Puss in Boots (Timeless Fairy Tales Book 6) (5 page)

“Please!” the bandit shivered.

“
Where
are you meeting up with the rest of your bandit company?” Puss said, his voice little more than a growl as he hunched low on the man’s chest, like he was about to pounce.

“Farther up the road!” the bandit babbled. “ ’Bout two miles from here. Turn off at the rock formation on the left side, and follow the deer trail to a cave.”

“Excellent. Mistress, we have our directions,” Puss said, straightening up to his usual elegant sitting position.

“D-don’t kill me,” the bandit begged.

“Of course not. You aren’t worth the trouble. Sleep,” Puss ordered. Just like the other bandit, the man’s eyes rolled back, and he went limp.

“That is a useful spell,” Gabrielle said as she started to tie up the next bandit.

“Yes, unfortunately it only works on those who lack magic
and
are gullible or stupid,” Puss said, twitching his black and pink nose.

“Would it work on me?”

“Certainly not,” Puss said. “It could never affect someone so bullheaded. Do you agree to seek out and ambush the rest of the bandits?”

“Do you think we can handle them?”

“If it is a large group, we will remain hidden and whittle down their numbers to something more manageable,” Puss said.

“Then I’m game,” Gabrielle said, moving to the third bandit to tie him to the other two.

“It is not too dangerous for you?”

She rocked back on her heels. “I’m not opposed to a little danger; it’s the suicide missions—like taking on the ogre of Carabas—that I’m anxious to avoid. Besides, after what you just pulled off? I’m certain we can handle a few more bandits.”

Puss licked his paw. “I am pleased that I have chosen my mistress so well.”

Gabrielle looked up from her knots. “What do you mean?”

“You thirst for adventure, but you are not brash or stupid. You think things through and remain clear-headed. You aren’t as good as a mage, but you’ll do.”

“You aren’t really praising me, are you? You’re just admiring your own decisions,” Gabrielle said.

“And this is why we will get along splendidly.”

“Yeah, sure. Let me tie up this last bandit, and we can go.”

After Gabrielle finished her work, they hid the bandit’s weapons—no use tying them up so they could cut themselves loose—and set out, Puss leading the way with his tail poking up. After half an hour of walking, they found the rock formation the terrified bandit had described.

Gabrielle studied the patted-down path that veered through knee-high grass. “This must be it. This looks like a deer trail.”

“It is. Now pick me up,” Puss bid.

“What? No. I carried you long enough this morning. You need to lay off the fish because you are heavy,” Gabrielle said.

“I am not fat!”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I am a particularly large and brawny specimen. I am lean and boast solid muscle.”

“Sure.”

Puss stood on his hind legs and hooked his claws into Gabrielle’s skirt. “You are worse than a poor-mannered street urchin, but I will be benevolent and overlook it this once. Now, carry me. I cannot make us both invisible unless we are connected.”

“Oh. Alright.” She picked the magical cat up—he really was quite large. As she tucked him against her chest, a gelatinous sensation spread across her body—as if she were swimming through strawberry preserves.

Puss’s tail twitched. “It is done. Let us begin down the path.”

“You are certain we’re invisible?” Gabrielle asked as she peered down at her traveling companion. “I can still see you.”

“Yes, because I cast the magic on
us
. It is working—didn’t you feel it?”

“I felt
something
,” she confirmed as she started down the narrow deer trail. “It felt…gooey.”

“Naturally. It has to cover you. Now it is important to remember that although we are invisible, we are not inaudible. Do try to keep yourself from stumbling about like a blind ox.”

“I’ll do my best,” Gabrielle said before purposely bouncing the cat for several steps.

Puss huffed, but he was quiet as they marched through the untamed countryside. The deer trail led them through rolling plains and skirted rocky hills topped with leafy trees. She was beginning to wonder if the bandit had lied to them, when Puss hissed, “Slow down.”

Gabrielle followed his instructions and tilted her head at the sound of voices. Veering off the path, she pushed through grass and shrubbery, making her way towards a rocky hillside.

Boulders lay scattered around the base of the hill, sheltering the small cave entrance from sight. If the bandits hadn’t been talking, she would have missed it. Their voices and a stream of smoke signaled the cave entrance—which was a hole hip-height that opened up into the bowels of the hill.

“Careful,” Puss whispered as Gabrielle knelt down next to the hole. “Keep a hand on me, or you’ll be visible.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle whispered. She impatiently pushed her hair out of her face as Puss squirmed from her grasp and sat next to her, leaning into her hand.

Five bandits in various stages of inebriation and senselessness populated the cave. One had already drunken himself into a stupor, based on his loud snores and the half-filled pint propped on his potbelly. Two others were halfway there, toasting themselves, each other, their good luck, the cave, and any rock or bit of wildlife they happened to catch sight of. The remaining two bandits were more controlled. One sipped at his drink, and the last bandit—who was unfortunately built like an ox—partook in none of the drinking. Instead, he cast the open keg a look of disgust and busied himself with counting coins and inspecting tarnished jewelry.

“They must have gone raiding recently,” Puss whispered, pointing his nose at three packs of valuables mounded next to the sober, ox-like bandit.

“There must be more bandits, then,” Gabrielle whispered. “Nine bandits can’t take on a village.”

“Perhaps they have been seeking out farmsteads,” Puss said.

“Maybe,” Gabrielle said, unconvinced.

“I am inclined to agree with you. We should strike as quickly as possible, lest the rest return.”

“So what do we do?”

“We draw them out of the cave. It would be more difficult to fight them all together,” Puss said.

“And how do we get them out?”

“Like this,” Puss said, before he pitched his voice louder. “I say. You, sir, smell like a donkey’s tail.”

The bandit who sipped his drink swiveled his head and looked around the cave. “You hear that?” he grunted to his sober companion.

The ox-like bandit glanced in Gabrielle’s direction. “Go check outside,” he said.

The bandit put his tankard aside and wiped his mouth on his bare arm before he trudged towards the entrance.

Gabrielle picked Puss up, rocked to her feet, and hustled backwards. Her heart pitter-pattered in her chest as she darted behind a tree and watched the cave entrance.

The bandit poked his head out and looked around before easing his shoulders and a staff through the hole. As he freed the rest of his body, Gabrielle grumbled, “I should have brought that spear with me.”

“As I recall, you did quite well with a tree branch,” Puss whispered. “Worry not. I’ll handle this one. Walk up behind him.”

Gabrielle followed the cat’s instructions and edged out of the tree line, her footsteps quiet on the grassy ground. The bandit trudged a semi-circle. When he stopped, she was within arm’s reach of the filthy man. She held her breath, half-afraid the bandit might hear the pounding of her heart.

Puss leaped from Gabrielle’s arms. He landed on the bandit’s shoulder, making the man shout and scramble forward, jumping and twisting like a bucking horse. Puss yowled and scratched at the man, drawing blood and shouts as he hung on. His tail was puffed up three times its usual size, and the bandit almost succeeded in ripping Puss from his shoulder before the cat finally said, “Sleep!”

The bandit went limp, thumping to the ground.

“You misjudged the jump, didn’t you?” Gabrielle asked as she picked up the bandit’s abandoned staff.

“I did no such thing,” Puss said.

Gabrielle climbed the boulders scattered around the cave entrance. “You did, too. That wasn’t a very smooth operation.”

“Hold your tongue,” Puss ordered.

“What’s going on?” The ox bandit poked his head out of the hole like a groundhog. He spotted Puss sitting next to the fallen bandit and frowned. “A cat?” he muttered, easing himself through the hole. He stood up, and Gabrielle administered a sharp blow to his head with the sturdy staff. He groaned and hit the ground like a sack of flour dropping from the weighing system.

Puss batted the man’s cheek as Gabrielle scrambled down from the rocks. “Well done,” the cat said, his white fur glowing in the bright sunlight. “I don’t even need to put a charm on him.”

“Thank you. I never thought I would be grateful for the hours and days I’ve spent hauling heavy flour sacks about,” Gabrielle said. She sank to her knees and pushed herself against the rock lip of the entrance, peering inside.

The sleeping bandit hadn’t awakened, and the two drunken bandits hadn’t stopped toasting everything they saw.

“I will see to those three,” Puss said before he dropped down into the cave.

“Be careful,” Gabrielle called after her companion. As she watched, Puss, bold as peacock, strolled up to the joyful bandits. He jumped onto their table and started cleaning his paws.

Neither of the bandits seemed to take notice of him, but they both slumped and fell forward, face-planting on the table. Puss crossed the table via their shoulders and jumped onto the sleeping bandit.

“You may enter this poor excuse of a hideout, Gabrielle,” Puss called. He stretched, flexing his paws and claws, and seated himself on the sleeping bandit’s chest.

Gabrielle eased herself feet-first through the hole. She glanced at the drunken men before moving toward the ox bandit’s pile of plunder. “They must have plundered Wied,” she said, inspecting the odds and ends.

“It is the most likely situation,” Puss agreed. “They appear to be moving up and down the road.”

Gabrielle opened a pack of booty and inspected the contents. “We have to take this to the villagers,” she said, heaving a great sigh.

“I deduce that you are not overjoyed with this idea?”

“No. I want to stay out of it, but we have to.”

“Why must we, Miss I-Despise-Most-People?”

“Because Wied is like Ilz. It is a little bigger with more citizens and several more stores—they even have an inn—but they are still a very small settlement.”

“And?”

“And a bandit raid on a small place like Ilz or Wied can be a death sentence for its citizens. The bandits mostly stole coin and luxuries. The village economy is based on bargaining, but all taxes, fees, and major purchases are paid for in coin. All of this money was surely meant for taxes. Without it, the villagers will have to raise additional funds,” Gabrielle said, closing one pack and opening another.

“I thought you wished to avoid adventures that would put you in the hero role,” Puss said, cleaning the backside of his left hind leg.

“Must you do that while I’m talking? And I am. But even I’m not cruel enough to walk away when I could save a village a lot of pain and hunger—especially when I know what they’re facing.”

“Bandits have attacked Ilz?”

“Once or twice. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s always devastating when they do. King Henrik—and Queen Ingrid when she was alive, God rest her soul—sent help, but it takes time for the troops and supplies to arrive.”

“Will you keep anything for yourself? I doubt all of this came from Wied. The bandits probably held up others on the road besides us,” Puss asked, walking across the bandits like they were plush carpets placed for his benefit.

“Perhaps, but the villagers can keep it all.”

“Why?” Puss asked, joining Gabrielle in peering in a pack.

Gabrielle shrugged. “You said I didn’t need any coin when I traveled with you. It would be heavy and irksome. Besides, I’m certain the bandits did property damage during their raid. It makes it easier to scavenge for goods if everyone is worried about saving someone’s store or house from a fire. The leftover money can go to village repairs.”

“Mmhmm,” Puss said trotting past.

“What?” Gabrielle asked, pouring the gold coins and bits of jewelry into a pack.

“Nothing. I shall go search for a pack animal. I imagine they must have at least one picketed somewhere nearby. Pack up what plunder you can and bring it out here.” Puss leaped to the ledge that formed the cave entrance and sauntered out into the afternoon light.

“Is it safe to leave me here with them? Won’t they wake up?”

“Not until this evening, and we will be long gone by then. Acquire some rope and begin tying them up when you finish with the booty,” Puss said. He flicked his tail and trotted off, leaving the limited view of the cave entrance.