want to repeat it. Didn’t like the way it made him wonder if a different practicality was behind Kieran’s sudden change of heart.

“Imagine hearing it directed at you. The answer is no. I’m not marrying you in some delayed adolescent rebellion, and I didn’t suggest we stop trying to pretend the video doesn’t exist because of what my mother said.” Kieran put his hand over Theo’s where it rested on his jeans.

Both their hands were cold. Dry. Then Kieran interlaced their fingers, and their skin started to warm from the contact. Theo felt a tug, deep inside, like his spine naturally wanted to lean toward Kieran until more than just their hands were tangled together.

The diamond refracted a spark of light as Kieran’s grip tightened. “I know I don’t make enough to cover expenses in the condo, but I don’t want you to support me, Theo. That’s not why I’m there. If you want me to sign something like that, just give it to me.”

“No.” Theo used their hands to pull Kieran closer, though the narrow step meant they were already smushed together from shoulder to knee. “That’s not—I’ve never thought that.”

Before Kieran, Theo couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with anyone who wasn’t involved in his world. Kieran hadn’t known who Theo was or what he did, and even after learning, he didn’t seem to care.

After that conversation with Kieran’s grandmother, Theo wondered if maybe they did have more in common. If Kieran’s drawings meant he had a way of seeing things in his head that he needed to bring into the world. All this time and he’d never mentioned them. Not before or after the fire.

Before Theo could find a way to ask him, his phone started vibrating in his pocket. The one right against Kieran’s hip bone.

“Go for it. Give him the good news.” Kieran said.

As soon as Theo accepted the call, Martin started in. “Before you say no again, I want you to think about this. Not just about
Two for the Show
, but everything. Think of the poor gay kids out there in the rectangle states—”

“Yes.” Theo didn’t wait for the rest of the sales pitch.

“Are you even listening—wait, what?”

“Yes, let’s do it. Boost the signal. Milk it for everything.”

“Are you serious?”

Theo glanced at Kieran. “Well, not about the milking it for everything. But yes on the signal boost.”

“I’ve already heard from the
New Yorker
and
Playbill
. Better, all three morning shows called—not Fox—but what do you expect? Damn. If only you’d given me this before Valentine’s Day.”

“I’ll—we’ll do one morning show. Let the other ones be hungry.” Theo put the phone on mute. “Well, here we go.” He wiped his free hand on his jeans. How had he gotten so nervous? This was what he did. “Take your pick.”

“
Good Morning America
. It’s got the gay cred.”

“You got it.”

Theo relayed the decision to Martin and managed to extract himself from the rest of his excited schemes by pointing out that Theo wouldn’t have a fiancé to show up with if he didn’t get off the phone during the Sabbath at his in-laws-to-be’s house.

“So.” Theo tucked away the phone and wiped his sweating hands again. “There we go. Happy?”

“Not about that.” Kieran leaned back so their shoulders were no longer fighting for space.

Theo looked at him, and just like that he was crazy about the guy all over again. He shifted onto his hip so he could turn toward Kieran.

“I could be coaxed into content.” Kieran suggested, pulling Theo down into a kiss.

A light one, which was fine because they were at Kieran’s parents’ house, and Theo still needed to make it back for the matinee.

Then Kieran grabbed Theo’s hip and they were kissing. Kieran’s tongue stroked along Theo’s hard and fast, warmth racing down, blood racing down to tighten his jeans and his balls. They’d never been the kind of couple to sneak off and find any space they could. If they went out, they’d work up a slow burn over dinner and skip dessert for home.

Now Kieran’s breath was hitting Theo like a drug, and every taste, every stroke of his tongue made Theo desperate for
in
. God, please,
in
. Kieran’s cock in him or fucking Kieran until the world went white in the sweet grip of his ass. Yes, that. Now. Kieran on his lap. Hell yeah. They’d—

The back door crashed into his head.

“It’s all right,” Emma called out. “They’re necking. Your mother is sorry for making it
fercockt
. She’s
meshugga
from the change. I told her she’d have an easier time if she’d just have had one baby the normal way. Feh. You boys come in when you’re done.”

Kieran had torn his mouth away when the door opened, or maybe the blow to Theo’s skull had accomplished that. At least the head injury had slowed his dick down.

“You okay?” Kieran reached for Theo’s head.

Theo intercepted the gesture and found the sore spot with his own fingers. No blood, no dent. He managed a careful nod. No headache.

Kieran licked his lips. “Home?”

“Home.” Theo rubbed the spot again. “If it’s all the same to you, though, I think we’ll keep your grandmother offstage for now.”

NEXT MORNING,
Kieran woke on the sofa, tucked in a cozy Sherpa throw. He and his painfully tenacious boner had finally given up and fallen asleep waiting for Theo to get home. He’d had his computer open and no blanket, so the closed computer on the coffee table and the soft, warm cover were signs that Theo had finally made it back to the apartment.

And completely failed to wake Kieran up with a blow job. If being with Theo meant Kieran had to put up with everyone knowing his personal business, the payoff should at least include Theo being there to take care of the so-horny-I’m-going-to-die parts of life.

He kicked off the fleecy blanket and glared at his laptop. He’d been working on the comic to try to distract himself from his hard-on. The file would have saved as the computer followed him into sleep mode, and Theo probably hadn’t done anything but shut it and put it on the coffee table. But the action still felt invasive.

He scooped up the laptop and shoved it into its bag, then zipped it shut.

He made plenty of noise slamming around in the bathroom, but Theo didn’t wake up and come in, which only pissed Kieran off more.

Yesterday, Jesus. No matter how many times Kieran had tried to get his dick to back off, reminding himself they’d been fucking for a year and they’d only been kissing for fuck’s sake, he couldn’t focus on anything else. Even now, the thought of it, that sudden desperate craving for his boyfriend’s cock in him six feet from his mom’s kitchen, it was a straight trip back to gotta-fuck-or-die.

Goddamn Theo for having to rush off to the theater as soon as they’d gotten back from Brooklyn. And goddamn him for sleeping like the dead now. And damn himself too for getting in the shower to rub it out instead of waking up his warm, probably willing boyfriend, because Kieran had decided to choke himself and his balls on spite.

Yesterday hadn’t been the first time he’d wished they weren’t the kind of couple who always did it in the bed or the shower. That kind of now-now-now desperation was fucking hot.

Not that Theo wasn’t awesome in bed. Or the shower. Kieran could testify that experience really counted. God, yes. Plus, Theo paid attention. He had focus. God, did he ever. He knew ways to get to Kieran’s dick even he’d never dreamed of. Like that elbow thing. Who knew? It could be embarrassing and get him horny as hell at the same time.

Theo’s supersilky conditioner smelled good enough to eat and made Kieran’s dick glide through his fist, wet and hot in the steam and mist of the shower. He held his hand steady and thrust his hips, heat flowing from his cock to his nuts. Nice, sweet. But not even close to having Theo there. Not just his mouth or his hand or his ass, but Theo. Their skin touching everywhere, breath in each other’s mouths or ears, the sounds he made.

Yeah, most of the time sex was better with someone than solo, but with Theo, that became better to the factor of oh-shit-so-fucking-good.

Kieran eased himself back, reducing the grip to just a one-finger-thumb circle. If Theo came in now and took over, fingers stroking Kieran’s balls, hand on his dick, whispering in his ear—yeah. How could he not have woken up already? Theo was a light sleeper. How the fuck late had he been out?

Usually he didn’t mind Theo working so much. It was perfect. Kieran liked having the quiet, empty space, and Theo got out all his jittery energy before he came home. He even knew why Theo had been gone so long yesterday. When he’d left for the matinee, he’d been bursting with excitement about
Two for the Show
, and had later texted to say he was going to dinner after the evening show. Of course he’d invited Kieran to meet him there, but although a restaurant full of actors and agents and managers and directors might have been Theo’s heaven, it was Kieran’s hell.

Shit. His mind had gone so far off track he’d lost the sweet edge—and most of the slick sensation. When he grabbed for Theo’s conditioner again, the diamond caught in the loofa hanging off the shelf. As he untangled it, he remembered where he was supposed to be wearing it tomorrow, and that about had his dick and nuts taking a hike up into his intestines.

He’d tried to sound—and make himself feel—confident about using the video’s fallout to help Theo’s project, though he’d rather spend the next few weeks in an underground bunker until everyone forgot the whole thing. Now he was going on television to talk about it. Tomorrow.

He’d let Theo handle the talking part of course, but just the idea of being there was enough to make Kieran think about passing out.

None of which was getting him off.

He wasn’t going to let this shit control his dick too. It might have found its way into the rest of his life, but he could still jerk off whenever the fuck he wanted. He shifted out of the direct spray and got his dick revving again with satiny, sweet-smelling strokes.

As he climbed, he felt himself sink into that urgency. Picturing a moment when neither of them cared about anything but how much they needed that skin, that taste. That feel. So hard and fast Theo would forget everything but how Kieran was making him feel. He’d be one hundred percent there.
Mine.

Kieran’s hand turned into a fist on the glass as he stroked faster, harder, muscles tight, balls full. He twisted his fingers in imaginary Theo’s curls, locking them together as the heat jolted out of him in spiky waves, and he had to brace himself against the wall or drop to his knees.

Theo still wasn’t stirring when Kieran dressed. He headed out to see if Brett was at work, and he didn’t leave a note or a text. Apparently wearing a fucking engagement ring had turned him into a passive-aggressive bitch.

Last May

NO. I’M
really not coming.

Jax stared down at Theo’s text. In thirteen years, none of them had ever missed their reunion ride on the Cyclone. Not even the year when Jax had to stagger off a red-eye from LAX and get right back on a plane afterward because he was waiting to hear on a callback. Dane had flown in from Oregon when one of his three moms was dying from ovarian cancer. They’d all made it out to Oregon for the funeral. Three years ago, Jax and Theo had been barely speaking because Theo insisted on hiding behind his music director’s decision to tell Jax not to audition for any more of Theo’s musicals unless he had a vocal implant. It had been uncomfortable and awkward as hell, but it was one two-minute ride, and they got through it. Gideon was always there, always in the city. Jax had been surprised to see him at Dane’s mom’s funeral because Jax had this crazy idea that if Gideon did leave the city limits, he’d turn to dust or stone or one of those things that happened in fairy tales.

Now Theo, who had come up with this crazy idea in the first place, wasn’t going to show. And not because of death or dismemberment, but because it was his nerdy new boyfriend’s birthday?

Jax turned at the sound of his name to see Gideon walking up behind him. He looked like he was stepping out of some kind of fashion shoot, suit coat slung over his shoulder, tie loosened, and his top buttons undone. Jax pictured it in bluish gray tones at the back of
Esquire
, the trash on the boardwalk that skittered around in the fifteen mile an hour wind becoming picturesque in the photographer’s lens.

With the way the wind painted his shirt onto his body, it was clear Gideon still hadn’t gained a pound since graduation. Some guys had all the luck. Jax swore he dreamed about eating carbs more often than he dreamed about sex.

Jax held up his phone as Gideon approached. “What did you hear?”

Gideon handed over his phone.

Jax read the conversation.

If I break my neck on this fucking thing without you, I’ll haunt you forever.

Lol. Explain when I get back. Turning off my phone now.

“Hey. Am I late?” Dane jogged over in cargo shorts and a sweater.

Gideon might not have put on any weight since college, but at least he’d had the decency to gray a little and get some lines around his eyes and mouth. Dane probably still got carded at thirty-five.