Pursue (Portland Street Kings Book 3) (12 page)

“That was my father's name,” Jared declares, taking a seat at the table across from Dom and me, placing the gun on his lap.

Abi moves to Jared, places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “And it was a good name for our boy, a strong one.” Jared covers Abi’s hand with his own, and a look passes between them, one of strength and unity.
 

A laugh bursts from Abi and she speaks only to Jared this time, “Remember the nickname Jacob came up with for Mason? Because he used to count his steps everywhere.”
 

“Mason the Pacer,” Jared replies with amusement.
 

I sense Dom still beside me at the same time my heart freezes. The world around me fades away because all I can do is stare at Jared and Abi as they reminisce about a son I think I already know the fate of.
 

Abi walks around Jared, her hand still on his shoulder. Facing us, I see the nostalgic gleam in her eye and the wide smile on her face. “Pacer,” Abi says on a wistful breath.
 

Chapter Thirteen

Della

“This looks like a long time ago. No offense,” Dom says with a wink. “How old are your boys now?”
 

Sudden lightness hits my stomach. I want to kiss Dom for asking the question that I’m unable to speak, but I don’t move. My eyes are locked on Abi and Jared, waiting with bated breath for their answer.
 

Abi’s face falls immediately. “They would have been celebrating their thirtieth birthdays together in four months.”
 

Pacer is twenty-nine, but we don’t have birthdays. None of us know the dates we were born. We only have vague recollections that we all came to Phillip at the same time when we were five.
   

“They would have been?” Dom questions.
 

Abi takes a seat next to Jared, both of them holding hands. “Mason disappeared when he was five.” Abigail's voice is steady. However, Jared leans over and kisses her head, a show of strength from her husband.
 

Pacer.
A few tears escape and I quickly wipe them away.
My brother's real family is sitting across from me.
How is this possible? All the homes in this country and I stumble into Pacer's parents home? Am I being pranked? Is this some kind of sick joke?
 

Abi gives me a sad smile. “Honey, please don’t cry. God knows I’ve shed enough for the next world flood. Unfortunately, it never did me any good.”

“What happened?” The words rush out of me. I didn’t think before I spoke. I just need to know more. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
   

“That's all right.” Abigail fidgets in her seat as she begins to explain. A sign that she may not be okay talking about this but she’s going to anyway. “I’d sent Mason out to check the mail that morning. The boys always did it together. They did everything together, but Jacob wasn’t feeling well, so I told him to go back up to bed. Mason begged me to check the mail on his own, and I relented, going against my gut feeling that he shouldn’t go out the front on his own. I knew the time it took by heart, so when Mason didn’t return in time, I went out after him. There was no sign of him or anyone. No cars and no dust unsettled on the driveway. I had a quick glance up and down the main road but saw no vehicles. Thinking back, I should have stayed longer, looked harder. The road that goes past our house dips a few times in the distance with hills. Maybe if I had stayed one second more I would have seen a car in the distance, at least the color, maybe the make.”

“Hush,” Jared says.
 

Abi pats his leg and continues, “At the time, I thought Mason must have gone down the side of the house and to the backyard instead of through the front door. I called out his name a few times, but he never came out. I started calling out his nickname, Pacer. He’d often stay hidden or refuse to do chores until we used his nickname. He loved it. It was fast becoming the name everyone was using, even his teacher and friends at kindergarten. But he didn’t answer to the name because he wasn’t in the house. He was taken, stolen from me.
 
The police couldn’t find him. They had nothing, no crime scene, no evidence. It was as if my loud, full-of-beans baby boy disappeared into thin air. Three months into his disappearance, a detective told me to expect the worst. That statistically my son was already dead, and any news on him would be about someone finding his body.”

I swallow past a lump in my throat, not sure what to say.
 

“I’m sorry you both had to endure the pain of losing your child. No parent should ever have to go through something like that.” Again Dom jumps in when I can’t, and he says exactly the right thing.

Jared and Abi nod with thanks. It’s a movement they seem very comfortable with. It shows how often they’ve probably heard the same thing from others who have heard their story.
 

What do I do?
Tell them or wait and explain this all to Pacer first? I’m not even sure Pacer wants to find his parents. I don’t want to give Jared and Abi back their son only to have him reject them. Looking around, I understand what my brothers meant when they said finding our families might hurt more than never knowing. Pacer is definitely not that little boy anymore. I also doubt he’s anything like his twin either, maybe in looks but not in personality or the fact that Pacer would rather punch a guy to shut him up rather than just walking away.
 

Finally, strong enough to speak, with a steady voice, I ask, “Your other son, Jacob, does he live nearby?”
 

Abi’s chin quivers and my heart chills.
No.
 

Dom immediately places his hand on my thigh. The heat from his hand seeps through my jeans, and he squeezes my leg gently as if I said my fear aloud and he’s offering me all his support.
 

Seeing his wife struggle, Jared explains for her. “Jacob died a year ago, yesterday. He was on the flight to London which crashed into the North Atlantic Ocean.” Pressing my lips together, I cover my mouth with my hand.
How have they overcome so much loss and sadness?
“That’s still raw for us, and Abi finds it harder to talk about it.”
 

I nod. “Completely understandable. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Abi picks up her cup of tea, and we all watch as she brings the shaking porcelain to her lips and takes a sip. My heart aches like it never has before for her and Jared.
 

Abruptly, Abigail stands from the table and pulls another frame off the wall. She places it in front of Dom and me. It’s Jacob as a grown man. He looks exactly like Pacer. It’s amazing and disturbing all at the same time. Jacob is holding a beautiful little girl in one arm, and his other arm is around a stunning brunette, who is clearly the child’s mother as they look so alike.
 

Glimpsing up at Abi, I see a smile on her face. “This is my gorgeous grandbaby, Ava, and our daughter-in-law, Sophie. Sophie is a beautiful soul inside and out. They live in Marion County. That’s where we just arrived home from when Jared noticed the barn doors were open.” Abi chuckles quietly to herself.
 

Ava, what a beautiful name.
Pacer has a niece.
 

Jared clears his throat loudly and we all look to him. “Abi, they’re still strangers. Let's not go telling our whole life stories now.”
 

“Hush you. I know good people when I see them, and these two are harmless.”
 

I grin and look over at Dom, who is wearing a matching smirk. I wonder if Abi knew I’d killed a man and Dom worked for the mafia, if we’d still be welcome in her home. Strangely, I think it’s something I would actually test. As if this house, or Abi and Jared, bring out the truth in everybody and everything. Maybe it’s because they’ve been so honest with us that I feel I owe them the same in return.
 

Abi sits back down beside Jared and he takes her hand again. It’s a beautiful sight to see. A couple who have had a lifetime of holding hands still can’t keep their hands off each other. Through the good and the bad, they have clung to each other, never letting this harsh world tear them apart, as it does to so many others.
 

Abigail picks up her cup and this time, with a steady hand, she takes a sip and then asks, “So,” with a heavy breath as if letting go of the sadness and wanting to move on. “Tell us about you both. Where are you from, where are you going, how did you hurt your arm and are you a couple?” She ends her question with a wink, glancing only at Dom.
 

Warmth floods my body as Dom and I laugh at the same time about Abi’s sassy comeback wink to Dom.
 

Dom removes his hand from my thigh and begins our usual spiel: Two friends driving to Hastings to visit friends. I’m listening, but I’m not. All I can concentrate on is how incredibly welcoming Abigail has been and how Abi and Jared are listening to Dom, both genuinely interested in our lives and who we are. Except none of it's real. Every word out of Dom's mouth is a lie. Who we are, what we mean to each other and where we come from.
 

Turning my head, I look to Dom and place my hand on his, which is resting on the table. It shocks him enough to stop talking and glance at me. I’ve not gone out of my way to touch him throughout this whole trip.
 

I’m compelled to tell these two strangers my life story, and I have no idea why, but I know it’s the right thing to do. “Dom is protecting me,” I admit. Abi and Jared refocus their gazes on me, and that’s where they stay glued while I tell my story. Everything expels out of me. All but the fact that my brothers and sister were stolen. I leave that part out, deciding Pacer must be able to choose for himself if he will connect with his parents or not. The parts I thought I’d struggle through were surprisingly easy. Each day I’d thought over my past, and it had been agonizing, but saying the horrors aloud to people who I sensed would understand my pain, felt wonderful. It lessened the burden on my soul. I was able to say things I’d only ever thought before. I explained the beatings I’d received as a child from a man who I thought was there to protect me. I then spoke about Jae, a man I trusted who stole my innocence. I told them about my first love, Rex, who I put all my faith in and when I needed him the most, called me a liar. That my last moments with him were filled with hatred and blame. He loathed me.
Me.
For being a victim of his father's disgusting needs. And then I told them about Dom. That he was the last to break my heart and the reason I was in danger from the mafia. That pieces of myself had scattered between those four men and while love may spark between Dom and me, trust no longer lingered inside myself. I’d lost that piece by piece to those who had burned me the worst.
 

When I’d finished, silence surrounded us, and all eyes were on me. Dom stared at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. A small knot of regret forms in my stomach when I observe sadness in his eyes. Dom didn’t know everything, and maybe he shouldn’t have found out this way, sitting across from two strangers, but I’ve never had the strength to speak it all aloud before, and I’m not sure I could ever do it again.
 

Abi and Jared haven’t moved or spoken. Their expressions of shock almost identical, both with wide eyes and slack mouths.
 

I glance back to Dom and this time, I not only see his sadness but worry lines around his eyes. He’s concerned I’ve been too open, that Abi and Jared may not be people we can trust. He might end up being right, but it won’t change the fact that I had to get it all out. I have told so many lies to people and to myself over the past few weeks, maybe even years, that releasing my story—the dangerous, terrible, and good parts—has relieved something inside me.
 

I've talked to a therapist before. Slater took me to one after my rape. The therapist did help me to understand I wasn’t to blame. Even so, looking into Abi’s welcoming, nonjudgmental and kind eyes and voicing it all, took on a whole new meaning to "getting things off my chest." The strangest sensation flowed through me, contentment I think.
 

“Goodness.” Hearing Abi, I turn my gaze to the other side of the table. She’s taking deep breaths while one palm rests against her chest. “I’m not sure what to say,” Abi says, this time looking at me.

“You don’t need to say anything,” I reply. “Just saying it all aloud has helped me tremendously.”
 

Jared coughs, clearing his throat. “I’ve nothing I can offer except, I hope those men died painfully. But let's not waste our time or breaths on such bastards. It's settled. You will both stay here, and we’ll get Benny up here to fix your car.”

“Yes,” Abi agrees with her husband.
   

“We thank you for your hospitality, but it's too dangerous for us to stay. We would be putting you both in danger,” Dom warns.

“I won’t take no for an answer,” Jared says as he stands from the table. “You’ll still be sleeping in the barn because a man has to have some sense, but nonetheless we’ll feed you, shelter you and help you.” Jared walks into the living room and hangs his gun up over the fireplace onto a holder.
 

Looking to Dom as he glances at me, I find that he’s mirroring my expression of confusion.
 

Jared noticing our bewilderment stands by the table and looks me in the eyes thoughtfully. “I’m not a gentle man usually, so I will try to say this as softly as I can. That story is straight up crazy, and anyone in their right mind would turn you out after hearing all that. I’m a straight shooter, and I appreciate when others give me the same decency, even if they think they will be turned away for it. I also hope that if it were my grandbaby in your situation, that someone would help her.”
 

“You deserve a break after everything you’ve been through,” Abi adds. “Sometimes, when you feel all is lost, it’s the unsuspecting outstretched hand which saves a life.” Abi’s smiles with glassy eyes as if she’s talking from personal experience.